Monster Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink Review

With a smaller logo against a vague black backdrop, this is one imposing energy drink. It sat in my fridge for a few weeks, intimidating me from drinking it until, one day I decided I would intimidate it. But then it occurred to me- didn't this very same beverage appear under the sub-brand "Reserve?" I suppose the world will never know.

The flavor is outrageously orange, one that assaults your palate without mercy until it begs for something, anything, to help clear up its fruity intoxication. The can declares this as "wickedly creamy," and I would have to agree: not only are the thousands of tiny little bubbles soft like velvet, they seem almost vanilla flavored. This is the final piece of the creamsicle puzzle and it won me over after several sips of the brightly colored elixir; what it lacks in complexity, it makes up for with unbridled dedication to the simple sapors. Sugar and glucose sweeten without supervision, no acidity strong enough to counteract the caloric salvo that is forty six grams of carbohydrates. Sucralose is here too, I suppose to try and reign things in without a tart bodyguard, and for better or worse, but it has minimal impact on the tongue. Mouthfuls have a heavy mouth feel, a wonderful weight that works against the synthetic sugar implications. But at sixteen ounces, the underdeveloped and uncompromising citrus and spice makes for a lethargic experience, one that may have worked at a smaller dosage but is an absolute struggle in its current stature.

With a rather paltry 160 milligrams of caffeine, the buzz does not meet the standards of its wackadoodle taste, but I will survive. Lasting two hours, I wish there was more of my namesake stimulant, but I guess taurine, inositol and vitamins will just have to do.

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