Joggy Pineapple Crush Energy Drink Review

What a strange little product Joggy is: its eight ounce can is short and fat, its emerald label consisting of only text, stuck on like a sticker. To be honest, when first spotted at my local Target, its look betrayed by what my eyes usually associate as "energy drink," but I assure you, this little piece of metal is most definitely a caffeinated cocktail.

Pouring out a dully opaque gold, this certainly looks as if it contains twenty seven percent juice. And then that first sip is taken, and its unorthodox acidity had my face practically curling up on itself. And that is coming from me, an individual who loves sour soft drinks, but Joggy here lacks the sweetness to backup the tart calamity. There are six grams of sugar, but all of it is derived from the contained pineapple and lime nectar, fruits who run amok without any carbohydrate surveillance. This sadly means the experience tastes just wrong, and a PB&J without the jelly. All the unsupervised pungency results also in the unfortunate textural side-effects, where things feel slippery and unsatisfying to sip. A bit of honest sucrose or something could have given mouthfuls that gripping texture my tongue oh-so pined for. But alas, I am stuck with a dreaded few remaining ounces of undercooked ambition.

Though containing l-theanine and guayusa, it is the 150 milligrams of caffeine that makes my heart all warm and fuzzy inside. The buzz is pretty good too, though my favorite thing about Joggy Pineapple Crush is a line of text on the back of the can that reads "...contains 100% plant-based ingredients, excluding water."

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