Caffeine King

Bustelo Cool Cafe Con Leche Canned Coffee Review

2012-02-02T03:46:00.000-08:00

Distinctly retro, Bustelo Cool Cafe Con Leche is largely similar to the Mocha variety reviewed earlier this year, though this predominately yellow can is not marketed as being an energy beverage. The positively bright colour thankfully helps the eight ounce refreshment jump off the shelve, much more so than does the brown of its sibling, however it still does not look very exciting nor does it make the drinker very excited.

No forced flavours distract from the initially explicit coffee taste, who follows a sugary and watery fattiness, with the latter becoming ever more platitudinous with the more one sips. Coconut oil and milk do the creaming, inadequately and disenchantingly so, saturating two plus of the three and a half grams of fat. The espresso flavour itself has a rather extolling bitterness, nothing medicinal and is only appropriate, although itself is a weak brew, thinning quickly on the tongue and never vindicating much complexity. The experience is most certainly unstimulating, however the undersized can and the surprising drinkability never grant enough time for the experience to become exhausting.

This is not an energy drink, just a humble canned coffee, though the undisclosed caffeine content of the joe did not perk me up much. This was not entirely unpredicted, however even as a simple pre-packaged espresso, Bustelo Cool Cafe Con Leche leaves one shaking their head instead of leaving one impressed.

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Great Value Energy Cherry Limeade Review

2012-01-31T02:23:00.000-08:00

Great Value Energy Cherry Limeade sports a two tone colour scheme that is not particularly unappealing but also not appealing. It is a bit busy, sodden with text that further disrupts the flow of the design, and the physical container is a painful genericization of the real thing.

The recommended dosage per eight ounces leaves the resulting drink still stained of the minerals from my tap's hard water, so a few more additions were in order. Doubling the suggested serving roughly is thankfully enough to disguise the former problem, with the flavour now resembling any fabrication of cherry, with considerably less attention focused on the lime. But all those squirts seemed to have simply replaced the issue with another, the preposterous sweetening, a benumbing saccharinity that is syrupy and thick regardless of how well you try to emulsify the two liquids. Though the ingredients state otherwise you believe neither flavour is naturally derived, both validating an unnerving artificiality that only furthers the experience's ferine simplicity.

With four servings comes 200 milligrams of caffeine, some ginseng, taurine, guarana, and a few B vitamins, and the kick is decent and does not leave one crashed afterward. All in all, I would recommend drinking Great Value Energy Cherry Limeade for its kick if that did not entail having to actually drink it.

Amp Energy Gum Review

2012-01-29T01:43:00.000-08:00

Amp Energy Gum actually does not look too shabby, save for being a bit wordy. The design flows well, with your eyes moving smoothly to each large chunk of text to the next, and the actual background is recognizable and truly not that bad to look at. Regardless, though, there is simply too much writing for its own good, but it is not as big a problem as with the cans.

Citrus is a unique flavour for gum in general, let alone an energy gum, and for most of the time each chew is mindfully playful. The shell cracks like cement in an earthquake, with shards soon crumbling into dust, and the gum itself is initially resistant to the grinding of teeth. It gives way soon enough, and now tastes of lemon, a mild flavour in a mild experience, and it lacks natural a sourness as it twists around the similar presence of lime. The two are difficult to differentiate, at least at first, especially as the two tumble into a blend of apple and guava, with neither new addition being anything more than a stock demonstration. Innuendos of cherry and passion fruit are discernible, albeit hardly, and they complicate the existing cocktail rather than giving it depth. Things are sugar free but not noticeably, and you never really get a mouth full of herbal or bitterness, surprising considering that one would not think the calm citrus taste would be able to cloak them.

Some B vitamins, taurine, and eighty milligrams of caffeine per two pieces is the driving force behind the hour plus long kick, a mediocre one at that, jitterless yes but not particularly strong. Overall, Amp Energy Gum Citrus tastes pretty good, at least it is imaginative, but things are not exactly consistent, neither the product or my praise.

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ABB Extreme Speed Stack Cranapple Twist Energy Drink Review

2012-01-27T02:22:00.000-08:00

Black and red and slightly confused, ABB Extreme Speed Stack Cranapple Twist is not all that bad looking. Its may issue, however, aside from its exhaustingly lengthy name, is that while you identify its potency through its visual abnormalities, when compared to typical energy drinks, it feels a bit overbearing, almost as if it is trying to limit its potential market.

The cracking of the cap's removal lead to the first sip, redolent of the supposed two fruits more so than is the taste. The flavour depicts what is believed to be apple and cranberry in a vapid and watery fashion, not so unlike those innutritious fruit flavoured kids drinks. The beverage is sweet, almost overly so, contributing to both the thick finish and the overarching asperity, the latter partially and thankfully abating as things progress. There is a little tartness to things, appreciatively and effectively stirring an otherwise stagnant experience, though it is not enough to save either the beverage itself or the drinker from total misfortune.

Twenty calories, guarana, taurine, 300mg of caffeine, and a whole slew of turgid herbs and extracts alike, make up the supplement cocktail. The kick was pretty great, though, lasting five hours long easy, with a mild touch of jitters. In the end, ABB Extreme Speed Stack Cranapple Twist is effective as an energy supplement but not as a refreshment.

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Caffeinall Gourmet Caffeine Review

2012-01-25T01:31:00.000-08:00

Caffeinall has a good idea to work with, but packaging wise it falls flat on its irrelevant lips. Since the label does not extend all around the glass, it crams and condenses all the necessary text into too small of an area. And then there is the actual design, which is probably one of the least interesting for any energy product in quite some time, with a stock tie dyed background to an equally boring kiss stain.

Now, Caffeinall is simply bulked caffeine, with the sweet polysaccharide maltodextrin being utilized much like in those bagged sugar substitutes. However unlike the only other caffeine mix experienced, 5150, this is not otherwise sweetened, often rendering less sugary products bitter and medicinal with any generous helping. Pourable like a salt shaker, each sprinkle is roughly thirty milligrams, which means at least three are required to ever be comparable to something reviewed on this site, and this rules out tap water, and anything else bland, from being converted into such a product.

But the vast majority of soft drinks work, whether it is a soda, like Moxie, or even an energy drink, such as Slap Frost Low Calorie. But then there are refreshments like Dr Pepper Ten and Cott Beverage's “Diet Cola,” who's tastes are not affected more so than are their carbonation, with intense foaming occurring soon after your addition, phasing out much of their effervescence. But with beverages, the powder never seems to dissolve, with an edge of unsightly sand always caking to the can or glass. Thankfully though, save for the occasional speck caught in the gap between your teeth, you can not detect the granules when you sip. A bowl of Frosted Toast Crunch gave no mention of the two servings added, though whether or not the cereal is any good is another story. Overall, experimenting with this oddball is absolutely required, but the fun of caffeinated homemade chicken soup is more than worth the research.

90mg gets you a kick lasting two hours, tops, and doubling that thusly doubles the duration. All in all, Caffeinall fulfills its potential, and earns a spot next to my matching salt and pepper shakers.

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Red Rain Berry Energy Shot Review

2012-01-23T02:21:00.000-08:00

Red Rain Berry Energy Shot looks as good as possible being found in a Wal Mart clearance. Sure it is a bit crowded, and absolutely the text is much too ample, but the squiggly line insignia of the brand is sorta cool looking, and the faded red encased in black is probably the best scheme of colours they could have utilized.

The seal is not broken or missing, so it must be safe to consume, with my finger nail running through the thin plastic surprisingly and unusually well. The flavour is not much to bark at, with all the wateriness of any shot, though here, ice cold at least, there is not much of any bitterness. It is not medicinally sharp to the tongue, but there is not much of an actual taste, however, nothing resembling berry that is. The experience is an insipid shell, the fruit's skin if you will, without any of the juicy flesh to savour. Things are at least halfway tart, doing the shot more good than it probably should, and the only satisfaction that comes with the final sip is that that ends the consumer's misery of blandness.

Taurine, caffeine, B vitamins, N-acetyl, and L-tyosine make up the supplement's cocktail, an unfortunate one that does not disclaim any exact amounts. The kick lasted something over two hours, under three, and there was nothing of a crash afterward. Overall, Red Rain Berry Energy Shot rightfully belongs in discount, but not necessarily in the trash.

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Thinq Citricity Energy Drink Review

2012-01-21T01:30:00.000-08:00

This tall twelve ounce can is quite a looker, sexy at times, sleek almost always. But there sadly is some excess text, with its slogan, or whatever you want to call it, dragging on too long even if it furthers its individuality. Almost trying not to call itself an “energy drink,” it prefers to say "focus+mood enhancer," unfortunately becoming more confusing than unique.

“Citricity” is a rather clever name, and the orange on the can alludes to the actual flavour. However the taste, a complex cocktail of clementine and orange, has initially a sharp juicy wateriness to it, who imitate the fruits organically, complete with a dazzling tartness that is only helpful to its desired naturalness. It is an impressive impersonation, but things are generally not sweet enough, even with fifteen grams of sugar and some Stevia for good measure. Resultingly each sip is bored of itself, thus boring the drinker, but thankfully the diminutive twelve ounces flash by swiftly and without agony. Overall, Thinq Citricity is a painless product that is not worth your tongue's time.

Each can contains: caffeine, ginkgo, some complicatedly spelled herbs and extracts, and Vitamins A, D, and many of B. The kick, or should I say “focus+mood enhancement,” lasted just under two hours, unsurprisingly though still unimpressively. In the end, Thinq Citricity is a visually beautiful beverage that drinks blandly.

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Rockstar Xdurance Energy Drink Review

2012-01-19T01:14:00.000-08:00

Rockstar Xdurance, with the alleged flavour of blueberry pomegranate acai, reminds one of another Rockstar, also low carb and impressively caffeinated. This is of course the enjoyable “Zero Carb” variety, which is still currently in production, rendering this new addition to the line seemingly redundant. We will not know if this is simply a redesign until we crack open the can, speaking of which, though, its aluminum transport is a disorganized wreck. On the positive side, it certainly has an appealing colour scheme, and the honeycomb effect is smartly scares, but there is absolutely no flow to how it reads and it loses much of any potential the individual parts have.

Carbonated and sugar free, much unlike the also new coconut variety, Xdurance is an initially pleasant affair of wholly standard tastes, all who have little going for themselves separately. Your tongue is first splashed with blueberry, a wisely dry, in wine-tasting terms, flavour who demonstrates only a basic knowledge of how the fruit is supposed to taste. There is some livening tartness that thankfully arrives, brought in when the expected pomegranate opens the door to the experience. It too lacks a domineer sweetness, however here it mourns the absence and lays lackadaisically on your unimpressed palate. The can calls for acai but instead both black and raspberry come out to play, but neither are able to excite such a moribund experience. There is a dull edge of cherry, swallowed dead within the rough effervescence, and as you could guess, this recent Rockstar is unfortunately a boring one

240 milligrams of caffeine is a worthwhile amount, and there is also taurine, guarana, B vitamins, green tea and other supplements to boot. The kick lasts four and a half hours easy, and even with the occasional jitters, it is easily Rockstar Xdurance's best feature.

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ABB Speed Shot Grape Frost Energy Drink Review

2012-01-17T02:41:00.000-08:00

"Baby, it's cold outside," well at least where I leave, and this obnoxious lyric was vaguely inspired by the "Frost" in "ABB Speed Shot Grape Frost." Its bottle is still too big for self declaration as an energy shot, but the design has sort of grown on me. Now I can see the care put into the locations of statements, even though they often go unexplained and lead to more confusion than what they are worth.

Grape is a flavour that requires great sweetening, something that is thankfully provided in both quantity and quality. Sure, the zero grams of sugar per bottle is rather obvious with each sip, but you aren't greeted by blunt artificiality or bland saccharinity. What you are exposed to candies the fruit, something it necessitates for such a labeling, and with only eight ounces things cleverly avoid overstaying their welcome. There's some tartness present, not exactly depth defying but appreciated regardless, and it cloaks somewhat of a medicinal property who's length and initial strength is kept ever so mild. Overall, ABB Speed Shot Grape Frost's taste is a pleasureful experiment in unoriginality.

250 milligrams of caffeine is enough to feed my horse and giddy it up, for at least four hours. In the end, ABB Speed Shot Grape Frost does enough things right to outweigh the confusion and negatives.

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Great Value Energy Lightning Punch Review

2012-01-15T03:27:00.000-08:00

Faster than a speeding bullet, generic “MiO” style energy drink mixes are already breeding on store shelves, with this green “Lightning Punch” variety belonging to Wal Mart's Great Value line. But it is not a pretty knock off, even if the two colours work exceptionally well, as for starters the bottle is cluttered beyond being saved, or at least things are not thoughtfully organized. The outlined man striking a running pose is lost within the black background, and the logo is much to small that it falls out of focus and leaves the bottle without much of an immediate brand for consumers to identify. Though perhaps the latter argument is just something generic products do, as they rely on similar looking packages to be purchased, but the fact of the matter remains that this water enhancer simply does not look good.

The cap snaps open cheaply and clicks closed with no satisfaction, and my sixteen ounce glass reeked the stank of the worst Red Bull clone once two servings of concentrate were added. Two is simply not enough, with a cup of water simply requiring more than one meager squirt. Four ended up displaying the mysterious flavour that is “Lightning Punch” decently enough, and one additional ended up giving each sip a rather unpleasant thickness that distracts from the experience's idiosyncrasies. Like a certain name brand variety that surely inspired this, things taste blandly of citrus, a complicated blend full of one note fruits. Lime is prominent but not dominate, stupefyingly simple to the tongue and is almost as sour as it is sweet- and boy, is this baby sweet. Pineapple, with its natural sharpness and sugariness, feels right at home in this syrup, although present in a stumblingly simple manner, and the same goes for the equally flat presence of guava. But your tongue is definitely reminded of MiO Green Thunder, so mission accomplished, guys.

About half a teaspoon of the concentrate is a single serving, which is the recommended amount for an eight ounces serving of water, but the caffeine content is only fifty milligrams, down ten from the name brand. Four or so servings renders you an energy drink with 200mg plus, kick lasting for four hours. In the end, this is one of the better generic products, one that doesn't make you wish that you had bought the real stuff instead.

MiO Energy Green Thunder Review

2012-01-13T01:12:00.000-08:00

What “Green Thunder” actually means is beyond me, and it is most curious that this Mio variety gets a creative name, where as the other only has a generic “Black Cherry” moniker. And while the red of the latter was a bit better to the eye than so is this marriage of the blue and yellow primaries, the green really pops off of the black regardless of my preference.

Two squirts and the clear, two cup glass of water is now died bright green, though it remains translucent as ever. The resulting flavour is incredibly weak, though, tasting something of a diluted citrus, naming no specific fruits or displaying any secondary characteristics. But four fun squeezes is when the beverage begins to form into its own, with a sharp pierce of sourness cutting into the still unspecified fruit blend. Lemon and lime are probably involved, perhaps some pineapple added in for complexity matters, and who knows, there is likely a pinch of guava to each sip, but never expect anything to find its feet and stand up out of the crowd. Few ounces remain and your throat is thick with this syrupy solution, one that is comparably sweet to Mtn. Dew, albeit all synthetic sugars, but this self service concentrate is as good, though personally better, tasting than the Black Cherry variety.

I ultimately utilized four splashes, yielding a caffeine content of about 240mg, with some taurine, ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins thrown in for good measure. The kick will vary, obviously, but mine was four and a half hours, with no jitters to boot. Overall, Mio Green Thunder is the little line's best simply because of its taste.

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Arizona Rx Energy Herbal Tonic Review

2012-01-11T02:17:00.000-08:00

Arizona Rx Energy is an ugly misrepresentation of the industry, with it pulling all the wrong moves in terms of both text and visuals. Hailing itself as an herbal tonic, this 330 calorie beverage is far from healthy, and anything positive brought about by the meager ten percentage of juice is lost within the careless load of sugar. And pictorially, you could not get much less appealing than this ninety nine cent drink, with the large lackluster black and white image only adding to the miserableness of an inappropriately verbose can.

To be honest, all of the ample available sips are rather pleasant, with its light citrus taste barely breaking out of that of the green tea. Everything is surprisingly smooth, almost incredibly so, and large gulps ensue and finish the twenty three ounces fast. There is an edge of tartness to the sweet taste of mango, though it is a dissatisfying depiction of the tropical favourite. Lemon is present as well, a bit more potent to the tongue, and it benefits from the latter's acidic characteristic. I'd even wager the simple presence of guava, and the restrictively rough texture gives the three tastes a pulp allusion that is easily their only essence of authenticity. Things are surely sugary, some from honey but mostly from high fructose corn syrup, however the experience basks in the saccharinity almost proudly, and the expected syrupy finish is playfully present and does not keep one from ever taking the next sip. Overall, Arizona Rx Energy's flavour is one that is unashamed to be such a guilty pleasure.

Each can gets you 115mg of caffeine, guarana, ginseng, and vitamins A,C, and E. This bland blend could not ever dream of giving a junkie their daily fix, providing nothing but an hour, maybe hour and a half long buzz. All in all, Arizona Rx Energy is a tasty mess of uneven quality.

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Rockstar Energy Gum Review

2012-01-09T02:20:00.000-08:00

Though I haven't particularly liked many of Rockstar's recent appearances, this “iced mint” flavoured gum actually looks really good. Found at a dive of a convenience store, this black boxed chewing product sports surprisingly fluidity, thanks mostly to the absolute lack of any real clutter. Sure, perhaps there is one or two unnecessary words present, but the bulging, almost three dimensional logo really keeps your eyes from ever wondering off.

The first few dozen chews are purely your mouth struggling to soften the initially stiff material, but things are much better once it becomes supple. The texture is never grainy; always smooth and lackadaisically so, and the gum remains as malleable as ever, even well after the flavour dissipates. But speaking of which, the taste is much milder than anticipated, with the exception of the initial herbal explosion once the hard substance surrenders to your jaw. This moment is when it resembles peppermint the most, cloaking the organics rather well, but it quickly mutates to something more along to the lines of spearmint, with it aiding in the experience's relaxed persona. Overall, my hat is off to Rockstar Energy Gum's flavour.

Each piece contains forty milligrams of caffeine, some taurine, inositol, and a slew of B vitamins. Each serving is twice that amount, equaling it to an eight ounce energy drink. I chewed four sections, translating to 160mg, giving me a kick nothing more impressive than any three hour one from anything else available. In the end, however, this is one of the better caffeinated gums my gums have had the pleasure experiencing.

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Thinq Mixed Berry Energy Drink Review

2012-01-07T02:52:00.000-08:00

Thinq Mixed Berry forces a lot at the consumer at first glance, whether it's the uselessly misspelled name or the rather attractive slim can. But all this peculiarity gives the brand some appreciated identity, and even though isn't all perfect, the large majority is. True, some text doesn't feel wholly required, and sure, you could(or should) be getting more ounces than just twelve, but its sleek personality just happened to tickle my fancy today.

