Sunday, September 24, 2017

Bang Sour Heads Energy Drink Review

Bang is a pretty fantastic name for an energy drink, and although its can is clean and appealing, it lacks the exploding creativity its moniker suggests. The large "b" with a crosshair is a nice touch, but the large, blank background feels like something of a missed opportunity.

The flavor is not as sour as the can promises, actually, it is only mildly acidic; what a disappointment! In terms of flavor, there is not much to speak of, a muddled cocktail of grapefruit, green apple and lemon, cloaked by coarse carbonation and an overwhelming artificial sweetener taste, from the ace-k and sucralose used. It is not a sweet drink, but your tongue feels the burn from the synthetic sugars as well as the overcoming quantity of supplement ingredients; you sip constantly hoping to wash the slightly metallic, almost bitter stain off your palate, only for each subsequent imbibe to introduce reinforcements for the unpleasant aftertaste.

Each can contains: B vitamins, vitamin C, coenzyme Q10, creatine, and 300 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is without a doubt the best thing about this produce, a kick lasting well north of the three hour range, if you can stomach the taste. Overall, Bang Sour Heads' potency is only thing that gives you any bang for your buck.

official site

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Hype Enlite Energy Drink Review

Rising from the grave is the Hype line, a brand not seen on this site in six years! This time, Enlite's can has more purple and a bit less pink than it had all those years ago when I last reviewed it, however it is no more interesting. The giant white brand name is at least easy to read, however the smaller "energy" and the subsequent cursive text is difficult to decipher.

The crystal clear liquid sits flatly on the tongue, a dull and metallic experience mewed with minuscule sweetness and even less flavor. It is an awful cocktail, a Red Bull clone bitter with its blend of apple, vanilla, and citrus, all so chemical-tasting with a hebetudinous texture that weighs down the already uncharismatically carbonated experience. The three savors sit dissonantly stitched together, with every unfortunate gulp you feel the explicit walls between each dissentient sapor. The stannic flavor from the can perverts each of the many obnoxious sips of this tatterdemalion potable, interdicting the three-part sugar-system of sucralose, ace-k and actual sugar from actual sugaring. Overall, Hype Enlite needs some enlightening.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 152 milligrams of caffeine. The ingredient blend lamentably loses eight milligrams of my namesake chemical and some others, however the kick is equally unceleritous. In the end, Hype Enlite's tepid reformulation took bad and made it worse.

official site

Friday, September 8, 2017

Rockstar Revolt Killer Black Cherry Energy Drink Review

Rockstar Revolt Killer Black Cherry is a joyless looking energy drink, using the same template the company has used for years. At this point only some text and colors change between releases, leaving me jaded of a design that was unappealing to begin with.

The taste here is a massive misfire, surely one of Rockstar's least successful beverages. Or at least, it is one of their worst drinks that have a normal flavor (remember, this is the company that makes a cucumber drink). Nothing works here, every aspect operates independently from each other, an under-oiled machine where flavor, sugar, acidity, and carbonation work as individuals and not as a whole. Sweetness proves to be the experience's biggest flaw, sixty eight grams of pure sugar, causing the calorie count to be a completely inexcusable 280. But it is a saccharinity that tastes dull, never quite sweet enough to combat the potation's piercing acerbity- and it is a tartness that is painfully incomplete without a harmonious sweetness. Effervescence is another downfall, slumberous bubbles barely lift the drink from feeling flat on the palate.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, milk thistle, and 240 milligrams of caffeine. That last part is the only reason to drink this trash, as it births a wonderful three and a half hour long kick. To end, Revolt Killer Black Cherry should be killed off the Rockstar line.

official site

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Monster Hydro Mean Green Energy Drink Review

Another plastic can, another day. Monster Hydro's next variety "Mean Green" sounds less like a Gatorade clone and more like a nickname for the company's signature beverage. Its design is much cleaner than most offerings from the brand, particularly refreshing is the lack of any cheap "texture" on the walls of the packaging, but... well, let me get this out there... what the hell flavor is "mean green?"

First sip exposes the potable's cheap, diluted lemon-lime taste, a generic flavor profile who is thin on the tongue and rather under sweetened. The lack of carbonation is a double-edged sword, a textural break from the general malaise of other energy drinks, but imbibes become thickened and heavy, weighing down the palate with real and fake sugars, a blend of sugar, glucose and sucralose. But the sugars lack the heft the citruses demand; sure, there twenty three grams of the caloric stuff, but a cloying, syrupy sweetness lacks the mouthfeel something more balanced, more natural and honest. The lemon and lime flavors are deficient in acidity, as well as general vigor, and pine for something to take control of the ennui experience. By your last gulp you are excited to toss the bottle away, and reach for something to relieve your mouth from this sticky, sappy and generally weird beverage.

