Saturday, December 8, 2018

Yachak Berry Red Energy Drink Review

I gotta say, the can to Yachak Berry Red is pretty awesome. Its unorthodox background is packed with too much detail, there is far too much text, and the name frankly does not make much sense, but I am all for its zaniness.

The flavor is a misstep, a flat experience that packs too little flavor within the first few imbibes. The lack of effervescence is a major downfall upon introduction, leaving the liquid to languish without any personality, no texture or character to offer our palate. It honestly tastes like tap water for the opening quaffs, full of funky mineral notes and nuances, only not really as bad as that sounds. But as sips are taken, the subtly births out from the languid liquid, a slight sourness breaking through the overarching earthiness. It is the flavor of cranberry, as distant tasting an interpretation of the bog-growing fruit if I had ever had one. It is really not a bad tasting energy drink, just an eccentric one.

Each can contains 160 milligrams of caffeine, thanks to the yerba mate the can so proudly tells me is "organic." The buzz is pretty solid, a clean buzz that lasts two and a half hours. Yachak Berry Red Energy is an unwonted cocktail that ultimately does more right than wrong.

official site

Friday, November 30, 2018

Realtree Outdoors Emerald Ice Energy Drink Review

The Realtree Outdoor varieties just keep on coming, with the latest being Emerald Ice. It is a nebulous flavor indication, a frustrating theme for the brand; how do I, average Joe the energy drink drinker, know what "Emerald Ice" will taste like? Do I simply make the plunge and fork over a few bucks? On a side note, the back of the can continues the line's tradition of having ridiculous statements, this time it reads "I like cold wind in my face." I am sorry, Realtree, but I prefer decent looking drinks.

Lemon lime is the proposed flavor, and it is a surprisingly competent attempt upon first sip, though far from entirely successful. High fructose corn syrup does the sweetening, but this soda-inspired elixir benefits from its inherent syrupiness, giving things a very honest soft drink experience. But the fifty six grams of sugar creates a languid libation that dissolves into tasting purely of sugar by the time your third or forth quaff splashes your palate. It is a shame, as the actual taste was quite charming, a citrus cocktail uniquely paced with an acidity that straddles the line between natural and candied. By the time the saccharine sixteen ounces sit at the pit of your stomach, the last few drops are gritty, grains of the empty calories give the cloying cooler brief relief from the muculent mouthfeel.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and caffeine. The back of the can does not bother with the quantity of my namesake, unfortunate, however the kick itself is less than impressive, lasting two hours with some jitters. In the end, Realtree Outdoor Emerald Ice lives curiously on the cusp of being decent, but a myriad of mistakes drag the overall product down a few pegs.

official site

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Gas Monkey Energy Drink Review

Black and green color scheme makes for a far from attractive can, even if the mad monkey is a hoot and a half. The flavor I'm guessing is Red Bull clone, giving the use of an animal in the name and the lack of any flavor indication, but we will not know until we crack open the screaming simian.

The flavor is quite far from the Red Bull clone I denounced it earlier- this is a full-on apple extravaganza. There is not an ounce of real fruit taste in any of the sixteen offered, a complete exploitation of your childhood sweetmeat apple candy, and the success of Gas Monkey depends on your tolerance of super saccharine, and aggressively acidic flavors. To be honest, it is not too shabby, I suppose I was just in the mood for some liquid candy today.

Each can contains 160 milligrams of caffeine, which provides you the most generic kick imaginable. It is a shame, too, as both the can and taste are rather extreme exercises in personality. Other ingredients include: B-vitamins, taurine, guarana, ginseng, and inositol. To end, Gas Monkey is a disappointing entry in your market's chill chest.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Red Bull The Winter Edition Energy Drink Review

It is the Holiday season, and even energy drinks are celebrating. Red Bull The Winter Edition is plum flavored, a first on the site, but why? Take a look at all the flavors on your table this Holiday, there are plenty of other tastes to take inspiration from! (I suppose it is better than tasting like "coal.") The can itself is far from festive; sure, the can is colored correctly, but where are the lights? The snow? The fat man in pajamas?