Grape cough syrup pheromones smacked my nose when the screw on lid came off, which thankfully is nothing like what each sip tastes like. It's only mildly sweet, although pleasingly so, with sugar malnutrition never occurring to the “mixed berry” generalization. Out of the broad blend, multiple coloured fruits are present, namely the black and blue ones, but there's also some red and blue raspberry to taste, all holding hands but never hugging; each feels adequately related but never enough to blur into one. I will state my surprise with the mysterious lack of tartness, something that's expected with at least several of the few fruits involved. Things are only slightly carbonated, far tamer than your typical sparkling beverage, but it's enough to spice up this impressively juice-like drink.

This isn't exactly an energy drink, per se, but with it containing undisclosed amounts of caffeine and labeling itself as both a “focus” and “mood” enhancer, it does qualify as one in my book. There's also ginseng, ginkgo, some B vitamins and other stuff, and the kick was nothing out of the usual two hour realm. Overall, Thinq Mixed Berry is a dually confused and confusing drink that's nonetheless enjoyable.

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Slap Crisp Apple Energy Drink Review

2012-01-05T02:34:00.000-08:00

Green, silver, and a graphite-like black make up the colour concoction to Slap Crisp Apple's can, and the trilogy really livens the improved design and brings out its full potential. But don't go getting the idea that I feel the can is perfect, though, but I am hailing it as a much improvement over the earlier look. The text is mild though slightly busy towards the bottom, but for the most part the words are necessary. The silver and asphalt colour balancing works well, and especially pairs with the green of the logo. But speaking of which, I do dislike that the word "Slap" is written in two lines, as I feel it breaks up the drink's otherwise well done fluidity.

While I'm unsure if it too has been redone, Slap Crisp Apple's flavour starts with a low level tartness that alludes then is wholly followed by a mild melting pot of various apple varieties. The main variety is red delicious, albeit an interpretation that isn't as distinctly robust as it naturally is, and the fruit has a mild sweetness. Another variety that participates is the Jazz apple, however it's mostly braided with a bit of a golden ginger. The former provides a crisp juiciness and doesn't suffer from the drink's humble sweetness, and the latter gives faint spiced depth to the flavour as a whole. It spikes enough identity into the two; keeping the complex layering of slight tastes from blandly blending together. The experience has a mint suggestion that's buried deeply within the fruitiness, but it has a distinct presence that surprisingly bonds well with it. The experience is rather light on your palate, and unless you deeply view each passing sip with careful diligence, then the complexity could, and probably will, go without the appreciation that it deserves.

The beverage still provides an impressive kick despite the redesign. I had a solid four hour buzz that was laced lightly of jitters. Each can contains: caffeine(200mg), guarana, taurine, and a variety of B vitamins. All in all, Slap Crisp Apple's reinvented appearance can now finally match the quality of the taste and kick.

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MiO Energy Black Cherry Review

2012-01-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

I may be a virgin to this MiO "water enhancer" stuff, but I'm not of the naive, wait-til-you-get-married type; I've done my research on the topic, and I've seen it in action before. People have even tried to talk me into it, but flavoured and carbonated water, aka soda, is enough of an "enhancement" for me. But in all seriousness, this black cherry's black bottle is quite nice on the eyes, and though text does needlessly bulk the lower portion, it's a problem with the line as a whole and not exclusive to this particular variety.

The sixteen plus ounce bottle utilized received an initial giving of a bit more than two squirts, clouding the once crystal beverage a pleasant purple. But this dyad of injections is a disappointingly bland experience, with the namesake black cherry making a much diluted appearance. The liquid gets ever so darker with an introduction of another splash, which only insignificantly intensifies the still boring flavour. Another few spritzes were in order for me to pleasure each of the many remaining sips, and now we're exposed to the product's mildly thick viscosity and enjoyably high sweetness. It indirectly describes only the faintest of tartness, and everything considered you couldn't define the fruit as tasting even the slightest bit natural. It's purely an artificial affair, an eventually satisfying one, and is super sugary and marginally astringent shot directly on the tongue.

My four or so spurts of the caffeinated concentrate contained somewhere more than 240 milligrams of the stimulant, each serving serving sixty, with my uncertainty stemming from the fact that some drizzles inevitably lasted just a few moments longer than others. There's also ginseng, guarana, taurine, and marginal amounts of a few B vitamins, and the kick, though wildly modifiable, lasted well into the five hour mark. In the end, MiO Energy Black Cherry is a surprising mainstream effort that's equal parts imagination and success.

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Bustelo Cool Cafe Mocha Energy Coffee Review

2012-01-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

With the declaration of being an "energized coffee beverage" lost within the the top of the can, this uniquely identified product has an appreciated vintage look. However, it's one that appeals to those exhausted by their many energy experiences more so than the typical tunnel visioned drinker. The miss sipping within the red "v" is a bit too much, though, not only for me but for the design as a whole, as it distractedly feels wrongly permitted of such a prominent location.

Coffee drinks gets very technical, with slight variations sometimes warranting unique names, but this canned interpretation of the bean brew is very bland and lacks anything distinguishing. Served iced cold, I will laud the fair strength of actual coffee, an initially dominating taste that appears only ever creamed, but it's rules with a plastic rather than an iron fist, and it quickly loses power to the skimmed milkiness that's scarcely tinted of mocha. It actually never dawned on me that things were intended to be chocolaty, and unfortunately only the tail of any given sip is sweet, preceded by the yucky bulking of water to the preliminary creaminess. The experience does thankfully avoid much of any bitterness, at least of any medicinal or unpleasant, but not even an ounce of the can's eight is personality.

Eighty milligrams of caffeine has been added, but whether or not it includes that found in the coffee itself is dismally unspecified. Either way, though, the kick was unimpressive, not lasting well past the hour mark. Overall, this is less of an "energized" coffee beverage and more of an "enervated" one.

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Your Drink Sucks 2011

2011-12-31T00:01:00.000-08:00

Some things are just so bad that they deserve to be criticized again, so here's a convenient list of 2011's worst energy products(call me Mr. Pessimistic Pants if you wish).

*Note, these were not necessarily released in 2011, but all were reviewed in 2011

Archer Farms Vanilla

Energy coffees often times fail to differentiate themselves from each other, but the three Archer Farms varieties are notable for being just so rotten.

Ed Hardy Coffee Rocks
I can sometimes feel a bit bad lamenting something I got for free, but when it sucks as bad as this did, I truly could care less.

FMF Power Fruit Punch

In all honesty, both varieties in the FMF line suck, it's just that Fruit Punch tastes just that much worse.

Cumby's Chill Zone NRG Kick

Though this is actually contains a decent helping of caffeine for an energy soda, 170mg, I absolutely hated everything else about it.

Power Trip The Extreme

Power Trip "The Extreme" proves that potency doesn't always outweigh stupid names and dire flavours.

Speed Unleaded

Speed is a rather new line, to me and the world, and it's unfortunate that they already have such an abhorrent variety.

Stacker 2 Java Shot Mojo Mocha

Aside from its ugly, cocky, bitter, and crappiness, this isn't really all that bad of a shot.

Monster Rehab Protean

Just barely making the list, Rehab Protean is a painful example of Monster's uneven business practices.

UpCake Energy Brownie

Nothing kills a baker more so than a shamelessly bad baked good, and this is such a product, worse if imaginable, and is easily the worst of this year.

Monster Rehab Protean Energy Drink Review

2011-12-30T03:31:00.000-08:00

Clever name aside, the company is inching towards total enervation of their arctic, once proud, and unique, can template that began with the first Rehab. You even could argue that it actually began with Absolutely Zero, sure, but my eyes have become bored regardless. I can't say, though, that the design is bad, far from it in fact, but how many times must consumers see the same thing before it's too much or too late?

The "protein" in "Protean" is surely the culprit of the beverage's sour milk scent, and also must help in the flavour's inappropriate creaminess. Each exposure tastes barely of berry, I'd reckon a darker variety but exact specifications are undisclosed and the absence of carbonation mucks up the relaxed nature that one expects with one without effervescence. The repulsive richness is most distinguished following the unconvincing flavour, but you do thankfully become sorta used to the unfit unctuousness. Sips never grow into gulps, however, and the large fifteen and a half ounce size can is always a chore. But the experience's biggest kick in the groin is actually the second rate saccharinity, as even without the callous creaminess, things would still be shamefully unsweetened. More sugar, artificial or real, is needed before Monster Rehab Protean is anything but a disgusting disappointment.

If you're able to actually finish an entire can then you should get a prize, not another average kick. Sure, the formulaic formulation provides a solid three hour buzz, but it isn't something we haven't had dozens of times before. Each can contains: 170 milligrams of caffeine, some protein, some B vitamins, and taurine. All in all, Monster Rehab Protean's blind ambitions get a few hundred calories worth of brownie points for being unique, not for being good. Oh heavens is it not good.

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Rockstar Coconut Water Energy Drink Review

2011-12-28T02:42:00.000-08:00

Rockstar Coconut Water took me by surprise when I first heard of it, and it's still making me scratch my head. All this talk about the "greatness" that is coconut water hasn't really interested me, as I feel coconuts and its water should be left to my stereotyped vision of Hawaii. Moving on, the can to my right is visually no better than any of the company's previous "hydration" efforts, and although the can is as disorganized as ever, I must admit to sorta liking the peculiar colour choice.

This isn't carbonated but it is sugared, something of a first for this spin off line. The drink reeks of absolutely nothing, but the taste is as distinct if not as unfocused as its can. There is an abundance of commotion to each sip, and the famously fatty fruit is oily textured and slippery at times. The actual flavour is mild, though, and is that of actual coconut water, each can being ten percent, and is comparably sweet to any found in your supermarket's Latin foods aisle. Each exposure to the rather bland thickness, however, impairs the casualness of the experience, as it overwhelms and forces one to suffer slowly through the mostly niche and somewhat mainstream flavour. Rockstar Coconut Water does in fact taste like what its name warns of, but it won't change your, or my, existing opinion of the fad beverage.

Each can of this novelty contains: 160mg of caffeine, taurine, ginseng, and various B vitamins. The ten percent juice is most likely there for its "hydration" gimmick, though the small percentage doubtfully does much good, and it probably doesn't aid in its three or so hour long buzz. In the end, I'm sorry Rockstar, but you do not have a lovely bunch of coconuts.

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Vojo Citrus Energy Mints Review

2011-12-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

I've gotta say, Vojo Citrus Energy Mints come in a pretty attractive container, looking like a sort of premium pack of Tic Tacs. The copious blackness gives things a sexy sleekness, and the package as a whole is consistently slick. I must mention, though, that the opening to the candies is a bit too small, but the company should walk with pride knowing that it's my only complaint thus far.

Being so small and caffeinated, they obviously must be sweetened generously to counter its bitterness, but since only sugar alcohols and those synthetic are used, their aftertaste is quite biting, comparable almost to that of the stimulant it masks. The citrus taste is blandly of only orange, a lonely fruit that is solely accompanied by the slightest sourness, one that's quickly lost within the walls of the pungent substitution. Each individual mint melts rather smoothly, pretty soon after its initial contact with the tongue, however if you chose to chew any of the forty or so pieces you're left with a mess of soft chalky bits that are entirely displeasing, much like the experience itself.

Like my mommy tells me, I am a good boy, and being a good boy of course I researched the caffeine content, as the box cruelly makes no specific mention of it. My findings varied from two to ten milligrams per mint, but my personal time with them prove that either amount isn't quite sufficient. Although it does truly depend on how many you eat, with such a poor taste, it's truly difficult to suffer through enough to get a decent buzz.

Roaring Lion Energy Drink Review

2011-12-24T01:54:00.000-08:00

Though looking superior to its sugar free brethren, Roaring Lion original isn't going to win any awards, as its intended parody of Red Bull leaves little room for its own personality to develop. Sure, I'm a fan of the clean blue can, with its minimal text and absolute fluidity, but this day in age one is all too bored of imitations.

Sips are impressively smooth and border on addicting, as I was a good three in before I even knew what happened. The carbonation helps carry the anticipated taste of apple along efficiently, with no time to stop and gum up the street it travels. The ride the fruit drives is a sweet one, literally so, one that is as genuinely toothsome as it is generous. There's a tart trailer following the former each time the drink hits your taste buds, but it's a pleasantly puckering property that thankfully doesn't slovenly sour this road trip of an experience. Roaring Lion is actually missing some of the interior fabrication that makes up the abused classic that is Red Bull, but who's complaining about the lack of any exhausting gumminess or monotonous medicinal taste?

Each can contains: 152 milligrams of caffeine, some B vitamins, inositol, and taurine. You also get 200 calories and fifty grams of sugar, and the kick is something all too typical; two and a half hours with minor jitters. Overall, Roaring Lion is a tired self aware spoof that suffers from its source material's own infirmity.

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Mini Thin Rush Orange Energy Shot Review

2011-12-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

Mini Thin Rush Orange comes in a bottle that is an embarrassing union of cliches, with no visual flair or even the faintest of personality. Statements are strung about with little purpose, if any at all, and the stock graphics of boring people doing boring things completes the beverage's bargain bin likeness.

Having "natural flavours" doesn't necessarily guarantee authenticity, and while this is far from 100% juice, it isn't initially bad for such a little drink and only gets better. Obviously orange is present, complete with a tad of upfront sourness and decent saccharinity, with the former distracting much of the latter's innate sugar free artificiality. There isn't any caustic bitterness though, from either the just prior or the 200 milligrams of caffeine, which itself is as impressive as the actual amount of everyone's favourite stimulant. There aren't many sips left now to take, and aside from its dull creative edge, I'm happy to report that Mini Thin Rush Orange firmly exemplifies a sort of simplistic bliss.

There are a couple of B vitamins, as well as taurine, present outside my aforementioned namesake, though the four hour buzz is a bit shy of the promised six. All in all, Mini Thin Rush Orange is generally decent, and only really impresses thanks to my incredibly low expectations.

ABB Speed Shot Fruit Burst Energy Drink Review

2011-12-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

The record for biggest self proclaimed "energy shot" could easily go to ABB Speed Shot Fruit Burst, weighing in at a large eight ounces. Preposterous is this, as I don't believe I've seen nothing larger than four ounces, and it does honestly seem a bit foolish to label itself as one and not a full blown energy drink. But I will give them some credit, as it does kinda look like an energy shot, albeit a gargantuan one.

Each sip is a poorly run kindergarten of fruit flavours: loud and unorganized, and if I could see the walls of the bottle I'd bet you'd find crayon markings all about. This hodgepodge can't focus on any single scholar, at least for very long, though cherry, raspberry, and guava are easily the brightest pupils in the class. There's also a new student, orange, a smart but easily manipulated flavour who forms an unwise "friendship" with lime, the school bully and leader of a mischievous band of pear and cranberry. The little rascals causes all sorts of trouble for the teacher, who's surely looking to change her career, and it runs all throughout the experience, distracting the tongue and keeping the other, well behaved children from shining as strongly. Dramatic? Yes, but it illustrates the equally playful experience well.

There is a lot contained by the grey plastic bottle, but what impresses me most is the large 250 milligrams of caffeine. It kicks hard, lasting four hours easy, though I at least felt some of the jitters. And although I refuse to honestly call it an energy shot, I will call ABB Speed Shot Fruit Burst impressive.

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Chill Zone NRG Kick Review

2011-12-18T03:19:00.000-08:00

Not only did I struggle to decide on what its name is, Chill Zone NRG Kick calls itself both an energy drink and a soda, with neither label ever truly being correct. Sure, 170 milligrams of caffeine is adequate, equating to any underwhelming energy drink, but coming in your typical resealable plastic bottle it just can't escape feeling like one of those oft mediocre energy sodas. Furthering the confusion is the beverage's origins, which date back to being a fountain frozen slush, something that's still available.

Each sip chokes thanks to the dieter's nightmare of seventy eight grams of sugar, with the resulting drink resembling flavoured corn syrup more so than anything else. Okay, well perhaps "flavoured" isn't the right word, as the resinous refreshment lacks any actual taste, at least any immediately specific, and instead pierces the tongue with bland saccharine shrapnel. Cherry, lime, and orange are, or at least can be, identified, all with a candy coating that masks their honest complexion and swap their possible distinctiveness for dumbfounding sameness. Things are carbonated but only to a certain extent, and it doesn't help lessen its weight as it swims across your tongue. Overall and unless you didn't already pick up on it, I did not like the taste of Chill Zone NRG Kick.

Other than the aforementioned stimulant, each bottle also contains various B vitamins, taurine, and inositol, with the kick being very much pedestrian, lasting less than three hours. In the end, Chill Zone NRG Kick isn't worth its 310 calories or its budget price tag.

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Stacker 2 Classic Zero Energy Drink Review

2011-12-16T02:09:00.000-08:00

Stacker 2 Classic Zero comes in about as generic of a can possible. There's no visual flare and nothing to capture the attention of anyone, and why it chooses to follow the universally defined word "zero" with "sugar free" is beyond me. The colours are about as bland as the can they appear on, and the yellow in particular is unappealing and unappetizing, and while the can could potentially look far worse, it couldn't look any more quotidian.

A name like "Classic" doesn't create excitement when you first open the can, and the scent initially confirmed my worries. But upon first sip you realize something surprising, and that's that the flavour isn't a prosaic Red Bull clone. It's heavy on the vanilla, a fake taste and thus a simple rendition, but there's an equally strong creaminess to it that distracts from the general ineptitude. Found within the former is the mild suggestion of blueberry, who gives the dairy walls some appreciated depth and edge. Each sip is unsparingly soured, and it has deep roots in artificial soil who's enriched with mild notes of apple. The fruit never winks in the name of authenticity, and it's one of the experience's more recognizable and comfortable characteristics. There really isn't much else going on with the flavour, and although Stacker 2 Classic Zero treads familiarity, it's easily one of the most inspired Red Bull clones to date.

Each can contains: caffeine, several B vitamins, taurine, and inositol. You get an hour long buzz from it, which wasn't impressive back then, and especially this day in age. Overall, Stacker 2 Classic Zero's flavour has fun within the drink's general mediocrity.

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Monster Rehab Rojo Energy Tea Review

2011-12-14T02:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, these Rehab cans keep getting better, and even with Rojo Tea easily being my eye's favourite, I do fear that they're exhausting the design far too quickly. Too much of a good thing is certainly a possibility here, however I'll save my concern for another day, for when I'm inevitably right.

Actual cranberry juice is marginally used, a mere five percent, but the flavour benefits grandly by the harvested's slight edge of tartness and perfect sweetness. Things are further fine tuned thanks to the can's contents insignificant thickness, allowing the beverage's authentic depth to even extend to the tongue. But what's most laudable is the saccharinity, accomplished by true and artificial means, and how well balanced it is with all of the cranberry's little details and characteristics. There's also somewhat of a tea taste present(obviously), however it goes mostly unnoticed and seems to only surface well past the fruit's domination and into the last few sips. Its advent, though, is even a respected one, with its organic occupancy bringing even more validity to the party. Overall, no flavour is perfect, but Rehab Rojo is quite possibly the closest any Monster has ever been.

