Joker Cherry Lime Energy Drink Review

Joker Cherry Lime is a flavor created specifically for its exclusivity to Circle-K, however, its can is nothing more than a palette change different from the rest of the line. That is a good thing, as the can remains remarkably clean and easy to read despite its swirly backdrop and the large chunk of writing at the bottom left.

An airy effervescence ambushes the palate with a languorous lime conglomerated with an exiguous cherry taste. The deuce of sapors are absent of any chemistry, both egregiously without the anticipated sourness. Sweetness is a triune of modified sugars, HFCS, sucralose and ace-k, an unfortunate triptych with the artificial honeys lacking the grandiose of the true carbohydrate, and what there is of honest calories approaches its job with too much trepidation to ever be convincing. Every sip lacks the substance of sincere sugar the flavors beg for: you should feel the heft from the sugar, but somehow diet wins out. With the carefree carbonation playing ignorant to their lusts, the whole thing just sorta collapses under its own weightless weight.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, caffeine (160 milligrams), and inositol. The buzz is mediocre, lasting about two hours and ends without any crash. In the end, the Joker line has never been the greatest line, but even with that in mind, this Cherry Lime variety still leaves you crestfallen.

Summit Tropical Waves Pineapple & Starfruit Energy Drink Review

A Summit drink from discount grocer Aldi without the "Gridlock" branding? What is the world coming to? I appreciate these budget soft drinks though, drinking a fair few myself, but the can here has all the visual verve of an Easter basket with its soft, pastel-esque colors. Couple with stock imagery and way too much text, and you have an energy drink that is all-too obviously store brand.

The golden elixir pours out without carbonation, my eyes and ears sorely missing the sight and sound of all those little bubbles working to escape its aquatic trapping. My tongue, crestfallen by the absence of effervescence, perked up somewhat once the flat fluid flopped upon- I am a pushover for pineapple after all. And Summit here comes about as close to replicating the crunchy yellow flesh of the brightly colored tropical produce that is possible with potent potables. Sucralose sweetens alone and struggles to replicate honest carbohydrates all on its lonesome; a bit of backup from ace-k, or perhaps a few grams of actual sugar maybe, could have helped balance out the dimensionless saccharinity we do have. But by itself? It pushes all its chips forward and honeys aggressively, challenged only by a tartness that would have mother nature herself green with envy. As for the star fruit, the acidity of its less exotic friend totally smothers any chance the shaped crop has at influencing the flavor for much of the experience. Its only opportunity is right as the climax begins and the other tastes collapse, a bit of indistinct fruitiness just barely able to poke through the harsh sweet and sour profile. I did not hate this, but my body would pick just about any other pineapple potation before nabbing this twelve ounce can.

With 200 milligrams of my namesake stimulant, I am happy to report that Aldi is finally making an actual attempt at putting the "energy" in "energy drink." The three hour long buzz is not exactly spectacular, and the ingredient cocktail is otherwise very familiar, with taurine, vitamins and guarana, but the effort alone puts a caffeinated smile on my face. The rest of the drink? Not so much.

Stewart's Shops Impact Energy Drink Review

My lawyers, Itchy and Twitchy, have forgotten the award winning review where we first met, over a decade ago way back in 2015 with The Caffeine King's review of Stewart's Impact. I certainly won the Pulitzer Prize for that one. The can has slimmed down and gotten a fresh paint job, but does the same sour nastiness remain within these newly refreshed metal transport?

Here we have a Red Bull clone that, in today's world, has me almost nostalgic. My palate misty eyed all over as the sentimental soft drink suppresses my better judgement beneath blind memories of my golden years. It is a great first sip, refreshing even! But this is still a Red Bull clone, a fact it is most proud of. Granny Smith apple is the nucleolus of the flavor profile, acidic like a battery and surrounded by shallow nuances of vanilla; the usual citrus suspect completely unavailable here. No lime, orange or even lemon can be found as the heavy elixir washes across your teeth, rotting them as your dentist cackles in future monetary delight. Sucralose, theoretically here to keep the carbohydrate count down, means little when there are still forty grams of the caloric sugariness. It has a decent mouthfeel but it devolves into grainy syrupiness only a few gulps into the twelve ounces on offer. Not that any of this matters, I sipped and gulped and mostly enjoyed myself. Lawyers be damned.

