Steaz Berry Zero Energy Drink Review

The Steaz company is back, with that comes a brand new can. Its an OK design, a very clean package, but lacking the svelte look of the previous redesign. I do appreciate the little fruit and herb illustrations however, but things here lack the edge is 100 milligrams of caffeine demands- drawings have the aluminum walls looking childish.

Flavor-wise, this is surprisingly palatable, though there are a few rough patches. The biggest no-no is sweetness, definitely. Erythritol and Stevia are the sugar duo here, but they are bogged down by the weight of the tastes of all the supplements and herbs- the yerba mate and green tea in particular washes the benign berry flavor away with their biting bitterness. Now I am all for a unique experience, a flavor less sweet than the thousands of other products, but close your eyes and you would swear every imbibe was from a generic "unsweetened canned green tea." What you can taste of the nebulous "berry" moniker is pleasant enough, but where as the earlier diet Steaz had a taste rich in acai nuance and apple influence, as well as hints of vanilla and lemon, the Steaz today is a one-note blueberry beverage. But it is diluted to the point of blandness, only exacerbated by the aforesaid acridity. The carbonation is wholly agreeable though, never strident and sips with relative ease; I feared a harsher effervescence from the "sparkling water" listed in the ingredients.

Kick-wise, there is a lot to like here, granting a clean boost with 100 milligrams of caffeine. It is short lived, but what energy you can extract here is quite nice. Each can also contains: B vitamins, vitamin C, yerba mate, guarana, and green tea. To end, Steaz Berry Zero has been reviewed here twice before, but despite all the revamps, I would never choose it over other organic energy drinks.

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Dark Dog Organic 50 Calories Energy Drink Review

Dark Dog Organic 50 Calories is a terrible name; "50 Calories" is a prolix and clumsy way of saying "lite." But the name "Dark Dog" does not make any sense on this largely silver design, as the only thing dark here is the tiny picture of the namesake dog and some black text. That portion of the beverage is the traditional hardcore look for an energy drink, but that clashes with the "Organic" title and predominate look of the elixir.

The original Dark Dog Organic was a successfully peculiar take on the traditional Red Bull formula, but stripping the potable of sugar brings the flavor to the realm of bargain bin energy drinks. Effervescence is dead-on-arrival, leaving the heavy liquid to bog down your palate and test your gag reflex. The creamy vanilla and playful bubble gum of the full-calorie variety are extinguished here, resulting in a flavor that is pure bitter nastiness from all the extracts, juices, and the yerba mate, a tiring triptych that never works in trying to craft a cohesive caffeinated cocktail.

Each can contains: vitamin C, B vitamins, a legion of extracts and 114 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is the strongest player here, but it is still only a two hour kick. In the end, Dark Dog Organic 50 Calories is a nonsensical energy drink that is almost astonishingly agonizing.

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Joggy Pineapple Crush Energy Drink Review

What a strange little product Joggy is: its eight ounce can is short and fat, its emerald label consisting of only text, stuck on like a sticker. To be honest, when first spotted at my local Target, its look betrayed by what my eyes usually associate as "energy drink," but I assure you, this little piece of metal is most definitely a caffeinated cocktail.

Pouring out a dully opaque gold, this certainly looks as if it contains twenty seven percent juice. And then that first sip is taken, and its unorthodox acidity had my face practically curling up on itself. And that is coming from me, an individual who loves sour soft drinks, but Joggy here lacks the sweetness to backup the tart calamity. There are six grams of sugar, but all of it is derived from the contained pineapple and lime nectar, fruits who run amok without any carbohydrate surveillance. This sadly means the experience tastes just wrong, and a PB&J without the jelly. All the unsupervised pungency results also in the unfortunate textural side-effects, where things feel slippery and unsatisfying to sip. A bit of honest sucrose or something could have given mouthfuls that gripping texture my tongue oh-so pined for. But alas, I am stuck with a dreaded few remaining ounces of undercooked ambition.

Though containing l-theanine and guayusa, it is the 150 milligrams of caffeine that makes my heart all warm and fuzzy inside. The buzz is pretty good too, though my favorite thing about Joggy Pineapple Crush is a line of text on the back of the can that reads "...contains 100% plant-based ingredients, excluding water."

