It is time for candy corn, or at least it is according to PepsiCo, who's Mtn Dew has their annual "VooDew" out on store shelves. This here is 2024's diet edition, oh I am sorry, their "Zero Sugar" edition. Nomenclature be damned.
The can looks good as per usual, but what could be this year's flavor? Cheap compound chocolate? Plastic Halloween mask? Or what about raw carving pumpkin? Who knows, but my body is willing to bet it ain't candy corn.
Pouring out a crystal clear, the scent is indistinctly fruity, but the flavor is trash: it has the awkward astringency of artificial peach, complete with an equally unpleasant sham creaminess. It just does not work together, failing not only as a holiday treat but also as an experience all together, which should have been priority number one for the brand. Banana is also here, for some reason, contributing nothing except more bewilderment; it does not work as a nuance because nothing here works cohesively. Sucralose and ace-k are the sweetener system at play but they put up no fight to the acidity, which is about the only good thing I could think of- this is more sour than sugary soft drink. Mouthfuls, despite being served chilled, taste somehow slightly warm, as if it needs to be surrounded in dry ice to truly be frosty on the tongue, so I gulped and gulped and my palate winced as every nasty ounce coated it. This tastes worse than trick-or-treaters toilet papering your house.
The buzz is weak, but that is OK, since this is not an energy drink. It is a soda, so the sixty eight milligrams of my namesake chemical mean that you can chug a few cans to ease into the kick. Or, you know, you could do that with a better tasting Mtn Dew.
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