Saturday, May 23, 2015

Monster Ultra Citron Energy Drink Review

Another brightly colored "Ultra" variety from the Monster conglomerate, this time the name is Citron and the expectation is lemon. Its can is textured but it seems every flavor from the brand is, making the once unique hand-feel a boring expectation.

Redolence reminiscent of cleaning supplies rather than fresh fruit, with its relentless aroma of fake citrus. We take a sip, and I will be darned, it ain't half bad. The flavor is pure lemon, lighter than the pheromones that escape into the nose, with a slight tartness that builds in the back of your throat. Its impersonation of the produce falls on the more natural side of the scale, resistant without the potency of the perfume, for better or worse. Erythritol, sucralose, and ace-k rock together in place of real sugar, a decent blend that cannot give the lemonade-wannabe flavor its desiderated heft. Its texture could also use some work; a watery mouthfeel with a finite famine of any pulpy goodness. For a diet, big-name release, Monster Ultra Citron is actually pretty good; it just dismally lacks the something-something to make it great.

Each can contains: caffeine (one hundred and fifty two milligrams), B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, l-carnitine, guarana, and inositol. This stock blend has the ingredients for a terrific buzz, but lasts only two and a half hours. In the end, Monster Ultra Citron's taste is one of the more complete from the company, bringing an otherwise ordinary experience up a few pegs.

official site

Friday, May 15, 2015

Red Bull the Yellow Edition Energy Drink Review

This tropical-inspired Red Bull debuted last year with the sobriquet "Summer," but only recently started showing its can in my neighborhood. It is a decent twelve ounces, bigger than the trademark bullet can the brand popularized but still smaller than much of its competition, not to mention more expensive. Yellow is at least aestival, but one cannot help but think "Yellow Bull" is a better name.

Gone is the medicinal grip famous for the company; traded for a rough stitching of pineapple, orange and mango. Its haste cobbling is fortunately mostly guised by an upfront tartness, a puckering and pleasant acidity that breathes much of the only veracity into the ternion of exotic fruit forgery. The produce themselves are fogged together, acting more as an overview of three flavors, rather than allowing each savor's nuance to parade across the palate. Papaya and passion fruit almost make a welcome appearance, but the soupcon is choked off of the tongue by the leadened effervescence; carbonation not bubbly enough for the "tropical" plastered across the can. At least the thirty nine grams of sugar sweetens with respected restraint; an almost granular saccharinity that avoids any syrupiness. In the end, this is not the hit Red Bull may have needed, but at least they are trying.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 114 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is unimpressive, lasting an hour and a half. Overall, Red Bull the Yellow Edition is a little experience: a little small, a little expensive, little taste and a little weak.

official site

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Root 9 Panax Red Vitality Drink Review

Root 9 comes in two flavors, Red and Gold, a naming convention more like cigarettes than energy- wait, I mean vitality, drinks. Aside from the meager, and internet purported, fifty milligrams of caffeine, this twelve ounce can masquerades as your typical energy beverage. It is at least cleanly designed, but its oracular artifice is more confusing than effective.

Lightly tumbled, this carbonated potation has a terrific bite; a sour, earthy kick that balances the thin line between bitter and piquant. Its acidity is puckering and bodes brilliantly to the experience's relaxed saccharinity, accomplished with sucralose and ace-k. The sugar system's own chemical acridness is guised almost impressively by the coarse tartness, with minimal aftertaste tasted through the resilient acerbity. With all those sentences, it is hard to forget we have yet to discuss the potable's actual taste, which is a tenebrous blend of inchoate fruits muddled together and buried well beneath the citric sharpness. The ginseng and green tea makes every sip a polysemous mix of produce, the inconspicuous citrus and bleary berry flavors proving decidedly less interesting than the homey acidulousness.

Each can contains: the aforementioned quantity of caffeine, B vitamins, vitamin C, and 500 milligrams of red ginseng. Any energy derived is minor, a buzz lasting unexcitingly under an hour. In the end, Root 9 Panax Red's flavor deserves more potency and more explicit gimmick.

official site

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Mtn Dew Sangrita Blast Review

Another former Taco Bell soda exclusive, Sangrita Blast can now be bought at your local mega mart. Its can is standard for a soda, however this Dew version is a pinkish red with some urban graphics and unnecessary text underneath the variety's name.

