Java Monster Chai Hai

Two unexpected drinks showed up at my local Big Lots recently, Java Monster Russian and Chai Hai. Whether it means they were old stock or an overstock, just the fact that two Monster varieties were at Big Lots really surprised me. Generally, only obscure and unknown energy drinks show up at Big Lots, other then the occasional ...lost or Rockstar. Now, I've never been a fan of tea, let alone know the names of most, so I have absolutely no idea what to, or what not to expect from Chai Hai.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Through the years, I've really enjoyed the Java and regular Monster can designs, but I can't say that about Chai Hai. While the overall layout is kept the same, the busy background pattern really takes away focus of the can. While everything matches well (all the colours, fonts etc.), I feel the can is trying too hard to look organic and/or rustic. The design also reminds me of amp Green Tea, which reminded me of Hansen's Primal Tea. Which is strange, because if I was a can designer, I think I'd want to design something a bit more original. Though I know some energy drinks have similar can designs, their generally not in a small category like tea. But I think the weirdest thing about the can is the name, Java Monster Chai Hai. To my knowledge, Java is usually associated with coffee, where as chai is a tea.

TASTE: I lightly shook the can, opened it, and took a sip. The flavour begins quite watery, with a noticeable end trail of cream. Unexpectedly, a really earthy, semi-metallic, almost rotten taste appears. It is short lived, though it's still disgusting. Then a spice-based blend appears, with cinnamon, ginger and clove being the only ones I could directly identify. The blend subtly reminded me of pumpkin, which I found a bit weird. With the flavour moving on, a watery cream mixes with a soft vanilla, but sadly the vanilla is overpowered by a strong artificial sweetener. With the vanilla out of the flavour, the cream and the fake sugar fuse together and finish off the experience. The cream leaves a light milky coating in your mouth, and reminiscence of the spices and the unpleasant artificial sugar combine to create the only true aftertaste. Overall, through a combination of uneven and mismatched notes and flavours, Java Monster Chai Hai's taste is unappetizing, and even though it's only fifteen oz., drinking the entire can is a chore that no man deserves to do.

KICK: Each can contains: 2000mg of Taurine, caffeine, 400mg of ginseng, guarana, maltodextrin, inositol, 100% of your daily intake of Vit. C, and 200% of your daily intake of Vit. B2, B3, B6, and B12. Java Monster Chai didn't preform as well as previous Java Monsters. I did notice I was more focused and more alert, I just wasn't all that energized. I was mostly jitter free, with only a rare jerk here and there. The buzz lasted an acceptable three hours, and once it ended, I didn't crash.

FINAL WORDE: The people at Monster are always trying something different; whether it's nitrous carbonation, imports, or slushees, but rarely do I find that their ideas to be fully fleshed out, and their venture into the chai market is no more of a success. The taste was unfocused and down right terrible, the can was surprisingly cluttered, and the kick was disappointing. Come to think of it, disappointing is a great way to describe the overall quality of Chai Hai. Hai gives the Java Monster line no justice, and is easily the worst in the line. Overall, I feel Java Monster Chai Hai is a prime example of how not to take an idea and run with it, as Monster stumbled with this one...2.1/5

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