Bang American Berry Energy Drink Review

Oh not you too, Bang. Why does every company lately feel they need to slap red, white and blue colors onto an energy drink? Are you really trying to corner the market of people who wear white tank tops and a cowboy hat while looking for cheap beer and sparklers at their local Wally World?

The stench of cheap produce wafts from the tall, sixteen ounce can. The taste, however, that took me in a time-machine back to the late aughts when Moxie Thunder was something you could find with decent regularity. I kinda dug that drink then, but I am not the same person now, and the world of energy drinks has matured, mutated, regressed and then evolved further. But what is so bad here? It cannot be the fruits themselves, an antiquated amalgam of blueberry, raspberry, cranberry and strawberry; those flavors by themselves could come together craft a caffeinated cocktail worth quaffing. No, what ruins the experience is the tartness, a sort of lactic sourness that calls to mind an incredibly thin-bodied yogurt without the dairy. It does not tickle your taste buds and curl the side of your lip the way a soft drink should. Instead, your head sort of jerks back, thrust away in both major bewilderment and minor disgust. There is a slight silver lining, something I would ordinarily criticize the brand for: saccharinity. Without real sugar to expand your waistline, sucralose and ace-k are exploited until your tongue cannot taste any more synthetic sweetness from any subsequent sip. This means the vulgar acidity is tampered down somewhat. I mean, it results in you savoring the insides of those colored satchels you find in coffee shops all over, but hey, sometimes stubbing your big toe is better then banging your pinkie toe.

But hey, 300 milligrams of caffeine is a pretty nice reward, huh? The three and a half hour long buzz is a good one, more impressive than anything else this dastardly drink displays. Overall, Bang American Berry tastes as bad as I imagine most Americans smell.

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Bang Any Means Orange Energy Drink Review

Wait a second- a Bang that is an "Amp Exclusive?" Like the Pepsico energy drink? My "2025 bingo card" is wild.

Naw, it is just some popular interweb people that I have never heard of until I sat down at my keyboard for review here. The can is, fine, I suppose, but you see the words "bang" and "amp" and one would expect personality! Energy! Movement! But instead, this is the same old design I have criticized for nearly a decade.

Out pours an elixir so crystal clear that had it not been for the sixteen ounce can in my hand, you might think this where so common seltzer. The flavor is of course orange, but instead of taking the Sunkist route, Bang opens your freezer, digs around and pulls out a frozen orange creamsicle for inspiration. It is a great idea in theory, but the exclusive and overwhelming reliance on sucralose means mouthfuls have this hollow yet unrelenting influence on the experience: sips end up tasting more like those little yellow sachets on coffee shop tables more so than any fruit-based dairy-derived dessert. It crashes down on your palate without grace, a big ol' lump of ill-begotten ideas and mismanagement: take, for example, the brief window in this potent potable where your tongue detects some acidity. This could have helped give the citrus the impression its origins are from somewhere other than a lab, but no, sorry, your sourness is in another product. The diet sweetener kills it! The momentary mentions of vanilla are lost in this synthetic sea of sweetness, lacking the creamy goodness of the famous frozen refreshment; I cannot understate just how much of an issue this is, but then again what do I know? I ain't no popular interweb person.

I do love the 300 milligrams of caffeine here, and I am sure someone out there will appreciate all the amino acids and other supplements the back of the can lists out. The three hour long buzz is great but, after suffering through a flavor like this, I am not sure it was worth it.

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Bang Sour Ropes Energy Drink Review

For a sugar free energy drink, Bang is taking a huge swing in basing their latest off of a candy. Rope candy to be specific, though you would never tell from the packaging, which is sterile and boring. Where is the fun in a nearly all white can, colored only by a burst of blue here, and red there? I continue to really like the logo, an undercase "b" with a crosshair, but it is too little personality, too late.

The crystal clear concoction here is not as sour as my tongue had hoped, but the acidity is aggressive enough to mostly mask the single sweetener sucralose, which in turn is working overtime to cloak all the supplements crammed into this sixteen ounce can. The experience is indistinctly fruity, a base of blue raspberry and vanilla with bit of a faded pineapple nuance; overall it is not terribly complex but it has enough personality that distracts you from noticing all the chemicals while you are sipping. The carbonation is zesty and helps keep the momentum going, but all that stops by the time the can rang half-empty. By that point, my palate was on autopilot, not necessarily against the liquid inside the thin aluminum walls, but not exactly pining to keep drinking. Good thing we believe in full-service reviews around here.