Its flavor lacks much of the "Dew" the brand is somehow famous for, with an overreliance on an indistinct, bedimmed brew of cherry, guava and orange. Any of the company's trademark taste is restricted to a sluggish lime and lemon bite, weighed down by the beverage's heavy sugary syrupiness. It is a dissonant experience, one with a porcine dulcitude but gossamery taste; your palate is coated by a dense film of sugar but with little flavor inside. Tartness and nuance is exchanged for sordid saccharinity, HFCS and sucrose makes the forty three grams seem like an underestimate. The effervescence is truly disturbing; perfunctory carbonation that languishes on your tongue, seemingly fizzing out before it can even transport the supine savors from the can to your trembling tongue.

Each can contains: a lot of sugar, 160 calories, and fifty four grams of caffeine. Its terrible taste is not worth the belt-breaking carbohydrates, although this is nothing new for the brand. Overall, Mtn Dew Sangrita Blast is just another misguided and ignoble release.

official site

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Hydrive Black Cherry Energy Drink Review

Trading some childish text for too much text, Hydrive Black Cherry is a beautiful vermilion color hardly seen behind its Brobdingnagian label. It is mostly attractive, with plenty of sultry black and interesting dotted background, but becomes lost as it erroneously believes words like "formula" and "caffeine" are necessary.

Not unlike the best cheep beers, our first swig somehow does not stun with zero taste, an avalanche of watery nothingness. It is expected and as refreshing as bottled water gets, but almost instantly the deepest of fruit flavors dye the former flood blandness and kick your jaw to the floor. Equal parts maraschino and rum cherry, every quaff exploits a paradisiacal balance between playful saccharinity and impassioned tartness. It is sweet while honoring the "black" in its name, sucrose and sucralose behaving and blending in a faultless textbook fashion. Its tenacious texture is provocative on the palate while never growing cloying or unwelcome, its viscidness somewhat grainy yet somehow silky. Has this Hydrive been reformulated since I last praised its taste years ago? I do not know, but I am still praising it.

Each bottle contains: B vitamins, yerba mate, taurine, and 195 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is better than most in of the line, lasting almost four hour long and of equal strength to many of its competitors. On the whole, any of my complaints of Hydrive Black Cherry are niggling.

official site

Monday, April 13, 2015

Zest Tea Earl Grey Black Tea Energy Review

Not the packaging featured across the company's website, this variety's silver sachet is best assumed to be a sample pouch. Actually, it is, given the text "sample" is read after the flavor indication, so let us try and ignore its logorrhea and bland color scheme.

Each quaff cleanses the palate with a sudden aquatic furor, your first gulp revivifies in a fashion that only tea can. The earl grey black genus proves the most pungent of the Zest Teas; a robust flavor slightly earthy but never bitter. There is richness to every imbibe, a slight yeasty, bread-like taste sheathed by both a clement sweetness and placid bergamot citrusness. Your tongue observes an indefectible balance between the binary of sapors, themselves benignant and help craft an experience fervidly refreshing. All of the few sips my six-ounce mug offers left me coveting another; a beverage more honest and mature than its already satisfying predecessors.

The pyramid bag contains an dramatic 150 milligrams of caffeine, birthing a two and a half, if not three, hour long buzz. To end, Zest Tea Earl Grey Black is the brand's strongest effort to date, the most complete and most refined.

official site

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Tornado Ice Energy Drink Review

Back is the gnarly plastic bottle with a replaceable cap, but that continues to be the only area the Tornado brand succeeds: too much real estate is black, empty space fitted with a tiny logo and an underwhelming twister theme. Do tornadoes exist in winter time? The answer is a quick Google search away, but I should not be asking myself that when there is an energy drink in hand.

