Downpour comes in a green can, which isn't what's suggested by its name red rain, which is exactly why you shouldn't brand anything after a colour. Sure, it made sense to years ago when Red Bull was the definitive energy drink, but when you want to expand your product offerings, you're limited to just using the same colour or you risk looking stupid, which is what we have here. It doesn't help that the can itself isn't attractive, with far too much text choking the lower half, and as with the previous varieties, there doesn't seem to be any purpose in using the word "rain." Descending water droplets typically makes one lethargic and drained of energy, which is exactly what these drinks are supposed to prevent.
red rain Downpour has a rather subdued flavour that doesn't assault your palate, but opts to instead mildly pass it by without much interaction. There is surely lime and cherry to taste, but their decrepitude prevents them from tasting ripe, or from ever evolving into a state of the such. There is only the slightest susurration of sourness, which creates an incurable falseness to the fruits, both of whom crave generous helpings of the embellishment. There's an effervescence that's certainly fizzy to the ear, but not exactly bubbly to the tongue, which gives the experience a melancholy flatness. If there was something to praise, it's most definitely the saccharinity, one that gives HFCS a good name by never being syrupy, cloying, and by being conceivably the most creditable characteristic.
Ingredients include: caffeine(142mg), taurine, inositol, and an assortment of B vitamins. The cocktail didn't stir up anything special, with the kick lasting only about two and a half hours, and the sixty grams of sugar likely had something to do with the mild jitters. What it all comes down to is that red rain Downpour doesn't receive praise because it doesn't demand it of itself. It unwisely accepts its mediocrity and disseminates the feeling that it just doesn't care.
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You're hilarious, and a great writer. I would say your talents are wasted on product reviews of such low provenance, but I did actually get the information I was looking for, and enjoyed doing so. Who am I to exhort you what to write about? Good show.
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