Unwell Apple Cider Donut Energy Drink Review

Are you unwell? You have barely touched your apple cider donut energy drink. What kind of name is this!? The can is a scrambled wreck of bubble letters, with an awful rendition of the fried favorite that has the world's smallest bite taken out of it. That is not a good sign of a quality doughnut. It does at least say autumn, even if it screams it in an obnoxious voice.

The front of the can proudly boasts how this was made without the use of artificial sweeteners, staying instead with a few grams of cane sugar and stevia leaf extract. A gentle pull of the top tab and out pours a dull green elixir out from the predominately red metal transport. My nose is flooded with the scent of apples and, much to my pleasant surprise, a bit of cakey warmness. This had my spirits running high, until I took a sip. My god what in hell is this. What begins as any regular apple energy drink swiftly devolves into a cacophonic cup of complete crap. The familiar fall favorite is held for a single, solitary moment before losing out to the "natural flavors" doing their worst pastry impersonation. It is not yeasty but instead chemically leavened, and let me tell you this tastes like chemicals. A donut flavored caffeinated cocktail is strange enough, but Unwell goes several steps further in the absolute wrong, unexpected and boneheaded direction. Somehow, sips achieve the impossible by removing the moisture from your tongue as if sipping liquid crumbs. Your mouth thusly dehydrates, only to be immediately rehydrated by the same flavors that turned your face into a twisted mess of muscles sore from their twelve ounce beating. Gulps climax with an apple reprieve that gives way to more sweetness and a shockingly ugly maillard reaction impression that leaves your gag reflex no choice but to be on standby.

All that rotten fluid now sitting in my tummy and for what, just 150 milligrams of caffeine? Oh sure yeah, vitamins also make an appearance, but you want to know what also has vitamins? Actual apples. Overall, I admire Unwell Apple Cider Donut's ambition, but lament its naivety in thinking it could actually achieve it.

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Bucked Up Rocket Pop Energy Drink Review

The Bucked Up brand is back with a particularly patriotic potable, inspired no doubt by a certain frozen ice treat popular around the fourth of next month. For what it is, the visuals are appealing, clean with only a slight buildup of text towards the bottom of the design, but hey, aside from me, what is perfect?

The flavor is dynamite, an explosion of strawberry, blue raspberry, and grape balanced in surprising harmony. You can taste the trilogy with every part of your tongue, all furthest from anything found in actual nature but immensely thirst-quenching, especially on a hot summer day; nailing both the sweet and sour profile expected from its obvious influence. But what sets the experience apart from other, lesser potations is the texture, a powdery mouthfeel that so many diet drinks are sorely missing. Is it one-dimensional? Yeah, but so what, I gulped and gulped until there was but nary a drip left inside its sixteen ounce walls, and that folks is the sign of a solid energy drink.

With 300 milligrams of caffeine, the kick is what a taste like this deserves, a rocking one. Lasting three and a half hours, the buzz is exactly what you would expect. Other ingredients include B vitamins, taurine, and others. In the end, Rocket Pop is not only the best Bucked Up, it is one of the better energy drinks in general in a long, long time.

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Spylt Caffeinated Strawberry Milk Review

Well slap the coffee out of my hands and color me surprised- today finds us a caffeinated strawberry milk! Actually, this is more a strawberry protein shake ala Muscle Monster, but hey, lemme have this fantasy; the one every young energy fiend dreams of in the cafeteria of their high school, still being served those little cartons of moo juice. The can, however, is a bit of a mess, the white text failing to read well off of the red and pink background.

Pouring out thick like eggnog and hued like bismuth subsalicylate, you take your first sip and by-golly, does this take me back to when I was just a young little Caffeine Prince: this tastes exactly like strawberry milk, and I am all for it. What the fruit lacks in subtle sweetness, bright nuance and fresh juiciness, it more than makes up for by sipping like my youth. The twenty milligrams of protein hardly have any influence over the experience, its usual chalky mouthfeel gone in favor of phenomenal creaminess. What is most surprising though is how the eleven ounce offering offers zero grams of fat, ultrafiltered "skim milk blend" taking the number one spot on the ingredient list. Carrageenan no doubt does much of the textural heavy lifting, somehow able to properly impersonate the milky lush. And then there is the ace-k and sucralose, who handle the sweetening, never taste outwardly artificial, each mouthful being just the right level of saccharine. It might be overly simple and even a bit juvenile, but I could easily crush another Spylt can.

