Celsius Astro Vibe Energy Drink Review

Not to be confused with their similarly named "Arctic Vibe" variety, Celsius' Astro Vibe is but a few visual tweaks away from looking identical. And it is not even that attractive a design, packed with text that is hardly ever necessary; why is "Astro Vibe" written twice? In two different fonts, sizes and colors!? Or how about the "burns fat" gimmick? You would think in the world of Ozempic and similar pharmaceuticals that an artifice like that would more prominently featured on the tiny twelve ounce real estate.

It might be a late contender, but this is easily the worst thing I have tasted all year and is surely to win the "Your Drink Sucks" list this year. It mutates from medicinal to blue raspberry to artificial sweetener back to medicine, all within the matter of the few moments you can stomach this crap sitting on your poor and disappointed palate. All the supplements crammed inside the aluminum walls means there is a lot of herbal funk to be suppressed, and they call upon sucralose, the lone sweetener involved here, to keep things commercial, but all you end up tasting are both the supplements and the synthetic sugar. What little acidity is present is immediately killed by all of the above, so your sips quickly become gulps as you try to get this over with as soon as possible. This is a sleazy soft drink, absolute garbage, and if that still is not enough for you, how about: tawdry, discreditable, ignominious, inglorious and gaudy. Does that help? I could go on but, I do not get paid by the word.

The buzz is good here, lasting three hours without question, but 200 milligrams of caffeine will do that. Other things, such as vitamin C, B vitamins, taurine and guarana, also show up but so what? I am in no mood. Actually, that is not true: I am in a bad mood, and Celsius Astro Vibe put me in it.

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