It's difficult to determine hydration unless you dehydrate yourself, something that I at least seldom do. The kick lasted something around three hours, wholly typical stuff thanks to typical ingredients: caffeine, guarana, taurine, tea, inositol, ginseng, B vitamins, and several extracts. Overall, Rehab Rojo shows surprising creativity, flavour-wise at least, something that I feared Monster had long since abandoned in favour of uneven gimmicks.

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ABB Speed Stack Lemon Lime Energy Drink Review

2011-12-12T02:24:00.000-08:00

If ABB Speed Stack Lemon Lime's appearance has one thing going for it, it has to be the resealable bottle, which is still an unnecessary rarity with energy drinks. Otherwise though, this isn't my favourite looking beverage, with its peculiarity and functionality coming off a tad too strongly. I do like the grip shaped molding, and things are admirably clean, but the hardcore audience it desires will probably be the only market not too intimidated to buy it.

Open a can of Diet 7Up, leave it for a few days and take a sip; that's what ABB Speed Stack Lemon Lime's non carbonated flavour tastes like. Things are actually a lot more viscid, though, with it eventually thickening, particularly towards the back of your throat. It ends up mimicking both of the fruit's pulp, albeit slightly, and this gives the "natural flavours" a lot more authenticity. The citruses both advertise a thick tartness, with the sensation dwelling within the creditable viscosity. There's also a medicinal sharpness to the former, being never quite piquant but always far from pungent, and it shocks the experience and keeps it from dulling to a plodding pace, even if it doesn't ever reach being a very exciting one.

The supplement facts list various extracts and supplements(obviously), many outside the usual taurine, ginseng, and guarana. Caffeine is present with a large 300 milligrams, and the kick is five hours long resultantly. In the end, ABB Speed Stack Lemon Lime delivers what matters when it comes to energy drinks, especially with these so called "extreme" or "intense" varieties.

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Tweaker Berry Energy Shot Review

2011-12-10T02:27:00.000-08:00

Many of times have I seen Tweaker Berry, or one of its line brethren, sport a huge "99 cent" price tag, yet the packaging itself calls for it retailing for an additional dollar. Why merchants shy away and mark the shot down could be for any number of reasons, but it does seem like a waste of space on the actual bottle. Granted, the company may not know how much retailers charge for their products, but you can't tell me someone from marketing hasn't ever stepped into a convenience store.

This Tweaker is the sourest of them all, at least of the one that I've reviewed, and unfortunately it's paired off with the shot's hyper saccharinity, one that's equally as syrupy and almost cloyingly so. There is a flavour to be witnessed here, yes, one obviously of berry, however the blend is dull despite all the acidity and sweetness. No single fruit is the focus, instead we're exposed to a lackadaisical monkey mash of blue, black, and raspberry, all underdeveloped and insultingly emotionless. But with a shot, simplicity isn't much of a fault, as they're designed for rapid consumption, so Tweaker Berry really isn't all that bad, especially since you can painlessly finish it in just a few sips.

Each bottle contains a decent selection of various herbs, chemicals, extracts and stuff, including unknown quantities of caffeine. The energy cocktail kicks well enough, three hours if generous, and there wasn't any of the feared side effects. All in all, Tweaker Berry is a functional shot who's bitterless taste and cheap price outweigh many of its quirks.

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Launch Peppermint Energy Gum Review

2011-12-08T01:44:00.000-08:00

The design looks good in blue, more so than it did in green, but it's now simply exhausting to look at. Sure, there's the gimmicky can, which is molded after that of an energy drink, but with an equally fatiguing degree of text, Launch Peppermint Energy Gum is needlessly overstuffed with too many visuals.

The smooth surfaced gum cracks with minimal force, and it displays perfect elasticity with only a few chews. The initial fissures leak out the strong taste of peppermint, and the flavouring then rapidly intensifies, albeit a bit too strongly. But it's short lived, the taste that is, as the malleable substance itself becomes quickly bland to the tongue. Don't fret, my little readers, as it's relieving to be relieved of the pungent aforementioned. Your palate is still soaked of the distinct herb, meaning you're still exposed to the trademark taste, but now the supple, stretchy material you chew serves no purpose in the way of flavour; spit it out and pop another one of the two piece serving in your mouth. Overall, Launch Peppermint is a decent energy gum, one that tastes like it should.

Two pieces contain: caffeine(122.6mg), taurine, inositol, and several B vitamins. The kick was nothing special, lasting an hour or so, but that's only with one serving. Overall, Launch Peppermint Energy Gum does what it promises, but don't expect it to go up and beyond.

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Whoopass Energy Drink Review

2011-12-06T03:11:00.000-08:00

Whoopass, or "Who Pass" as I first thought, is a buck ninety nine retailing energy drink that has redesigned its original mess of a can into something a lot more consistent and aggressive. But lost within all the changes is personality, as there isn't here that we haven't seen done before, save for its name, which actually is a decent choice. Regardless though, it is an improvement, even if it comes without any character.

Taken aback after my first sip, the flavour is a surprisingly sour balancing of namely raspberries and pomegranate. Red raspberry, initiating the experience well with the aid of the acidic characteristic, soon fades into the latter's appearance, however the transition is unemotionally done and hardly noticeable, thanks to the rearmost's lack of personal individuality and quick absorption of the former's. Things then become a bit of a mess, as you're introduced to several incomplete tastes that lack purpose and structure. Red grape is one of these needless additions, as well as black and blueberry, and they're just a little too strong to be considered notes. They also do not deepen any existing flavours, and they actually taste distant and stubbornly uninvolved. There is, however, something of vanilla to each sip, with it bringing a sort of creamy depth to the first two predominate. As things close we lose a lot of the initial sourness and things get sweeter, more so than ever before, and the final flavour noticed is blue raspberry. It's an unexceptional taste, with very little detail and stupid simplicity, but it connects the drink's finish to its antecedent red variety; giving Whoopass a satisfying sense of completion that's thankfully not lost within the myriad of flavours.

Each can contains: caffeine(200mg), taurine, vitamins, minerals etc.- nothing you can't find out for yourself with the aid of the Internet. The kick was nothing spectacular, the typical four hour long buzz, however there were some jitters to this opened can of Whoopass. In the end, this isn't an energy drink that strikes me as particularly interesting or game changing, and it seems happy with being just another energy drink.

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Diabolo Loco Energy Drink Review

2011-12-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

Diabolo Loco has quite possibly the most unique alleged flavour, which is only interesting considering that this is a drink and not gum or candy. The beverage makes it a point to tell the consumer what the flavour is modeled after, with large mint leaves that really pop off of the black background. The studiously written "Diabolo" looks sharp off of the dark colour, and the bold green text below it (or is it adjacent to?), doesn't distract from any qualities the can has otherwise picked up.

Aiding in it marketability, the flavour is surprisingly tame at first, though it gains some considerable strength in a consistent fashion. It tastes of mint, expectedly, and though it only mildly cools the palate, its delicate presentation is wholly laudable and makes each sip warrants another immediate. There's only the slightest presence of menthol, which is one of what gives the herb its distinct "algid" property, and it's this balanced coyness that allows the experience to taste appropriately familiar while remaining restricted of overjoying the palate. The saccharinity is done with real sugar in cooperation with two of its artificial cousins, and they sweeten everything to a point of impressive believability. What is most surprising, however, is that there really isn't much outside the mint flavouring; sure, there's some inexact fruitiness, namely something of citrus, but its presence is not unlike notes that which can be detected in a cola or coffee. Overall, Diabolo Loco's actual flavour is familiar in taste, but not in how you experience it.

Each can contains: caffeine(160mg), inositol, various vitamins, and taurine. The kick was typical, lasting around three hours, and it was jitters like any. All in all, Diabolo Loco evinces such creativity and sophistication that it's rather generic buzz is excusable.

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Speed Fuel Energy Drink Review

2011-12-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

Speed Fuel continues to follow the line's rather cliche trademark of basing their names off of car lingo, even if the chosen has little to do with the expected flavour. Sure, Unleaded made sense for the sugar free variety, to some extent at least, but like Octane before it, the term "Fuel" just doesn't mentally link to the orange fruit. But argue that I'm simply looking for things to find fault with, and I couldn't defend myself, because that is what I'm doing, as while the can is actually pretty good, it isn't good enough to write an entire opening paragraph about.

Well colour me surprised, and impressed, that Fuel tastes of tangerine, a fruit that's initially familiar yet slightly distinctive. The carbonation seems to dull quickly and is thus left out of the equation, but the flavour itself is powdery and light and achieves an airy mouth feel, keeping it from feeling heavy on the tongue, without the need for the sparkling bubbles. The actual taste of the citrus is quickly livened by an acute drop in the former, which combined with the effete effervescence gives the modest sized orange sphere a distinguished authenticity; moderately resembling the juice inside its easily peeled skin. Things are forty grams sweet with sugar, the real stuff, however it's respectfully reserved from cloying or being overly exposed. Speed Fuel isn't breathtaking, either in terms of originality or enjoyment, but it is my favourite in the line.

Each can contains: caffeine(139.5mg), ginseng, many vitamins starting with B, taurine, vitamin C, and guarana. I wasn't replete with energy, expectedly, during the buzz that lasted just less than three hours. Overall, Speed Fuel takes no risks and plays it entirely safe, which unfortunately dilutes its potential of being extraordinary into being just "extra ordinary."

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Tweaker Grape Energy Shot Review

2011-11-30T02:04:00.000-08:00

Well, aren't we a cluttered little product? I obviously speak of the many tiny sentences that vary from being warnings to being selling points, but the biggest issue is the name itself. Much like the previously reviewed pomegranate variety, there's a stupid "2" following the flavour indication, which itself appears twice. But now there's even more needless text, though the picture does a poor job at proving this, with the addition of the moniker "Purple Haze." Sure, I understand the title, but just further clouds the bottle's potential clarity.

Tweaker Grape's taste doesn't feel restricted by either the artificial sugar or its fate as a shot. The fruit flavour is appropriately saccharine and its lack of distractions prove how careful the experience was conceived. Yes, you could argue against how its simplicity is not true to the fruit, but with a product designed to be finished in only a few sips, you'll likely just appreciate how pleasurable things are before it's empty. And fast consumption is ideal, because as the liquid quickly warms the sweetness thickens, and borders on being too much. The purple vine dweller is somewhat sour here, and it causes minor puckering with larger gulps, which is much easier to stomach than any classic shot bitterness. Overall, there have been many flavours tried by these popular energy concentrates, but grape isn't frequently attempted, and this is a shinning example as to why it deserves to be a flavour more companies experiment with.

There's not much to comment on an energy cocktail that utilizes all sorts of big word herbal extracts and things, as sugar and caffeine are truly what gives people the new age view of "energy." Since this, like most shots, have no sugar, it's up to the undisclosed amount of caffeine to give the consumer the kick they need, which here lasts three or so hours. In the end, Tweaker Grape's flavour is good, really good, and for the oft seen price of ninety nine cents, it's a cheap thrill that doesn't taste so.

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Impulse Extreme Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

2011-11-28T02:27:00.000-08:00

Impulse Extreme Sugar Free uses a completely different design than does the rest of the line, at least of the ones that I've previously reviewed, and while it look similarly congested at times, the smaller red can is visually no better or worse. It initially looks rather arid, but the blue bouncing of the majority colour is enjoyable, and the can abandons the original's boring loudness and prefers to demonstrate a sort of inconsistent elegance.

Bubbles verbally fought off of the freshly unveiled fluid. Its taste is surprisingly influenced more by Red Bull than so its siblings, with an extremely gummy lacquer that leads up to the familiar taste of apple, with a slight vanillin subterranean. The latter is listless and tastes chemically actualized, however the two secondary thankfully refrain from corrupting the ascending apple with either of their unpleasant characteristics, although that isn't to insinuate that the fruit was pleasing beforehand. There's a slight sourness to it, though it doesn't consummate the authentic degree of the such, but the fruit acquires most of its meager verisimilitude in the sweetness. The experience is abundantly sacchariferous and the apple partially thrives within, however the sugariness eventually plays too rough and injures the easily bruised fruit. The immoderate sweetness, though, is well done regardless, with it evincing some unexpected robustness, but one won't forget that there's no sugar while drinking. Overall, Impulse Extreme Sugar Free's taste is absent of individuality, and it is by no means anything that consumers will suffer through more than once.

There's caffeine, vitamin C, several B vitamins, inositol, and taurine. From this there was a surprising kick, that was potent enough to provide a three or so hour buzz. It was sharply felt and climaxed quickly, and positively there wasn't a crash. All in all, yes Impulse Extreme Sugar Free is potent for its size but it's also tasteless, and whether or not it is recommended is according to where your priorities lie.

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Mr Energy Eight Hour Energy Shot Review

2011-11-26T02:28:00.000-08:00

Eight hours is a big claim for such a petite little drink, and one is especially skeptical considering it doesn't disclaim the exact caffeine content, a big no-no in today's world. But my whiny complaints don't stop there, because as our eyes continue about the bottle, they immediately lose focus and are lost within the myriad of text, most of it absolutely useless.

Obviously a bit too tamper resistant, I struggled for a few minutes trying to pry off the cap. From then on I was actually sort of rewarded for my efforts, as while the experience isn't groundbreaking, it was at least palatable. The ingredients list various berry extracts, however they didn't seem to have done much, as the flavour is watery, bland to a great extent, though it is still capable of cloaking most of any feared bitter or expected harshness. The two still rear their ugly heads in on occasion, and sometimes it's more noticeable than others, but things are generally smooth and often passable. Overall, "number one in taste" may be a lie, but it's certainly not the complete opposite of the truth.

Each shot contains: caffeine, many B vitamins, and a whole slew of herbal extracts and stuff that haven't ever really been proven to give energy. But the blend was still rather potent, rocking me with a buzz lasting a few strong hours. Overall, Mr Energy Eight Hour Energy is stupidly named and hopelessly cluttered, but its drinkable taste and better kick round things out a bit.

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Speed Unleaded Energy Drink Review

2011-11-24T02:23:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find a turkey flavoured energy drink, so it looks like we'll have to settle with Speed Unleaded. What is surprising, however, or perhaps because I'm inattentive, that this is actually the line's lone sugar free variety, one that doesn't sport the typical baby blue colour. There isn't even the common clutter that redundantly tells us its liking for the artificial sugars, something that is ends up being a sort of double edged positive, I guess.

Things don't taste quite right when you take your first sip, and any subsequent confirms the unfortunate potential that this flavour is in fact intentional. It's a dry experience, in other words it's mostly unsweetened, and this is hugely detrimental to the authenticity and to the pleasure that the fruits withhold and provide. The actual flavour is quite complex, needlessly so though, and the intense absence of anything saccharine censors their idiosyncrasies and clumps the identities into a one hump camel. Grapefruit and raspberry are the key players, and they're bulked and diluted by the taste of a suppressed lemon and by that of a mute strawberry. Both of the latter are rather powdery and slightly tart, however, these traits do not carry over into properly adhering to the two predominate, and instead they're glaringly incompatible and thusly distracting. But that's a good thing, as at least you have something to keep you from ever lamenting the shoddy saccharinity.

Each can contains: taurine, guarana, inositol, ginseng, various B vitamins, and an undisclosed amount of caffeine. Things lasted only about two hours long, the kick that is, and while low potency was a previous variety's biggest drawback, it seems that Speed Unleaded is just all around bad.

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Roaring Lion Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

2011-11-22T01:02:00.000-08:00

Roaring Lion Sugar Free is a proud Red Bull clone, perhaps a bit too happy though, with the company claiming that one can't detect and flavour difference between this and the popular drink. But while taste is purely subjective, I'm sure we'll all agree that its can isn't too good looking, with the baby blue not at all working with the uninspired illustration.

Being modeled after an entirely boring flavour means you too will taste ordinary. There's the familiar taste of apples, something of a tart variety with plenty of fake sweetness, and compared to its inspiration it is far more noticeably animated. The tree that bore the fruit is hollow and resembles the usual vanillin flavour, with its roots tasting decidedly medicinal and lounging in bubble gum tainted soil. Sourness runs strongly throughout the barked plant, and everything is resultantly influenced by the acidic characteristic. And while the integral parts of the experience, and their organization, do mimic that of which is relentlessly copied, Roaring Lion Sugar Free is a lively reimagining of the dull taste of Red Bull Sugar Free.

Each can contains: caffeine(112mg), taurine, inositol, and a slew of B vitamins. It kicks like any other drink you've had, namely a certain one, and it lasted two plus hours. All in all, Roaring Lion Sugar Free is a total and complete Red Bull clone, something the company is probably honored to be called.

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Ed Hardy Caffeinated Coffee Rocks Review

2011-11-20T02:25:00.000-08:00

Ed Hardy Coffee Rocks' box looks just as good as did its Chocolate brother, though I do greatly prefer the black background over the brown. Otherwise, spare some text changes, the two aren't any different, but then again why should they of tried to fix something that wasn't broken?

The strong natural and artificial coffee flavour is staggering at first bite, with the sharpness and bitterness of any budget candy coated espresso bean. A crunchy shell disguises a solid core of semisweet chocolate, but the sixty percent cocoa is itself far too bitter to play well with that of the added coffee taste, as each rock, if you will, ends up publicizing no fair sweetness or fattiness. Though there are ten grams of fat, and twenty one grams of sugar, making it the first ingredient, the burnt pungency the experience so unwittingly sponsors is still predominate, and voids either of the former from alleviating even slightly from it. I will admit, though, that as you force yourself to continue eating, the individual pieces eventually become somewhat tolerable, about half way through the box, but even then they weren't pleasant enough to willingly finish what you started. Wholly do I feel that milk, or some sort of hyper saccharine chocolate, was required to ease the biting astringency.

Yes, it's possible to get a full six or so hour buzz from Ed Hardy Coffee Rocks, with it containing 600 milligrams of caffeine. The catch is, however, that you must eat the entire box. In the end, it doesn't matter how potent your product may be if the consumer can't even, or can barely, eat their way there.

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Red Thunder Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

2011-11-18T02:45:00.000-08:00

There's not much to comment on Red Thunder Sugar Free's can, with its small stature and painful unoriginality. Both are commonly anticipated by the worse of the worse, so there isn't any disappointment here, and by being store brand it's almost mandatory to be such a blatant copy. Other than that, however, there really isn't much to criticize, though don't expected me to start with the praising until there's another redesign.

What we have today isn't all too bad, how ever often we've previously experienced it. There's a solid sweetness that properly sugars a dominating apple taste, who subsequently becomes greatly soured. The latter gains grand momentum as the sips continue, and though it never climaxes at an unpleasant strength, you do resultantly identify it as an integral part of the general flavour, and not just a simple characteristic. The now harvested fruit isn't defined honestly here, and instead we're greeted by an artificial resemblance, but everything works well with it being so synthetic to the tongue. The absolute absence of anything chemical, vanillin, or gummy, is pleasingly different from others with similar tastes, which does give Red Thunder Sugar Free somewhat of an individuality.

