Saturday, May 20, 2017

Red Bull The Summer Edition Grapefruit Twist Energy Drink Review

Another summer comes another "Summer Edition" from the Red Bull family, this time grapefruit. Its can is quite attractive; it is simple, easy to read, and has a good balance of colors. But this naming convention, the whole "summer" thing gets confusing when you remember that the company has used this nom de plume in the past, only to change its name once the season ends.

The actual grapefruit flavor here is light, an ulterior taste that is never on the forefront of your tongue during the few gulps the twelve ounce can offers. The morning favorite fruit is shrouded behind the sweetener system, one that is at the same time syrupy and grainy. Thirty seven grams of sugar, sucrose and glucose, the saccharinity here builds in the back of your throat, clamming it to a saccharine halt where the sugariness is swiftly knocked aside by the potation's acidity. This tartness is otherwise understated throughout the experience, but it comes close to climaxing here, its potency augmenting until it collapses without much of a payoff- but that works here in cementing the beverage's reticent disposition. I liked every sip this Red Bull offered, an explorative take on a flavor not often experimented with.

Power is this drink's biggest flaw, a taciturn kick that stumbles on itself with only 114 milligrams of caffeine, B vitamins, and taurine. This produces only an hour and a half long buzz; tomfoolery I cannot sanction at its retail price of three plus bucks.

official site

Friday, May 12, 2017

Juice Monster Ripper Energy Drink Review

Juice Monster Ripper, aside from having a clumsy name, is supposedly a retooling of their previous drink M-80, though internet-only evidence is usually wafer-thin. But its can is a disappointment in either case, a revoltingly neon orange color, creamy but so relentlessly bright that it fatigues your eyes. There is no variation here, nothing interesting save for its textured aluminum, and even that is disenchanting.

Sips are wretched in offensive saccharinity, fifty grams of the sweet stuff and the potation's weak twenty percentage of juice (apple, passion fruit, pineapple, orange and lemon). But even the trained tongue can only taste the first three; the latter two flavors are quite inconsequential. What your palate can detect is fairly pleasant, a complex cocktail of nectars, however their honesty and idiosyncrasies are mislaid by the potable's unflagging sweetness, which dilutes their distinctions and transmutes them into parodies of their natural selves. Effervescence is muted, perfunctory carbonation that does only what the name "carbonated water" suggests.

Potency is another weak spot here, with a kick that lasts just two and a half hours. Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, and 152 milligrams of caffeine. In the end, a dissatisfying flavor, perturbed visuals and cursory kick puts the "RIP" in "Ripper."

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Thursday, May 4, 2017

Private Selection Hazelnut Espresso Beverage Review

One of three store-brand coffee drinks picked up from a local Kroger, Private Selection Hazelnut is a surprisingly handsome looking beverage. Its tall brown and silver backdrop is the perfect background for the small and sophisticated insignia, who's only fault is its slight prolix design.

It is a good thing I keep my fingers clean, as listening to the "shake gently" directions on the back of the can led to my digits becoming submerged in an effervescent espresso eruption as I yanked on the pull-top tab. First sip is a shockingly tasty one, a monumentally milky mixture with a smoothness that would have butter envious. But it is the taste that is the real pleasure here, that namesake hazelnut flavor is nutty in all the right places, adding its own organic bitterness to that from the otherwise placatory coffee beans. They taste just slightly roasted, adding additional pungent body to every imbibe. Only twenty eight grams of sugar sweeten this spumescent java, an amount designed to showcase the natural acridity of the nuts and the brew. But fattiness, four total grams, ends up lacking as the fifteen ounce experience approaches closure, its lardaceousness not as dynamic as the flavors demand.

B vitamins, vitamin C, A, and caffeine from coffee give a decent boost, but in the world of energy drinks, the two and a half hour long kick could have used an additional shot of espresso. On the whole, Private Selection Hazelnut is a generic coffee done right.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Rockstar Blackout Energy Drink Review

How this new Rockstar variety, Blackout, is any different from the original brand entry is beyond me; the can gives minimal explanation as to what the hell "Blackout" means, although that does make for a far cleaner can than the company is accustomed to creating.

The color inside the can is unfortunate, an elixir painted gold and not the namesake ebony. The flavor is mysterious, a muddled cocktail of vanilla, blueberry, and blackberry, all tied together by a humdrum saccharinity that teeters on the brink of becoming syrupy. Acidity is nonexistent, every sip lacking a certain tartness that would give its tedious taste texture- and its disturbingly calm effervescence is helping no cause. It is an experience defined by banausic characteristics and an overall plodding personality, a sometimes functional flavor that is let down by its intense apathy in taking chances. A completely generic tasting drink.