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Guru Yerba Mate Organic Energy Drink Review

GURU returns to The Caffeine King, an organic variety this time with a deep blue background: it is an appealing looking energy drink. Since we last saw the brand here waaaay back in 2016, not much has changed, outside of a taller can, things have hardly changed. Not that that is a bad thing, but the visuals remain busy to the point of distraction.

Yerba mate is one of those things that just does not smell too good. I have had decent tasting potables with the plant, but this is not something you would splash on behind your ears ahead of the office holiday party. The flavor is strange, the herbal funk loud and proud for a most alienating experience. Cane sugar, monk fruit juice and stevia are the sweeteners and despite that description, this is not a saccharine product. You sip and almost wince at the unorthodox liquid you just splashed onto your tongue, but not every energy drink needs to be caffeinated candy. What rescues the potable from a sad life of misbegotten drinks is citrus, thanks to actual lemon juice; it introduces a sourness just strong enough to keep things from sitting bitter on your palate. This is tough to review because it is tough to drink, but it is not tough to appreciate.

We have 142 milligrams of caffeine, which is just enough to craft a noticeable buzz. It does not last as long a second longer than two hours, but I have reviewed plenty of weak crap here, and this is not crap. Overall, GURU Yerba Mate Organic is not for everybody, but it is refreshingly different. Not always for the better, but refreshing.

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Rockstar Organic Island Fruit Energy Drink Review

This mess of a can, the only organic energy drink from Rockstar, comes to us in a sloppy, hastily slapped together package. Its green, yeah we get it, because "nature is green," with faux woodgrain like the interior of a mid-luxury car. Tons of text titters around the can, with the words "energy" and "organic" fortunately easy to find and read. Otherwise, the words read with inconsistent font, size, color, and importance.

There is oodles of sweetness here, derived from true cane sugar and pierces through the organic grasp of every sip, along side some slight sourness. You taste the intricacies of green coffee and guarana, their bitter depth cut only by the balanced sugariness, climaxing with nuances of passion fruit and mango; the fruity finish accented by a mushed punch of a myriad of fruits. What follows is a biting zenith of coarse astringency swiftly subdued by one last wave of honey. But it is the effervescence who is the backbone here: it livens the stalwart earthiness and levels off the sweetness, maintaining an experience where each imbibe never weighs mundanely on the tongue while never forgetting its homey inspirations.

Each can contains: guarana, green coffee, and in total, a 160 milligrams of caffeine. The kick, lacking many staples of your usual ingredient cocktail, preforms no differently, with a three, give or take, hour long buzz. On the whole, Organic Island Fruit is a few nips and tucks away from being a true winner. In its current form? It is still one of the better from the brand.

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Mati Passion Fruit Healthy Energy Drink Review

Mati Passion Fruit's biggest visual virtue is its lack of clutter; text is sparse, and the small spurts of purple help convince your eyes of its fruit focus without ever reading the small flavor indication at the bottom. Sure, the graphic is cartoony and an unappetizing depiction of the seeded tropics denizen, but I guess you have to take the positives with the negatives.

This is without a doubt the best Mati reviewed here, but you could never tell from your first sip or two. Your mouth curls at this amaroidal inauguration, but your palate becomes accustomed to the astringent aberration with each passing imbibe. But beneath the acerbic introduction is a showcase of gentle passion fruit, its sourness so shy and its sweetness so sheepish that you find yourself turning sips into gulps as you try and savor more of the flavor. By this point our twelve ounce can contains only a few more, and the bitterness becomes little more than a distraction from the main event, the passion fruit now more bold and demonstrating a more potent tartness and saccharinity; nothing that will rival your common energy drink, but are more than welcome developments after the initiatory quaffs.

Each can contains some vitamin C, but I came for the 150 or so milligrams of caffeine, or so the internet reads. The kick is fairly potent however, lasting just above two hours. On the whole, while the jury is still out on whether or not Mati Passion Fruit is "healthy," it sure is tasty, and that is all I cared about today.

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Pop & Bottle Mocha Cold Brew Oat Milk Latte Review

What is most curious to me is that Pop & Bottle Coffee is neither pop nor comes in a bottle; a more appropriate name would be "Coffee & Can." But I digress, this shrink-wrapped container is a bit wordy but its minimalistic design and pastel backdrop did catch my eye, only to then notice the needlessly long name.

