Friday, August 10, 2018

Lidl Energy Drink Review

Gee, I wonder what this eight ounce drink is on Lidl store shelves? Oh right, it is an energy drink- one without any sort of name! I scoured the small can in search of any generic brand, and only the word "Classic" comes anywhere close, though my wager is that it means this is a Red Bull clone. Nevertheless, Lidl, please give your store brands actual names! You are not Jewel-Osco.

The flavor is Red Bull all the way, a metallic, synthetic venture through the antediluvian flavors of the energy drinks of yesteryear- how do beverages this brazen still get made? It is a mess of the usual suspects here, vanilla, apple and citrus, perhaps even some bubble gum notes, arranged haphazardly and sipping lethargically. Sweetness comes to us by invert sugar syrup and glucose-fructose syrup, twenty four grams of the sticky stuff, and it does its best to jazz up the anesthetized tastes we have tasted dozens if not hundreds of other times. There is a good acidity as well here, another distraction from the potable's journey back in time to the energy drink stone age.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and seventy five milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is your average hour in length, middling in strength, and completely unremarkable. Actually, the only thing worth noting here is the lack of a name, and that is not exactly a screaming endorsement.

3 comments:

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