Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Gridlock Ultra White Energy Drink Review

Why the hell would there be another Gridlock variety? It has been six years since I encountered the original two flavors, so why now? And why another diet one- did the original low-carb version have just a few too many calories? Either way, its can remains largely identical, complete with all the baby blue coloring, though it is now faintly textured, and the black has been swapped with white, hence the name.

The flavor is a complete riff of Monster Zero Ultra, a parody experience who's best joke is saying "see Monster, I can do everything you can for only a buck." But the problem lies in that the drink it clones was not very tasty to begin with. Grapefruit and lemon are predominately featured, but they lack any punch, limping languidly onto the palate and rot as they make their way down your throat. Sweetness in this zero calorie cocktail is composed by erythritol, sucralose, and ace-k, a trilogy fine enough, but one that builds on the back of your tongue and clogs your palate with its extreme saccharinity that augments into an unpleasant aftertaste after only a handful of imbibes. Though I can praise Gridlock for ripping off a drink other than Red Bull, its taste is still a ripoff.

Each can contains: taurine, B vitamins, ginseng, inositol, guarana, and 140 milligrams of caffeine. Consonant with the rest of the experience, Gridlock copies the kick from the aforementioned Monster, one that lasts just under three hours. Gridlock Ultra White takes a handful of risks for a generic energy drink, but it is painfully boring to drink, and at the end of the day, it is still a store-brand spoof of another beverage.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Monster Hydro Tropical Thunder Energy Drink Review

This bizarre bottle, yes, it is plastic except for its metal pull-tab top, is the Monster brand's latest spinoff. Out to combat Gatorade, I suppose, it looks like no other energy drink on the shelf, but whether or not it truly is one is up to the product's marketing team. But if it truly wishes to due battle with sports drinks, it is going to need to come up with a better container, as the lack of a screw off cap limits its mobility.

The non-carbonated elixir fails to impress, but it comes close to a passing grade. The flavor is the weakest link here, a diluted combination of orange, passion fruit and grapefruit, a balanced but banal cocktail of fruits who leave better impressions from other beverages. The harshest aspect is the tartness, a rumbling sourness who's puckering acridity is cleansed by the enthusiastic epicureanism for the insipid taste of water. Sweetness is arguably the best thing here, it is a grainy, hard hitting saccharinity that contains both syrupy and artificial characteristics, but it pleases your taste buds by introducing these elements only to wipe them clean by the potation's watery climax and undercurrent of acidity.

Each clear bottle-can hybrid contains: sodium, potassium, 100 calories, taurine, inositol, and 125 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is unspectacular, but if the intent of this product is to make the drinker feel like they have just consumed a sports drink, then they succeeded.

official site

Monday, June 5, 2017

Mtn Dew-S-A Review

The people at Pepsi must have been sitting around one day, looking at the calendar, and realized that they did not have any patriotic Mtn Dew variety. Quickly, instead of crafting a new flavor, they throw three previously released version in the same bottle and call it a day. Otherwise, I have no idea why Mtn Dew-S-A was made; its bottle is a jingoistic mess, hard to read with text scrolling and colorful strips that scroll in opposite directions.

The alleged flavor is a cocktail of their White Out, Voltage, and Code Red varieties, but I am not sure that is what this actually tastes like. There is a backbone of blue raspberry, the most potent sapor here, one that glosses over the subtle grapefruit and pineapple taste of White Out. Acidity is mild but present, an aftertaste of sweet cherries resides in the tranquil tartness, but both the fruit flavor and the sourness struggle to break free from the shackles of the potation's pervading saccharinity. It is an interesting sugariness, a sweetness that feels restrained on the palate, free of the brand's trademark syrupiness, but it takes just a few sips in and you realize that about all you can taste is sweetness, real or artificial; thanks to using high fructose corn syrup, as well as ace-k and sucralose. By the end of the bottle, Dew-S-A resembles more of a hybrid of Voltage and Diet Voltage than anything else.

Each bottle contains caffeine (ninety three milligrams), forty five grams of sugar, and an undisclosed amount of ginseng. If it sounds more like ingredients for an energy drink than a soda, you would be right, but the sub-hour-long kick says otherwise.

official site

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Maddox Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

Maddox Sugar Free's albino can gets the job done; it promotes its Austrian Alps artifice, has a slogan (Feel the Power), but it is tough to know this is diet with a quick glance. Its logo and low-calorie declaration is written in a font just a smidge too small, and following the swoosh at the bottom moves my eyes off of the can instead of around it.