The energy blend is 218 milligrams, but I do not just mean of caffeine: this includes my namesake chemical, alongside guarana, inositol, ginseng and taurine. Hey, Itchy and Twitchy, is that legal? Is that allowed? Is that allowed? Is, is that allowed?? Slap!

Summit Red Thunder Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

Aldi's Summit brand of energy drinks returns with a refreshing of their "Red Thunder" drinks. Today's offering is their sugar free flavor, which back in 2011, failed to escape its Red Bull clone shackles. All these years later and a new design later, I am still visually unstimulated. The baby blue background fades from sight in a sea of other potent potables, a packaging filled with text but no personality.

I do love a good Red Bull clone, and Red Thunder Sugar Free is about as close as you can get to "perfect." Well, perfect considering it is a remake of a store-brand imitation. Apple is the center of the experience, with a puckering sourness that helps distract from the oh-so familiar diet sugar mix of ace-k and sucralose. The two sweeteners are on their best behavior, not having to do much except not overextend their reach. Vanilla and bubble gum make an appearance but seldom perch anywhere but the back of the tongue, insinuating complexity without really participating with the core fruit flavor. What does any of this mean? Well, it is a fine tasting little caffeinated cocktail; next time I will just write that and leave the thesaurus on the bookshelf.

Each can contains B vitamins, taurine, and eighty milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is not particularly impressive, until you remember that practically no energy drink comes in the antiquated eight ounce cans anymore. Overall, Red Thunder Sugar Free is about as good as an off-brand product can be.

Quick Strike Regular Energy Drink Review

Only time will tell if Quick Strike Regular is any better from the dismal Original variety, but its can has certainly received a mild refresh. Gone is the hokey "Fast & Furious" visuals, though today the design is horribly generic, a shame as just because it is store-brand, does not mean it has to look the part.

The flavor is that all-too familiar one, yes kids, this is a Red Bull clone. But it is not a bad one! Oh it is not good by any stretch, but there is a certain level of imagination in the construction of this conventional cocktail. What sets this variant apart is the acidity, every sip boasting a sourness that makes even the stoutest of lips pucker. It pierces the familiarity and the saccharinity, and oh my does the sweetness need a heavy hitter to balance it out. Fifty eight grams of pure high fructose corn syrup is at play here, and it runs amok the experience kept only at bay by the curt tartness. In terms of the actual taste, it is all bubble gum and vanilla, with some callous rationing of citrus. All in all, this is something everyone has had hundreds of times, but it hits a bullseye on its very low hanging target.

The buzz feels like something of an afterthought here, lasting just two hours from a meager mixture of caffeine (152 milligrams), B vitamins, taurine, and inositol. In the end, Quick Strike Regular is exactly what it calls itself: "regular."

Mega Energy by Lidl Energy Drink Review

Lidl's Mega Energy is, well, an energy drink, and it is awkward to read the word "energy" twice on an otherwise sterile can. At least it is not shrink-wrapped, but it is painfully generic, a green explosion that amounts to zero personality on the otherwise black backdrop. Is it any different from the same-named drink from 2018? The world may never know.

Well, it is a Red Bull clone, what did you expect? It is what I expected after all, a person who has experienced oh so many potent potables before. It is not a bad one fortunately, a bit too sweet to be honest, but considering this retails for less than a dollar, I have paid more for worse tasting things. Vanilla and apple are the nucleus to the flavor, containing a heavy chemical influence making for sips that taste straight from the science lab instead of mother nature. Cutting through the sixty four grams of sugar (and 270 calories) is a hearty acidity and a relatively creamy texture, neither quite strong enough to prevent the feeling that this golden bubbly cocktail is going right to my hips, but there is something here. Capping off each imbibe is bubble gum, the final feature of the famous profile it pillaged, leaving behind an aftertaste that lingers a bit too long. There are some problems here in Lidl's sixteen ounce produce, for sure, but this is ain't a bad budget beverage.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is the reduction from 160 milligrams of caffeine to 140. Why bother? The buzz does not suffer much from the stimulant slimming, still lasting about two hours or so. Other ingredients include taurine, B vitamins, inositol, ginseng and guarana extracts. Overall, Mega Energy by Lidl only disappoints if you have any expectations.