The hour and a half long buzz was wholly expected, and understandable with such a trite energy cocktail: caffeine, inositol, various B vitamins, and taurine. Overall, for being so derivative, Red Thunder Sugar Free isn't all that bad.

Extreme Impulse Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

2011-11-16T02:18:00.000-08:00

The first thing that lured me to Extreme Impulse Sugar Free was a two for a dollar sale, not its can, which isn't particularly attractive. Sure, it's somewhat edgy, with many sharp points spread about the packaging, but by having the text come in different colours, fonts, and sizes, your eyes are easily distracted.

Much like its sugared sibling, the flavour concentrates namely on lime, though it's almost entirely swallowed in needlessly rough carbonation and is followed by a slight edge of unfocused bitterness. The fruit itself is ill defined and improperly sweetened, with a slight sourness being all that elucidates anything natural for the citrus. The impassioned effervescence obfuscates the new taste of melon, the variety unknown, and what you can notice of it is seen abreast to the mild bitterness. The experience is now almost done, thankfully, however with the last few sips the drink seems to thicken and clog the back of your throat. It's an unpleasant cloyingness that's surprising considering how dry the general flavour is. Overall, by removing the syrupy saccharinity I enjoyed so much in the original, Extreme Impulse Sugar Free is a monotonous chore to finish.

Each can contains: caffeine, taurine, inositol, various B vitamins, and vitamin C. The energy cocktail is rather basic but gets the job done, with it resulting in a kick lasting something under four hours. All in all, the original Extreme Impulse was a guilty pleasure, but this sugar free variety removes not only all of the guiltiness but also all of the pleasure.

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Speed Octane Energy Drink Review

2011-11-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

Speed Octane's full name should technically have "Robby Gordon's" before it, but I think it sounds a lot better without such endorsement. Still, it's a much less brazen tie in than was Jeff Gordon's attempt years ago, with really no mention of the oft lampooned sport. The yellow looks great off of the pure black background, and it's refreshing to see such a visually empty can that isn't at all lacking in style.

Sour lemon is the key fruit here, previously suggested by the bright colour of the can, and it's played uniquely and is equally well done. The neon coloured fluid is a structure of loose grains, a sort of powdery mouth feel that plays kindly with the acidic citrus. The former texture is itself tinted casually by the tastes of lime and melon, both of which are correctly sweet and harmonize well with the foremost flavour. The little green one is also sour, albeit one that's a tad more piquant, whereas the melon brings no secondary characteristics to the table. There are some spritzes of mango and guava, though they don't particularly add much, they do help the experience achieve the sort of citrus fruit punch route it was trying for. Everything has been wholly enjoyable thus far, however a rather negligible complaint is how the carbonation is subdued and there isn't any sort of finishing bite, making each sip lack a sort of completed satisfaction.

The kick is probably the drink's worst aspect, though it isn't exactly a disappointment, with it lasting two plus hours or so. Each can contains: caffeine, taurine, inositol, and many B vitamins. In the end, Speed Octane is a coherent and pleasant energy drink who's only true flaw was the $2.49 I paid.

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Ed Hardy Orange Energy Sticks Review

2011-11-12T02:02:00.000-08:00

Other than that the box is now orange, it isn't any different from the former pomegranate variety. Sure, the billed flavour has obviously changed, but I would expect them to change, or at least alter, the illustration and not just the colour, considering how they surely have many at their disposal. But yes, I did like the previous design, and it looks ever as good with a fresh coat of paint.

There's a lot of the expected orange fruit to each individual grain, and while it has a good degree of tartness, it remains ever true to any candy tasting of the such. This isn't accomplished thanks to a predominate sweetness, but rather to how the actual flavouring is respectfully ignorant to following the naturally complex construction of the citrus. Rather it tastes simple and one dimensional, with the only organic breath being from the aforementioned tartness. But we really must discuss the problem with zero calorie saccharinity, as although it avoids tasting artificial, it doesn't declare the robustness required for such a fruit. Plus, the use erythritol gives each subsequent packet an ever growing, and eventually almost relentless cooling effect. But if this undesired sensation occurs only when you have more than one sachet, then why not just limit yourself to one, you may wonder? Well if you did that, you'd only be having eighty milligrams of caffeine.

Like I just said there's only eighty milligrams of caffeine in each of the three included parcels, though I should mention that there's also some B vitamins present. One serving, if you will, gives out only a two hour or so long kick, with two servings bumping it up to three. Three servings in, however, and you'll experience a near four hour long kick, none of them with jitters. Overall, Ed Hardy Orange Energy Sticks are small and three of them are potent, but the taste is just too much to endure.

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Reed's Energy Elixir Review

2011-11-10T02:36:00.000-08:00

Reed's Energy Elixir comes in a purple can that unwittingly lists many of the ingredients involved with its formulation. But caffeine isn't listed, though the product does contains some derived from the listed green tea. Someone like myself can easily grasp the concept of caffeine being provided by tea, but the common consumer is much less likely to even partially understand. But moving on, and outside the aforementioned(and criticized) ingredient documentation, the design's funky background image of what is believed to be nature, in some sort, is appealing and looks quite attractive in purple.

Reed's Energy Elixir superficially tastes a lot like your typical herb beverage, but I really found myself really enjoying it after the first few sips. There are many notes rather one general flavour, though there are dominate suggestions of ginger and variegated fruits. Lemon and pineapple tastes are enveloped from advising any depth or authenticity, but rather than the experience suffering from the cloaked duo, it provides a fruity understatement that balances the dictating spice. The ginger stings the flavour initially, but a surge in sweetness is able to honey the former enough for an incomplete resemblance of store bought ginger beer. The green tea taste is pleasurably mild, and it's positioned nether to the earlier ginger, but the two are tasted at once and are intricately blended for optimum complexity and pleasantry. Overall, Reed's Energy Elixir is peculiar and is definitely not for everyone, but it's superbly enjoyable and a big breath of fresh air in the congested energy drink market.

Each can contains: caffeine, in some capacity, ginseng, and several B vitamins. There wasn't much in terms of energy, especially when compared to what one like me is used to, but my body certainly observed and pleasured the involved caffeine. All in all, Reed's Energy Elixir's overly bizarre flavour powerfully unique, and is guaranteed to have its critics, with me on the side of those who enjoyed it.

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Bawls Guarana Cherry Review

2011-11-08T02:15:00.000-08:00

Since the line hasn't done much with the brand's potential, outside the lauded original and root beer variety, I'm not excited for this review, not to mention that the canned version received only a passing grade years back. The Bawls' gimmick appearance is really beginning to wear thin, with the bumped bottle showing no visual flair. Sure, the red writing looks sleek off the bare clear back, but the glass is so sensitive that it permits any colours or light to shine through and blur its clarity, and who can be enticed by that?

Bawls Guarana Cherry doesn't have the same level of sweetness as did the original, nor is it as creatively cohesive. Yes, the expected cherry seems to be the beverage's focus, but it's constructed with only a touch of authentically, as the namesake fruit is glaringly hollow and lacks a certain robustness to distract. Even some sour or tartness would be alleviating, to some degree, but both are lamentably absent. Salt in the wounds is a vague backdrop of vanilla that is obscured largely by the carbonation. It's tame on the tongue but harsh to the taste, and only when it subsides slightly with the last few sips do you notice any of the complexity. But we're now thankfully at that point, and things begin to take on a strawberry influence that's itself bland but adds relieving intricacy. Overall, this is a boring mess of mistakes, all of which seem so easily avoidable.

The improper sweetness is thanks to a surprisingly high thirty two grams, and there's also caffeine and guarana. In the end, I really didn't enjoy Bawls Cherry, but while it is tasteless, it isn't distasteful.

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Rhino's Energy Drink & Fruit Review

2011-11-06T02:04:00.000-08:00

By simply tacking on "& Fruit" to the name, rhino's Energy Drink & Fruit just sounds clumsy and vague, with a strong potential to confuse consumers. There really should be ample focus on how it's thirty percent juice, with half of that being cranberry. But this variety smartly changes a few things from the can design it borrows, and the bigger size is most notable.

There's no carbonation, which surprised me even though it probably shouldn't have, and the aforementioned percentage of juice gives each sip an organic explicitness. What I mean is that the experience isn't at all sweet, though there's a measurable amount of sugar. Cranberry is most prominent, and its dry tartness is hugely noticeable but enjoyably so, at least to this drinker. The fruit's distinct personality is furthered partially by the diluted taste of chokeberry, who here isn't able to craft anything noted for itself, just additional depth for the regnant flavour. Following is sort of bitter bite, one that rounds out the taste of the cranberry to one that's so unexpectedly but appreciatively raw. Overall, rhino's Energy Drink & Fruit is such a break from the norm of energy drinks, who are almost always too saccharine and sport unoriginal flavours, or at least handle them so.

Each can contains: ninety three milligrams of caffeine, guarana, and vitamin C. This German made blend of ingredients provides a buzz lasting only two plus hours. Overall, if I was to ever drink rhino's Energy Drink & Fruit again, it would be for the only reason anyone else should; its pleasingly aberrant taste.

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Ed Hardy King Dog Energy Mints Review

2011-11-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

I'm ever continually impressed with the packaging of the Ed Hardy products, and King Dog Energy Mints is my personal favourite. There's a clean simplicity to how things look, and the matte finish gives the tin an unexpected quality feel.

The physical dimension of the candy is much smaller than most previous energy mints have been, with these actually resembling something more along the lines of Altoids. The pure white tablets crumble quickly, even initially, and after a few moments on the tongue they do not require much vexing to give way. The actual flavour is nothing special, with it tasting strongly of the usual peppermint that's so familiar now that it's become almost boring, though these dwarf pieces keep from exhausting the eater because of their infinitesimal stature. And with five mints equaling one of the competition, at least in the view of caffeine, I found myself enjoying the smaller investments more so than any larger one has in the past. But the experience is far from perfect, not just in the sense of negatives, however. One can forgive the inappropriate plastic taste that accompanies the first few you eat, but the real issue is how little peppermint excites me. Sure, it's a popular flavour, an obvious choice for any company to utilize, but is it wrong to wish for a more creative taste?

Five mints contain 100 milligrams of caffeine, and undisclosed amounts of guarana and ginseng. I had ten pieces, easy, and the kick was something of a potent one, lasting a solid four hours. All in all, though Ed Hardy King Dog Energy Mints is marginally the best product yet by the company, it is by far the most consistent. Both, however, are rather faint praise.

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Mtn Dew Pitch Black Soda Review

2011-11-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

Outside its diet counterpart, I do not drink Mtn Dew at all, as I've always found it way too sweet. But this year they resurrected the limited edition variety Pitch Black, which I never tried during its initial run last decade. It's bottle design is certainly appealing, considering my criticisms with other members of the line, with the grim purple really making the green and red logo pop. Things are kept clean and organized, and the background adds to the former rather than distracting from it.

The carbonation guides you to the surprisingly feeble flavour of the promised black grape, and this initially inexorable effervescence guises its foundation of the trademark Mtn Dew citrus taste. But the bubbles quickly pop and the drink briskly begins to lose its fizz, and the latter milquetoast taste becomes partially unveiled, a muddled blend namely of lime and melon, two flavours that are indistinct and wretchedly so. They tastelessly bulk the already underdeveloped grape savour into one that's even more shallow and unexciting. Nothing is sour or tart, but most unexpected is how the seventy seven grams of sugar don't over sweeten. All of the fruits have a balanced saccharinity, and the experience isn't a syrupy one. It's one positive, the flavour's only positive, and that makes this really easy not to recommend.

There's a lot of sugar and a lot of calories, but not much else. Nutrition is near non existent, but there's ninety one milligrams of caffeine for good measure. In the end, I did like the bottle design, and since sodas generally are unhealthy, it is the inept taste where Mtn Dew Pitch Black truly misses.

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V8 V Fusion Peach Mango Energy Drink Review

2011-10-31T02:19:00.000-07:00

V8 V Fusion Peach Mango Energy fails visually mostly because of its small size, which stands at a small eight ounces. Much like the Jamba line, there honestly isn't any market space for drinks of such diminutive stature, considering how us consumers are largely interested in value, which thus allows shots and much larger products to have any real chance of succeeding.

There's a surprising degree of depth to each sip, and things are much more intricate than simply mango and peach flavoured. Sure, those two fruits are present in large quantities, but it's hard to ignore the distant tastes of orange and apple. There's no interaction between the two dynamic duos, however, and there's a slight incongruous feel as they both swim across your mouth. Thankfully and almost expectantly so, the involvement of juices keeps each fruit from tasting at all artificial, though all four share the all the same bunch of little problems. What I find most glaring is their sweetness, which seems unnecessarily numbed and unfairly restricted. The saccharinity should be far more chipper than this subdued excuse, and actually everything should be jubilant than it is. Each fruit tastes individually tired and is frustratingly boring to sip, and adding insult to injury is the absence of anything textural for your tongue to play with, no pulp and no carbonation. Sipping is otherwise pleasingly smooth, but one can't help but find themselves wishing that they were drinking something more exciting.

There's eighty milligrams of caffeine, which is the only energy ingredient per se, though there is the obvious nutrients brought about thanks to the eight combined fruits and veggies. I'd generously reckon the kick lasted two hours, with the positive lack of jitters. Overall, V8 V Fusion Peach Mango Energy is forgettable, though my low initial expectations keep it from being disappointingly so.

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rip it 3-Way Energy Drink Review

2011-10-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

rip it 3-Way comes in a rather refreshing packaging, at least in the sense of the colours used and how they improve the near exhausted design trademark of the line. The blue and the yellow feel balanced, if not equally present, and the slight imbuing of both silver and black also aid in the revivifying aspect. But the top rim, where it declares its value price, acts as a double blade of sort, as while it disallows merchants from overcharging, it also gives the can an inescapable budget brand quality.

It's a bit obvious considering the graphic insignias on the can, but the flavour is intended to taste of blueberry, strawberry, and blackberry, and it thankfully does. But what's impressive is how the blue and the blackberry appreciate the other, and they resultantly appear almost as one. They're at least noticed simultaneously, and although the two personalities certainly allude to one another, they still withhold enough of their own identity. The blueberry is robust to taste, perhaps the most of the group, followed closely by the complementing blackberry. The taste of the former, lighter coloured fruit is deepened by that of the darker berry, who's flavour is thus broadened by that of the prior. The strawberry, however, is the least involved of the ternary, with it never exactly playing with the others. It materializes alongside its neighbors, but it unfortunately chooses to wonder passingly instead of further evolving. The experience otherwise evokes emotion from the two more successful berries, and thankfully the general flavour doesn't suffer much from the one unfocused fruit.

Each can contains: caffeine(200mg), taurine, guarana, inositol, and various B vitamins. The kick lasted four hours, typical for the line but not exactly typical for energy drinks in general, at least not yet. Problems and all, 3-Way is the best newly released rip it I've had in a long while.

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Talon Energy Cola Review

2011-10-27T02:04:00.000-07:00

Talon Energy Cola is red because of Coke, thanks to the years it spent cementing the colour with the flavour until the two where completely complementary. Thankfully though, the can actually looks quite good even with this sort of arranged marriage. There's surely much going on, but there's a grand sense of fluidity, and nothing seems to halt your eyes from moving about softly.

Each sip tastes instantly familiar but is at the same time ever so refined, as the body resembles one that has been shaped and influenced by every pure cola that has ever preceded it. There's a trilogy of citruses to taste, a muddled blend unfortunately, but the otherwise earthy extracts of orange, lime, and lemon, help broaden the central taste. Vanilla is the biggie here, and it's spiked lightly by the appropriate taste of cinnamon. The former is creamy somewhat but nevertheless adequately, and both spices detail all the robustness they should naturally. Both lay upon a complex underground of ginger and cloves, a subterranean braid that raises the mild intensity of the fragrant seasonings. Sweetness is key with this soda species, but there are no concerns here with the delightfully robust yet reserved sugaring that establishes everything desired and required, and succeeding is a roughing of carbonation, one that's pleasingly stern but rightfully so. Overall, Talon Cola's taste is far from the best, or even the most unique, but it achieves praise due to how it remains unremittingly exclusive to its genre.

The kick approximately lasted three hours, thanks to an energy cocktail of: taurine, caffeine(160mg), ginseng, guarana, various B vitamins, and inositol. All in all, Talon Energy Cola is a welcome addition to both the line and energy colas in general, even with its imperfections.

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Arizona RX Energy Shot Review

2011-10-25T01:35:00.000-07:00

Arizona RX Energy Shot thankfully resembles the company's flagship products, but it feels more like it was inspired by rather than being a simple condensing of them. This allows the design to be quickly identified by fans of the line, though that isn't to say that it is problem free. It's mainly the cluttering at the bottom, with the true but trite statements congesting the otherwise cleanly organized bottle. Also, utilizing the term "fast shot" is confusing, especially since it follows a clearer word, and it doesn't seem as if it was at all required.

The smoothness of Arizona RX was very surprising, and this fluidity is admiringly retained throughout. The actual flavour initially mimics lemon laudably, with a slight sourness that runs subjacently. Additionally there's a minor tartness that is on display, and while it isn't fundamentally necessitated by or with the little yellow fruit, it indirectly elaborates further upon the depth of it as well as partially polishing it. But expectedly, the taste of the employed green tea rears onto the palate, however it's pleasantly mild and braids terrifically with the citrus. The tea's natural flavour gives the entire experience a grounded sense of realism without tacking on any sort of bitter or disagreeableness, and it doesn't feel secondary to the subsistence of the lemon. Sugar, honey, and sucralose are all embraced, and the first two are enough to instill believability as well as mask any undesired taste from the latter, who is bestowed to further the sweetening. Overall, Arizona RX's pleasing simplicity renders it focused and wonderful to drink.

Each bottle contains: various B vitamins, taurine, guarana, ginseng, and an undisclosed amount of caffeine. The felt buzz was two or so hours of length, and was both jitter and crash free. In the end and for an energy shot, the dollar to purchase Arizona RX Shot was a dollar well spent, given how the quality was spread rather evenly up until the kick.

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Monster Rehab Green Tea Energy Drink Review

2011-10-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

For immediate connection to the popular tea, the change from yellow to green is as visually appealing a decision as it is a logical one. Things work really quite well, and this is easily one of the company's strongest colour schemes yet. It's understandably based on the original Rehab's can and it is equally busy, but thankfully everything is controlled and kept fairly organized.