Sugar Free Maddox's sweetener system of aspartame and ace-k is serviceable, but there is a touch of artificial aftertaste left after every sip. But it is buried deep beneath the beverage's tartness; even the flavors of vanilla and apple, with a touch of bubble gum, are lost in the wave of acidity, never holding conviction of the experience. But the star of this eight ounce drink is its sourness; it pierces your palate and holds on all the way through, and even some after you have recycled the can. It is a divisive decision, but I applaud its unbridled enthusiasm for a singular aspect of a beverage.

The kick lasts an hour and a half; that is the standard for eighty milligrams of caffeine. Other ingredients include taurine and B vitamins, and contains seven calories. In the end, Maddox Sugar Free is a Red Bull clone, but its taste has a focus, and it barrels towards that goal; it will pick up its fans on the journey.

official site

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Red Bull The Summer Edition Grapefruit Twist Energy Drink Review

Another summer comes another "Summer Edition" from the Red Bull family, this time grapefruit. Its can is quite attractive; it is simple, easy to read, and has a good balance of colors. But this naming convention, the whole "summer" thing gets confusing when you remember that the company has used this nom de plume in the past, only to change its name once the season ends.

The actual grapefruit flavor here is light, an ulterior taste that is never on the forefront of your tongue during the few gulps the twelve ounce can offers. The morning favorite fruit is shrouded behind the sweetener system, one that is at the same time syrupy and grainy. Thirty seven grams of sugar, sucrose and glucose, the saccharinity here builds in the back of your throat, clamming it to a saccharine halt where the sugariness is swiftly knocked aside by the potation's acidity. This tartness is otherwise understated throughout the experience, but it comes close to climaxing here, its potency augmenting until it collapses without much of a payoff- but that works here in cementing the beverage's reticent disposition. I liked every sip this Red Bull offered, an explorative take on a flavor not often experimented with.

Power is this drink's biggest flaw, a taciturn kick that stumbles on itself with only 114 milligrams of caffeine, B vitamins, and taurine. This produces only an hour and a half long buzz; tomfoolery I cannot sanction at its retail price of three plus bucks.

official site

Friday, May 12, 2017

Juice Monster Ripper Energy Drink Review

Juice Monster Ripper, aside from having a clumsy name, is supposedly a retooling of their previous drink M-80, though internet-only evidence is usually wafer-thin. But its can is a disappointment in either case, a revoltingly neon orange color, creamy but so relentlessly bright that it fatigues your eyes. There is no variation here, nothing interesting save for its textured aluminum, and even that is disenchanting.

Sips are wretched in offensive saccharinity, fifty grams of the sweet stuff and the potation's weak twenty percentage of juice (apple, passion fruit, pineapple, orange and lemon). But even the trained tongue can only taste the first three; the latter two flavors are quite inconsequential. What your palate can detect is fairly pleasant, a complex cocktail of nectars, however their honesty and idiosyncrasies are mislaid by the potable's unflagging sweetness, which dilutes their distinctions and transmutes them into parodies of their natural selves. Effervescence is muted, perfunctory carbonation that does only what the name "carbonated water" suggests.

Potency is another weak spot here, with a kick that lasts just two and a half hours. Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, and 152 milligrams of caffeine. In the end, a dissatisfying flavor, perturbed visuals and cursory kick puts the "RIP" in "Ripper."

official site

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Private Selection Hazelnut Espresso Beverage Review

One of three store-brand coffee drinks picked up from a local Kroger, Private Selection Hazelnut is a surprisingly handsome looking beverage. Its tall brown and silver backdrop is the perfect background for the small and sophisticated insignia, who's only fault is its slight prolix design.

It is a good thing I keep my fingers clean, as listening to the "shake gently" directions on the back of the can led to my digits becoming submerged in an effervescent espresso eruption as I yanked on the pull-top tab. First sip is a shockingly tasty one, a monumentally milky mixture with a smoothness that would have butter envious. But it is the taste that is the real pleasure here, that namesake hazelnut flavor is nutty in all the right places, adding its own organic bitterness to that from the otherwise placatory coffee beans. They taste just slightly roasted, adding additional pungent body to every imbibe. Only twenty eight grams of sugar sweeten this spumescent java, an amount designed to showcase the natural acridity of the nuts and the brew. But fattiness, four total grams, ends up lacking as the fifteen ounce experience approaches closure, its lardaceousness not as dynamic as the flavors demand.

B vitamins, vitamin C, A, and caffeine from coffee give a decent boost, but in the world of energy drinks, the two and a half hour long kick could have used an additional shot of espresso. On the whole, Private Selection Hazelnut is a generic coffee done right.
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. I do not take responsibility for any contents linked or referred to on my guest book/weblog. Photos are either mine or owned by there credited sources. All my photos are free to use without permission. If you see a picture that is yours and do not want it here, just email me and it will be removed.