There are just sixty milligrams of my namesake stimulant; it is an unfortunate amount, since the lovely flavor could have easily stood up against a few dozen more milligrams. But with a flavor this good, who the hell cares?

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Yerbaé Pumpkin Spice Energy Drink Review

Sometimes you stumble upon an energy drink and it instantly fills you with dread: why "this" flavor? Why "this" brand? Or my expression when I witnessed Yerbaé Pumpkin Spice: why "me?" I guess that is unfair to Yerbaé here, the can is an absolute joy to look at, the stark black backdrop really makes the orange pop. But come on, pumpkin spice tea?

Contrary to the words I just typed, I do try and give all products reviewed here the benefit of the doubt, but Yerbaé Pumpkin Spice is, hands down, one of the least appealing things I have ever splashed onto my tongue. There is a slight oiliness from the tea, the white variety used here, which immediately grabs onto your tastebuds, refusing to give way no matter how hard you try to ignore it. But for something that pretends to be "pumpkin spice," there is not only very little of the former but also almost none of the latter- rather the Stevia leaf extract makes the entire experience inappropriately sweet. It also cancels out nearly all of any bitterness the tea could have brought to the party, leaving only an undercurrent of earthiness to every imbibe. It is, in short, pretty terrible. Then there is the carbonation, which truly pushes this into the realm of unpalatable. Not only would being non-carbonation result in only fifteen ounces, instead of the present sixteen, to have to force down, but the tea would have felt a bit more at home. Kinda the way coffee has no reason coupling with effervescence, though that has not stopped companies before.

We do get 160 milligrams of caffeine, which is nice, but oh golly is the journey to feel that resulting two hour buzz a struggle. I do with the kick was a bit stronger, all things considering, but then again, the can never really calls itself an "energy drink." It certainly proclaims to provide energy, and it is a drink, but Yerbaé appears afraid of the implications with the soft drink genre.

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Slate Espresso Chocolate Milk Energy Coffee Review

Slate is an oddball beverage, with its label attached to the twelve ounce aluminum can like a sticker. It is lactose free, but the biggest curiosity is how it is marketed as an "espresso chocolate milk," opposed to a more commercial mocha coffee. These quirks are what gives it its personality, something notable to help it stand out in my shelf of energy products to review; I call it "the graveyard;" every time I pondered the next review, this unique release always was in the back of my mind once I chose something else.

I opened the can and took a sip, and there are moments which are good but far more which are disappointing. The coffee resembles less a cup of joe and more like someone who just woke up with coffee breath, a major breach in promise from a package that proudly proclaims espresso. It has the essence of the bean brew but none of its loud flavor, lacking any bitterness or roasted goodness. Other aspects are handled with a bit more flair fortunately. The cacao moo juice, the other half of the advertised flavor, benefits from the sweetness, although a darker chocolate, something with a flavor other than sugar, would have helped rescue this overwhelmingly basic experience. Things could use a gram or two more of fat; currently clocking in at half a gram, the mouthfeel feels skimmed of the lovingly lardaceousness such an underbaked experience required as a backbone. But it falls apart the more you imbibe, and by the time the can is practically weightless and depleted of its contents, you struggle to remember anything about it, positive or negative.

For energy, we just get caffeine, and sometimes that is just all you need. 150 milligrams proves capable of a two and a half hour kick, and there is no crash, which is more than a plus. Overall, Slate's innovative premise crumbles once you crack open a can and discover the experience resembles Autocrat coffee syrup mixed with prepackaged chocolate milk more than anything.

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Red Bull The Summer Edition Curuba Elderflower Energy Drink Review

Judging from all the pollen crusting all the buildings and cars nearby, Red Bull's "The Summer Edition" for 2024 is a few months early. But that is OK; though I am disenfranchised with their namesake product, their season spin-offs, even when generally unpleasant, remain interesting. This time the purported produces are curuba and elderflower, fruits so unusual my spell-check yells that they are not even words! Perhaps my computer is just uncultured swine!?

