Thursday, December 31, 2009

Your Drink Sucks: 2009

Obviously inspired by a certain film critic, I've decided to do an overview of the year, and single out the worst of the worst, and/or the highly disappointing. Hopefully, this will become an annual thing, and who knows, perhaps I may even do an overview of the best of the best. This list is in no real order.

*Note, these are not necessarily drinks that were released in 2009, but drinks that I reviewed in 2009.




Jolt Orange Blast: I find Jolt Orange Blast to be a drink full of "ifs." If only the can was more appealing, if only the taste was more appetizing, and if only the kick didn't end in a crash. Whether for $2.99 or $.99, Jolt Orange Blast is nothing more than a "been there done that, better" product...2.2/5








Stacker 2 YJ Sinful Citrus: If you've got $.60 to blow and can somehow look past its bad can, taste and kick, then by all means buy it, but for anyone else, avoid...2.6/5








Hype MFP: Overall, I feel that Hype MFP is a below average energy drink... In a year when Hype MFP is at Big Lots for $.50 it might be worth a look, but since it currently retails for for $1.50 to $2.00, I have no other choice but to say avoid unless your interested in an overall unappealing disappointment of an energy drink...2.5/5










lo-carb buzzed: It's evident through its laughably bad can design, run-of-the-mill taste, and average kick that lo-carb buzzed wasn't created for any reason other to ride of the success of Red Bull, and make a quick buck. lo-carb buzzed is a truly meaningless product that isn't worth it's $1.50 price tag...2.4/5











Vital Water Energize Dragon Fruit: This is one of the worst energy drinks I've ever had... This is a truly horrible drink that's a disgrace to energy drinks and there drinkers every where...2.2/5









Lightning Rods Beef Stick: I'm really disappointed, almost disgusted with how bad Lightning Rods turned out. For a product that is supposed to give you a five hour buzz, it's really sad that it didn't even come close. All in all, Lightning Rods are not worth their $1.49 price tag and should be skipped...2.3/5









Black Jack Gunpowder Energy Tea: ... is one of the worst drinks ever to be graced by the word "energy." The can, the taste, and the kick were all bad, which still amazes me. There is nothing redeemable through out the whole experience of the drink, except maybe reaching the end of the drink. Black Jack Energy Tea is a drink that could of been good, but in the end it was all just a syrupy mess...1.8/5






Power Edge Wild Berry: Power Edge Wild Berry is nothing more than a second rate energy drink mix. While the packet was good, the taste was disgraceful and the kick was poor. Nothing about this powdered drink was great and it is products like this that make me really hate my job. If there was one area that I was really displeased with it would have to be the taste. Not only was it a chore to drink but it really brought the overall score down. All in all, Power Edge Wild Berry is more dull than the drink mix colour itself...2/5










Sol mate Sparkling Yerba Mate' Original: Sol mate' is a perfect example of how not to make an all-natural energy drink...2/5










Red Bull: Red Bull is a truly unimpressive energy drink not worthy of being the biggest name in energy drinks...2.6/5










NOS Powershot: Overall, NOS Powershot is not only a disgrace the NOS line, but to energy products in general. This could of been the saving grace to the poor NOS line, but it instead turned out to be a badly dressed, bitter weak disappointment. The Whole NOS line in general has been pretty bad, but at least they all had something to keep them from completely failing, but not NOS Powershot. Avoid NOS Powershot at all cost. I got mine from Big Lots for $1, and I have to say I paid too much...1.6/5








Frappio Lite: All and all, Frappio Light Energy Coffee is a mediocre, almost pathetic excuse for a coffee energy drink...2.5/5











24:7: ...24:7 is a bottom feeder of an energy drink. Nothing about this drink is new, exciting, fresh, revolutionary, or even good. The can was boring, the taste was a blatant rip off, and the kick was lower than below average. While I'm not saying that drink is the worst, it is far from the best, heck, it's far from mediocre. Overall, 24:7 is a shameless Red Bull wannabe that isn't worth its overpriced $1.99 price tag...2/5





Nearly the entire amp line: The amp line is one of the most overrated, disappointing, odious, and down right worst lines to ever be blessed with the word "energy." Some may say I'm too hard on the line, but I say others are too easy... The highest rated amp is original(3.9/5), and the lowest is Tradin' Paint(2/5).




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