Shock Wave Infra Red Energy Drink Review

Infra Red, our next Shock Wave variety up for review, comes in a rather pink can considering its name. Using the basic template for the line, its generic swirls and banal texture are carried over with only the aforementioned color swap and two additional words. Here is a word for you Shock Wave: boring.

The carbonation here is fantastic; easily the best characteristic here. It is fun, bubbly as a good drink should, elevating each, otherwise gooey, sip. Fifty three grams of sugar, a bromidic ballet of dextrose and high fructose corn syrup, and they compete against the aforesaid effervescence for the levity dominance of every imbibe. The saccharinity lacks depth, pure sweetness slime without reason or rhyme. Gee, the flavor? That is a toughy, considering the potation's extreme focus on leaden sugariness. Cranberry is a definite, sporting a shocking juxtaposition of earthiness and tartness against all the empty carbohydrates creating all the empty calories. Its only real companion is some cherry, itself slightly tart but a far more sedated fruit flavor, lacking the organic zest of the berry.

160 milligrams, inositol, and ginseng make up the energy cocktail, brewing a two, perhaps two and a half, hour long kick. All in all, Shock Wave Infra Red is a bad experience, a drink less than the sum of its parts, with its parts being just as bad.

Shock Wave Blue Rush Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

Shock Wave Blue Rush Sugar Free.... wow, what a mouthful! Its can is textured and depicts the familiar blue and silver swirl, as we have seen in the past. The text presents itself as the transport's biggest issue; at least three fonts, inconsistent italicization, capitalization, and general loquaciousness.

Sparkling effervescence tickles the fun flavor of cotton candy-sweet blue raspberry, a powdery sapor naively simple; every sip is unpretentious and chaste, drinking as any cheap, childish thrill should. There is an insipid acidity present to this neon blue beverage, unfortunately mellow for a credulous potation. Ace-k and sucralose do the sugaring here, achieving the lusted zero calories, but at the expense of a more saccharin experience; each imbibe lacks the extreme saccharinity passioned for the innocent inspiration, and the weight is uncharacteristically gossamer. Blue Rush is an inexpensive potable, one also good on the waistline, however, too many corners were cut in too many places.

Each can contains: B vitamins, inositol, ginseng, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. It is a weak buzz, lasting two hours; a most generic kick. In the end, Shock Wave Blue Rush Sugar Free is decent considering its inexpensiveness. Any more expensive, and it would be less decent.

Lidl Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

We all remember Lidl Energy Drink, but in that review, I forgot to mention that although the can is nameless, there is a gorilla on the other side of the limited real estate. But that still not a name, unless it is "Gorilla Energy," or, I suppose, the gorilla is named "Energy Drink."

Ace-k and aspartame lead the flavor here, a synthetic sugar system far more effective than the taste it sweetens. It is the passive blend of apple, vanilla and some tasteless fruits- it is the usual band of Red Bull clone flavors, but it is an effervescent elixir that is not bad for the handful of quarters I spent for a can. That is not a recommendation, but if you are in the market for a diet Red Bull, you might as well save some money on your journey.

Each can contains: taurine, B vitamins, ten calories, and seventy five milligrams of caffeine. It is a pathetic kick, lasting south of a hour and on par with your average eight ounce energy drink. Oh the whole, though completely average, you will not be finding many more cans in my shopping cart.

Peak300 Blue Raspberry Energy Drink Review

There is no way around it- I get all giddy when a new energy drink shows up at a random location. Picture it, yesterday, my local Lidl, when next to some pulled pork and a refrigerated pizza sits a Bang clone, Peak300.

The can is practical but perfunctory; caffeine amount present, beverage genre there, and alleged flavor featured. This is no doubt a generic offering, and it is about as visually stimulating as one expects, but why? Just because it is not all that interesting to look at- why is that an excuse? Store brand potables do not have to sacrifice looks for the sake of price. At a buck and change, Peak300 runs a bit more than the seventy nine or so cents of their Red Bull clone; their $.99 Monster clone "Mega" is now nowhere to be found.