Upon cracking open the twelve ounce can, the bizarre scent of apple and bubble gum pours out. It is, interesting, to say the least. Flavor-wise, sips earthy, like a mouthful-of-soil earthy, but at least it is fresh soil, no worms here. Combating that, there is a sourness that would make a lemon blush and a sweetness that could cause candy to become green with envy. The purported curuba and elderflower impressions are unconvincing, rendered here tasting more like the common Granny Smith apple, tangerine and pineapple than anything the average person would have to Google. It is not bad though! The juxtaposition of dirty herbal funk and complete confection means that each imbibe is a fascinating adventure in idiosyncrasy, the company throwing mainstream appeal out the window and going-for-broke, even if it does end up tasting, well, broken.

The paltry 114 milligrams of caffeine means I sit and wait for a buzz that ultimately never comes; the mild lift experienced is just enough to sate one's chemical addiction, but only just. Overall, if I could only use one word to describe Red Bull The Summer Edition Curuba Elderflower, it would not be "good" or "bad" or even "OK;" it would be "weird."

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Starbucks Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar Energy Coffee Review

I do love it when a big company gets a bit more comfortable with their brands and release something creative. Today's example is Starbucks' Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar, which has all the fat but none of the, well, sugar. We have had reduced calorie energy coffees on The Caffeine King before, but none from a brand quite so ubiquitous as Starbucks, who's logos and design language is front-and-center on this otherwise busy can.

How this is "milk chocolate" and not "mocha" is beyond my palate's comprehension, because what we have here is the same old flavor so many tongues have tested. That on its own is not a bad thing, mind you, but milk chocolate is characterized by its sweetness, something achieved here via the synthetic sugar sucralose and inositol (a sugar alcohol). This leaves the experience with a sort of chemical bitterness, astringency absolutely unlike that of an actual coffee. The cocoa ends up without a pleasant candied mouthfeel, which is only further destroyed by the use of ghee butter, oils and gums, a texture so chalky you feel you might burp up dust. And just when you thought you were almost done here, you pick up the aluminum transport, only to realize you have over half a can left. Please, someone send help!

225 milligrams of caffeine makes for a good kick, a three hour long one that I am not totally convinced is worth suffering through for. Overall, Starbucks Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar trips hard over its own ambition.

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Red Bull The Winter Edition Pear Cinnamon Energy Drink Review

Red Bull must be stopped; not only is their 2023's "The Winter Edition" already on store shelves (it is not even Halloween yet), but the flavor is pear... cinnamon? And according to the can, it is artificially flavored! Yeah yeah sure I like the deep crimson coloring but I mean, what is next? Eggnog? Balsam furn?

No no no, Caffeine King, do not go and give them ideas.

With the narrow spout used for sipping cracked, my nose was excited at the highly fragranced elixir inside these aluminum walls. Pear and cinnamon may appear on the outside of the can but the scent is pure apples, specifically Red Delicious. And I do not mean those gnarly little orbs you find in the grocery store: I mean the large, hefty specimens one only finds hand-picked off the tree at an orchard mid autumn. The first sip simultaneously assuages my fears and matches my nostrils' enthusiasm: the company again knocked it out of the park. I can taste the slight earthiness of the bright red peel, rumbling just beneath the cotton-white flesh of juicy sweetness and understated acidity. This is, without question, one of the most respectful apple energy drinks I have ever had, even if it does not want to admit it. I gulped and gulped my way through the twelve ounces on offer here and I cannot detect any pear or any cinnamon, and you know what, for once I am happy with the deceit. If anything, it was a little slice of commercialism wrapped up as an early Christmas gift.

I have no idea why the company continues to push something with just 114 milligrams of caffeine, but here we are. The buzz is pretty sad if you compare to, well, anything else on the market that has cropped up since the Bang brand took the potent potable world by storm, but oh well. The two hours you get here is fine, I guess, but a blend of some vitamins and taurine is nothing special anymore. Overall, Red Bull The Winter Edition Pear Cinnamon continues the company's tradition of making surprising and exciting holiday beverages. I dunno about you, but I am looking forward to 2024.

