Monday, October 24, 2016

Monster Mutant Soda Review

Monster's new product its most unique and its most uninspired; Mutant Super Soda. Separate from any in the brand, this neon green potation is an obvious attempt to knock Pepsi's Mtn Dew out of first place from caffeinated soda market. But the bottle here is so brazen, from its curvy bottle to its coloring, not just of Mtn Dew but also of the effervescent relics like MDX or Vault, with their promises of feeling "energized" and all that corporate puffery.

First sip is astonishingly familiar, an initially refreshing but entirely trite cross between Mtn Dew and Coca-Cola's Sprite. Grapefruit and lime are the dominates here, with an underbelly of lemon and a touch of pineapple. It is a less congruous potable than its adversary, with each fruit tasted after one another, instead of as one, with the blunt seams holding the flavor together by a threadbare thread. Sweetness, seventy grams of it, all high fructose corn syrup, is overbearing, establishing an egregiously syrupy experience that only thickens as sips are taken. There is actually less sugar here than its main competitor, seven grams less, but with the same amount of calories, Mutant stands as a missed opportunity to create a gut-friendly Dew corrival.

Each twenty ounce bottle contains 290 calories and 115 milligrams of caffeine, more than Mtn Dew's 91. But it is far from a noticeable bump, and just makes you wish you had drank an energy drink over this retread energy soda.

official site

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Angry Angel Energy Drink Review

Angry Angel is about as generic as an energy drink can look, with its boring decals over a disinteresting black backdrop; it is pretty dark of a can to be any angel I'd like to drink. It is at least a clean design, with minimal text and is free of clutter, but it is just not interesting to look at.

Sips lacks a hearty effervescence, leaving a dulled and leadened mouthfeel to the imperceptibly sweetened experience. Stevia and thirteen grams of sugar do the sweetening here, but they lack the punch needed to raze the unpalatable sourness of every imbibe. The flavor is decidedly a mixed-bag; what tastes like goji berry and cranberry, but lacking any convincing heft; the beverage's "natural flavors" lamentably lack the impression actual juice leaves on the taste buds. What it does offer, however, its an organic bite, an obnoxious, almost bitter edge to each of this potable's twelve ounces. Angry Angel has a unique taste, for sure, but does not have a good one.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, inositol, yerba mate, fifty calories and 120 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is the best characteristic here, a pleasant, two and a half hour long kick that did not end with a crash. To end, Angry Angel is a bizarre experience, sustaining this awkward tone throughout.

official site

Saturday, October 8, 2016

GURU Organic Lite Energy Drink Review

GURU? Is that you? The same energy drink line I last reviewed in 2009? GURU Lite is the variety breaking the beverage's seven year break of appearing on the site, and was actually reviewed almost a decade ago. Its can has remained largely identical, with a more energetic and dynamic, although in the revamping process it launders the original's unique industrial design.

The flavor is exactly like how I remember it all those years ago, a citrusy sweet flavor that is heavy on an undercurrent of tartness and an abstracted nuance of red grapes. There is an organic bite to each of the twelve ounces, imbuing every imbibe with a nethermost pungency that works well with the drink's sweetness, realized by a mixture of cane syrup, three grams, and stevia. Having a lingering bitterness to it, its sugariness is not exactly distracting, however this unique experience could have benefited from a more mainstream saccharinity.

Each can contains: green tea, guarana, ginseng, and 142 milligrams of caffeine, crafting a two hour long buzz. Its a fine kick, nothing noteworthy, but completely serviceable. In the end, GURU Lite is a refreshing departure from most of this years energy drink offerings.

official site

Friday, September 30, 2016

Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light Review

With its calorie content a more palatable seventy, as opposed to 140 in the original, Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light uses the same basic can but with the addition of a baby blue diagonal slash across the top of the petite six and a half ounce can. It is neither the worst nor the best appearing can, however, an ordinarily decent design tarnished by the chubby blue peak.

