Dirty Mountain Dew Zero Sugar Cream Soda Dew Review

I am, if anything, happy that Mountain Dew has decided to actually tell us the alleged flavor with their newest variety. I do not, however, think there is anything dirty about cream soda, which should be velvety, rich, and, ahem, creamy- what kind of soft drinks have they been having? The can is alright, surely busy enough to keep the most immature eyes distracted from the fact you cannot really tell what is going on. Is that a desert? Is that space? Who knows?

I love a good cream soda, but Dirty Mountain Dew proves that I do not love a cream soda mixed with caffeinated citrus. Actually, that is not entire fair: the spice chosen today is a cheap one, chemical and hollow, missing the weighty smoothness of one from a small-time soft drink manufacturer who still uses glass bottles. This is in heavy contrast to the fruit, which is your usual blend of lemon, lime, melon and grapefruit. That familiar blend goes the expected candied route, living in luxury at the decision to use synthetic sugars sucralose and ace-k. This fakeness only amplifies the cream's falsehood flavor, meaning you get twelve ounces of a cheap, carbonated sherbet covered in frost way in the back of a dingy discount store's end chill-chest. A splash or two of actual milk, even if it bumped up the calorie count a tad, could have rescued this from The Caffeine King's annual "Your Drink Sucks" list, but alas, I can only review the drink in front of me, not the one I improve in my head.

Sixty eight milligrams of caffeine, in all respects, is pretty decent for a soda sold in twelve packs. The only problem is, I have another eleven cans to suffer through.

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