There is a lot of citrus here, an experience considerably more unique than its Red Bull pretending predecessor- unique, but not tastier. Grapefruit and lemon dominate but disappoint in this fruit salad, flavors fuliginous with little in the way of honesty. Lime, melon and orange join the umbrageous union, produce pushed into the darkness by a diet-destroying fifty nine grams of sugar; giving each already confused sip a heavy and gooey lamination of unsought saccharinity. Undesired dulcitude quickly cloys and clumps together in the back of your throat, further dissimulating the shoal salmagundi. Effervescence is equally mundane, a flat carbonation that engenders the existing stagnant mouthfeel. Overall, Tornado Ice may not be a lamentable Red Bull clone like its relative, but it is lamentable.

Each bottle contains: some B vitamins, taurine, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. Any energy lasts no longer than two hours, an uninspired and unimpressive buzz for something with so much sugar. On the whole, Tornado Ice is almost "so-bad-it's-good." Right now, it is just "so-bad."

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Peak Energy Fresh Mint Review

For a packaging keeping two nickle-sized candies safe, Peak Energy Fresh Mint's sachet gives the pieces too much wiggle room, being larger than a credit card. They are going to bump and bruise each other in a wrapping this loose and this large, however its protracted size keeps things visually clean, with never too much text to busy the blue and black paper pouch.

The matte disks have the brand branded into their faces, very lightweight and smooth mints. They hold their shape well in your mouth, however their previously sleek body melts into a bumpy coin of potent peppermint. The latter is truly a sight; it is nearly bitter, dextrose and sucralose & ace k sweetening feebly for a flavor so persuasive. Its lack of complementary saccharinity extends beyond taste, crafting an unsatisfying snap as you bite into the brittle tablet. The pungent pucks pack too much flavor to compensate for the caffeine, or so it seems. I would not mind four smaller, less puissant morsels with a weaker buzz.

Each mint shines with a hundred milligrams of caffeine, some D-ribose, and B vitamins. Easily the best characteristic here, two pieces imbues in a kick fast, one lasting three plus hours. Keeping up their rock-solid performance is the lack of any crash. In the end, Peak Energy Fresh Mints need to dial back its raucous peppermintiness from an eleven. Otherwise, things are pretty good.

official site

Friday, March 20, 2015

Rockstar Roasted With Almond Milk Caffe Latte Energy Coffee Review

More coffee and almond milk from Rockstar, this Roasted variety is of the nubilous "caffe latte," and I am too tired to remember how that is different from any other foreign coffee concoction. Its can is just as attractive as the Light Vanilla devastation, but let us just hope what is inside tastes better than its diet predecessor.

Swirl the sludge about and watch in terror at the fatless fluids fail to cling to the walls of the cup, resembling black coffee in everything except color and taste. Each Sanka-like sip of the gossamer sepia solution punches through your teeth the pungencies of burnt coffee and bitter chocolate. Its tepid texture disgusts coffee consumers with the rarefied mouthfeel of bottled water, save for the gritty sweetness that is more gritty than sweet. The caliginous brown mud lacks the saccharinity of its twenty two grams, unexpectedly astringent and synthetic from the adverse addition of ace-k and sucralose. Astonishingly awful, Rockstar outdid itself and its competition here and brewed fifteen ounces of pure amaroidal displeasure.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, and 225 milligrams of caffeine. I like that last part, and Rockstar usually delivers with a pretty rocking buzz, pun intended, and this potable is no different. It lasted four hours, for you of those who care, but ended with a small crash. In the end the verbosely titled "Rockstar Roasted With Almond Milk Energy + Coffee Caffe Latte" sets a new benchmark for bad taste. Its can and kick? Those fortunately are pretty good.

official site

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Red Bull Total Zero The Orange Edition Energy Drink Review

Though the thought of new Red Bulls does not exactly tickle my tummy, their growth spurt from a puny eight ounces to a more neoteric twelve shows the company may finally be realizing the err in their obdurate ways. Unfortunately, the can again falls victim to dumb design, a Red Bull who's packaging has only the ungainly marriage of orange and bare-aluminum. It has been more than a decade, but only now are they realizing the fatuousness of the famous name.