The flavor is fabulous, however, a sweet, acidic adventure into a darker realm of unexplored fruits. Sucrose and glucose sweeten, an all real-sugar blend that introduces a texture that is synchronously grainy and syrupy, but in a good way. The mouthfeel is never boring, giving the product an excuse to be saccharine. It tampers any excess sugariness by distracting your tastebuds with its delicate rhythm of smooth and coarseness. The sensational sourness is another satisfying characteristic, one that goes beyond just being "tart" and lies on the cusp of curling your lips; it is really a charming acidity. The pitted produce is the star of the experience, and has heavy notes of cherry and apricot rustling around with every gulp. But calling this just "plum" is a misdemeanor; it is a complicated network of textures and fruits, deserving more mainstream marketing than its current can offers.

Red Bull's kicks have always been rather disappointing, and Winter's buzz is no different. It lasts an hour and a half, not very long for something so expensive (running me almost three dollars, and I think I got it on sale). All in all, Red Bull The Winter Edition tastes significantly better than its saturnine looks and milquetoast potency deserve.

official site

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Xing Grapefruit Energy Drink Review

The can to Xing Grapefruit is cluttered, for sure, but it is an organized mess, with text zooming in various directions and textures busying already hard to read text. The promised flavor is a welcome one too, as the humble citrus is a flavor hardly played with in the world of energy drinks.

Another non-carbonated surprise, I just cannot help but we surprised on first imbibe when the sweet nectar lacks that expected effervescence. But it works here, a lot more effective than the company's Tangerine offering. Fifty two grams of sugar, all of it from the cane, offer just enough sweetness; no one imbibe overwhelms as other drinks can sometimes do. It is a saccharinity that truly understands the fruit it is paired with, one that intensifies as gulps are gulped, clumping slightly in the back of your throat as the can is quickly emptied. That flavor itself is only faintly acidic, benefiting more from the honeyed ingredient than the tart aspects. Overall, a tasty little grapefruit drink.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, inositol, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is the most stock aspect here, lacking the personality of the can as well as the plucky energy of the flavor- it is just "meh." In the end, Xing Grapefruit is a fine example where doing nothing particularly exceptional can craft a fairly good product.

official site

Monday, October 29, 2018

Arriba Horchata Energy Drink Review

Found very north of the border, this Latin-inspired energy horchata is a treat for the eyes- its simple two tone color scheme keeps things tidy, and the hipster skull is a charming touch. It is not perfect; your average consumer of potent potables will likely have no idea what the supposed flavor is, but color me excited.

With only Rockstar's attempt available for comparison on the Caffeine King, the flavor Arriba achieved is splendid. Its thick, a gram and a half of fat giving imbibes a lovely lardaceous mouthfeel without overwhelming the dizzyingly array of subtle moments. Your palate will love the subdued cinnamon and nutmeg flavors, but the star of every sip is the ricey, malty potency. It is nutty, slightly roasted, and a wonderful departure from your common Red Bull clone that fill store shelves. It is sweetened perfectly, a slightly grainy saccharinity itself which only deepens the bulgering complexity on your tongue. It is 200 calories though, a lot for an eleven ounce drink, but it is a rare drink worth its count in carbohydrates.

Each can contains: taurine, panax ginseng, inositol, but only seventy six milligrams of caffeine. The kick, all one hour of it, is the only disappointment here- the flavor is complex enough to mask the addition of additional caffeine! Overall, Arriba Horchata Energy knocks one out of the park here, though the kick keeps it from being a sure-fire win.


Sunday, October 21, 2018

Bang Purple Haze Energy Drink Review

The can is as dull as it always is, a cool name with a design so brazenly disinteresting. Where is the fun? Where is the hype? There is 300 milligrams of caffeine here, you would think that would help define the label's focus.

No silly tricks here- Bang Purple Haze is grape all the way, and it is a pretty decent one, considering the artificial sweeteners had to mask all the chemicals. It is soda-inspired no doubt, super sweet, actually, it is  relentlessly saccharine and it bogs down your palate, remaining deep inside your taste buds; do not be surprised to be eating dinner later that week and be wondering why your steak has a distant "sweetness" to it. Yet, all the supplements listed on the back of the can, most of which I doubt do anything pure caffeine can't do, the experience here is a fairly standard sugar free grape energy drink, nothing more and fortunately nothing less.

Each can contains 300 milligrams of caffeine. How about that! There are plenty of other things listed on the back of the can, from B vitamins to creatyl-l-leucine. Know what that is? Well you do not need to- just know that the caffeine gives a rocking buzz, lasting three and a half hours without hesitation. Overall, Bang Purple Haze's amazingly boring can and amazingly average taste are slightly overruled by its dynamite kick.

official site
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