With 100 calories and just eight grams of sugar, none of which were added, sips are far more luxurious than they have any right being. Problem is this earthy aftertaste, whether it is from the dates or the rosemary or some supplement for some reason involved here, or from the absence of actual dairy, is not something my palate could identify. But there is an issue here, the small eight ounce serving helping my tongue forgive its slight funk. As for the flavor, mocha is in fact present, a chocolate who basks in the three grams of fat, two of which is of the saturated goodness variety. The lardy mouthfeel is immediately challenged by a mildly powdery texture, the two creating a slightly dynamic experience that goes unresolved by the time only drips remain inside the aluminum walls.

This is not an energy drink, if you could not already tell, but the eighty milligrams of caffeine does provide a pleasant enough, two hour long buzz. In the end, Pop & Bottle Mocha Cold Brew looks, drinks and boosts well enough.

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Rise Oat Milk Mocha Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Review

Oatmilk is a fascinating dairy-alternative, although I am unsure what the hell it has to do with canned coffees. They already are something of a niche product here in the states, so pile that onto something that is already organic, nitrous infused and cold brewed, and you have a something so deeply gimmicky it should stand tall as an example of going "too far." Oh yes, and how classy does that discount sticker look? It would be a shame to not mention how something so over the top was forced onto salvage store shelves.

The oatmilk is nutty, numbing, and nuanced, which gives the stout septenary ounces here far more complexity than it has any right to be. The mocha is less chocolate bar and more chocolate syrup, a velvety cacao cocktail that sinks deep in your tongue as it crawls slowly across it, coating your mouth with the sensation of melted ice cream; there is even a slight grainy texture as the liquid falls down the back of your throat. The dairy surrogate blankets out any coffee the experience could have offered, its toasted malt taste so potent that only your eyes can believe there is any joe inside. It is an incredible first sip but one that never changes, so one-note that the initially petite seven ounces becomes a blessing- the pleasure becomes so overwhelming that you relish its brevity.

Eighty milligrams offers up a decent hour and a half long kick, a combination coffee and sugar rush that resembles anything your local mega coffee shop chain would churn out and call a latte.

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Tea Riot Citrus Energy Drink Review

Tea Riot makes a statement with its can, a loud statement with a clean, unfussy can. The present text are all selling points to someone, from "100% plant based" to "zero added sugar" to the "organic" stamp, but a bare black backdrop gives the words room to breath, a lesson a lot of energy drinks could learn from. If there was something to knock it would be the label itself, a cheap, shrink-wrapped one that feels bad to hold and worse yet against your lips as you make for that first sip.

Despite all the gimmicks, the flavor shines strongly, bright acidity brushing aside any tea funkiness; what is left is a dizzying dichotomy between bitter and sour. This friction elevates what could have simply tasted like "lemon tea," imbibes show a little more care than is expected from "just another energy drink found on random health store shelf." The citrus itself is a shade more complex as well, with clementine, lime, and lemon, but all the personality comes through with the tartness, providing a sundry pitch that changes from ounce to ounce. But all these gulps teased something my palate could not place, a sort of cooling tickle tasted entombed deep into the experience. A quick glace of the nutrition facts exposes spearmint as one of the several teas here. My tastebuds remains unconvinced this idiosyncratic implication was totally necessary, but any potable that keeps you on your tongue on its toes deserves special mention.

160 milligrams of caffeine is about the only supplement here, a kick that is far more standard than anything else about it. Lasting two and a half hours, Tea Riot Citrus goes for the obvious with its potency, a shame considering everything else is so distinct.

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Forto Energy Coffee Chocolate Latte Review

Discounted to just a buck fifty at my local megamart, which honestly is not much of a deal, Forto Chocolate Latte looks largely unremarkable. Oh sure, it looks consonant to previous variations of the brand, and it is easy to read, but the whole action of needing to remove that large plastic top, peel back a metal seal then reapply the brown cap is busy work and, well you know, just dumb.

