Fast Energy Fountain Drink Review

This cheap fountain energy drink, found in a dumpy little convenience store where the ice dispenser is likely dirtier than both the floors and the people in line. Its sticker, representing the packing here, is what happens when you give five dollars to a failing graphic design student at the local community college; blue font on a black background, with distracting bolts of lightning interrupting the vertical text. Bromidic and lazy, but the lack of any flavor indication leaves us expecting the inevitable Red Bull clone.

The unpleasantly sweet taste of Sweet Tart candies, without the tartness, and sticky vanilla wash the entire mouth, with a medical bitterness that lingers almost as long as the extreme saccharinity. There is a hint of tartness, distant and deadened by the syntheticness and sugariness. The boring beverage gums into a mucky mess at first sip, and just gets thicker the forty four ounces are forcefully supped. You chock the gooey gunk down and, thanks to the wonderfully warm weather, the filtered crushed ice begins to melt, diluting the already weak flavor.

Tons of sugar is the only ingredient guaranteed, well, along with (probably artificial) flavoring and preservatives. Caffeine is likely, as well as guarana and ginseng, well, and some B vitamins. The kick is mostly a sugar rush, lasting two hours before the rough crash. In the end, Fast Energy is something you should run away fast from.