Surprisingly robust despite its sugar free origins, each imbibe splashing the palate with more verisimilitude than it maybe deserves. Things are less just "orange," more a goulash of tangerine and mango with a competent tartness and slight organic bite. It is spartan but interestingly paced, a relaxed, almost refreshing and unostentatious departure from the company's typical offerings. Shamefully, a metallic aftertaste, that is more of a "during" than "after," perverts each effervescent sip. Making matters worse, ace-k and sucralose sweeten with chemical pungency instead of passion, puncturing the foundation of the otherwise sapid soda.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 114 milligrams of caffeine. The our and a half long kick is unimpressive considering its premium price, then again, so is its taste. Overall, the can to this Red Bull reads "Made in Switzerland." It is more like "Made Ineptly."

official site

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Bawls Guarana Orange Review

Bawls is back with another soft drink-inspired flavor, this time orange and the second one after their estimable root beer variety. Its glass bottle continues to feel fabulous in the palm, heavy but grips well with its studded circumference. It is a cleaner design than most, the clear glass cruet allows for the phosphorescent liquid to tell your eyes the flavor without the need of much text.

Sweetness is king in this ten ounce offering, a strong saccharinity never syrupy despite its high fructose corn syrup purity. Perhaps what destroys any slimy texture is the rough effervescence; it is of the curtest carbonation, waking up your tongue and perfectly setting the stage for its flavor. That flavor is orange of course, a relentless imitation of the fruit, each splash of the unyielding liquid painting palates with citrus unsulliedness. Depth is disregarded for a greater citrus concentration, each sip tasting the same as the last and the one upcoming. A tempered tartness eases none of the flavor exclusivity, an experience ignorant of those who thirst for something more diverse as their potation of choice. Doesn't sound like you? Yeah, it doesn't sound like me either.

Guarana, sixty four milligrams of caffeine and thirty three grams of sugar is all we get from this pop, but for the likes of Mtn Dew and Surge drinkers, that is enough. To end, Bawls Guarana Orange's simplicity is meritable, but will not change the opinion of those who do not reach for Sunkist or Fanta from the cooler.

official site

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Kaffn8 Liquid Caffeine Review

Although I can applaud the plastic for being conveniently clear, that rectangular sticker leaves a whole lot to be desired. "Kaffn8" is clever but confusing, and its slogan "Simply. Caffeine." should read "Simple. Caffeine." For all the real estate that creamy yellow label offers, our eyes are bored with too much text, inconsistently underlined, italicized, and boldfaced. Particularly, that fiscal savings declaration should be removed; this is packaging, not an advertisement.

Oodles of potables were exposed to both a forth and a half ounce of Kaffn8, and cipher of the myriad of mixtures proved bitter. From seventy five milligrams to twice that, this caffeinated liquor successfully converted everything from orange juice to several popular "diet" colas into some sorta sleeper energy drinks. Though only a fraction of an ounce, frequently a sip is needed to prevent the chemical concoction from pooling onto the rim of the soda can, and that is most certainly not good eats, er, drinks. Recommended is synthesizing the two in a tall glass, not only to circumvent the aforementioned but also for the promise of a more absolute blending. Among the more imaginative pairings included coffee, who's own astringency masked the product's own. Several servings of name-brand raisin bran and one percent milk was among the more creative pick-me-ups attempted, and it is a shame there is few breakfast soups to further these unbridled experiments.

Each ounce contains 300 milligrams of the good stuff, so each consumer controls their caffeinated destiny. It is a shame there is nothing else in each 240 milliliter canteen, perhaps a variety loaded with all the usual supplement suspects to more directly combat the energy drink market? In any event, you should not judge Kaffn8 by its cover, or rather container.

official site

Monday, February 16, 2015

NRG MicroShot Review

The rounded bottom of this shot's tube prevents the shot from conveniently standing like its competition, and forces a piece of plastic to wrap the drink with a text sodden card. A flat scrap of paper and a cylindrical container do not mix, as the sheet of plastic proved too loose to keep the two together, whether in my pocket or from the factory to my mailbox.