Each can contains: caffeine (160 milligrams), taurine, guarana, l-carnitine, inositol, ginseng and B vitamins. Any kick is woefully average, lasting three hours, and contains all the jitters fifty eight grams of sugar can cause. In the end, Rockstar Blackout is simultaneously both more and less than the anticipated Red Bull clone it ended up being.

official site

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Mtn Dew Spiked Lemonade Review

What is the point of Mtn Dew Spiked? It calls itself "spiked," but not with alcohol but with prickly pear juice- a more appropriate name would be "Mtn Dew Contains," with following text that reads "contains prickly pear juice. Its can is quite attractive, despite its company history, however, the text begins to coagulate towards the bottom of the can.

The taste is astonishingly pleasant, its terse lemon flavor explodes out of the can and onto our palate, with the pear introducing an earthy underbelly to the experience. The trademark of a good lemonade is that little sweetness that builds in the back of your throat as you sip, and this Spiked variety nails that. Thanks to sugar, agave syrup, and stevia, saccharinity avoids the pitfalls of the Mtn Dew-trademark syrupiness and stevia's organic bitterness. Utilizing actual lemon juice, as well as the can-publicized prickly pear, there is surprising depth to this cloudy yellow elixir. But carbonation here is a dud, even on first sip my tongue was completely unimpressed. Its listless effervescence is a massive letdown; this is a flavor with moxie and verve, one that demands its bubbles to be as brisk.

Calories clocks in at 140, more than the brand's Kickstart line, but not unheard of for a sixteen ounce drink. Caffeine comes in at a modest seventy two milligrams, an unfortunately low amount. In the end, Mtn Dew Spiked Lemonade is a tasty drink, but there are a few execution errors that prevent it from being a home run.

official site

Monday, April 10, 2017

Kaffn8 Liquid Caffeine Review

Kaffn8 comes back to us in the same bottle but with an updated sticker, this time looking far more svelte than before. Its logo is more mature, there is more movement and even a few little coffee beans offering our eyes something more than just text. But there still is too much writing, particularly the "benefits of Kaffn8" portion of the design, which would have been more appropriate on a press-release than on the packaging.

Throughout the days following the arrival of Kaffn8, my eager digits were splashing the caffeinated Adam's ale into just about everything, from half an ounce into a batch of chocolate chip pancakes (homemade, and covered of course by the best grade A dark amber), where the sweetness of the breakfast delight masked any bitterness the energized elixir brought to the batter. A bowl of cocoa puffed rice, the kind sold in bags rather than boxes, covered 150 milligrams of caffeine rather fine, melting into the chocolate and never allowing its inherent bitterness from ruining my breakfast. But a packet of oatmeal, you know, the one with the guy on the box, sacrificed its flavor to the fourth ounce's bitterness; several sachets of sugar were called in as backup, and only then were the oats safe for my tongue.

A fourth of an ounce mixed swimmingly into a diet NOS, which true caffeine junkies will know used to contain 100 milligrams more of my namesake chemical, so although I would advise against adding more caffeine to a caffeinated drink, I was simply evening the playing field. Grocery store Kroger's Diet Citrus Drop, their play on Mtn Dew, masked a fourth of an ounce with ease, under its feisty effervescence and acute saccharinity. Earl Grey tea, black, not creamed, is a fantastic mixer, masking the bitterness in that of its own and slight citrus nuance.

You control the amount you put in, and on average, a 100 milligrams of caffeine provides roughly an hour and a half long kick. You can do the math from there. Overall, Kaffn8 remains a terrific product, fully executing its novel premise, only now with a far better looking label.

official site

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Maddox Energy Drink Review

I love it when an energy drink company names its drink something unique and not just some "cool" noun, ala Monster or Rockstar. Maddox Energy, from the Austrian Alps, comes in a completely functional can- complete with all the usual text a caffeinated beverage is anticipated to have. But lacks something to stand out from its larger competitors, whether it is a more popping color scheme or better slogan, Maddox's can is serviceable but not memorable.

Though there might not be any scent, Maddox's flavor is that of Red Bull, but that is not as bad it may seem. Real sugar gives every imbibe a lovely weight, but the predominate taste is vanilla, shrouded in sourness and forceful implications of bubble gum and citrus. Effervescence is leadened, but the acidity keeps the gooey liquid from bogging down your palate, one that would be right at home in a child's candy. The trilogy of tastes is wholly generic, a blend blended many times and one sampled almost as much on my tongue, but its clean aftertaste and tenacious tartness palliates any potentially crestfallen consumer.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and eighty milligrams of caffeine. The kick is that of your standard eight ounce energy drink, lasting an hour and a half with a gradual drop off. Overall, Maddox is just a sixteen ounce packaging and more distinguished design away from being a remarkable Red Bull clone.

official site
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