Now this is what I am talking about: 300 milligrams of caffeine, all for my body. The buzz is the highlight and about the only reason to stick with this for the entire duration. Oh sure, amino acids, B vitamins, and others are here too, I must attribute the three hour long buzz to my namesake chemical over all else. What can I say?

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Bang Miami Cola Energy Drink Review

Not to leave a soft drink flavor untouched, Bang tosses its hat into the cola ring. A surprisingly minor category in the potent potable space, the company has the unique position to offer the de facto diet soda, or at least present a decent one. The can does very little to remind me of the caramel colored elixir inside, with a visual scheme that resembles a piña colada more so than anything.

Cola consists of three basic pillars of taste, working alongside sweetness and bubbliness to achieve that classic sipping experience. Bang's flavor here is just wrong. It fails not only to represent the carbonated favorite but also the drinker, the stalwart company fan who laps up all their products with unbridled enthusiasm, but it is hard to see anyone approving of this canned catastrophe. Vanilla is absent, so is the citrus but most painfully missing is the spice. What you actually get is a funky flux of nuts, medicinal malt and worse yet, an avalanche of chemicals that stays on your palate well after you suffer through your first sip. You try and try to power through more ounces, but your body is exhausted and palate disgusted. There is no acidity, just sweetness, but it is a sour sugariness of sucralose subjugated by all the supplements suppressed inside the sixteen ounce sized storage. What does anything of this have to do with cola? Nothing! But this drink sucks worse than any drink in recent memory. Some rotten products just sit on your tongue with nothing to say, but this one actively works to upset you.

300 milligrams of caffeine, several B vitamins, amino acids, vitamin C, and a whole host of others can be read from the back of the can. Making up the energy blend, the kick is fantastic as usual, lasting a solid four hours easy. But then you think back to just a few moments ago when you were suffering through this swill, and realize that life is too short for this crap, even in the name of caffeine.

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Meltdown Frosé Rosé Energy Drink Review

From the makers of Bang comes Meltdown, an energy drink with an equally awesome name but pathetically lethargic look. How can I get excited about an entirely white can loaded with far too much text. There is hardly an explanation what the difference between the two brands, except for the obviously smaller can. Maybe it has to do with ingredients, but how many times do I need to say it: caffeine, nothing else, is what really gives us the kick. Not only that, but if your product needs all those words to explain what makes it unique, then you are really grasping at straws.

Frosé Rosé is a creative flavor proposition, but Meltdown has very little to do with its purported alcoholic inspiration. Sips are sour like a kid's candy, though this is very much not for younglings, the distant taste of blue raspberry is about the only thing that breaks through the insistent tartness. Sucralose is the only sweeter on the clock, present purely to prevent gulps from resembling battery acid. There is so little else going on here, an experience most certainly drinkable, but lacking any, any personality.

225 milligrams of caffeine, vitamins, electrolytes and D-ketones make up the energy blend. To be fair, the buzz is solid, lasting three hours for me and could easily last just as long for you. Overall, Meltdown Frosé Rosé will not, ahem, meltdown the competition.

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Bang Blue & Yellow Limoncello Energy Drink Review

The internet tells me that Bang's Blue & Yellow Limoncello is a Walmart exclusive. I am not sure about you, but my scrubby local Wally World is not someplace you want to partner with. In any event, the can is an attractive combination of its namesake colors, a real shot of energy in the arm of an otherwise static and sterile design.

Despite its name, today's Bang pours out crystal clear. The scent of citrus wafts out, a soft, gentle odor that fills my nose with hope of a tickling tartness. Upon further investigation, the first sip is a fascinating crash of everything going wrong at the same time. Vanilla is the dominating taste, going against what my nostrils believed, transporting a creamy avalanche of milky badness instead of lemony goodness. Critically absent, perhaps even more so than the missing fruit, is absolutely any acidity; instead imbibes are super sweet, synthetically so, for no discernable reason. What we end up with is sixteen ounces of lies, a totally drinkable product that disappoints by the vague promise of its name.

Buzz is Bang's bread and butter, and this time is no different. Lasting a solid three and a half ounces thanks to caffeine (300 milligrams), vitamins, supplements, supplements and more supplements. Overall, Blue & Yellow Limoncello's Walmart exclusivity should not have Target worried, or hell, even Kmart.

