There is a brief, solitary moment to G Fuel here, several seconds in, that had me smiling, shocked at my own low expectations the visuals help establish and looking forward to another gulp. Cherry, lime and blue raspberry all appear in their most childlike expressions, pounding the palate with zero understanding of how produce works in the real world. (And, I hear one of the three is not even a real fruit!) But soon, it would happened. This is an unpleasantly still beverage, despite carbonated water being marked first in the ingredients, as if a melted mouthful of snow cone dripped out of one of those paper pyramid cups and onto my trepidatious tongue. This means sixteen ounces of underwhelming textural stimulation, which would not be such a big deal if "it" was not still to come. If you in the audience were thinking "sweetness," then gosh darn it, you were right; sucralose and ace-k are simply not up to the challenge of crafting a competent saccharinity today, instead tasting like chemicals and falsehoods. And it is here where the artificial turns into the aggressively unpleasant, taking over the fruity fun from before. Any competent cocktail would have given us some acidity to help distract from how lousy it really is, but alas, this is no such sufficing soft drink.
300 milligrams of caffeine!? That is a lot and my body was all for it, even if the journey was a vulgar one. But it did not need to be this way; does G Fuel not want to look good and to taste good? Do they want to suck? Because this one does.
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