Not to leave a soft drink flavor untouched, Bang tosses its hat into the cola ring. A surprisingly minor category in the potent potable space, the company has the unique position to offer the de facto diet soda, or at least present a decent one. The can does very little to remind me of the caramel colored elixir inside, with a visual scheme that resembles a piña colada more so than anything.
Cola consists of three basic pillars of taste, working alongside sweetness and bubbliness to achieve that classic sipping experience. Bang's flavor here is just wrong. It fails not only to represent the carbonated favorite but also the drinker, the stalwart company fan who laps up all their products with unbridled enthusiasm, but it is hard to see anyone approving of this canned catastrophe. Vanilla is absent, so is the citrus but most painfully missing is the spice. What you actually get is a funky flux of nuts, medicinal malt and worse yet, an avalanche of chemicals that stays on your palate well after you suffer through your first sip. You try and try to power through more ounces, but your body is exhausted and palate disgusted. There is no acidity, just sweetness, but it is a sour sugariness of sucralose subjugated by all the supplements suppressed inside the sixteen ounce sized storage. What does anything of this have to do with cola? Nothing! But this drink sucks worse than any drink in recent memory. Some rotten products just sit on your tongue with nothing to say, but this one actively works to upset you.
300 milligrams of caffeine, several B vitamins, amino acids, vitamin C, and a whole host of others can be read from the back of the can. Making up the energy blend, the kick is fantastic as usual, lasting a solid four hours easy. But then you think back to just a few moments ago when you were suffering through this swill, and realize that life is too short for this crap, even in the name of caffeine.
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