Stewart's Shops Impact Energy Drink Review

My lawyers, Itchy and Twitchy, have forgotten the award winning review where we first met, over a decade ago way back in 2015 with The Caffeine King's review of Stewart's Impact. I certainly won the Pulitzer Prize for that one. The can has slimmed down and gotten a fresh paint job, but does the same sour nastiness remain within these newly refreshed metal transport?

Here we have a Red Bull clone that, in today's world, has me almost nostalgic. My palate misty eyed all over as the sentimental soft drink suppresses my better judgement beneath blind memories of my golden years. It is a great first sip, refreshing even! But this is still a Red Bull clone, a fact it is most proud of. Granny Smith apple is the nucleolus of the flavor profile, acidic like a battery and surrounded by shallow nuances of vanilla; the usual citrus suspect completely unavailable here. No lime, orange or even lemon can be found as the heavy elixir washes across your teeth, rotting them as your dentist cackles in future monetary delight. Sucralose, theoretically here to keep the carbohydrate count down, means little when there are still forty grams of the caloric sugariness. It has a decent mouthfeel but it devolves into grainy syrupiness only a few gulps into the twelve ounces on offer. Not that any of this matters, I sipped and gulped and mostly enjoyed myself. Lawyers be damned.

The energy blend is 218 milligrams, but I do not just mean of caffeine: this includes my namesake chemical, alongside guarana, inositol, ginseng and taurine. Hey, Itchy and Twitchy, is that legal? Is that allowed? Is that allowed? Is, is that allowed?? Slap!