Full disclosure here- I have never had inspiration Bang's blue raspberry variety. In fact, the only reason I knew that drink existed was thanks to my friend the interwebs. This is a blessing for Peak300, which gets to splash down on a palate unfamiliar with its indisputable inspiration. Problem here is that "blue raspberry" is not found in nature- no sir and no ma'am, this flavor is will inspire images of other fruit at your grocer's produce section, namely blueberry and, strangely enough, grapefruit. The initial member of this unadulterated duo brings the sweetness, but what this ends up resembling is cotton candy, thanks to its powdery mouthfeel giving imbibes a light, sort of airy texture. The second member of the party bears the sourness, but it is the sort of acidity that has a dairy tang to it, like something out of a yogurt. Is it good? Is it bad? Ultimately none of that matters- there are 300 milligrams of caffeine here, along with a host of other supplements, and so the fact that this tastes like anything but chemicals, is a feat in and of itself. Remember, this is not some mega-million dollar energy drink label- this is a Lidl branded product that has no right being this inoffensive.

Boy howdy does this sixteen ouncer have some kick, a three and a half hour long one in fact. Although I remain unconvinced of additives other than caffeine contributing much to the potency of such potations, there are a lot here, including BCAA amino acids, coq10, and B vitamins. Overall, Peak300 Blue Raspberry is cheap, doesn't taste like complete crap, and if you squint your eyes hard enough, it sorta, kinda, almost looks like Bang.

Quake Energy Drink Review

Quake is the latest generic energy drink, this time from the not-so-local 7-Eleven. The entire line is sugar free, but the can is massively uninspired, offering no personality and doing little to convey the notion that it is diet, or that it contains an impressive 250 milligrams of caffeine.

The flavor is shockingly not a straight Red Bull, in the traditional sense at least. Its powdery texture introduces the familiar flavors of vanilla and apple, all enveloped in a cozy blanket of acidity. All the elements of your classic energy drink flavor are here, but its unconditional pacing is refreshing, injecting decent lift into an experience found in so many other potables. The diet system of sweeteners, sucralose and ace-k, are in top-form here, never tasting particularly artificial, and mask the impressive caffeine numbers. It is not specifically a great flavor, but it brings character to an often times rudimentary taste profile.

The buzz is the showcase here, with the aforementioned quantity of my namesake chemical providing a solid four hour buzz. Other ingredients include b vitamins and electrolytes. In the end, Quake Energy is a fun diversion and something of a watermark for all generic energy drinks.

Gridlock Extreme Red Energy Drink Review

Aldi comes back to the energy drink market with Extreme Red, the latest variety in their Gridlock brand. The textured aluminum is a nice touch on a generic potable, so my digits were pleasantly surprised at their grip here. The design remains approximate to earlier entries in the line, though with all this red this time around, your eyes struggle to make sense of it all. What is text and what is background noise? What text is important and what is fluffery?

The flavor is a murky one, an indistinct blend of every fruit but the kitchen sink, with the only reasoning being to vaguely resemble a fruit punch. Your tongue finds cherry, pineapple, red grape, passion fruit, and several more, arguing for dominance, with your palate caught in the whirlwind. They work inharmoniously, pushing and shoving each other for an experience that always offers a little more nuance than most, especially for a store-brand potation. Erythritol, ace-k and sucralose are in charge of sweetness, and the hodgepodge posse of produce taste tailored to the trilogy of sham sugars. The approach to have so much going on introduces an electric sourness, which not only distracts from the pseudo sweeteners but also helps bring order to the fruit stew chaos.

Each can contains a cool 150 milligrams of caffeine, as well as some B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, and l-carnitine. The buzz is arguably the weakest player here, lasting two hours only. In the end, Gridlock Extreme Red is not so extreme but is very red.

Quick Strike Energy Drink Review

Multiple entries behind, Quick Strike advertises the "Fast & Furious" film in the franchise, so we know this drink has been rotting on shelves for years. Its can is a mess, various fonts fly in all different directions with no rhyme or reason, with an awkwardly illustrated car and explosion. This is no doubt one of the worst looking drinks I have ever seen.