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Bang Champagne Energy Drink Review

There is a reason Bang Champagne was for sale at the local Dollar Tree; the sparkling wine has no reason being in energy drinks! The can does at least use the right color scheme, but the visuals are lethargic, failing to convey a sense of urgency or a premium look. It is, instead, simply that same old design with a lot of gold.

This is, without question, one of the most unorthodox tastes my tongue has ever witnessed. It is fruity, creamy, sweet and has an unmistakable alcohol burn. There is in fact no actual booze here, but the food scientists at Bang have done their homework; each imbibe climaxes with a harsh, indistinct sting that lingers well after the physical liquid is quaffed. The unfortunate thing is how unpleasant this characteristic is, an element present out of obligation to the French bubbly and not to any benefit to the actual experience. It derails every sip with its idiosyncratic involvement, something that even my fingers and all the thesauruses in the world cannot do justice in describing. As for the remainder of potable, the combination of vanilla and produce make their own mistake, a grave one: it is way, way too saccharine! Acidity is forgotten here, which aborts the development of the flavors involved, resulting in a most basic representation. Not to say that sourness could rescue this product, but it would at least show some consideration behind the ideas inception.

A four hour long kick from 300 milligrams is what my body got, however, who knows if the extended buzz was a result of my slowed sipping, trying to wrap my head around its puerile peculiarity. Other ingredients include B vitamins, eaa aminos, creatine, among others.

The front of the can reads than Bang is "potent brain and body fuel." That's incorrect; it should read "impotent taste."

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Bang Delish Strawberry Kiss Energy Drink Review

Bang Delish Strawberry Kiss no doubt is meant to capitalize on Valentines Day, but looking at my handy-dandy calendar, that holiday is long past. Perhaps I found it late, and it had been stocked on energy drink shelves well before that, but who knows? The can fits the bill of something that should come paired with chocolate and a card, but outside of this lovers context, it is just another piece of painted metal.

Strawberry is a difficult flavor to manufacture, its delicate profile is so often masked by a candy influence and likely other flavors. Bang is takes a sort of compromised approach, overindulging in artificial sweetness but maintaining a hearty acidity that is playful enough to inspire thoughts of the actual fruit. It is this bouncy tartness that moves the experience out from the synthetic sugar shackles so commonly trapping such potent potables, giving sips a brief shot of freshness. This slight refreshing bite almost finishes every imbibe cleanly, of course until the true issue of the potation comes into sight, its medicinal aftertaste. This feature destroys much of the "good" the product has so far made, although if there was a positive, it is that another gulp washes away much of this nasty influence- that is until those ounces move from your mouth to your gut.

Fans of the brand anticipate a three to four hour kick, and well, that is what you get here. 300 milligrams of caffeine remains an impressive amount, although I am less convinced of the other ingredients have much do with this. Other supplements B vitamins, amino acids and, well, if you are reading this review you no doubt know what to expect. Overall, Bang Delish Strawberry Kiss is not quite the romantic smack on the lips it promises.

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Bang Candy Apple Crisp Energy Drink Review

It has been just about three years since the Bang brand first came across my desk, with their Sour Heads variety; today, just about every store has an entire shelf of their energy drink retail space dedicated to the company's numerous offerings. Unfortunately, their aggressive expansion is unguided, as their lethargic design offers little room for differentiation; there is little color distinction between flavors, leading me to paw over each sixteen ounce can looking for a new release.

Apple is one of the more popular flavors of energy drinks, for no good honestly- most companies insist on imbuing their potables with excessive candy influences with little regard to the produce faithful. Bang's attempt here falls smack dab in the middle of the road, perhaps only impressive for masking 300 milligrams of caffeine and a slew of other supplements. Other admirable actions involve the its hyper-sourness, having a fresh, almost earthy bite that simulates the sensation of biting into one of the red or green stemmed spheres with relaxed ease. Its a tartness that crawls up the back of your throat with every sip, until it engulfs your entire mouth, soaked down to the tips of your teeth in the sour supremacy. But it is a one-note experience, sips build exclusively for the aforesaid without any regard for balance or nuance. This blindness leaves the sweetness to grow out of control, lead by the sole sweetener sucralose, if the back of the can is being read correctly. It challenges not only the other elements but also your patience for gulping diet sugars in excess.

We have a lot of caffeine to play with here, and the resulting three and a half hour kick is a wonderful perk-up in the morning. Other ingredients include: B vitamins, arugula extract, amino acids, and super creatine. Overall, Bang Candy Apple Crisp, recommended to me by the guy stocking Target shelves, ain't bad.

