The Caffeine King's Law states that, what smells like medicine will taste like medicine, and that is exactly what happens here. The caramel colored cocktail had never seen nor tasted a cherry before, be it from nature or candy store; the fruit deconstructed and destroyed so brutally that the usual features we look for, like sweetness or acidity, are nothing but words in my review. With zero total grams of sugar, it should come at no surprise that sucralose and ace-k are the experience's sweetener system, but they prove no match for the overwhelming taste of chemicals inside this pretty can. Effervescence is another sore spot, sips sipping like the thousands of little bubbles that should be present peaced out in protest. As I suffered through ounce after ounce, my tongue became so deadened to the antipathetic astringency that things almost resembled a lousy cherry cola. There is no vanilla here, no spice and certainly nothing I would ever willingly drink again, but somehow, the essence of the fleshy drupe sneaks its ugly head in, like a seltzer on a bad day. This is an anti-energy drink.
We at least get 200 milligrams of caffeine, as well as ginseng, taurine and vitamins, but did you not just read what this tastes like? You should run, far away, and just get yourself some Peeps instead. This potent potable just sucks, I would rather be alone on February 14th than suffer through this again. Thank you Alani Nu for getting the "worst energy drink of 2026" out of the way for me just two months in.
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