We have unsurprisingly a Red Bull clone, a yucky and syrupy disaster that sips like pure corn syrup, with perhaps even less flavor. Vanilla, cotton candy and apple all do their worst, they are without balance or rhythm and just sit on your palate, burning your taste buds all for the low, low price of fifty cents at Big Lots. Sixty three grams of high fructose corn syrup, as well as sucralose, do a terrible job of sweetening, a sloppy sugaring that is ungodly overwhelming- this is the definition of crap energy drinks.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, inositol, guarana, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz itself is mediocre, but there is a rocking sugar rush, ending with a crash, but is a fairly fun trip until then. On the whole, Quick Strike Energy Drink gives bad energy drinks an even worse name.

Lidl Energy Drink Review

Gee, I wonder what this eight ounce drink is on Lidl store shelves? Oh right, it is an energy drink- one without any sort of name! I scoured the small can in search of any generic brand, and only the word "Classic" comes anywhere close, though my wager is that it means this is a Red Bull clone. Nevertheless, Lidl, please give your store brands actual names! You are not Jewel-Osco.

The flavor is Red Bull all the way, a metallic, synthetic venture through the antediluvian flavors of the energy drinks of yesteryear- how do beverages this brazen still get made? It is a mess of the usual suspects here, vanilla, apple and citrus, perhaps even some bubble gum notes, arranged haphazardly and sipping lethargically. Sweetness comes to us by invert sugar syrup and glucose-fructose syrup, twenty four grams of the sticky stuff, and it does its best to jazz up the anesthetized tastes we have tasted dozens if not hundreds of other times. There is a good acidity as well here, another distraction from the potable's journey back in time to the energy drink stone age.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and seventy five milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is your average hour in length, middling in strength, and completely unremarkable. Actually, the only thing worth noting here is the lack of a name, and that is not exactly a screaming endorsement.

Mountain Lightning Zero Energy Drink Review

Walmart's generic energy drink brand has just one variation over the original, the obligatory diet version. Its can is equally clean, though the sterile white background has zero passion- however I do like the slightly textured can. It is generic, no doubt, but there are more good ideas here than bad.

The flavor is less Red Bull and more Monster Zero Ultra, for much worse than better. All we taste is grapefruit and lemon, so artificially sweetened and steeped in too much funky vanilla flavoring. But the flavors are deadened, lifeless caricatures of tastes you have tasted in better, more careful exploits of the ripoff game. The sugaring is perhaps the biggest letdown here, your familiar trilogy of Erythritol, sucralose and ace-k. They lack energy here, no pun intended, lacking depth and heft as you pound back the ounces to get through all sixteen. Every sip is without acidity, another huge notch against things, with every aspect here tasting just so, generic.

Each can contains: taurine, ginseng, inositol, guarana, B vitamins, and 154 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is rather weak but definitely not without any merit- they at least list the caffeine amount! Overall, when you hold a can of something like Mountain Lightning Energy Zero in your hands and eyes you think you know what you are getting into with. In this case, it is worse.

Sheetz Iced Coffee Mocha Review

For just over two bucks, Sheetz brand Iced Coffee Mocha is not exactly a stunner- its bland brown background with giant chunks of ice gets its point across without any verve or personality.

This tastes like generic mocha iced coffee. Now does that sound like something to plop two dollars and change down on? Absolutely not. It is as creamy as skim milk, no surprise as the dairy comes in the form of "skim milk powder" and then "whole milk powder." Chocolate is the primary flavor, watered down by the fatless cow juice and stained only slightly of actual coffee taste, mocha is a true but unexciting way to describe the experience. It is far from the worst ready-to-drink coffee beverage the Caffeine King has consumed, but if that time machine of mine ever starts to work, I will go back and never pick up a can.

With no words on giving "energy," there is not even a caffeine content anywhere on the can. But this is strictly a canned coffee, with no added supplements to gunk up the java experience. Overall, Sheetz Iced Coffee Mocha costs more than something that actually tastes like coffee does.

Mountain Lightning Energy Drink Review

Mountain Lightning, Walmart's generic Mtn Dew clone, has tossed its hat into the energy drink ring with a generic AMP, or at least that is what we can assume. Its can, however, is pretty snazzy for a store-brand, with minimal text and impressive readability. Does it look generic? Well, yeah, but they sure tried!