Though it has top(or should I say bottom) billing on the can, the actual flavour is less focused on green tea than it is pineapple. It achieves decent authenticity thanks to it actually containing juice, though it isn't nearly as sweet or sharp as one may expect. It instead executes this genuineness by the faint textural attendance of pulp and by its realistic sourness. It also helps that there's additionally apple juice present, and although it's likely involved for economic and bulking reasons, their intensely comparable tastes are just different enough that the general flavour depicts comfortable dimension. The mildly censored tastes of black and the aforementioned tea subsequently arise, but thankfully a bit too late in the experience for one to acutely notice. The drink finishes with a thin slippery film that does wash away quickly, and while it is ever so unsavoury, things are otherwise rather enjoyable.

Each can contains: caffeine, various B vitamins, inositol, taurine, and vitamin C. This cocktail provided a standard three hour kick that didn't noticeably hydrate me, though it's difficult to know how one is supposed to determine that. In the end, Monster Rehab Green Tea is one of the better varieties in a line that so obviously doesn't have high quality standards.

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Rhino's Energy Drink Review

2011-10-21T02:51:00.000-07:00

Grammatically speaking, this is the rhino's own energy drink and not simply one named after the thick skinned herbivore. It's also quite obvious, if not overly so, as to what inspired the design here, as everything from the diminutive can to the large creature mascot has been done countless times before. Everything is so blatant, and feels as if this is one of those drinks that was released right as and just because Red Bull grew wings and flew off the shelves.

We all know what we're getting into when we crack open a can that's so brazenly unoriginal, and we taste all the predictable staples we have experienced so many times before. There's the taste of sour apples, however not a very blunt flavour and it doesn't really ever press hard for you to notice it. There's a varying presence of vanilla for our tongue to exhaustively play with, but there's a complete lack of anything gummy or medicinal, both of which are pleasant and relieving vacancies. Another positive is how the sugars sweeten without ever becoming syrupy or thick, and the twenty seven grams do not ever candy the aforesaid fruit. As a result each sip is smooth and swift, but is all the more painfully stereotypical.

This Austrian made drink doesn't contain much, other than caffeine, inositol, taurine, and a few B vitamins, and the kick was weak, lasing two hours if even. Overall, several species of rhino are endangered, and let's hope rhino's Energy Drink is the next to become extinct.

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Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks Review

2011-10-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks' box, though sporting some large text, is superb looking, with the stylish dog and easy flowing organization being the two greatest examples. I do truly appreciate how they kept things entirely clean with the absence of anything distracting, however using the word "Rocks" has the potential for confusing potential costumers.

Out fall two or three imperfect rounds of the cocoa confection, and by fall I mean into my mouth. I am displeased, however, to note of a bitter undercurrent that's of equal strength of the actual flavour. This thankfully lasts only briefly and concerns only the first few you eat, but once you stop stuffing your mouth full of them, it returns in the form of an aftertaste. But for now, you can simply taste the chocolate, but once you bite through the thin candy coating you're exposed to a rather pedestrian semisweet variety of the such. Each chew yields a slight grainy texture, who's slightness only aids in the classification as a low grade chocolate. Normally I'm a big advocate for darker, thus less sweet, varieties of the oft brown treat, but with 600 milligrams of the caffeine good stuff, one really does wish for far more saccharinity to counter all the inherit bitterness. But all the former didn't seem to dissuade me from consuming the whole box, all in one sitting, but punishment for my gluttony was dished out in the form of the aforementioned aftertaste, which chokes the palate with the expected. And in the end, I sure do hate when something leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

I already stated how much caffeine are in these bad(tasting) boys, and you better believe they're powerful stuff. The entire box provides a five to six hour buzz, if not longer, though you'd better pace yourself or you risk getting a pace maker. Overall, Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks is an unbalanced experiment in creativity.

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Jump Coffee Cola Energy Drink Review

2011-10-17T02:12:00.000-07:00

Jump Coffee Cola's name helps to make one unique first impression, but let's talk about the can for now. Its is reminiscent of awake good morning energy, at least in the way of colours, and it's equally as boring, which is unfortunate considering all the peculiar potential it has. It should symbolize both coffee and cola, neither of which though are detailed here, at least not extensively.

It's carbonated like any soda, but it reeks like the breath of a Starbucks employee. I'm surely cautious when I approach taking my first sip, and thankfully I was, as the combination requires some getting used to. It honestly doesn't dabble much into the veins of an actual cola, with only the effervescence really ever reminding you of its supposed presence. What is notably present is the taste of coffee, and though its flavour is watery and bland, there's soon the violent birthing of creamy vanilla and the subsequent finish of subdued bitterness. Artificial sugars mostly numb the latter, but its vagueness is completely required to give the experience believability. The saccharinity is also kind to the vanilla, who is especially pleased by the generosity and thusly is synthetically but ever so sweetly creamy. The ingredients do not list actual coffee extract, so we're left to assume it's done through the "natural and artificial flavours," and especially in that regard is Jump Coffee Cola worth drinking.

Each can contains only caffeine, several B vitamins, and vitamin C. Understandably the kick was less than two hours long, with neither jitters or a crash being noticed. All in all, Jump Coffee Cola is undoubtedly original through the distinct unification of the two flavours, and though it's not free of any problems, I'm satisfied with the fifty cents I paid.

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Talon Energy Drink Review

2011-10-15T02:42:00.000-07:00

It feels great to finally be reviewing Talon Energy, which is a drink that has alluded me for many years. Its can, though, has never exactly been what has possessed me to locate the beverage, as while it looks completely acceptable, if not rather cool and intimidating, it isn't really anything new. It's got the blackness and simple design of any Monster clone, and the animal inspired name is clearly modeled after Red Bull, however it is one of the less obvious choices I've seen.

The flavour is thankfully more inspirited than any clone of the aforementioned would be. There's a sour green apple taste that cloaks a nether pineapple that is still enabled to sharply influence the flavour even though its strength isn't demanding. Appreciatively relieving from the previous is the refreshing taste of grapefruit, who's strength is as mild as any such drink before it. The pink fleshed citrus advertises a sort of dry tartness to each sip that is longer lasting than the flavour itself, and is especially detected as everything progresses and the bitter skinned fruit decreases from sight. Noticeable now, and acting as a sort of replacement to the former, is the taste of melon, who acknowledges all before it and becomes influenced by them all. This gives the fruit a wildly intricate profile, but it loses its own personality in the process. Appearing next is a braiding of lemon and lime, though the latter is the easily the weakest of the already dismally feeble blend. The two intend to increase depth, and they do, but it's more in the sense of clutter than organized and organic additions. Overall, Talon's taste gives one's palate much to chew on, and while nothing involved is particularly original, the ever moving pace of the experience keeps you from ever being bored.

Each can contains: caffeine(172), taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, and a few B vitamins. The kick was rather typical, you know, the usual three hour buzz that we've all encountered so many times. In the end, Talon Energy isn't revolutionary, which is quite obvious considering how little it innovated, but it was wholly enjoyable.

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Team Realtree White Buck Energy Drink Review

2011-10-13T02:17:00.000-07:00

Team Realtree White Buck is my favourite of the line, at least from a visual standpoint. The snow camouflage influence is strong but thankfully not all too bad looking, with it differentiating greatly from other drinks. I must criticize the name "White Buck," however, as it really doesn't make a lot sense(but then again neither does the rest of it, at least initially). It's clearly present to signify a flavour, but unlike Blaze Orange, it's far too ambiguous to know without opening the can. Sure, it's likely to be vanilla, but it should be far more clear considering this is not the lines' only flavour.

I was right when I assumed the presence of vanilla, however here it's joined by all the workings of a second rate Red Bull clone. It's softly carbonated, which gives it an appreciated smoothness, and one of the few positives overall is how everything else involved respects this. There is a whole lot of sour apple being played with, battered around til it completely coats the mouth with it's stereotypical gumminess. It's also quite sweet, but it's the sickeningly relentless kind that dually bores and overwhelms our liking for sugariness. Expectedly the fruit isn't natural tasting, and at a time where freshly picked apples are so prevalent in my area, the artificiality is especially glaring. The aforementioned vanilla, however, isn't such an inorganic flavour, but this doesn't really matter considering its feeble strength compared to the autumn harvest. In the end, Team Realtree White Buck's taste is astonishingly pedestrian, and this is ever more unfortunate because it briefly showed promise of a rather good one.

Each can contains only caffeine, taurine, and a few B vitamins. I had a bit less than three hours of energy, with occasional jitters and no crash. Overall, Team Realtree White Buck's albino resealable can is cool, I guess, but that's about the only praise you're gonna get from me.

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Red Thunder Energy Shot Review

2011-10-11T01:50:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised to find myself liking Red Thunder Energy Shot's bottle. Compared to the past eight ounce variety that had used the same design, I can't denounce its small size, with two ounces being the usual here, although the name is ever still uninspired. But things must otherwise be tickling my fancy, because I'm willing to ignore the former and enjoy the capsule for what it is, and at times even more.

The label doesn't lie, with Red Thunder Energy Shot truly tasting of berry. It's consistently silky smooth and is wholly absent of any bitterness or even anything remotely caustic. Instead each sip advertises a great, albeit simple, cocktail of blueberry, raspberry, and grape, that's soured just under the point of puckering. Done through a blend of sucralose and ace-k, the sugariness is respectful of the fruits and how far their natural sweetness extends, and never does it lead onto that it's artificial, even if the flavours themselves do taste so. The three are equal in strength and are layered respectively, and although they don't demonstrate any honest authenticity, it's acceptable here as everything else is crafted so carefully and successfully. I'm not lauding this as the greatest tasting shot, though, but I am acclaiming the surprisingly balanced flavour that tries to give generic energy products a good name.

Each bottle contains: caffeine, taurine, various B vitamins, and guarana. It's a rather typical formulation for such a product, and thus the kick was also typical, and I had energy for perhaps two hours with no jitters or subsequent crash. All in all, Red Thunder Energy Shot is better than its eight ounce relative in every way possible.

Ed Hardy Pomegranate Energy Sticks Review

2011-10-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

The box pictured contains three Ed Hardy Pomegranate Energy Sticks, each of which contain eighty milligrams of caffeine. It's named after the famed tattoo artist, and so the visuals are expectantly great, bordering outstanding. It pronounces energy strongly without falling into cliche, outside the presence of animals, and for all its uniqueness it's worth forgiving the textual busyness.

Each sachet dispenses numerous coarse crumbs that are soft to the tongue but firm to the tooth. They taste of pomegranate, an initially successful flavour that's sweetened properly and has a slight sourness as well as a note of tartness. Both give the otherwise basic flavour some appreciated depth, though it remains nothing particularly impressive, and while the flavour won't be winning any awards, it's able to mask the bitterness of the caffeine with no following aftertaste. The saccharinity isn't exactly naturally derived, with it using sugar alcohol erythritol, but thankfully it doesn't explicitly taste so, as while there obviously isn't any real sugar, it functions ably enough that you don't ever notice so. Overall, Ed Hardy Pomegranate's flavour is decent, but becomes frustratingly boring after your first packet.

One pouch really only has eighty milligrams of caffeine and some B vitamins, which gives up to a two hour buzz. Another serving increases the kick to three plus hours in length, and yet another stirs up an hour more atop of that. In the end, Ed Hardy Pomegranate Energy Sticks' weakest element is its taste, which is unfortunate considering you must suffer through it to experience all the potency the product offers.

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Relentless Fire Energy Drink Review

2011-10-07T02:45:00.000-07:00

Relentless Fire's can is one of the most distinct on Big Lots' shelves, even if it struggles to emerge from its own clutter. The font is ever still difficult to read, and the myriad of text continues to distract from the otherwise elegant design. The supposed flavour is orange, if you look to the top of the can, but the bottom declares this as the "fire" variety, and so while flames are often the same colour as the fruit, it's both confusing and unnecessary for both mentions.

The first sip surprised me, however not in a breathtaking fashion, as while there definitely is much orange flavour to discuss, things are consistently tart and coarsely powdered. The fruit, which one could argue is more of a tangerine, initially displays no sense of artificiality, with it tasting only naturally sweet and indirectly robust to the tongue. Following is a steady increase of sweetness, a loose grain sugariness that smoothly but suddenly instills both a textural personality and a subsequent nectarous quality. And while the citrus is now greatly honeyed, it carries over its former authenticity and now is just a highly sweetened genuine flavour and not an imitation candy taste. But we do have to mention that the overall saccharinity, while it does a generally admiral job at its job, does leave behind a sticky syrupiness that's mild but continually cloying. It is not entirely detrimental to the experience, but it take my praise down a few notches.

Each can contains: caffeine(197mg), taurine, various B vitamins, inositol, and guarana. The cocktail provided four hours of energy, a kick that didn't provide any jitters. Overall, Relentless Fire doesn't break ground, but it's worth more than the seventy cents I paid.

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Hydrive Blue Raspberry Energy Drink Review

2011-10-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

Radiant blue colouring that doesn't entirely blur the fluid, Hydrive Blue Raspberry, also called S Formula, comes in a visually pleasant container. The darker hue of the aforementioned colour meshes well with both it and the occasionally used yellow, and the latter two really give the normally boring graphic, that houses the logo, some excitement and vibrancy.

Hydrive Blue Raspberry begins overtly sweet, but thankfully the flavour calls for and works well with the high sugariness. Initially bland, the liquid quickly becomes promptly tinted of the alleged flavour, and this complexion soon intensifies to a positive level. The saccharinity is lessened slightly with the introduction of the prior, but as the addition grows expeditiously, it births a distinct grainy characteristic. The blue raspberry is more candied than many previous fruits within the line have been, however the flavour still retains a decent degree of authenticity. Tartness, along with the oft mentioned sweetness, breath natural distinguishing into the raspberry, but with the unrefined texture following in sequence, the fruit gradually resembles cotton candy that's flavoured by the namesake taste. The latter section of the experience resists much depth and is wholly simple and one dimensional, however it's acceptable considering how cotton candy is on its own. Overall, with a flavour that cleanly and cleverly combined both authentic and honeyed tastes, Hydrive Blue Raspberry is an extremely enjoyable extension of an already enjoyable line.

The kick lasted two and a half hours, and there wasn't jitters felt during such time nor was their a subsequent crash. Each bottle contains: caffeine(145mg), taurine, ginkgo, L-carnitine, and several B vitamins. All in all, Hydrive Blue Raspberry does as much right as any within the line before it, but I'd personally rank this variety up with the best the company has put out.

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xenergy Fruit Punch Energy Drink Review

2011-10-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

This limited edition can isn't my favourite, with the fighter diminishing the actual logo of the line. It ends up feeling like he's the focus of the can, when in reality it's just an existing design that's been modified to fit around him. Thankfully though it utilizes black as its main colour, and fortunately everything isn't cluttered, but now I'm just scraping for any positives to save from the criticized.

There's a lot to like with each sip, with an outlining of tangerine and a filling of both cherry and cranberry. Each billow with their own distinct tartness, and the latter two also each disembogue a slight subjacent sourness. The two characteristics are potent but describe only their accompanied fruits, rather than aggregating and defining the general experience as one with no varying depth. Obscured advertisements of green grape and lime are tasted outside the the prior trilogy, but they're respectful and respected, and both add even more sour and tartness to play with. The sweetness is done well, tasting robust and properly honeying each fruit respectively, but you will never mistake this as honestly sugared. Overall, xenergy Fruit Punch is the best sugar free take on the flavour genre I've had in years.

Each can contains: caffeine(206mg), taurine, guarana, ginseng, and inositol. The energy blend is basic but productive, creating a four hour long buzz that's free of jitters. In the end, xenergy Fruit Punch does the line proud even if it doesn't do anything new.

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FMF Citrus Lemonade Energy Drink Review

2011-10-01T02:39:00.000-07:00

I enjoy the preference of yellow on the can to FMF Citrus Lemonade, opposed to the heavy likening of red of the previous variety, and though the difference doesn't result in me falling in love with the can, it certainly does standout more. And consistent with the former flavour, there isn't any enthusiasm about it being an energy drink, and it feels almost content with being rather boring.

The ice cold drink is flatly carbonated and wholly apathetic to the tongue. The redundant billing as "Citrus Lemonade" is true, with large declarations of orange and lemon, and humble mentions of guava, grapefruit, and mango. The latter three do not taste as exotic as they should, however all ignore the depth of the fruits they're based off of, but it's particularly unfortunate that the lemon isn't soured properly, considering it makes up a majority of the overall flavour. The orange hints towards resembling tangerine at times, though it never authentically resembles either. But most deplorable of all is the same subsequent bitterness found in the line's earlier variation. The sweetness isn't able to distract from this, nor is it really able to sugar the fruits properly, and although it really isn't a caustic or profound unpleasantness, it's the final nail in the flavour's coffin.

Each can contains: 240 milligrams of caffeine, green tea, ginseng, and vitamins B and C. The cocktail created a solid four hour buzz, and is easily the best aspect of the product. Overall, FMF Citrus Lemonade is a thorough improvement that still ends up being terrible.

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Bawls Guarana Exxtra Review

2011-09-29T02:59:00.000-07:00

By having light blue text, no visuals, and both clear glass and liquid, Bawls Guarana Exxtra isn't optically exciting or attention grabbing. It's a rather bland design that unfortunately keeps the flagon from exploiting its physical uniqueness, because the eyes are always too distracted by the boring appearance.

None of the sips render much pleasure, as they, like its bottle, are wholly insipid. Sure, there is the slightest mention of the vanilla, but unlike the acclaimed original variety, there is no succulent richness or detailed profile. There's also an inexact representation of kiwi who's positioned kindred to a vapid description of strawberry, and both are impotent and watery. They don't actually taste synthetic, but they expectedly ignore their natural peculiarities, which results in them not being proper portrayals. The saccharinity is achieved via sucralose and ace-k, normally an outstanding imitation blend, but here they're ineffectual at properly sugaring each individual flavour. It's not to suggest that it tastes very artificial, which it impressively does not, but it's unfortunately surprising when the actual fruits are far sweeter than flavours in a soft drink. Overall, Bawls Guarana Exxtra is extraordinarily bland and disappointingly so.

Ninety six milligrams of caffeine and guarana can only create so strong of a buzz, but then again why bring this up if this isn't an energy drink? All in all, while Bawls Guarana Exxtra has the highest caffeine content of the line, it isn't worth suffering through the monotonous flavour for.

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Kronik Low Carb Blue Citrus Review

2011-09-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

Replacing the main colour with silver is common for sugar free energy drinks, and Kronik Low Carb Blue Citrus works this typicality extremely well. The blue would look inappropriate in combination with the former and the meager usage of black, if largely used, but since it's featured sparingly, it prefers to complement instead of clash. And actually, the multitude of colours is balanced and honestly appealing, and it ends up being more visually attractive than its sugared brother.

Mango is a prolific example of the general flavour, though it's muffled majorly and is more artificial than palatably pleasing. Grapefruit adorns the antecedent though it too is spayed of it's authenticity and tastes suppressed of the anticipated crispness. They invalidate any tartness, sourness, and really any sort of vibrancy from relieving the two from their ever constant state of boredom. Neither fruits inherently require a pronounced sweetness, especially with their numb representation of their nature inspiration, which thankfully prevents the exclusive exercising of synthetic sugars from ever really tasting improperly done. This doesn't, however, keep the counterfeit honey from leaving a rather thick aftertaste, and with the actual flavourings being stupidly mild, it becomes an unnecessarily enunciated feature of the experience. Overall, though it isn't abhorrent or anything, Kronik Low Carb Blue Citrus just doesn't taste very good, but in its defense, it really didn't have a good flavour to interpret.