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Mtn Dew Flamin' Hot Soda Review

Someone needs to tell Mtn Dew to calm down- it feels like every week they release some crazy new product, but this takes the cake. A spicy soda? No thank you. But I believe in full-service reviews here at The Caffeine King, so "sorry" to my palate but "you are welcome" to readers. The packaging is wild in the best possible way, yet its bright red coloring feels at odds with its citrus sub-flavoring.

Whether or not I prepared for the worst or I was just plain wrong, but things are significantly less "hot" than I feared. Well actually hold on a sec, I am finishing my first mouthful here and- blech, yuck, this is nasty and if I could I would erase that first sentence. The rear of my throat burns with the heat unlike a pepper and more like a cinnamon candy or perhaps fireball whisky, it sticking to my palate, never yielding to any subsequent sip. Seventy three grams of sugar, all added and all from high fructose corn syrup, only intensifies the unpleasant sensation by thickening the texture to the point of carbonated sludge. As for the initial flavor, before the grody aftertaste, it is an unsophisticated lemon/lime hybrid that has minimal changes from base Mtn Dew. What else am I supposed to say? How about this: if I was not an honest critic, I would dump the remaining ounces down the sink, burn the bottle and never speak of this again.

With nearly a day and a half worth of the suggested intake of sugar, finishing an entire bottle is not only unsavory but also unhealthy. But hey, who here reads a Mtn Dew review expecting health advise? As for us caffeine kings, queens and all members of the royal family, there is ninety one milligrams, a solid amount for something lacking the word "energy" on the packaging. Overall and probably unsurprisingly, this drink sucks.

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Ghost Blue Raspberry Sour Patch Kids Energy Drink Review

Sour Patch Kids are for kids- I mean, it is right in the name! Yet that did not stop Ghost from licensing the brand for a blue raspberry flavor. The can is bright and cheery, very appropriate for the namesake, but please, would somebody think of the children!

The flavor is exceptionally sour, which makes sense with regards to the company crossover, but it does not mean that my palate ever wanted to sip something so egregiously acidic. The problem has less to do with respecting the fruit it impersonates; "blue raspberry" is not something found in nature, so the experience becomes sixteen ounces of liquid candy. A citrus drink would work here, but that is not what we taste. Instead, sips resemble raspberry and blueberry if they were born in a lab rather than from soil. A proper sweetness could have helped, but with only sucralose and ace-k, diet sugars that cowardly bow to the tartness' relentless grasp.

Ghost offers 200 milligrams of caffeine, which is enough for a very respectable three hour long kick. Other ingredients include vitamins, taurine, extracts and others. I wish it contained better taste, but alas, I do not see that listed on the back of the can.

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Hype Mojito Energy Drink Review

Back out of nowhere is the Hype brand, this time the flavor is Mojito; found at a far away gas station and had two separate can designs, both dated the same year and with the same ingredients. Let us just assume it is just a simple can redesign (let us also just ignore that giant ugly sticker the convenience store owner slapped on the front of the can).

First sip examples a potent lime flavor, with a heavy mint aftertaste lingering after each imbibe. The mint steals the show here though, with the beverage's "natural flavors" doing their best by bringing an earthiness to the chilling herb. Twenty eight grams of sugar sweeten with an almost overwhelming saccharinity, but the drink's robust tartness counters the sugariness- birthing an experience so saccharine yet so sour. This sensation works marvelously with the flavors, each sip mixes the exotic and warmth of the citrus with the cooling touch of the mint into one great tasting cocktail-inspired cocktail. But the drink's only misstep is its coloring. Its hyper green iridescence that is a far cry from the famous highball's trademark cloudy pellucidity.

Each can contains: taurine, B vitamins, 120 calories, and eighty milligrams of caffeine. The kick lasts the standard two hours, a buzz you have experienced far too many times before. On the whole, Hype Mojito is a tasty but derivative energy drink.

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Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Chocolate Mocha Caffeinated Donut Review

Now we are talking! A chocolate donut, one of my favorite flavors, becomes even more tantalizing when it is caffeinated. Hostess' previous product, their Caramel Macchiato pastry, did a lot right considering the creation's kookiness. Its appearance remains a bit vague with its potency, but hey, sometimes you gotta read for the reward.

