Spylt Caffeinated Strawberry Milk Review

Well slap the coffee out of my hands and color me surprised- today finds us a caffeinated strawberry milk! Actually, this is more a strawberry protein shake ala Muscle Monster, but hey, lemme have this fantasy; the one every young energy fiend dreams of in the cafeteria of their high school, still being served those little cartons of moo juice. The can, however, is a bit of a mess, the white text failing to read well off of the red and pink background.

Pouring out thick like eggnog and hued like bismuth subsalicylate, you take your first sip and by-golly, does this take me back to when I was just a young little Caffeine Prince: this tastes exactly like strawberry milk, and I am all for it. What the fruit lacks in subtle sweetness, bright nuance and fresh juiciness, it more than makes up for by sipping like my youth. The twenty milligrams of protein hardly have any influence over the experience, its usual chalky mouthfeel gone in favor of phenomenal creaminess. What is most surprising though is how the eleven ounce offering offers zero grams of fat, ultrafiltered "skim milk blend" taking the number one spot on the ingredient list. Carrageenan no doubt does much of the textural heavy lifting, somehow able to properly impersonate the milky lush. And then there is the ace-k and sucralose, who handle the sweetening, never taste outwardly artificial, each mouthful being just the right level of saccharine. It might be overly simple and even a bit juvenile, but I could easily crush another Spylt can.

There are just sixty milligrams of my namesake stimulant; it is an unfortunate amount, since the lovely flavor could have easily stood up against a few dozen more milligrams. But with a flavor this good, who the hell cares?

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