Each can contains: various vitamins of either B or C, caffeine(150mg), taurine, guarana, ginseng, and ginkgo. The prior ingredients kicked me decently for above two hours, and while the myriad of different ingredients was impressive, the amount of each wasn't anything special. In the end, the original Kronik Blue Citrus wasn't very good, and neither is the sugar free variety.

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X Games Energy Drink Review

2011-09-25T01:29:00.000-07:00

Never being big into extreme sports, or really sports in general, I'm clearly not part of X Games Energy's rather niche audience, and as an outsider I can confidently say that its can doesn't appeal beyond its immediate consumers. At least half of its real estate is donated to the unprepossessing bare aluminum colour, even if it doesn't look all too bad next to the bright red, and it gives no visual reason to pick this over any other on the shelf. And then there's its name, and although it's a seemingly trivial complaint, it ends up being sort of awkward to speak thanks to the plural middle word, which leads uncomfortably to the next.

Wild Berry is the promise but it is a broken one, as X Games Energy has far more in common with Red Bull. Sure, there is actually some almost liberal detailing of the stipulated, which tastes namely of cherry and raspberry, but they're soured unevenly to the point where it's the drink's dominating aspect. Preceding is a simple layer gummy apple, a flavour that, while actually complementing the two subsequent, isn't ever actually tasted collaboratively with them. But touched upon even before that is the ascorbic and citric acid foundation, to whom gives the aforementioned its strongest likening to the still popular eight ounce drink. The experience isn't exactly sweet, at least it's kept from being overly so, and while everything before is sugared suitably, there is a bitter approximation that materializes nether to all before and extends as the product's only aftertaste. It's chiefly a pedestrian flavour, one that did not and should not have been so.

Each can contains: caffeine, guarana, ginkgo, ginseng, vitamin B, and one or two electrolytes. This isn't at all an exciting brew of ingredients, resulting in a lackluster two plus hour buzz. Overall, there's nothing honestly impressive here, so move along people until something of quality becomes available.

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red rain Downpour Energy Drink Review

2011-09-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

Downpour comes in a green can, which isn't what's suggested by its name red rain, which is exactly why you shouldn't brand anything after a colour. Sure, it made sense to years ago when Red Bull was the definitive energy drink, but when you want to expand your product offerings, you're limited to just using the same colour or you risk looking stupid, which is what we have here. It doesn't help that the can itself isn't attractive, with far too much text choking the lower half, and as with the previous varieties, there doesn't seem to be any purpose in using the word "rain." Descending water droplets typically makes one lethargic and drained of energy, which is exactly what these drinks are supposed to prevent.

red rain Downpour has a rather subdued flavour that doesn't assault your palate, but opts to instead mildly pass it by without much interaction. There is surely lime and cherry to taste, but their decrepitude prevents them from tasting ripe, or from ever evolving into a state of the such. There is only the slightest susurration of sourness, which creates an incurable falseness to the fruits, both of whom crave generous helpings of the embellishment. There's an effervescence that's certainly fizzy to the ear, but not exactly bubbly to the tongue, which gives the experience a melancholy flatness. If there was something to praise, it's most definitely the saccharinity, one that gives HFCS a good name by never being syrupy, cloying, and by being conceivably the most creditable characteristic.

Ingredients include: caffeine(142mg), taurine, inositol, and an assortment of B vitamins. The cocktail didn't stir up anything special, with the kick lasting only about two and a half hours, and the sixty grams of sugar likely had something to do with the mild jitters. What it all comes down to is that red rain Downpour doesn't receive praise because it doesn't demand it of itself. It unwisely accepts its mediocrity and disseminates the feeling that it just doesn't care.

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Big RedJak Energy Drink Review

2011-09-21T03:35:00.000-07:00

Big RedJak used to come in a much different can, and while the original design certainly had its creativity, the elegance and sophistication of it currently is certainly more enjoyable. Unlike many there isn't any juvenile humour, but perhaps better yet is how it doesn't attempt to appear hardcore, or strive to fit in with an intimidating name or design. It's sleek and knows it, and knows people will pleasure this refreshing change of pace.

Big RedJak's taste is rather unexpected, considering its name contains the cliche word "red." It's initially heavy laden with blue raspberry, one that's noticed throughout each sip for its entire duration, and the flavour is much like how it's always represented; simple, sweet, and sour. And while the latter two are both acutely delineated, the sourness is particularly penetrating, which unlike sweetness is not something we're used to experiencing. The acerbity is almost, if not already, overpowering, with it obscuring not only the aforementioned flavour but also any subsequent, namely the mild tastes of red raspberry and vanilla. The first seems to coyly deepen the general berry sapor, however indistinct it may actually be, and the second appears to publish a pittance of cream that's appreciated by the acidulousness. Overall, Big RedJak doesn't taste as good as it should, even if it isn't all that bad.

Each can contains: caffeine(164mg), inositol, a few B vitamins, taurine, and ginseng. The three hour buzz wasn't anything special, but there was the pleasing absence of jitters or following crash. All in all, Big RedJak doesn't ever offend, but it never really impresses either.

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Monster M-3 Energy Drink Review

2011-09-19T01:21:00.000-07:00

Monster M-3 is yet another imprudent extension put out by the company, one who's always trying to concoct the next big thing. But their releases are instead frequently redundant, if not pointless, and it doesn't feel as this variety is to escape that fate. Its bottle, on the other hand, is actually quite fascinating, with its glass fabrication and petite size really making it stand out amongst its peers. But only adding to the many examples of their temerarious decisions, the pry off only cap limits not only its mobility, but also itself to those old enough to have a bottle opener easily accessible.

Demonstrated is the recognized taste of a mucilaginous vanilla, who's entirely inept and moronically rudimentary. Wholly ignoring the former is the blunt depiction of a routine apple, who resembles a sort of prosaic pineapple if only for its sharpness. It lacks either a frank tart or sourness and really doesn't taste any bit natural like it should, and the fatiguing sweetness gives it an overpowering candied quality. It's thankfully an impressive sweetness, at least it is initially, being a mix of both real and artificial sugars, and it flaunts decent robustness thanks to the generous thirteen grams of sucrose and glucose. But it lamentably grows tiresome, with the slightly thickened fluid densely coating your mouth to the point of sheer excess. But what is positive throughout is the product's carbonation, which is done via nitrous, and it really smooths out each sip. This makes the bantam five ounces go down with incredible ease, even with all the former dissonance, but this single favourable characteristic isn't enough to give it even the slightest recommendation.

Each bottle contains: caffeine(160mg), taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, and a variety of B vitamins. There isn't much to say about the potency, with the three and a half hour kick being on par with just about any to be adorned by the trademark logo, but it was activated much quicker. Overall, Monster M-3's gimmick of being the middle ground between a shot and an actual drink isn't explained very well, thus it isn't exploited to its fullest potential. That's to say it has any potential.

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Kymera Freakish Energy Shot Review

2011-09-17T02:16:00.000-07:00

Kymera Freakish Energy Shot is a unique product because you're able to purchase a bulk like quantity in a physical package not too unlike boxed wine. It contains 102 servings, and the recommended amount of one ounce is shown in the plastic bottle, which is sold alongside. The box has a lot of real estate to work with, and the art and text organization is visually enjoyable, but the corrugated cardboard container doesn't wholly explain what exactly potential costumers would be buying into. But this provokes natural curiosity, and they're sure to proceed with closer inspection, which is likely to answer their questions.

The lower right hand corner of the carton tells the truth, as there is some melon to taste, particularly watermelon, but also honeydew. They're both saccharine and while not cloyingly so, it is enough to candy the pair. Following is a censored cry of sapid tangerine, who is jovial but a bit too sweet. And this hyper sugariness does become a bit of an issue, with it vociferating an immediate astringent aftertaste if it's the least bit warm. There is a faint remark of cherry, as well as a bated exclamation of cranberry, and these dull declarations balance out and deepen the profile of the better defined citrus. The hushed dyad provides a slight tartness, the only to be found in the experience, which helps distract from the aforementioned pungent roar. Overall, Kymera Freakish Energy Shot's taste is a sort of interesting fruit punch that wouldn't be all too bad as a full sized drink.

Each ounce serving contains 162.5 milligrams of caffeine, an impressive amount for such a petite size. There are also a few B vitamins, as well as some other stuff, but I've already listed all I really care about. The kick lasts about three and a half hours, if not four, with no crash, but you should be weary of the possibility of slight jitters. In the end, Kymera Freakish Energy Shot's creative presentation leads to a consistently impressive product.

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Spider Widow Maker Energy Drink Review

2011-09-15T02:41:00.000-07:00

Spider Widow Maker's near excessive use of purplish pink keeps it from hitting all the right notes. Sure, it looks great off of the grim blackness, and it's wholly appropriate with the eight legged critter theme, but there is a bit too much of it, with even the newly implemented "$.99" insignia being encircled in the colour. But at least things do not appear cluttered, with the design being as clean as it ever, even with several new textual additions.

The flavour uses a sort of pomegranate base that's topped off with acai, who isn't bothered with enough silly details to match either whole naturalness or complete candying. We're instead presented this sort of cross of the two, with it depicting great robustness while being ever still nectarous. But the four lettered fruit isn't absent of an indirect blueberry suggestion that's analogously stalwart but unequally exotic. The aforementioned foundation is detailed more consistently, with it never achieving authenticity but never attempting to do so. It too is melliferous and proud of it, and shows influences of both strawberry and blue raspberry. Both thrive within the empty carbohydrates, though the former particularly proliferates because of its inexpert simplicity. Overall, Spider Widow Maker's taste is successful because the saccharinity livens the fruits so you notice them and never the actual sweetness.

The ingredient cocktail is listed explicitly, with all the amounts of everything involved cleanly stated: caffeine(240mg), taurine, various B vitamins, guarana, L-carnitine, and ginseng. The buzz lasted a tad longer than four hours, and it did call for some jitters. All in all, Widow Maker is a pleasing and logical extension of the line.

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UpCake Energy Brownie Review

2011-09-13T01:17:00.000-07:00

Though I get many products sent to me, this caffeinated treat cost me $3.49, which is rather expensive even with all its novelty. But the UpCake Energy Brownie shows signs of problem almost immediately with its name. Yes, it's a clever pun on "cupcake," but any baker will tell you cakes and brownies are not as closely related as the packaging seems to think. They are very much similar, and you'd be correct to hail brownies as denser versions of the other, but the general consensus is that they're not the same, and that makes the packaging confusing. The label is decent, though, with it thriving wildly within the confines of its gimmick, and the actual idea is sort neat, with it combining consumer's daily sweet treat and coffee into one convenient product.

The gritty texture of this dry confection is much like those terrible over cooked, cake-like brownies that someone who can't bake baked. They crumble with no satisfaction in the mouth, and there are coarse crumbs left behind on whatever you eat it off of. The flavour is poorly based on the more complex work of chocolate, and here it is cheap and bitter to the tongue. The mordant presence of sugar should at least alleviate some of the latter, but it's an inadequate sweetness that doesn't care if anything in the experience works. Each bite is grainy and bland, and the raw cocoa powder aftertaste is rather mild but ever unpleasant, and this isn't even censored by the cloying sugariness. The brown pastry traditionally requires some type of fat, but the hydrogenated oils utilized do not give the confiture the desired buttery consistency, either in taste or mouthfeel, and while cake-like brownies would not have a fudgy viscosity, there should at least be a lardaceous and dense flavor profile. Nothing works together here, everything operates separately, and overall, UpCake Energy Brownies wouldn't be so bad if my expectations of caffeinated desserts hadn't been set so high by products like Mocca Mallows.

300 milligrams of caffeine does the kicking around here, and unlike everything else, it does its job well. It lasted a cool five hours, complete with mild jitters and a slight crash. Overall, UpCake Energy Brownies are a clumsily executed disappointment.

rip it Le Moan'R Energy Drink Review

2011-09-11T03:39:00.000-07:00

By using pink and yellow, rip it Le Moan'R should immediately signal the consumer of the supposed raspberry lemonade flavour. But it doesn't do this, namely because we're not used to identifying those flavours with these colours, even if it sounds like we should. If it was just pink or just yellow, then we would unconsciously establish them with the either raspberry or lemon and there wouldn't be a problem, but it's by uniting the two that causes misfortune. Once you read the text subjacent to the fruits, however, you do recognize their intentions, but only until then.

The first sip exposes the experience's continually rasping carbonation, but it is never a sort of vitriolic effervescence. There certainly is a good amount of raspberry to savour, and it's a pleasantly sweet taste that thankfully isn't relentlessly sugary. There still is a lot of the it, but not so much that it resembles something of a candy. The fruit doesn't show much other than a balanced saccharinity, but there is the slight sourness of the expected subsequent lemon. The citrus is just as nectarous as the preceding, but it is despairingly far less noticeable, and gets lost within the maze of carbon dioxide bubbles. But the raspberry does appear to adopt the slight sourness brought about by the unremembered lemon, and it gives the fruit some much coveted complexity even if it is a glaringly inorganic pairing. Because of this, rip it Le Moan'R depicts a sort of unevenness that is as if the flavour wasn't carefully formulated, and I do fear that this was the case.

The kick is easily the drink's highlight, with it lasting an impressive four and a half hours. Each can contains: caffeine(204mg), taurine, inositol, various B vitamins, vitamin C, and guarana. In the end, rip it Le Moan'R is an inconsistent energy drink that fails to live up to standards set by the first few of the line.

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Fikks Energy Drink Review

2011-09-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

Fikks is one of the stranger names for an energy drink I've seen recently, and it honestly doesn't make much sense, at least to someone who doesn't care enough to delve into the reasons behind their odd choice. Its can, though, is not half bad, other than the stupidly small size, with the blue and white colour scheme looking quite appealing. And while there is certainly some text to read, the respectful organization keeps it from being distracted or distracting.

Well, the flavour is disgustingly inspired by Red Bull, and by saying that, it isn't to insinuate that the actual flavour is vile, but that it's real disappointing that yet another drink succumbed to the unfortunate easy way out. There is a large amount of vanilla to taste, and it demonstrates a rather impressive creaminess that is not unlike a good cream soda. It's sweetened appropriately and the HFCS don't give it a syrupy attribute, though it does become a bit much as sips progress. There's a secondary flavour, which is expectedly of apple, and the strength of its sourness is grander than that of the fruit itself. The overall taste is a familiar one, almost sickeningly so, but within the confines that it locked itself into, it honestly isn't all too bad of one. There isn't any creativity to be found, but one never expects that from such drinks, but we do anticipate garbage, which we surprisingly and thankfully never experience.

Each can contains: caffeine(seventy five milligrams), several B vitamins, taurine, inositol, and ginseng. The buzz was weak, less than two hours worth, and understandably given the feeble ingredient cocktail and the small size. All in all, Fikks is a stock energy drink, one that doesn't find a personality or even try to, but it isn't an absolute disaster, at least in the sense that finishing the can wasn't difficult.

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Bawls Guarana Geek Beer Review

2011-09-07T02:43:00.000-07:00

Bawls Geek Beer's appearance is easily the best of the line, with the brownness of the actual bottle not only bridging a visual connection to root beers, but to real beer. The rather clever name, using leet speak, also immediately grabs the attention of who it wants, but it does this without sacrificing the general population, and it's this balance between niche and marketability that makes it perhaps the companies most focused product, at least optically.

Utilizing one of my favourite soda flavours, Geek Beer tastes much like any mass produced brand. There is a strong artificial sassafras depiction that's rough but appropriately so, and it's adjacent to an equally sham vanilla. The latter presents a good level of creaminess that, while itself is equivalently counterfeit, saturates the experience with characteristics that are natural to the flavour genre it belongs to, but what really exaggerates this is the bite, which here is done adequately. Underlying spices, such as cinnamon and nutmeg, are easy to notice, but there is also notes of birch bark and wintergreen to give the piquancy its complexity. The latter of the two, however, seems to broaden the taste of the former, albeit mildly, and now there are essentially two separate soda flavours coexisting, but their inherited and undeniable similarities gives the leveled dyad a complementing sense of fluidity. The intricacy is further deepened by the crisp citrus demonstration from the guarana, and although this fruitiness is indistinct, it isn't exactly utilized or intended to be anything else but something that enriches indirectly. Overall, there's a complex flavour here, yes, but the soda calls for this by nature, and Geek Beer never exactly thinks outside the box.

Much like all varieties before it, there isn't much energy, but since it isn't expected nor is it intended, there really isn't much else for me to say. Overall, Bawls Guarana Geek Beer isn't anything particularly interesting for the soda it's based off, other than being one of the very few caffeinated root beers.

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FMF Power Fruit Punch Energy Drink Review

2011-09-05T02:12:00.001-07:00

FMF Power Fruit Punch's can doesn't do it for me, though the resealable cap is a wonderful inclusion. The rather boring design is the reason behind my disliking, as while there's quite a lot going on, there isn't anything interesting. Nothing conveys a sense of excitement or energy, and speaking of which, the can doesn't explicitly say that it is an energy drink, though there is a small mentioning in the left of the picture. What is bluntly spoken is the word "power," which isn't the same as the aforementioned, though this confusion does distracts from its humdrum appearance.

The flavour is, well, it's a bland muddling of indistinct fruits, with a mild but ever still unpleasant bitterness following. There's enough evidence of lime and guava, however neither display careful construction, and neither have even an ounce of authenticity to them. Both green apple and cherry can also be picked out of the constant insipidness, albeit barely, and they too are disrespectful interpretations. Zero of these four ever show signs of tanginess, and though there is fifty grams of sugar, none of them taste properly saccharine. It's a slightly grainy and relatively syrupy sweetness, but these textural properties provide relief from the uniform vapidness. Following is the aforesaid bitterness, and it's a sort of organic brackishness that is probably caused, at least partially, by the green tea and yerba mate used for supplement purposes. Overall, FMF Power Fruit Punch is surprisingly and unfortunately poor tasting.

After all that negativity, the kick is actually quite good, with it lasting a jittery four plus hours. Each can contains: ginseng, caffeine(240mg), various B vitamins, and vitamin C. In the end, FMF Power Fruit Punch's potency isn't impressive enough to forgive all that it did crudely.

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Wired Diet X B12 Rush Energy Drink Review

2011-09-03T02:27:00.000-07:00

Wired Diet X B12 Rush doesn't make a good first impression for several reasons, but namely it's the name. It's long, choppy, and doesn't really make all too much sense, given using vitamin B12 as a selling point is entirely pointless, as your body just flushes out any unneeded amount through your urine. It's can, however, isn't as problematic as its name, but it still isn't anything to get excited about. The white symbolizes its lack of sugar, and the thin lacing of green does look rather good, but one does wish for more of it, and explicit word "diet" isn't normally used on energy drinks for a reason, and that's to keep stereotypical men from avoiding the product because they still associate the word with the opposite sex and/or with actual dieting.