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bang Rainbow Unicorn Energy Drink Review

Rainbow Unicorn makes no sense as an energy drink flavor; the back of the can makes no mention as to what it is actually supposed to taste like, and internet searches are futile for an official response. What gives? The can's carnival color scheme underplays its potency- there is 300 milligrams of caffeine here, and the aluminum walls are painted like a child's spun sugar. Of course kids should not drink this, so what gives?

Watermelon is the big player here, produce presented predominately oversweet with little variation outside tasting like diet sugars. Sucralose and ace-k are the synthetic honeys on display today, an unsuccessful waltz in rescuing palates from becoming scorched with the medicinal temper of not only the throng of supplements but also these two artificial sweeteners in command. But the creative energy is not found in the individual flavors, but rather what is paired together here. Your tongue can spot not only blueberry but also cotton candy and bubble gum; its unorthodox organization of elements make for a unique, not enjoyable, experience. Acidity is a bit player here, a sourness that has a sharp dairy or even almost protein tang to it. This tartness is diluted by the omnipresent emptiness of calories, but your more relaxed imbiber will no doubt notice this minor awkwardness.

The Bang buzz is back, that fabulous four hour buzz that is the real reason to consume the brand. Ingredients include: caffeine (300 milligrams), B vitamins, vitamin C, creatine, and Q10. To end, Rainbow Unicorn's unbridled sense of flavor exploration makes it the most commendable Bang yet, even if it is not quite drinkable.

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Bang Star Blast Energy Drink Review

Star Blast so far has the best can of the Bang line, the red, white and blue color scheme achieving a level of appealing patriotism that True Eagle struggled so much with. It is not perfect; I hate brand names that use an undercase letter (it vexes the wannabe English major in me), and the can says just about everything but the word "energy," which is the type of drink this most certainly is.

This Bang's flavor is just as gimmicky as the previous iterations were, but it is a whole lot easier to drink. The flavor is a cloudy cocktail of bubble gum and tropical fruits, namely guava, banana, and passion fruit; it kind of like Red Bull on vacation, only not as fun. But the sweetness, which there is a lot of, is not as forcefully fake as the blend of acesulfame potassium and sucralose can be. Do not get me wrong- it leans oh so dangerously close to the line of overly sugary, but there is just enough acidity to keep the saccharinity at bay. Bang Star Blast may be the best Bang flavor yet, but that is not saying much.

Each can contains: creatine, coenzyme, B vitamins, Q10, vitamin C and 300 milligrams of caffeine. That last one is all I care about, granting energy for three and a half hours, if you are experienced to such large quantities of the chemical. Overall, this Bang reaches for the stars, but never quite blasts off.

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Bang Lemon Drop Energy Drink Review

Golden yellow highlights showcase this Bang's lemon flavoring well, but for a drink with 300 milligrams of caffeine, there is little energy in the design. Bang should mean explosion, excitement, and a bare black background with a silver swoosh and ordinary graphics just does not cut it.

Lemon. What a classic flavor. It should be pretty sweet, even more sour, and its profile should be free of clutter. Bang Lemon Drop achieves none of those things, settling for one of the worst depictions of the citrus in a long time. It is a tedious misfire on the tongue, sixteen ounces too long of ugly artificial sweeteners and zero acidity, giving the namesake ellipsoidal fruit nothing to be proud of. Ace-k and sucralose, a commonplace blend of false sugars, are not invested in the experience and help craft a beverage so boring to drink. They burn your palate, sips leave your tastebuds but remain stained of the synthetic saccharinity. But it is the sourness, rather the lack thereof, that grinds my gears the most- has anyone in the Bang company ever tasted a real lemon?! Forgive my pun, but this is one variety the Bang brand should just drop.

Here is when things get good, with all that caffeine I mentioned earlier giving a rocking buzz. It is the kind of kick that you look for in the best drinks. Other ingredients include: B vitamins, creatine, and coenzyme Q10. In the end, Bang Lemon Drop screws up such a simple flavor that not even its potency can save it from a huge thumbs down.

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Bang Purple Haze Energy Drink Review

The can is as dull as it always is, a cool name with a design so brazenly disinteresting. Where is the fun? Where is the hype? There is 300 milligrams of caffeine here, you would think that would help define the label's focus.