The black round pulls apart with minimal effort, and when your sticky fingers lift it to your mouth, it yields to your chomping jaw and eager tastebuds. The flavor is, well, chocolate, the mocha the packaging promises is a complete lie and missed opportunity. I do not care though, because bite after bite, this is a donut, and that is all you really could ever want. The sugary glaze the sweetmeat is dipped in adds a touch of brief textural dissonance, a touch of crunch that soon too dissolves into a pool of saccharine symphony. If I had to argue anything against Hostess' second coffee adaptation, it would be its slight dryness once your teeth sink in. Once it becomes a disintegrated pulp, the mash hydrates into pool of confection perfection, so, I dunno. I liked it. What else can I say?

There is only fifty to seventy milligrams of caffeine, a small amount but whatever, I would take a weak hour-long kick over a bitter taste. In the end, Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Chocolate Mocha is a caffeinated donut. Now we just need that caffeinated Twinkie.

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Meltdown Frosé Rosé Energy Drink Review

From the makers of Bang comes Meltdown, an energy drink with an equally awesome name but pathetically lethargic look. How can I get excited about an entirely white can loaded with far too much text. There is hardly an explanation what the difference between the two brands, except for the obviously smaller can. Maybe it has to do with ingredients, but how many times do I need to say it: caffeine, nothing else, is what really gives us the kick. Not only that, but if your product needs all those words to explain what makes it unique, then you are really grasping at straws.

Frosé Rosé is a creative flavor proposition, but Meltdown has very little to do with its purported alcoholic inspiration. Sips are sour like a kid's candy, though this is very much not for younglings, the distant taste of blue raspberry is about the only thing that breaks through the insistent tartness. Sucralose is the only sweeter on the clock, present purely to prevent gulps from resembling battery acid. There is so little else going on here, an experience most certainly drinkable, but lacking any, any personality.

225 milligrams of caffeine, vitamins, electrolytes and D-ketones make up the energy blend. To be fair, the buzz is solid, lasting three hours for me and could easily last just as long for you. Overall, Meltdown Frosé Rosé will not, ahem, meltdown the competition.

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Punch'd Energy Gummies Review

Gummies are not the most common delivery method for caffeine, but sitting coyly at my local gas station was Punch'd. Though the platinum pouch produces only ten pieces, it sports a resealable top, which is a nice touch and shows a lot of care went into the product. Visually, it is about what you would expect from an energy candy, looking as hardcore as any but with far too much text towards the bottom.

The company's website lists six flavors: lime, orange, peach, grape, apple and of course, fruit punch('d), but after an easy tear of the packaging out pours six (six!) of the lattermost flavor. Where is the consistency!? 

The sole apple piece had a strong homogenized appearance, with a touch of tartness but hits the tongue like the cheapest juice. Fruit punch is an indistinct mashing of tropical favorites, mostly guava, pineapple and cherry, but the minimal time it spends on the palate offers it very little personality outside its obvious indulgences. Grape does taste like the little purple pod, being both a bit sweeter and a bit more bold than the others- I wished my satchel procured more than just a single gummy here. The final two that plopped out from the bag were lime, leaning heavy into the citrus' inherit sourness. There is a satisfying chew as your teeth sink into the sugar-crusted gem, holding stiff against your chompers and mouth's general heat. Due to the involvement of caffeine, there is a touch of bitterness that creeps through the saccharine bliss, but popping in another morsel mostly melts away any astringency.

The buzz, thanks to 100 milligrams of my namesake chemical, was a solid if unspectacular two hours. Yet, who knows if any more stimulant would have negatively impacted the taste? Overall, I wish I could have fairly approach Punch'd, but without being able to sample each fruit the company offers, my opinion is incomplete and my impression sullied.

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Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes Caramel Macchiato Caffeinated Donut Review

To be completely honest, Hostess Boost, a caffeinated, coffee-flavored donut, is perhaps the most obvious bakery item to be transformed by my namesake. (Now all one needs is donut-shop coffee to wash it down.)

The problem, however, lies in its visual execution; the name, "Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes," is far too long. Is that even its proper name? Who knows? But then again why would all that text be on the packaging? Another issue is its potency deemphasis; I can easily imagine an adult purchasing this to satiate a small child, only to then have a really bad time babysitting.