The taste is initially lost within the walls of harsh carbonation, and as the punishing bubbles subside, the bland outlining of cheap citrus comes to attention. Lemon is noticed, but it's such a rough sketch of the oft zested fruit that its presence isn't appreciated. There is also a slight mentioning of lime, but it's just as an inept of a detailing as was its yellow sibling. Grapefruit then appears, and its natural mildness makes one not surprised with its etiolated existence, and as your palate remembers Fresca and Squirt because of the just prior, a bit of sourness dilates, and this bridges the near closure with the much earlier lemon and lime. It gives the experience the pleasing sense that what was begun is now closed; an organized sense of completion. Overall, Wired Diet X B12 Rush's taste is boring, and the sixteen ounces begins to become a chore on account of how uninteresting each sip is.

Ninety four milligrams of caffeine isn't anywhere impressive for a drink this size, and while there is also taurine, inositol, and obviously B vitamins to boot, the energy forerunner's meager quantity is lamentably low. All in all, Wired Diet X B12 Rush is drinks like an off brand soda, and kicks like an eight ounce energy drink.

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Relentless Original Energy Drink Review

2011-09-01T02:32:00.000-07:00

Relentless comes in a can where its greatest distinction is also its greatest flaw, which is of course the font used for the logo. One must put quite some effort into reading it, which is wholly unnecessary, but at the same time the writing is so unusually sophisticated that one can't help but want to spend a little more time focusing on it. There is also some unproductive cluttering below the adulterate text that, in combination with the latter, makes the can lean more towards the overall side of unfortunate congestion than the intended elegance.

Relentless' taste is far more original than the can suggested, as the sub name almost universally means something of a Red Bull clone, which the flavour cleverly avoids but vaguely mentions. There's a great deal of sourness initially, with a hollow elaboration on a six note blend of fruits, with unfocused and vapid notes of vanilla being located beneath the prior. Blackberry and raspberry are probably the easiest to notice, even though the two taste nearly as one, with only a slight difference in how strongly they pressure tartness onto the experience. The two fruits, however, are religiously shadowed by the empty taste of blueberry, with it not displaying any of the expected robustness, and it forever wanting to be integrated with the antecedent blend, but it instead can only taste indistinctly behind. Both guava and passion fruit innuendos follow, and their natural exoticism imbues pleasant phantasmagorical characteristics, how ever mild they might actually be. Lastly is the taste of lemon, who seems to close each sip with the taste of familiar citrus, and itself has only the slightest suggestion of individuality, on account of the oft mention extreme temperance of the flavour as a whole. Overall, the breathtaking, or dare I say relentless, speed that fruits are introduced then discontinued disallows the palate the chance to identify their imperfections, or to become at all uninterested during any of the many sips offered.

The kick was four hours in length, and of solid strength, however there were jitters to experience. Each can contains: taurine, caffeine(197mg), a few B vitamins, and guarana. Overall, Relentless Original can surprisingly be described accurately by both of what makes up its name.

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Firestar Cola Energy Powder Review

2011-08-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

In addition to being their most unique offering, Firestar Cola is easily the best looking of any in the line. The black and red colour combination is naturally appealing as well as being well suited for anything energy related, and the design's flames really pop compared to previous varieties.

The flavour begins sweetly acidic, with deep notes of citrus, cinnamon, and vanilla, all binded to create a familiar cola taste. The fruit implications are of lemon, orange, and lime, and although none of the three are explicit flavourings, their slight strength differences are represented by their respected order. The prior trilogy are all connotations however, so don't go anticipating anything in the sense of sour or tartness. There are some hints of clove subjacent to the former spice, and while only a suggestion, it provides such laudable depth to the aforementioned. The vanilla is authentic and imbues excellent creaminess, though it isn't displayed comparably to cream soda. What is perhaps the experiences best characteristic is how well everything tastes with such a frank saccharinity, as while each aspect is exceedingly sugary, nothing ever feels unpleasantly or inorganically so. Overall, Firestar Cola's flavour is how one imagines any such soda would taste had it been boiled down into a powder.

Lamentably so, there is only about half the caffeine of previous varieties, which in turn only provides a two hour or so long buzz. In the end, Firestar Cola, outside the unimpressive kick, leaves me with great excitement for more soda inspired flavours from the, or really any, company.

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Go Girl Lemon Drop Energy Drink Review

2011-08-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

Go Girl Lemon Drop may be the second feminine drink to be reviewed in a row, but it tries its hardest to look different. The black is such a stark comparison to the pink of similarly themed drinks, and it also doesn't exclude males with its appearance. The yellow really pops off of the aforementioned background, and the minor design, consisting of mostly spirals, gives enough visual detail. The lower section of the can, however, gets a bit busy, as the three angled statements below the logo shouldn't be so large. They should all vary in size, at least slightly, and they should not be so close together.

The flavour is rather familiar, though that isn't surprising with one that has written so many reviews. The non carbonated fluid tastes sharply of lemon, and for the lack of any actual juice, there is a laudable authenticity to it, complete with faux pulp that gives the fizzless liquid some textural interest. That's not to insinuate that it will fool anyone for being genuine, as it certainly won't, but the experience does try and to some success, well, to about as much success as any big name canned lemonade. There is just the right amount of sourness for the involved fruit, and although its sweetness isn't to the desired strength, the fact of being sugar free allowed for this being almost expected. There is even a sort of a slight tartness to taste, and while it's rather trivial in terms strength, the depth it provides helps the fruit to achieve even more imitation naturalness. Overall, Go Girl Lemon Drop is better tasting than either Monster's or Rockstar's recovery offerings, even if this isn't in that category.

Caffeine(100mg), taurine, inositol, and several B vitamins can only provide a buzz so strong; one that lasts a bit less than two hours. All in all, Go Girl Lemon Drop is all around pleasant even if it isn't all around successful.

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Hot Pure Energy Drink Review

2011-08-26T02:15:00.000-07:00

Hot Pure Energy grabs your attention, certainly, but it doesn't try to be visually appealing. The pink colour is stark, but the design itself is relentlessly inconsistent and doesn't ever do anything interesting once it has your eye's attention. Perhaps the foreign writing, or symbols or whatever they are, will seduce someone, or gosh forbid an entire demographic, and maybe there are folks that will appreciate the can for what it is, but I can't, and can only criticize it for the same reason.

The flavour plays with red raspberry mostly, or at least initially, and it's pleasingly sour and candied. The two latter elements give the fruit attributes that are distracting from the inane representation, but more importantly from the nugatory sweetness that discharges a slight aftertaste. Following is a bit of an indirect ginger that imbues partial spice intricacy into the experience, and there is also a braiding of blue raspberry and strawberry to taste. And although neither of the two fruits are anywhere near complex, they both further complicate a seemingly simple affair, and they continue to divert from any blemishes brought about by the artificial sweeteners or by the antecedent flavours. Now, most of these "feminine drinks" are molded vaguely similarly, so Hot Pure Energy's flavour isn't exactly anything new even if it's rather well done.

The kick was rather tame, in terms of strength, and length wise it only lasted about two hours, if that. Each can contains: caffeine, taurine, various B vitamins, inositol, and D-ribose. Overall, Hot Pure Energy tastes good, but not good enough for one to forgive the vexatious can and rudimentary buzz.

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Rip It Red Zone Energy Drink Review

2011-08-24T02:57:00.000-07:00

Rip It Red Zone looked great as a twenty ounce bottle, a two ounce shot, and it looks just as good as a sixteen ounce can. Other than the silver "X" pattern, the single red colouring makes the beverage as sleek and sophisticated as the visual best of the line, even if some are certainly more appealing. Adversely, the previously praised could falsely promise inattentive consumers of a cherry refreshment, where as this is one of those rare strawberry drinks.

Far more focused than many before it, Red Zone illustrates the suggested fruit sweetly and playfully. The strawberry is candied strongly but each sip isn't overly sweet or syrupy, and though it lacks any of its organic characteristics, your childish tongue will certainly pleasure the balanced nature. The actual flavour, however, isn't as potent as you would expect, and actually it is surprisingly mild, but it inheritability must be so, considering it could quickly become too much. Nether to the strawberry patch of the experience lies a cherry taste that depicts some sense of authenticity, especially compared to the former. It isn't exactly a distinct taste, nor are the detailing idiosyncrasies, but its enervated grainy tartness gives the flavour body some depth. Overall, Rip It Red Zone's taste is a bit simpler than it was in shot form, but it is a bit more enjoyable.

Each can contains: caffeine(170mg), taurine, guarana, inositol, various B vitamins, and vitamin C. The kick lasted three plus hours with no crash or jitters, so in other words it's a rather typical buzz. In the end, Rip It Red Zone isn't among their best, but it is sure to find its audience.

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Celsius Peach Mango Energy Green Tea Review

2011-08-22T01:54:00.000-07:00

Celsius Peach Mango isn't any better to the eye than any variety that precedes it, even though the design has again since been reorganized. It looks still congested with needless, or at least confusing text, and the 200 milligrams of caffeine continues to go without proper recognition. Sure, it reads "lasting energy," but the potency of the drink is rather impressive, and it's unfortunate that they do not suitably proclaim their feat.

The slimy textured fluid tastes lightly of both peach and mango, and while initially a bit stronger, it is only mildly tinted of green tea. It all works, at first, given each sip is easy and becomes more pleasurable as you become aware as to what to expect. The peach and the mango tastes are only one dimensional depictions, though, but their elementary descriptions eventually become more noticeable than the currently ever weakening green tea. Now however, with the latter greatly obscuring, the ineptitude of the remaining flavours becomes ever too glaring, especially with the lack of any appropriate characteristics. To obtain its status as low calorie, sucralose is utilized and to positive effect, or it at least does not further the primitiveness of the experience. Overall, it's not to hail Celsius Peach Mango Green Tea as savourless, but you will look forward to your last sip.

200 milligrams of caffeine seems to provide a four hour kick by default. Other ingredients include: taurine, B vitamins, guarana, and vitamin C. All in all, Celsius Peach Mango Green Tea is one of the weaker entries in the line, something that hasn't been very strong otherwise.

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Wired Waffles Review

2011-08-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

You'd be lying to say that Wired Waffles do not grab your attention; it's a flippin' caffeinated waffle for Heaven's sake! And while this hopefully inspires more uniqueness in the energy product market, let us momentarily suspend our curiosity and critique its physical appearance. It certainly does look like what it is supposed to, with deep bores to capture butter and syrup, and the imperfectness of the shape gives it a welcome homey feel that is sure to return memories of eating the such as a kid.

Frozen and then reheated, the first bite to Wired Waffles is an domestic struggle between the crunchy coating and the interior vaporous batter. But this shell, which is crystallized sugar that develops a distinguished brittle firmness, is a wonderful complement to the internal fluffiness. The flavour has a surprising sweetness that isn't superficial, as the sugariness is tasted in both the outward case and the within pillows of cooked dough. Maple syrup was generously applied to half of the Liège-style waffle, of course pure grade B, and the tree nectar is eventually nearly absorbed, and though the breakfast staple loses some of its aforementioned crispness, the often imitated sacchariferous topping imbues a rich depth into the already saccharine treat. Overall, Wired Waffles taste far better than either the usual frozen waffle or one made with a box mix.

To my knowledge the only energy ingredient is 200 milligrams of caffeine, but hey, how could one complain about that? The kick caused some jitters and lasted a solid four hours, which is the typical length of the amount contained. Overall, in the strict sense of a waffle, Wired Waffles are not exactly anything special, but it's as an energy product where the creativity and consistent quality shine.

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Red Thunder Energy Drink Review

2011-08-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

Red Thunder is another one of the several energy drinks Aldi sells exclusively, and where Gridlock, or at least its can, took inspiration from Monster, this can takes one too many cues from Red Bull, and adverse side effects follow. A biggie is the small can size, as these eight ounce beverages, as well as the choice to do so, really should be extinct by now. The name is another obvious example of the product's low creativity, but since this is Red "Thunder," it makes you wonder why one there's lightning, even though the two are intimate, and two why the can is mostly blue. Sure, there are two references of namesake colour, but it seems almost contradictory to demonstrate blue more frequently. But you know what though, my ramblings are pointless, especially since no one, not even the drink itself, will likely take it seriously.

By the colour of the fluid itself, a more proper name would be Golden Thunder, which isn't any less stupid then the one chosen. For flavouring, there seems to be a strong liking for sour apple, with no particular variety apparent, and the emphasis on the former is surprisingly intense. It isn't quite enough to rival citric acid heavy candies, but there is certainly a slight puckering, or at least initially, and it really distracts you from ever really noticing the otherwise deeply unoriginal flavour. Vanilla isn't particularly involved like it sometimes is with such drinks, and actually the only flavour depiction is of the aforementioned, and unfortunately what is exhibited here is a poor expression of the fruit. The powerful sourness, however, does distract from the antecedent's general elementariness, and the small size keeps one from ever having adequate time to look beyond. So I guess Red Thunder's taste is getting a recommendation, a slight one though, and it really only is to be bought over products with a known similar taste.

Each can contains: caffeine, taurine, inositol, and various B vitamins, and the kick was nothing better than what was expected. It lasted for under two hours, free of jitters, and there wasn't any crash. In the end, Red Thunder is purely a budget Red Bull for those on one, and only in that context is it successful.

Bawls Guarana Caffeinated Soda Review

2011-08-16T01:40:00.000-07:00

What exactly is Bawls? Well, it's a highly caffeinated premium beverage that's much alike those generally unsuccessful energy sodas that were experimented with a few years ago, though the blue drink has survived much longer than Mtn Dew MDX did. It comes in a rather attractive glass bottle, aiding in the aforementioned distinguishing superiority, and it smartly avoids congestion, which is the thing I most often criticize about a product's appearance.

The first sip was agreeably pleasing and surprisingly rich, if not creamy to taste. But that isn't to insinuate the presence of dairy or something, but rather that the fluid's smoothness is so laudable that it begins to positively resemble that of fatty milk. The flavour, however, is much of vanilla, which benefits hugely from the just prior, but the second most expensive spice isn't the only thing greeting your taste buds. There is a miscellany of fruits to note, with lemon and lime being prominent but not dominating. White grape, strawberry, and kiwi are transiently communicated with and their discussions bring depth even though their mentions are exceptionally mild, if not merely suggestions, even when compared to the already feeble binary of citruses. The general sugariness isn't syrupy despite the generous use of HFCS, and impressively the experience is never too sacchariferous. The flavour closes with an equally enjoyable bite of cloves and the sweet pungency of nutmeg, and although neither are at all distinct, they do ingrain redolent piquancy into the experience. Overall, Bawls Guarana tastes much of the latter of its name, but partially in addition to the nontraditional manipulations of the otherwise average fruits and flavours.

There is guarana and sixty four milligrams of caffeine powering each bottle, which honestly but expectedly isn't comparable to your typical energy drink. That can't be used against them, though, as it never claims to be one, so if compared to your typical Mountain "style" soda, then it is quite a bit stronger. All in all, Bawls Guarana has a bit of an identity crisis, being caught behind energy drinks in terms of potency while also costing more than your usual caffeinated soda, but it doesn't change that its trademark yet niche taste is hugely likeable.

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Firestar Cherry Energy Powder Review

2011-08-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

The pinkish hue of the package is certainly appropriate for the supposed cherry flavour, and while I was initially to object the using such a colour, it quickly grew on me, considering how well they utilized it. The deep suggestion of red in the aforementioned chooses not to allow the pink to mandate who the target audience is, though it does definitely insinuate towards one gender. But the success is found in that it balances stereotypically appealing to one sex, while not totally losing the other by being too feminine.

The recognized maraschino cherry is so obviously sweet, and I say that given that the first ingredient is sugar, but it doesn't ever appear to be fully realized, as although it strives for more of a candied interpretation, the taste is ever so simple and almost stupidly so. It would have absolutely been preferred that they attempt to mimic a more difficult variety, something with tartness, sourness, or something, but while there isn't any complexity in the fruit's personality, and though it's about as bare bones of an explanation of the flavour genre as possible, it thankfully isn't all that the experience has to offer. Much like the previously variety, there is a fairly strong depiction of spearmint, that here, is surprisingly present. It isn't as potent as it is in the former, but it is more than enough to liven the carbohydrate crystals as well as exaggerate how refreshing they feel on the tongue. Overall, there have been a quite a few cherry energy powders, but Firestar pleasingly breathed some eventual individuality into something that could have stayed as one dimensional as it was initially.

The ingredient cocktail really only contains somewhere around 200 milligrams of caffeine, but this honestly isn't an issue, given that the buzz lasts around four rather jittery hours. Overall, Firestar Cherry's creativity over the just previously reviewed variety helps obscure any problems concerning the taste.

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rip it Power Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

2011-08-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

rip it Power Sugar Free has been around far longer than many other extensions have, so the fact that it uses the basic template associated with the line is unsurprising. The colour scheme is blue with silver, and this creates immediate identification that it's low carb, but such obvious recognition renders the statements "sugar free," "0 calories," and "0 carbs" as pointless clutter. Now, that's not to say that none of the prior should be stated, but in combination with the colouring, one is all that's really necessary.

The flavour doesn't attack your palate with a taste that cloys, but rather it slowly builds from an initial state of a fair feebleness. The beverage's carbonation is sharp but self restrains from resembling sparkling water, and the effervescence climaxes partway through. Raspberry appears to be the backbone to the experience, and it itself is banal to the taste; it requires the following blanketing flavours and their varying tart, sour, and sweetness's to provide naturalness and dimension. A sour lemon is certainly detected, and it's one of the more prominent flavours, however there are a few more fruits that can be noticed. Pear is also strongly represented here, and it's described decently authentically with an adequately appropriate sugariness that is as veritable as the fluid gets. Peach can also be tasted, and though it's one of the weakest, it solely focuses on further inculcating more of the aforementioned spumante virtue. The multiple flavourings are highlighted bluntly and seldom are they not tasted singularly. One though that's seen alongside another is lime, which can be found adjacent to the lemon. The little green fruit leaches some of the larger yellow one's sourness, which is ultimately inapplicable and as a result the lime tastes inaccurate. Any unpleasant artificiality tasted from the synthetic sacchariferous chemicals are hidden mostly behind the oft mentioned carbonation, and this causes the can to be drained of its contents rather quickly. Overall, the flavour to rip it Power Sugar Free is of many specious fruits, but the complexity conveyed is pleasurable enough to forgive and almost forget their ineptitude and enjoy the taste for what it is.