The flavor is fatty, chocolaty, sweet, and well, tastes nothing like coffee despite the first ingredient being the bean brew! It is actually from cold brew, causing a superb lack of acidity, with imbibes melting from their gelid lardaceousness, spreading across your entire palate and painting an experience that glorifies warming depth to the cacao. There are plenty of moments that inspire the drinker to take another sip, and that is fine, but Forto Chocolate Latte is yet another glorified chocolate milkshake that just happens to contain caffeine.

But it is not just some caffeine, it is 200 milligrams, and the kick is splendid! Lasting about three hours, the buzz is without a doubt the most consistent thing here. Overall, Forto Chocolate Latte is a rocky road of a potable, and just as sweet as, well, rocky road.

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Yachak Ultimate Mint Energy Drink Review

Energy drinks usually sway away from mint, but Yachak's next variety embraces the taste oddity. The can does a good job pushing the oddball flavor, with ample green real estate and the moniker "Ultimate Mint," and the busy but stylized backdrop really sell this madcap appearance.

Trepidacious tongues will ultimately lap up everything Yachak Ultimate Mint is selling; trust me, my taste buds were equally apprehensive; what it lacks in any sort of commercialism it makes up for with unbridled energy. From the previous Berry Red version, the small bump in sugar to thirty two grams gives the experience just enough sweetness to keep the adventure from tasting like chewing gum that has spontaneously turned into water. The texture is slippery, an almost oily mouthfeel that works so well only because it is slight menthol staining. Beneath the gelid namesake is a slight earthiness, not quite bitter but every imbibe definitely sports a sort of artifact from being oh-so organic. If there was any disappointment here it would be that, at the end of the day and bottom of the can, the flavor is just mint. It never chills my throat the way Stoked Wild Chill did all those years ago, and no matter how good it tastes, I am not convinced that mint can carry an entire sixteen ounces.

For energy we get a solid 160 milligrams of caffeine, which is all one really ever needs. The buzz, which lasts just south of two and a half hours, benefits from the overall lack of other chemicals and supplements, which can not only pervert the flavor but also burn an empty stomach. In a world when you are simply looking for a pick-me-up, Yachak Ultimate Mint gives you all that wrapped up in idiosyncratic passion.

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Forto Energy Coffee Latte Review

The Forto brand of energy coffee shots has exploded, into a much bigger beverage. Clocking in at eleven ounces, the design benefits from such an expansive real estate, a clean look that is easy to read with its large, chunky text. The top pops off, revealing a seal that is manually removed, then you place the cap back on. It is unnecessarily added work, considering you should just be able to crack open the transport and start sipping but hey, whatever they think qualifies as character.

There is a complete lack of acidity, a defining aspect of the cold brew process. Every sip is finishes without any sort of the bean's trademark bitterness; if it was not for the fabulous aromas flowing from the gaping top a distracted drink could easily forget what they were sipping on. Added cane sugar, for a total of twenty six grams, sweetens the experience beyond the just normal commercialism- Forto has crafted one of those caffeinated milkshakes so popularly made by Starbucks and Java Monster. It is not an overwhelming saccharinity, but for a potable that reads "coffee" in large font twice on the container, your imbibes resemble the morning stable by name only.

200 milligrams of caffeine is all that is offered and all I ever need; there is no other silly supplements to bulk out the ingredients list, just the king chemical himself. The buzz lasts a solid three hours, no doubt aided by the potation's easy sipping nature. Overall, Forto ultimately tastes quite good, and provides a healthy kick, but why did it have to avoid tasting like actual coffee?

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Mati Citrus Healthy Energy Drink Review

More Mati comes to us in the form of a reformulation, among the changes fewer calories (clocking in at forty, five behind the original), slightly more juice, and less caffeine. The can has grown up a bit too, losing its cartoony fruits for a more detailed depiction, but only the watchful eye could really tell the difference.

As a fan of the original, Mati Citrus 2.0 does little fresh with the flavor profile it updates. The slight increase in juice, up two percent from the original thirty, compensates for the few grams less of sugar- this beverage is a smoother sipper, with a less coarse texture and a more energetic effervescence. The problem here? Beneath all this renovation may be a more approachable potable, but where is the creativity of the first one? This is too "me-too" tasting. Do not get me wrong: I would drink Mati Citrus again, no hesitation, but the original's potent idiosyncrasies are lost in twelve ounces of commercialism.