Oh how I was mislead! Mountain Lightning leans a bit more heavy on the lemon and the lime than it does the vanilla, bubble gum and apple, a classy way of describing a citrus-focused Red Bull clone. What a disappointment! Not that I had anything more than cursory curiosity here, but here we had promise! You do not find that in generic energy drinks. For what it is, the sweetness is pretty good, composed of sugar, dextrose, and sucralose. It is heavy, with a bit of grit between the teeth, though things become a tad overwhelming as sips rip ounces from the can. Overall, Mountain Lightning Energy is a fine tasting Red Bull clone, but why did it have to settle for that?

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol and 160 milligrams of caffeine. The list gets the buzz going fairly quickly and it lasts a solid two hours, well solid perhaps is not the right word- let us go with "average." Overall, Mountain Lighting Energy is a misguided and misleading power drink.

Mega Energy Drink Review

In case the can or name did not give it away, Mega Energy, oh I am sorry, Mega Energy Energy Drink, is a generic brand, straight from Lidl. It ran me less than a buck, but that should not excuse such lazy execution- a solid black can with a green "burst" in the middle? An energy drink named "Mega?" It is as if the company had a blind guy name and design this, and yes, of course he had never heard of energy drinks before either.

The scent is toxic, a harsh, acidic aroma of fruit, spice, and chemicals. The flavor is an exercise in saccharinity, fifty one grams of glucose and sucrose burn as they sink like a stone in your gut- and oh, in case things were not sweet enough, my little eye sees sucralose included as well. When it comes to actual taste, it is a rotten blend of bubble gum, apple and vanilla, a synthetic assembly all wrapped tightly by a mouthfeel so syrupy you would swear the can read "Cough Syrup" and listed its side effects. It is a miserable sixteen ounces, one so lifeless and without personality you start to wonder why you stopped by Lidl in the first place.

The kick is as generic as you would expect from a generic energy drink, but it works, lasting two and a half hours. Each can contains: B vitamins, guarana, inositol, taurine, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. In the end, Mega Energy is a mega mess.

Mega Java Coffee Energy Drink Review

Lidl keeps on pumping out drinks, with what seems like a new flavor each time I enter the store. Coffee is the promised variety today, a disinteresting can that demonstrates why a decent graphic designer is needed; this is a horrible can! Text is everywhere, slowing down your eyes as it tries to come up with any reason as to why to pick up such an ugly chunk of aluminum.

The flavor here is among the worst for a coffee energy drink- pungent, watery and fatless. Reduced fat milk is the first ingredient, but it tastes spoiled and diluted, a strange, almost metallic taste that permeates every imbibe. This is without a doubt a disgusting experience. Any actual taste of coffee is lost in a sea of sour, serous dairy product, removed of the pined fattiness or sweetness. There are thirty total grams of sugar, but your tongue argues against that figure, along with everything about each sip. How can a drink go so poorly? There is zero energy in the flavor, a rotten potable that will only be consumed completely by those who review such products. Lucky me.

The energy blend is not half bad: taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, B vitamins and 150 milligrams of caffeine. It is an unspectacular kick, lasting around two hours, but it is the only thing mediocre here- everything else is terrible!

Shock Wave Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

Though there are a half dozen varieties in Speedway's Shock Wave line of energy drinks, but their cans all blur into one generic string of aluminum scrap. Its can is like a diet, dilution of the original's can, with an even lighter colored can, and one additional line of text.

Lots of sweetness, feeling fake on the tongue but not to the taste buds, transport guava, mango, and a muddled mix of citrus to the mouth. Predominately grapefruit, some refreshing lemon, and dare I say orange, emerge out from the latter's stale fruit cocktail. Effervescence is charming, admittedly the only provocative element to the entire experience, livening the otherwise formulaic fusion. Everything works; it is refreshing despite not being exciting, even with every sip climaxing with a slight sour bite.

Inositol, ginseng, B vitamins, fifteen calories, and 160 milligrams of caffeine. That is the energy blend here, and it is a mediocre one. Your usual two and a half hour buzz is what you get, though what could you want for a cheap, diet, generic energy drink?