This belly-friendly beverage uses sucralose and ace-k in place of the original's sugar, although there is some sugar from other ingredients, and has an increased reliance on reduced-fat milk over the non-diet version's cream. The espresso taste remains fantastic however, bitter without any nasty burn and has a rich body not easily found in a canned container of coffee. The natural bite of the brew pities the joe's lack of honest sweetness and its dependence on lard-light moo juice, but with the experience being a short one, it is not as much of a problem as it could have been had the can been more obese.

120 milligrams of caffeine is all we get here, but it is a great quantity for such a shot-sized potation, one that hits almost as soon as you take your first sip. In the end, Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light is an easy drinking and potent little potable, but the cracks start to show the slower you sip.

official site

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Little Miracles Lemongrass Tea and Ginseng Organic Energy Drink Review

The bottle here is nice, its easy to read and things flow fairly well. But it is the name that is the problem: "Little Miracles Lemongrass Tea and Ginseng Organic Energy." It is long-winded and vague, and is not explicitly stated on the bottle; I had to look on the company's website. A note to energy drink makers, do not make me do that.

First sip is tart, the non-carbonated potation resting heavily on the tongue without any verve or enthusiasm. Its taste makes up for the monotonous texture, a clement and indistinct nuance from the lemongrass and a more robust orange flavor. But its the ginger that really pushes the envelope, its spicy kick that is homey and warming in an otherwise traditional experience. Its sweetness, nineteen and a half grams of sugar all from agave syrup, is beautiful, sweetening each sip with a faded thickness and pleasant full body.

Each eleven plus ounce bottle contains lemongrass tea extract and ginseng, making its caffeine content, if any, impossible to discover online or on its plastic container. Its kick misses a turbo-shot of my namesake chemical, and any effect found resembles drinking water on a hot sunny day more so than drinking your morning coffee. In the end, Little Miracles Lemongrass Tea and Ginseng Organic Energy is a tasty distraction that will have its audience, just not on my site.

official site

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Mossy Oak Pursuit Original Energy Drink Review

A yellow belt divides a camouflage background, not unlike the Team Realtree brand. This design is less interesting, nothing visual to set it apart from its competition, using simple shapes for its label.

There is nothing original here; every imbibe is your conventional Red Bull clone, perhaps a tad less sweet and more sour than most- who cares, you have experienced this beverage before. The most saccharine section of each sip is the vanilla, an understated taste more interested in medicinal cloyingness than respecting the world's second most expensive spice. There is some apple nuance in the humdrum potation, but it is never explored, nothing is aside from the exploited sweetness. The sugariness lacks depth, a one-note punch of empty calories, predominately high fructose corn syrup, the second ingredient, with some dextrose, who appears much further down the list. It is a sticky nectar, one that remains in the back of your throat the entire sixteen ounces and its potency only builds until you reach the drink's diffident denouement.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. It is a serviceable buzz, lasting two and a half hours, however with something of a crash afterword. Overall, Mossy Oak Pursuit Original is a completely generic experience, like a cheap knock-off of the equally unimpressive Team Realtree.

official site

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Rockstar Juiced Tropical Passionfruit Energy Drink Review

Rockstar Juiced Tropical Passionfruit is an ugly looking drink, but one that screams for a textured can! Its metal design looks cheap and has nothing to do with "juice," aside from feigned toughness, and makes the already unnecessary text (as in, "juice" is stated at least three times) more difficult to read.

First sip is super sweet, forty eight grams of sugar and glucose, in addition to sucralose and ace-k, and this sugariness only builds as the can is depleted. Each can is ten percent juice, all from apple and orange, leaving any passion fruit flavor for the nebulous "natural flavors" deep in the drink's ingredient list. But the namesake taste is present in every imbibe, its trademark tartness makes a hearty appearance in each gulp, and its juice brethren add only a partially related organic edge to the generally medicinal experience. It is not a bad beverage in itself, a completely drinkable 220 calorie cocktail of fruits more at home in a can that reads "NOS" or "No Fear."

Each can contains: taurine, l-carnitine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, B vitamins, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is your basic two and a half hour long kind, crafting a few jitters and a slight crash. To end, Rockstar Juiced Tropical Passionfruit is an uninspired release, but it one that only ran me a buck fifty.

official site
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