It does smell like a donut, or at least, a pre-packaged one, with a hint of burnt sugar that tickled my nose. As my teeth sunk in for their first bite, the glazed round surrendered and melted into a chewy slurry of mass-manufactured bliss by the gentle heat and mild moisture of my mouth. It is of the cake variety (obviously so, when you think about how poorly the yeast-based versions age), but it came out of the plastic wrapping relatively damp with baked-good goodness. Within moments on the tongue, the dessert mash vanishes into a paste of simple sweetness, and then it is onto the next mouthful. The most impressive thing here is the absence of bitterness. Sure, we have only fifty to seventy milligrams of caffeine, but that could have easily turned each piece into an excruciating exercise in chemical mismanagement. Perhaps that is because the actual flavor is that of, for lack of better words, a basic donut, the caramel macchiato promise a broken one. Good thing I am a pushover for donuts and do not care.

All we really have is caffeine in the aforementioned amount, which really is not good enough I am afraid. For me at least, the buzz was a paltry hour and a half long, really only satisfying your morning hunger for the stimulant. Overall, Hostess Boost Caramel Macchiato Caffeinated Donut is, in fact, a donut with caffeine. That is about all you need to know.

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Mtn Dew Gingerbread Snap'd Soda Review

It would not be the holiday season if Mtn Dew did not pump out a crazy themed drink. The flavor this year is gingerbread, which, despite having experienced over a thousand different potent potables here on The Caffeine King, is a first. The bottle is festive but goofy, with angry gingerbread men participating in what looks like a deadly snowball fight. Hey, for the kids.

Now despite being kooky at first glance, gingerbread makes sense as a soft drink, considering ginger ale exists in multiple varieties for over a century. And you can ignore the "bread" part of its nom de plume, this is as basic a spice taste as you can purchase commercially. The namesake root rests on the palate alone, working without any cinnamon or nutmeg to help capture the mood of those little men-shaped cookies. Instead the distilled "Mtn Dew" base, a lemon, lime and grapefruit trilogy that beeps each imbibe with its faint fruit impression. It is not half bad honestly, but twenty ounces is a lot to stomach for such a gimmicky libation. And perhaps the most egregious element is the sweetness, seventy two grams of high fructose corn syrup that melts into every nook and cranny your tongue offers, and every subsequent sip just furthers its saccharine excess instead of washing away what the former gulp left. Without any acidity to break through the sugariness, what began as a decent little experiment becomes just way, way too much.

Now this is just a soda, so caffeine hounds do not expect an energy drink kick. We do get ninety one milligrams of my namesake chemical, but the real potency is the sugar rush. In the end, Mtn Dew Gingerbread Snap'd is a lump of coal in the stocking.

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Awake Cinnamon Bun Energy Granola Bar Review

Sister of the wonderful energy chocolates, comes this new form of self-caffeination: energy granola bars. Its packaging is typical for the food it impersonates, however its cute owl and health-food-like wrapping, though saving it from the usual "energy" product trappings, cannot convey its, admittedly mild, caffeine-content convincingly.

The svelte, one and change ounce bar smells fantastic, earthy and spicy with an edge of tender sweetness. The taste? Even better! Each bite bends off of the soft block, chewy like any worthy bar but never tires the jaw. Chewing releases the initially subtle sapors of cinnamon, the seasoning bursting with impressive balance between spicy and sweet. There is a lot of sugar but the molasses stands out, augmenting the spiciness while brining a level of depth to it, though more than one would probably prove too much. There is a bottom of real white chocolate, an attribute easy to ignore and ultimately forget, adding only additional sugariness and a bit of smoothness to the otherwise chunky mouthfeel. Overall, Awake Cinnamon Bun is most impressive for a granola bar, and even more so for a caffeinated one.

Each bar contains just fifty milligrams of caffeine, equivalent to your typical sugared citrus soda. The buzz is the same you would get from the aforementioned, but two is where it is at. However, flavor-wise, one bar is just enough; two can become overwhelming. In the end, Awake Cinnamon Bun Energy Granola Bar is the first of its kind reviewed here, and although the kick is not as potent as the word "energy" insinuates, it makes you wonder why we are just now experiencing this form of caffeinated treat.

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Bang Champagne Energy Drink Review

There is a reason Bang Champagne was for sale at the local Dollar Tree; the sparkling wine has no reason being in energy drinks! The can does at least use the right color scheme, but the visuals are lethargic, failing to convey a sense of urgency or a premium look. It is, instead, simply that same old design with a lot of gold.