A sugar and caffeine free chaser rests in hand as taste-bud insurance. Surprisingly scented strongly of the spiced autumn-favorite, my first sip renders my former trepidation moot. The thick brown syrup explodes potently of warm apple, its almost grainy thickness thanks to the unanticipatedly coarse sweetness. Only the slightest bit tart, the seasoned savor of the ofttimes harvested fruit is robust yet uncomplicated. A concentrated solution of granular saccharinity and persuasive flavor, this is a pretty tasty energy shot.

"As much caffeine as a cup of coffee" is the official quantity of my namesake chemical, an amount too vague and generically stated. I have read "120 milligrams" on the interweb, but you should take everything you read online with a grain of salt. Other ingredients to thank for this two hour buzz include: B vitamins, taurine, n-acetyl, and l-tyrosine. On the whole, NRG MicroShot needs a revamped packaging and clearer supplement facts to match its palatable flavor.

official site

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Caution Arizona RX Energy Drink Review

Ninety nine cents is too low to criticize this eleven and a half ounce can from Arizona, the company not the state. It is a lot of yellow and some blue and black, with a little red for color, but the whole "caution tape" artifice is unduly underutilized and ultimately underwhelming. What "RX" means is beyond my caring, but it is inclusions like that that keep this beverage from looking as good as it should, or at least, could.

This thick potion contains ten percent of many juices, all sterilized into a pedestrian pulp of desolate and dense dimensionlessness. Imagine a punch between mango, lemon and lime, but abduct all authenticity and neuter any playfulness. The ingredient list argues even more fruits frolic here, however each gulp is childish without the fun and all of any depth is forgotten in the libation's wanton nescience. Some sucralose and thirty seven grams of sugar, predominately HFCS, sweeten with unforeseen restraint, but the trade off is a discomposing syrupiness who's saving grace is the product's small sub-sixteen size. Orange blossom honey is probably the best thing about this slender elixir, giving every sip a mature bitterness that softly escalates the experience out of its otherwise dejected puerility.

Each can contains: taurine, caffeine (144 milligrams) l-carnitine, ginseng, inositol, guarana, B vitamins, milk thistle and 150 calories. The kick is quite decent considering the quality of the rest of the drink, lasting about two hours, perhaps two and a half. In the end, the name is right: you should approach Caution Arizona RX with plenty of caution.

official site

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Mtn Dew Kickstart Pineapple Orange Mango Review

For the Mtn Dew Kickstart line's plural of new flavors, we lose four ounces in favor of a new coconut water gimmick. How that will affect the taste and kick is yet to be discovered, but we can discuss how the new direction influences the can design. Its brighter color scheme is implicative of the line's breakfast origins, a cheery look that nevertheless disappoints after the edgier Cherry and Lime varieties.

Curt carbonation is rough so early on palates, a sterile cocktail mostly of mango and orange. Every splash submerges you in an experience of equal proportion, a binary braid braided so perfectly you never see the seams stitching the two tastes together. But it is a feeble flavor who takes zero chances with depth or complexity, no rogue nuances or ambagious pulpiness. Little of the namesake pineapple tangos with the predominate fruits, the prudent produce adds only some tartness to the otherwise prosaic punch. High fructose corn syrup sweetens but no sip is syrupy, maybe it is the juice or perhaps the breviloquent effervescence. Whatever the case, never does a mouthful feel like its can should read Mtn Dew. White grape and coconut water provide the trumpeted ten percent of nectar, but your palate is only ever reminded when your eyes read the herald fact.

Each can contains: caffeine (sixty eight milligrams), vitamin C and B vitamins. For those health conscious, add sixty calories from fourteen grams of sugar. The kick is without a doubt the weakest link here, lasting less than an hour. Dear Mtn Dew, that is definitely not the "right about of kick." But to be fair, the Kickstart line has never gotten that right.

official site
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. I do not take responsibility for any contents linked or referred to on my guest book/weblog. Photos are either mine or owned by there credited sources. All my photos are free to use without permission. If you see a picture that is yours and do not want it here, just email me and it will be removed.