Each can contains 115 milligrams of caffeine, and some vitamin C. Though I applaud them for adding the actual content to the back of the can (as opposed to scouring the internet for an amount), there is less of my namesake stimulant to go around. It is negligible however, as the kick remains at around two hours in length.

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Yachak Berry Red Energy Drink Review

I gotta say, the can to Yachak Berry Red is pretty awesome. Its unorthodox background is packed with too much detail, there is far too much text, and the name frankly does not make much sense, but I am all for its zaniness.

The flavor is a misstep, a flat experience that packs too little flavor within the first few imbibes. The lack of effervescence is a major downfall upon introduction, leaving the liquid to languish without any personality, no texture or character to offer our palate. It honestly tastes like tap water for the opening quaffs, full of funky mineral notes and nuances, only not really as bad as that sounds. But as sips are taken, the subtly births out from the languid liquid, a slight sourness breaking through the overarching earthiness. It is the flavor of cranberry, as distant tasting an interpretation of the bog-growing fruit if I had ever had one. It is really not a bad tasting energy drink, just an eccentric one.

Each can contains 160 milligrams of caffeine, thanks to the yerba mate the can so proudly tells me is "organic." The buzz is pretty solid, a clean buzz that lasts two and a half hours. Yachak Berry Red Energy is an unwonted cocktail that ultimately does more right than wrong.

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Mati Cherry Healthy Energy Drink Review

Mati has had some work under the hood, as well as on the hood, though visually things are much less significantly redone. There is a little less to look at, but that is for the better, with the fruits more naturally drawn than before, not much else is different.

The flavor is far better rounded than in the past, the increase from thirty to sixty three percent of juice lends to a sweeter and more passive mouthfeel. The cherry taste is more pronounced here, only slightly acidic but far more mainstream, for better or worse. The lauded bitterness of the original formulation collapses underneath the increased saccharinity, which although coming all from the fruit nectar, is completely listless. It lacks the heft I wanted in such a sugary cherry experience, as the sweetness becomes part of the flavor.

Each can contains 115 milligrams of caffeine and that is about it. Sure, there are mentions of potassium, vitamin A and vitamin C, but what do they do? The kick lasts an hour, perhaps a few minutes more, but that is it. Overall, Mati Cherry is ultimately less interesting with this remake.

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AMP Organic Tropical Burst Energy Drink Review

AMP just keeps the organic drinks coming, this time it is Tropical Burst. Its name gets the point across, but the design suffers from everything it is trying to say- how is it necessary to say "organic" three times right on the front of the can?!

The flavor fails to get off on the right foot, despite its seemingly simple cocktail of tastes. The fruits individually are replicated fairly well, that little description on the can- you see it? Where it lists "orange," "mango" and "passion fruit?" Well, that is about as complex as the experience gets, I'm afraid, but a simple interpretation is not the issue here. The problem is the sweetness- sure, there is forty four grams of cane sugar, but it never tastes like enough. Every sip is clouded in an abrasiveness, a slight bitterness when the fruits instead call for saccharinity. Another problem lies in the lack of acid; the flavors themselves are fine, but the tartness was lost in translation. 'Tis a shame.

Potency has never been the brand's strongest aspect, but this spinoff of the parent drinks fares even worse. The kick lasts an hour, jitter free, but impotent. Having really only 120 milligrams of caffeine does not help either. To end, AMP Organic Tropical Burst is commendable for its restricted use of ingredients (containing only five is impressive), but the can, taste and buzz just do not come together.

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Mati Peach Mango Energy Drink Review

Mati Peach Mango has all the right elements of a decent can; its svelte black backdrop has the dull yellow and green pop, there is not too much text, and everything important is visible without scrabbling about the aluminum real estate. But look at the illustration of that mango! Sure, scoring the flesh of the tropical fruit is an easy way to consume it, but who is going to know that is what it is?!