Each bottle contains several B vitamins, taurine, inositol, and 125 milligrams of caffeine. As an energy drink, it lacks the functionality expected, with the kick lasting about an hour and a half. And for a "hydration" product? Well let me just say, I spent about twenty minutes out in the hot summer sun, and this sixteen plus ounce drink did not refresh me any more than a glass of water would have.

official site

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Legendary Sunshine Ginger Berry Energy Drink Review

This pale can sorely lacks the bright burst of color of its Clementine Twist sister variant. Its packed full of text, too many fonts and too little cohesiveness, nothing about this can informs consumers it is flavored of "ginger berry." It is a rather unique mix up, but the design does not care to play up this combination.

I am not sure if there is anything legendary here, but the flavor profile is on the cusp of spectacular. Ginger is the main event here, sweeter like a glass of Vernors, with a spicy punch of the starring spice. Effervescence is curt and abrasive and really punches through the stale mouthfeel of Stevia, who alongside cane sugar make up the saccharinity cocktail here. But the can claiming the taste of berry is a waste of space on the can; you can taste a hint of blueberry lurking beneath every imbibe, but the pungent sweetness of the ginger chokes out almost any surviving nuance of the fruit. Marketing this as a golden ginger ale would have been the wiser rout.

Each can contains: vitamin B12 and fifty milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is a disappointment- the flavor is so potent you would expect the following buzz to be just as forceful. Instead, it lasts a tacky hour, maybe less, but fortunately without jitters. In the end, Legendary Sunshine Ginger Berry desperately needs a shot of caffeine and a more consistent marketing. You can leave the flavor alone however- it is great as it is.

official site

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Arizona Fruit Punch Natural Energy Drink Review

This big purple can is wall to wall with writing, a large font that makes things easy to read, yes, but any personality, any design or visual interest is blurred behind the tower of text. The color choice of purple is a questionable one, considering the supposed flavor of fruit punch; the traditional punch is a bright red, though I am all for something a bit against the grain here.

The smells of fermented juice cascade out of the can, the cloudy heliotrope colored cocktail unimpressively decants from the shrink-wrapped transport. This Arizona fares far better upon opening gulp, a sharply tart liquid that splashes your palate with vigor, your entire mouth nearly wincing in surprise from the acidic cooler. The actual blend of fruits contains the usual suspects: mango, apple, pear, green grape, and pineapple, but it is a listless creation. Rather than tasting like a complex flavor, composed of many individual flavors, here everything is tasted adjacent each other, one after the other, giving the potation its only character. Things are non-carbonated, which give sips a heavy profile; the mouthfeel's corpulence comes from the coconut water, a thicker texture than anticipated, and something effervescence could have lightened up.

Each can contains B vitamins, vitamin C, guarana, teas, and 120 milligrams of caffeine. Potency is a bit weaker than you would want, but its a decent, hour and a half hour long one. On the whole, Fruit Punch Energy ends up being on the stronger entries from the Arizona brand.

official site

Monday, August 7, 2017

Core Lemon Ginger Energy Drink Review

I guess I am a pushover for the color gold; it gives the stale Core design its sparkle, a luxury sheen the can otherwise outdated pattern. There is not much in the way of text, but aside from its color scheme, there is little inspiration here, with generic arches and a disenchanting organization.

While the can leaves something to be desired, the taste is magnificent, a slightly sweet but acidic punch of spice and citrus. Predominantly lemon, the tastes of lime and grapefruit rumble beneath the bright yellow fruit flavor, but it is the fragrant seasoning that breathes the creativity into every imbibe. Yes, you can taste the ginger, but each sip reveals more than that; little by little the flavors of green tea and cinnamon widen the already bulged peculiarity. Carbonation disappoints, a deadened, practically non-existent effervescence leaving my palate embittered by the false "sparkling" statement at the top brim of the can. Sweetness is another sore spot here, accomplished via erythritol, cane sugar and stevia. At initial sip, the saccharinity appears deliberately distant, but by the last remaining ounces, you learn that beverage itself is just under-sugared.

Each can contains 100 mg of guarana, coffee beans, yerba mate, and green tea, or at least that is where the caffeine here comes from. But yet the actual content of caffeine itself is nowhere to be found; is it the 100 mg? Is it less? Why is this so difficult to figure out?  Overall, Core Lemon Ginger makes a few too many fundamental fumbles for a complete recommendation.
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