This is, without question, one of the most unorthodox tastes my tongue has ever witnessed. It is fruity, creamy, sweet and has an unmistakable alcohol burn. There is in fact no actual booze here, but the food scientists at Bang have done their homework; each imbibe climaxes with a harsh, indistinct sting that lingers well after the physical liquid is quaffed. The unfortunate thing is how unpleasant this characteristic is, an element present out of obligation to the French bubbly and not to any benefit to the actual experience. It derails every sip with its idiosyncratic involvement, something that even my fingers and all the thesauruses in the world cannot do justice in describing. As for the remainder of potable, the combination of vanilla and produce make their own mistake, a grave one: it is way, way too saccharine! Acidity is forgotten here, which aborts the development of the flavors involved, resulting in a most basic representation. Not to say that sourness could rescue this product, but it would at least show some consideration behind the ideas inception.

A four hour long kick from 300 milligrams is what my body got, however, who knows if the extended buzz was a result of my slowed sipping, trying to wrap my head around its puerile peculiarity. Other ingredients include B vitamins, eaa aminos, creatine, among others.

The front of the can reads than Bang is "potent brain and body fuel." That's incorrect; it should read "impotent taste."

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G Fuel Red Licorice Energy Drink Review

G Fuel continues their love affair with candy, this time taking on the company of red licorice. It is a pretty gross sounding combination, you know, drinking Twizzlers or Red Vines, whichever sugar strip is your pleasure, and its shrink-wrapped can does little to assuage this fear. It is splatted with gnarly shades of crimson, complete with large "Sheetz Exclusive" badge at the top (and, offscreen, on the side too). If you always wished for a regional gas station licensed energy drink flavored of movie-theater candy, well, thanks, now I have to review it.

Red Licorice this is not- this is sixteen ounces of medicine, only without a spoonful sugar to help it go down. My tongue tells my brain to have my fingers write that this is not strawberry, but instead a yucky blend of raspberry and cherry, with a synthetic sweetness that cancels out any plausible acidity. What ends up on your palate is the impression of tartness that fails to be, well, tart, as if sourness once lived here and only its slight smell lingers. Thanks to sucralose and acesulfame potassium, the mouthfeel is tepid, airy in the sense that sips glide over your palate with no weight or texture, leaving behind a heavy stain of general unpleasantness. Picture your childhood self, sick with whatever ailment was going around your daycare, and your parents give you thirty milliliters of red cough syrup. Not a good memory is it? Now imagine yourself today, only you are not sick, and nobody is making you drink it.

What we do get is an awesome 300 milligrams of caffeine, along with some vitamins, green tea and green coffee bean extract. The buzz is without a doubt the best thing here, with a kick that hits fast and lasts a solid three hours. But you should not have to experience flashbacks of gagging on Nyquil to get a buzz. Well, at least not the buzz I am interested in.

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3D Berry Blue Energy Drink Review

Now here is an energy drink that is either brilliant or stupid, although I am banking on the former. No pointless imagery or unnecessary text to clutter the aluminum retail space, we have the brand, flavor, and other requirements, but that is it! Its tall can stands proud in the energy drink cooler of my local gas station.

With 200 milligrams of caffeine, this is no doubt one of the super-potent drinks that flooded the market once the Bang brand gained traction. It might be 100 milligrams below its competition, but that ends up being its biggest benefit; sips are far from corrosive, with the three-tiered blend of erythritol, sucralose and ace-k able to just keep the experience from sinking into the dark abyss of badness oh-so common with this style of potation. The can heralds the taste to be "Berry Blue," which might as well read "generic blue raspberry," a very candy-inspired interpretation of the fake fruit flavorant that itself is relatively gentle on the tongue. Acidity is muted but present, a docile sourness who primarily exists to scrapes off any nasty artificial sweetener taste from the palate, giving imbibes an "almost" clean finish.

The aforesaid quantity of my namesake chemical gives you an immediate kick that lasts for three hours. Other ingredients include vitamins, taurine, ginseng, guarana, inositol, among others. To end, Berry Blue may be an imperfect introduction to the 3D line, but it does not scare me away from it.

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