The Mati brand has always had a tough time with the the fruits playing second fiddle to the guayusa leaves, but here the experience is pure peach. It assaults your taste buds from your first sip, all the way down the can to your final one, leaving the bitter leaves to rumble in a slight undercurrent with every imbibe. Where does this leave the mango? The drupe flavor never picks up steam, buckling beneath the weight of the showcased nectarine. This is not to say Mati Peach Mango is a bad tasting energy drink, but its misleading name is hard to forgive. Sweetness is the best for the line, despite a meager nine grams of the saccharine stuff, going as far as the peach demands without overstepping the acidity or the leaves' astringency.

Each can contains a few vitamins and 115 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is average, lasting two hours but without any jitters. On the whole, Mati Peach Mango is not as strong as the previous Citrus and Cherry varieties, but if this is as bad as they come, I am impressed.

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Hi Ball Ruby Red Energy Drink Review

It has been a long time since a Hi Ball brand drink crossed my desk (thank you, hipster "organic" grocery store chain); bright pink does not do the cozy little design much justice, but it is serviceable. Things are cleaner than all the text and patterns suggest, but the large brand name struggles with its undercase typeface and identical coloring to the rest of the can.

A mere five percentage of juice wrestles the rest of the ingredients as it tries to influence the experience, but it never rises above every sips bitter influence. It lacks the freshness the juice should have imbued; imbibes are listless and tired, more alike your usual macro canned energy drink than what the can suggested it contained. The grapefruit itself its leaden, its fragile intricacy often lost in a sea of acrid aftertastes of organic ingredients. Everything is one-note, no one gulp offers anything unique, just flat sameness that wears down your tolerance for mediocrity. Saccharinity, forty grams of cane sugar, combats the astringents and never wins- it is sixteen ounces of undersweetened miscalculations.

Each can contains: B vitamins, guarana, ginseng, and 160 milligrams. The buzz is the best thing here, lasting just under three hours and never jittery. To end, Hi Ball Ruby Red is a disappointment when you consider all this unusual company could have done with such an unusual flavor.

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AMP Organic Citrus Energy Drink Review

It has taken dozens of varieties, but the AMP line has finally branched into the organic subgenre of energy drinks, exclusive to 7-Eleven stores. The can to these natural versions is smaller than your traditional energy potable at twelve ounces, and the brand's design struggles to fit all the text, detail and images it finds important on such small real estate.

There is no juice here, but the flavor is quite tasty. Forty nine grams of cane sugar oversweeten, but its graininess gives every imbibe a sort of textural nuance that is such a refreshing departure from the company's usual syrupiness. The citrus here is gentler this time around, a balanced blend of both lemon and lime, but the fruits themselves never taste distinct from the generic citrus blends offered from non-organic drinks. There is a hard edge to each sip, however, presumably from all the lack of your usual preservatives and all the organic ingredients, but it works here, its paltry twelve ounces offering the potent flavor in a shorter punch than usual sixteen. An overall delightful little experience.

Each can contains just 120 milligrams of caffeine. That is it for energy. Talk about getting right down to the point! Oh sure, there is a lot of sugar, and 200 calories to boot, but in a world where other supplements purport around as "energy" inducing, AMP Organic Citrus goes right for the stimulant that has been consumed since the 15th century. That I am a fan of.

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Mati Cherry Energy Drink Review

Mati Cherry comes in a nearly identical can to the brand's Citrus version  from months past, save for some text changes and a swap of the little illustration of fruits. It is amazingly easy to read, a clean can that gets everything across, save for the hearty thirty percent of juice. To me, I would sell that point up.

Your first sip is bitter, barely tasting of cherry or much of anything else. Eleven grams of sugar never influence the experience, nor does the thirty percentage of juice. The initial few gulps are a poor introduction to what the potation eventually tastes like, though that will take an iron palate and the patience to make it through at least half of the twelve ounces. Imbibes eventually give their acridity for acidity, a pleasant, puckering tartness that yields to the saccharinity, which by now is showcased by the collapsed bitterness. The actual taste of cherry never becomes the focus of the experience despite being nearly half juice, but perhaps that is because the fruit cocktail is apple, then cherry, then lime. Overall, while the title "cherry" may be something of a dubious nom de plume, but those with some patience should find a lot to enjoy here.

Each can contains something around 150 milligrams of caffeine, though I cannot call that official; the internet told me. In the end, Mati Cherry is about as good as their Citrus variety.

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