A measly six percent juice content is apparently enough to call yourself "juice" these days; back in my day, energy drinks had something like, half the total amount of actual nectar, but I digress. The first fruit to appear is white grape, followed by lessening amounts of apple, red grape, concord grape and finally plum, and in theory this should produce a layered flavor, challenging you to think with each passing imbibe. But no, Monster here was uninterested in nuance, supplementing complexity with a saccharinity somehow kept below your average person's daily recommended amount. Thirty six grams and all added, come from that familiar band of sugar, glucose and sucralose. Their handling of the sweetness is able to keep the experience from disintegrating into a syrupy mess, at least. The grape itself is basic and unchallenging, but not as aggressive as an actual cupful of the juice you would buy from the store. It strikes right between munching on both red and green grapes simultaneously, though obviously without the actual health benefits. That is not to say this is not pleasant, because it most certainly is. The child in me adored its innocence, filling my head with recollections of sucking on frozen ice pops in the summer heat. Problem is, I am now a grumpy elder pissed that the memories are now just that.
Just 160 milligrams of caffeine, come on, man, can we not get a few more just once? Vitamins and other supplements (ranging from taurine to inositol) also appear on the back of the crazy can. Overall, Juice Monster Voodoo Juice may be easy to drink, but it holds itself back by a relentless familiarity, and chronic lack of ambition to do anything about it.
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