No silly tricks here- Bang Purple Haze is grape all the way, and it is a pretty decent one, considering the artificial sweeteners had to mask all the chemicals. It is soda-inspired no doubt, super sweet, actually, it is  relentlessly saccharine and it bogs down your palate, remaining deep inside your taste buds; do not be surprised to be eating dinner later that week and be wondering why your steak has a distant "sweetness" to it. Yet, all the supplements listed on the back of the can, most of which I doubt do anything pure caffeine can't do, the experience here is a fairly standard sugar free grape energy drink, nothing more and fortunately nothing less.

Each can contains 300 milligrams of caffeine. How about that! There are plenty of other things listed on the back of the can, from B vitamins to creatyl-l-leucine. Know what that is? Well you do not need to- just know that the caffeine gives a rocking buzz, lasting three and a half hours without hesitation. Overall, Bang Purple Haze's amazingly boring can and amazingly average taste are slightly overruled by its dynamite kick.

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Bang Root Beer Blaze Energy Drink Review

Back today is Bang, the flavor? Root Beer Blaze, a fantastic name on a lamentably lethargic can. Again the crosshair smack dab in the middle of the large "b" is a fun touch, but for a can with 300 milligrams of caffeine, this design fails to get the blood pumping.

Bang continues to flounder with flavor, even with a unique and stalwart taste like root beer. Look how well Bawls did it! Here, the potent potable drinks as any generic diet root beer does, only much worse than that. It is onenote, a diluted mess of every low-grade commercial flavor profile, with a weak effervescence and terrible saccharinity. Where are the husky hues of sassafras, molasses or dozens of barks and extracts? Flooded out by a sweetness so feeble and finished by a sour, metallic aftertaste, that's where. Our friends sucralose and ace-k give one of their least inspired performances, so grossly unenthused and misproportioned that every imbibe is a struggle, particularly the aftertaste, which is inappropriately acidic and spoiled tasting, most likely due to all the supplements crammed into this sixteen ounce transport. This is one ungodly energy drink.

Each can contains a rock-solid 300 milligrams of caffeine, as well as a myriad of vitamins and other "energy" producing stuff. The buzz is a cool three and a half hour one, and is about the only reason to ever finish an entire serving of Bang Root Beer Blaze. It is lousy in a hateful fashion.

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Bang Cotton Candy Energy Drink Review

Another Bang another day, I suppose, this time Cotton Candy flavored. Its can suffers from the same misfires as the earlier Sour Heads variety did, with a largely boring black can and a sterile design. Sure, it is easy to read and all, but at what cost?

Well, it certainly tastes like cotton candy, for better or worse. It has that familiar blue raspberry and vanilla flavor down to a "t," with its sweetness and almost powdery mouthfeel allowing passive sips to resemble the spun sugar confection. What works particularly well, if not surprisingly, is the saccharinity; sure, it is purely synthetic, but the sham sugars, the familiar cocktail of sucralose and ace-k, lack the weight of true carbohydrates, giving every sip an airy, weightless texture that bodes oh so well to the novelty taste. Still, sixteen ounces is a lot to stomach for such a gimmicky flavor, and unless you are a professional energy drink critic, you probably will not finish an entire can.

Each can contains: creatine, B vitamins, coenzyme Q10, vitamin C and 300 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz here is rocking, lasting around three and a half hours, with some jitters- surprising, considering the lack of sugar. On the whole, Bang Cotton Candy is a peculiar drink, and if I used both thumbs, one would be up with the other the other way.

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Bang Sour Heads Energy Drink Review

Bang is a pretty fantastic name for an energy drink, and although its can is clean and appealing, it lacks the exploding creativity its moniker suggests. The large "b" with a crosshair is a nice touch, but the large, blank background feels like something of a missed opportunity.

The flavor is not as sour as the can promises, actually, it is only mildly acidic; what a disappointment! In terms of flavor, there is not much to speak of, a muddled cocktail of grapefruit, green apple and lemon, cloaked by coarse carbonation and an overwhelming artificial sweetener taste, from the ace-k and sucralose used. It is not a sweet drink, but your tongue feels the burn from the synthetic sugars as well as the overcoming quantity of supplement ingredients; you sip constantly hoping to wash the slightly metallic, almost bitter stain off your palate, only for each subsequent imbibe to introduce reinforcements for the unpleasant aftertaste.

Each can contains: B vitamins, vitamin C, coenzyme Q10, creatine, and 300 milligrams of caffeine. The buzz is without a doubt the best thing about this produce, a kick lasting well north of the three hour range, if you can stomach the taste. Overall, Bang Sour Heads' potency is only thing that gives you any bang for your buck.

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