I do not usually receive jitters from low calorie energy drinks, but they were present with Power Sugar Free. They weren't overt nor distracting, but their existence was felt. I had a good degree of energy, though it was unsurprising given the line's history. Each can contains: caffeine(200mg), inositol, vitamin C, various B vitamins, taurine, and guarana. In the end, rip it Power Sugar Free can be found extensively in Dollar Tree coolers, and its regularity at said store makes this one of the most reliable sources of quality for the price, however trite that statement sounds.

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Archer Farms Energy Coffee Review

2011-08-10T02:38:00.000-07:00

This is the only Archer Farms Coffee to not be additionally flavoured, which gives me blind hope considering that previous two varieties were bland disappointments. Its can, however, it surely the worst of the bunch even if it isn't necessarily all that bad. Mostly it's the earthward colour, the gold-like orange, that's rather unappetizing, but it's also the redundant, if not confusing "Coffee coffee energy drink" line. It makes naming the beverage difficult because you naturally want to avoid sounding stupid or repetitious, but without containing an actual flavouring in its title, it makes the previous drinks in the line read differently, which isn't desirable.

The fluid has a charming fragrance of both coffee and burnt sugar, if not toffee, however its flavour is lamentably worse. Don't get me wrong, though, it's far more potent tasting than any previous in the line, but it will not impress otherwise. There is initially an empty feel of skim milk, with its superficial dairy taste mocking your palate's desire for fat, but thankfully coffee is present, even if the brew is a bit weak. There is only the slightest interest of bitterness, which alongside the body's indistinct acidity, is just enough to remind the drinker that the product is coffee. Disconsolately though, neither acidity or sweetness become involved with the experience in any real capacity, but honestly I appreciate any improvements over the previous varieties. Overall, Archer Farms Coffee is the best of the three of the line, which isn't saying much unless the other two of the trilogy are also suffered through.

Sixty five milligrams will never be enough, and it's almost insultingly low. The kick is also insulting weak, with it not lasting a minute over bout half an hour or so. There are also various vitamins that vary in amounts, but they're far from important really. All in all, Archer Farms Energy Coffee is good considering the line, but not considering its competition.

Monster Heavy Metal Energy Drink Review

2011-08-08T01:39:00.000-07:00

I've held off reviewing Monster Heavy Metal for a few years now for three reasons, the first being that it typically sells for an upwards of three plus dollars. The second is that it has been extraordinarily difficult to find up until its recent attack of Big Lot shelves. And the third is that other reviews of the drink have been unanimously unfavourable, which particularly made me reluctant of investing more than a buck fifty for. Its can, however, is actually quite nice, though the line has a sort of tradition about doing so. There is a lot of real estate to work with, but thankfully it was chosen not to jam the design with visuals or text, but there is just enough interest to prevent optical boredom.

The flavour is far more clement than anticipated, with large disclaimers of sour candy apple and vacuous grapefruit, but while the former does indeed taste familiarly honeyed, it isn't nearly as sugary as expected. It actually feels as if it's a confection representation simply because it disregards any honest sense of authenticity, and chooses to rather intensify the aforementioned sourness. But if we focus on the grapefruit, whom which is less arrant than the apple, we notice that it sort of deepens the flavour profile of the stronger fruit. The two taste surprisingly harmonious, even though they're not exactly publicized for doing so, and the citrus dually lays nether and abaft to the granny smith. And while it's trailing behind, the grapefruit leaves an unusually satisfying bitterness that's rather mild but kindred to that of its peel. Overall, Monster Heavy Metal's unparagoned exegesis of the two illustrated fruits is initially aberrant, if not unsettling, and while most will certainly denounce, I at least really started to enjoy each of the many sips the large thirty two ounce can offers.

Each can contains: caffeine(320mg), taurine, several B vitamins, guarana, ginseng, and inositol. The brand's average blend of ingredients kicks well, when there is four servings, and the buzz lasted a good five hours if wholly consumed. There were jitters, unsurprisingly, but not much of a subsequent crash. In the end, the large quantity of animadversion for Monster Heavy Metal's taste is justified, given the flavour's obvious niche quality, but this individuality was personally appreciated and pleasured.

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Tattoo Berry Energy Brew Review

2011-08-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

Tattoo Berry makes a good first impression, with its consistent label graphics and overall theme. The design isn't cluttered, even though there is a decent amount of stuff going on, and because it achieves aggressiveness by going in a different direction than do most drinks, it doesn't feel trite and uninspired. The choice to say "brew" rather than "drink" is a bit unnecessary though, but that's really now just me trying to find fault.

Tattoo Berry is surprisingly sour, at least initially, and as things progress tartness is chosen as a replacement. Both of the former are sweetened much like any good candy of the such is, and this causes the sugariness to feel far less important on the flavour experience than do the two aforementioned. The actual taste is less of the suggested berry and more of the rhyming cherry, to be more specific, the maraschino variety. This may sound self contradictory, as the sweetness was just labeled as secondary, but it's just enough to nectarize the fruit. Both the tart and sourness, however, imbue a sort of authenticity that's depth developing for the cherry, and while the genuineness is superficially incongruous with the saccharinity, the experience demonstrates them both simultaneously and never tastes awkward or discordant. There are notes of both blue and red raspberry, both of which taste dulcetly crystallized, however unlike the general flavouring, they don't ever suggest factualness, but the two honestly do not really need to given that they're merely nuances. Overall, Tattoo Berry's taste is unexpectedly pleasing and it squeezes out uniqueness from such a seemingly usual taste.

Each bottle contains: caffeine, taurine, guarana, ginseng, and several B vitamins. The buzz lasted only around two or so hours, which makes it the drink's weakest area. Overall, it's hard to forgive impotent energy drinks, but Tattoo Berry Energy Brew's taste is solid enough to warrant a mild recommendation.

Firestar Ice Mint Max Energy Powder Review

2011-08-04T02:35:00.000-07:00

Firestar Ice Mint really comes in two versions, with one having half the caffeine as the other, but because the two have the same alleged flavour, the higher caffeinated variant is the only one that is to be reviewed. Its packaging is blue with lighter blue flames circling the logo, which itself has a rather nice silver and yellow graphic. There is also a good degree of text to be read, but it isn't relentless, and so while the eyes are kept busy, the design never looks congested.

The grains are distinct but soon melt, and they taste starkly of mint, though it isn't as cooling as it sometimes can be. The flavour profile is actually alike spearmint, though only far stronger than what gum companies makes one used to, and the infrigidation is most similar peppermint. But the latter is actually a blend of spear and water mint, so the perceived taste is understandable. After the palate's first encounter with the coarse powder, your throat is largely chilled by the menthol of the flavour, and as you experience more sugar crumbs the sensation intensifies and engulfs wholly. It, however, never reaches an unpleasant strength, and the two and a half gram supply per sachet is exhausted rapidly and unfortunately so. Overall, Firestar Ice Mint Max is wonderful to eat and is well crafted even if mint is a rather unexciting flavour.

There isn't any mention of exactly how much caffeine is contained, outside the mention that it's as powerful as two cups of strong coffee. But with that and the previous flavour in mind, it's fine to estimate about 200 milligrams. The kick lasted four or so hours, with some jitters and no crash. All in all, Firestar Ice Mint Max is sharply executed and contains no real flaws, but personally the general taste of mint isn't a favourite.

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Max Velocity Sugar Free Cherry Limeade Energy Drink Review

2011-08-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

Max Velocity Sugar Free Cherry Limeade is a mouthful to speak and a handful to write, and unfortunately there's even more text scattered about. Cans may feature such an ample quantity of words and keep things neat, just so long as everything is organized, but the multiple orientations of statements, in addition to redundant speech, render this can as far too congested. But perhaps the biggest flaw with its appearance is the ugly colour chosen. It is fairly clever that they picked green opposed to red, liked the regular version did, you know, since each colour represents one of the alleged fruits, but the moss shade picked is certainly unappealing.

Max Velocity Sugar Free Cherry Limeade's flavour suffers from its diet nature, but one can still potentially find enjoyment. The two fruits tasted are expectantly lime and cherry, with the latter fruit dominating the generally mild experience. The former certainly influences its superior, especially in regard to the overall sourness, but it is fairly difficult to exactly pinpoint the lime. But that's not to say the cherry is stark, either, as it prefers to hesitantly hug the palate rather than outright choke it. The interpretation of the dyad are muffled and they're recognized as boring and ineptly sugared. The sweetness isn't the worst, mind you, but its demonstration isn't believable and the confectioning of the flavour isn't robust or fulfilling. Much like the red can variety, none of the sips are sufficient and you find yourself falsely dreaming that the next will relieve the wanting. As a result, the entirety of the product passes and you can't recall what you were just tasting, only that it didn't resemble what you wanted it to taste like. Overall, Max Velocity Sugar Free Cherry Limeade isn't offensive and your mouth could suffer through worse for the money spent, but it can't ever be recommended.

Each can contains: caffeine(155mg), taurine, and the typical gang of B vitamins. There was the usual three hour buzz, and it was as unexceptional as the rest of the product. In the end, Max Velocity Sugar Free Cherry Limeade fails to be a sort of guilty pleasure while at the same time it avoids complete abomination, which in turn means it escapes both partial acceptance and rejection.

Stacker 2 Pounding Punch Energy Drink Review

2011-07-31T01:51:00.000-07:00

It isn't hard for Stacker 2 Pounding Punch to look better than it previously did, but by calming down on the pink and editing out the rather frighting wasp, the can now looks a bit more focused. But with that comes problems, as it really doesn't look all too enticing nor does it really convey visual excitement, so it's likely, if not destined, to blur into obscurity in the market.

Sticky sweetness candies what is the major flavour, strawberry, to a near cloying degree. It is artificial to a fault, with it disregarding the fruit that it interprets, but it thankfully improves upon the original and is far more piercingly playful. The berry doesn't taste distracted, muffled, or as bland as it once did, and now the flavour jovially dances about the palate, spreading its blind pleasantness. There is a splash of lime that is partially sublunary to the former, and it surprisingly tastes rather genuine, even if it is nothing much but an abridged and subordinate note. But while the citrus isn't seemingly important, the sourness it demonstrates is, as it further excites and magnifies the already blissful strawberry. Much like the oft mentioned former version, there's a hollow spearmint that's indirectly tasted and mildly cools each sip, and while this doesn't have much of an effect on the distant flavours, it certainly gives the experience more intricacy to chew on. Overall, Stacker 2 Pounding Punch is an amiable improvement over the antecedent portrayal and is not difficult to drink completely, but it surely isn't to impress those virgins to the just aforementioned.

Each can contains various B vitamins, taurine, inositol, and an untold amount of caffeine, and the buzz lasted the longest it could, which unfortunately was only about one hour. Overall and despite the improvements, Stacker 2 Pounding Punch still feels like an unfinished energy drink that was prematurely released.

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Kronik Low Carb Entourage Energy Drink Review

2011-07-29T02:19:00.000-07:00

Kronik Low Carb Entourage proves that orange is tough utilize in the aggressive manner that the rest of the can tries so hard to achieve. It doesn't help that the colour looks rather dull and lacks any sort of visual stimulation, but if they had given the orange a grim edge it may of helped them accomplish what is expected of it. And now that you're bored with the can, it is realized that the design is actually quite cluttered and looks unorganized, with no real sense of flow depicted.

The flavour begins of a sweetly natural blood orange taste that's robust and full bodied, and although it gently increases in strength, it ultimately shows self restraint. There's a bit of a subtle mango note below the former, but it's mostly masked by a decently stronger papaya taste. Both the prior fruits are tangy and are sweetened accordingly to nature. A pear and peach braid intertwines with the said mango note, and the three's strength are balanced equally and enjoyably, and this alloy eventually absorbs the previously stronger papaya. This adds a deep complex to the flavour as a whole, and each of the four slowly provide their distinct tang that adds only more depth. There's a bubbly zest of carbonation that tickles the back of the said fruity blend, and this signifies a near of completion for the experience. The sweetness remains fairly accurate throughout the entirety of the flavour, and while it will probably not fool anyone for fully sugared, the drink's use of abstract intricacy and zaftig fruits distracted me at least from the absent of actual sugar.

I've never felt impressively kicked by the line as a whole, and there's only around a two and a half hour buzz. Each can contains: several B vitamins, caffeine(150mg), taurine, guarana, ginseng, and inositol. All in all, Kronik Low Carb Entourage stresses a wonderfully enjoyable sugar free taste that is easily its only highlight.

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Zumbody Orange Mango Diet and Energy Drink Review

2011-07-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

Much like the Celsius line, Zumbody Orange Mango is intended to raise both the rate of weight loss and energy, but unlike the former drink, the latter only contains fifty five milligrams of caffeine, which is honestly what drives any sort of kick. But we'll touch upon that later, and so right now let us focus our criticisms on the bottle it comes in. While it does have a sort of premium feel because of the glass, there really is too much orange, with both the two labels and the fluid being coloured of the such. Another issue is one that was previously hinted towards, and that would be that the product doesn't really seem to know what it is, or at least this is how it appears. Calling oneself an energy drink, or at minimum insinuating towards the increasing of the such, while having such little caffeine suggests that you don't quite know what you're claiming to be or be similar to.

The drink illustrates orange in a surprisingly candied manner, with it displaying a sharp sweetness that isn't exceptional but impressively authentic considering its artificiality. The citrus is convivially acidic but is dejectedly naked from elucidating either tart or sourness, and unfortunately the nonattendance prevents the orange from exemplifying all the desired characteristics, even if they are all not to be tasted simultaneously in nature. Mango is also a perceived flavouring, and it's not to sardonically hail it as secondary, but it doesn't taste as blithely draconian as the orange. It does, however, have a coltish tang that's superficial but equally vivacious, rendering the drinker as mostly ignorant of its imperturbability. As you sip causally though, the actual flavours appears on the palate as sort of one single taste that is focused on neither of the involved, and both the fruit's idiosyncrasies are persuaded into crafting one pleasingly deep, albeit unoriginal, experience.

Ingredients other than the previously scathed caffeine content include l-carnitine and various extracts that vary in terms of bizarreness. They're likely involved for the whole fat burning aspect, and while it's unsure whether they actually do anything, it is still too hard to forgive the infirm amount of the bitter stimulant. In the end, Zumbody Orange Mango is only slightly an energy drink, which means my opinion of it matters only slightly.

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Archer Farms Vanilla Energy Coffee Review

2011-07-25T02:04:00.000-07:00

The boring Archer Farms' design is banal to begin with, especially since it doesn't really feel like it was crafted for an energy drink, or by someone who understands what they are. But if you fill the can with coffee and give it classically appropriate colours, then it really becomes something that's rather optically pleasing. It's not groundbreaking, nor is it all too visually noble, but it certainly is the best way to present the design.

The flavour, sadly, is as bland to taste as the former variety. There's no pleasing lardaceous depiction nor is there much sweetness, and the only exclamations of the two are shoddily present and renders the drinker crestfallen even with low expectations. Since the experience lacks the two condign, the vanilla isn't able to advertise the anticipated degrees of fattiness or sugariness, both of which are vehemently craved. This is entirely unpropitious as vanilla is really the only flavouring to note. Yes, there is some coffee to taste, but it is weaker and thinner than what precedes it, and the brew lacks all of its trademarks, thus the fluid is absent from the intricate ingraining desired by the bean derived beverage. Reduced fat milk is what is utilized here and obviously it isn't used heavily enough, and it painfully explains why half and half is such a favourite creamer. Overall, Archer Farms Vanilla's stupefyingly maladroit taste is profoundly amateurish, and the ordinarily small eleven ounces is often too much to endure.

The laughably low caffeine content of sixty five milligrams is unable to stir up a buzz lasting hour, though fortunately there weren't jitters or a crash to note. Overall, Archer Farms Vanilla Energy Coffee really doesn't have much of the later three in its name.

Vegas Fuel Energy Drink Review

2011-07-23T02:52:00.000-07:00

I dim-wittingly passed on a can of Vegas Fuel a while back, for who knows what reason, and it has remained unpurchasable to me since. But Spencer's Gifts recently broke the cruel tradition, though it cost me a far too high $2.99. Its can, however, is at least attractive, with respectfully little text and a sophisticated design. The minor red circle is enough of a point of visual interest to keep the label from appearing boring, and the major usage of black allows the can to look sleek and sexy, even if it doesn't display much of a personality.

The first sip reveals a pleasingly stark myriad of fruits, with a sharp initial focus on the jocund communication between pineapple and cherry. The former gives a sort of tropical influence to the latter, and it extends deep into the furthering flavours. Both are allowed a comfortably appropriate degree of sweetness, however the cherry particularly tastes more robust and is easily more trenchant to taste. Orange is another cardinal aspect of the flavour, and although there are bland depictions of both nearby tangerine and clementine, their ineptitude and ill definition concedes them to unionize with the consequential orange, birthing a curvaceously hearty zest of citrus into the experience. There are notes of green grape and raspberry, and the erstwhile of the two is remarkably genuine and is as acute on the tongue as permitted. The following, unfortunately, feels involved only for the sake of unnecessarily bulking the general flavour, as it doesn't depict any natural idiosyncrasies nor does it feel wholly established. Biting the end of each sip is a mild slapping of both guava and passion fruit, and while their appearance is brief, they taste dynamic and feel wisely placed. Overall, Vegas Fuel's flavour isn't exactly original, as it certainly feels familiar at times, but it's smartly designed and is wonderfully paced.

Vegas Fuel sadly isn't the most potent in town, with only 142 milligrams of caffeine per can. It gives the drinker a decent buzz lasting little over two hours, but one can't help but wish it was stronger. Other ingredients include: taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, and various B vitamins. In retrospect, Vegas Fuel is one that should be bought for taste and not for complete satisfaction.

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Uranium Energy Powder Review

2011-07-21T02:28:00.000-07:00

Harcos most unique was absolutely saved for last, as before this I've never come across a yellow cake flavoured anything, other than well, yellow cake. The aforementioned colour, though, ends up being alone outside the black text, and understandably it quickly becomes too much. There's no relief from it and if only a quick passing glance is afforded, then everything just blurs boringly together.

As an avid baker myself, the scent of cake is well known to my nose, but oddly Uranium resembles more of a pudding mix than anything. The flavour is much of vanilla and it's coarsely textured and dually buttery. The fact that the product is nearly entirely sugar means that there's a great degree of sugariness that authentically sweetens the taste to that of the batter of the immensely popular oven cooked confection. Thankfully, there is no raw egg consumption here, which while that should be enough to censor the lust to lick the spoon, we all know that it never is. But the sacchariferous chastity isn't quite able to hide a slight aftertaste from the caffeine that's not quite bitter but still lamentable, and although it does distract, by no means does it ruin the experience. The powder is ever pleasing and though this could be on account on the wildly exotic flavour, one should chose to focus on the positives and enjoy the yellow cake taste of Uranium rather than strip it of its identity and criticize the negatives.

There was only two hours of energy felt, and the buzz detected was rather weak, which does make sense with only ninety milligrams of caffeine to perk you up. All in all, Uranium's revivifying creativity isn't perfect but it's a meritable attempt regardless.

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