Starbucks Frappuccino Lite Double Chocolate Gelato Review

Finally, a ready-to-drink coffee that will not have you rushing out to buy pants the next size up. This Starbucks' Frappuccino here has just 100 calories, and the baby blue signaling its diet distinction works well against the brown of both the coffee and the label. But what kind of flavor is "double chocolate gelato?" Was "single chocolate" just not enough?

A gentle twist of the metal lid and off it comes, exposes a large cavity filled with little bubbles from the good ol' shake I gave it. The flavor is both under and overwhelming, and never quite in a good way- the three and a half grams of fat immediately clings to your tongue, refusing to leave and staining your entire palate with a mix of cheap chocolate and diet sweetener. We have nine grams of sugar, none of which is added, but the experience is so sodden with the synthetic sugar sucralose that it becomes about all you can taste. The rare moment your poor mouth is able to notice something other than artificial honey, it ends up being a most unsatisfying mocha. Missing is the robust oomph my body pined for, instead it is slightly chalky and one-dimensional. The only thing worthy of any positives is the dairy goodness, a mix of reduced-fat milk, skim milk and cream who's velvety texture truly feels good to drink as you knock back sips. You may have noticed I have not mentioned that delicious bean brew yet; that is because none of the nine and a half ounces ever taste like it. Silly me for expecting coffee in my chilled coffee drink.

I wish I did not have to check the interwebs, but the heavy glass jar here does not mention how much caffeine is inside. Considering the quantity is just forty milligrams, I suppose I am not surprised they were too ashamed.

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Starbucks Tropical Peach Iced Energy Drink Review

Considering its carbonated existence, I do not recommend consuming Starbucks' new line of "Iced Energy" drinks- I am no food scientist, but it would surely go flat! The can is fine, I suppose, featuring heavily the company's logo, even if it is packed with text varying not only in importance, but also size, fonts, colors and orientation! Worse yet is how some words, typed in silver, struggle to read against the white background.

Despite its unimpressive appearance, the elixir inside the thin aluminum walls is quite pleasant, and I would almost go as far as saying it is quite good. Almost. The peach is delicate on the tongue, a profile that straddles the line between candy and produce to craft a convincing commercial cocktail. Acidity is ultimately what makes the experience, sips crashing down only to immediately begin trying to curl your tongue and lips. But the sucralose and ace-k keep things from becoming all tartness, while the sourness simultaneously neutralizes the synthetic sugars from becoming all you can taste. In short, this is a balanced peach flavor that falters only when your palate notices its texture, an unsatisfyingly thin mouthfeel that could have been corrected by just a few grams of honest carbohydrates. Just a few I swear- no need to force 200 calories into this twelve ounce can or anything silly like that. But alas, I can only review the drink this is, not what I wish it was.

With 160 milligrams of caffeine, my body was relatively OK with the two hour long buzz it received. Other ingredients, such as ginseng and a couple vitamins, round out the energy blend; I am sure my doctor will be happy to read that I am taking my vitamins. 

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Starbucks Baya Raspberry Lime Energy Drink Review

Baya is back with variety number two, Raspberry Lime. The does the fruits justice, a pleasant combination of pink, green and blue, though the latter is a mystery unless the fake "blue raspberry" flavor is crashing the party. Yet text clumps up towards the bottom, with advertisements like vitamin C's inclusion as if its a rarity in the energy drink spectrum. It very much is not.

Like the brand's Pineapple Passionsfruit before it, Baya Raspberry Lime has a curtness issue. Sips are cacophonic, pummeling the palate with a unrefined carbonation and blunt punch of herbal funk. The benefit here is the acidity, an element equally sharp but present for the nectars it represents. Both raspberry and lime can be found on the tongue, but the twelve percentage content of juice is diluted by the presence of white grape, resulting in imbibes bringing blind sweetness to combat the otherwise terse acidity. Lemon is also listed, no doubt helping the potable's potent tartness, but my tongue feels mislead by the time the gulps are all gulped from the twelve ounce can.

The 160 milligrams of caffeine we have here is a fine amount, a far cry from the hyper-strength drinks that are so common these days, but that is OK. Not everyone needs that much energy, and the kick here is only two hour or so long. In the end, Starbucks Baya Raspberry Lime does not defy expectations, but the important thing to remember is: I had expectations.

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Starbucks Chocolate Cream Cold Brew Premium Coffee Drink Review

Unlike much of the company's canned caffeinated coffee cocktails, Starbucks Chocolate Cream Cold Brew does not explicitly call itself an "energy beverage," which is fine by me. Who needs the formulators being distracted by having to do anything but make a good RTD java? The can certainly is proud of its grounds steeping method, with the text "Cold Brew" appearing far larger than even the brand-name itself! But it is busy, with funky visuals and its alleged flavor written twice!

Somehow, with three grams of fat, half of which is saturated, the texture here is thinner than distilled water. Mouthfuls crash onto the palate with zero weight, perhaps having to do with skim milk appearing second (cream clocking in lower at number four) on the ingredient list, and you swish the cinnamon colored concoction around your mouth, hoping that some lardy goodness with cling to the walls of your tongue. But alas, that does not happen, instead washing away in a most unsatisfying climax, one filled only with the diluted nuance of something that once was a coffee, but is far past its prime. As for the bean brew, you get a hint of that lusted bitterness beneath a sweetness that only knows how to be sweet. There is no depth to any sip, especially the purported "chocolate cream," which has about as much cacao civility as Yoo-hoo. Still, I did deplete the contents of the can in what felt like record time, with only a drop or two left mere moments after cracking it open; suppose that is something.

Being very much not an energy coffee, the buzz here is not unlike your morning mugful from your favorite drip-brewer; it is about the only wholly satisfactory element here, actually.

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Starbucks Tripleshot Bold Mocha Energy Coffee Review

How is the "Bold Mocha" any different from Starbucks's previous "Cafe Mocha?" Both are part of the company's "Tripleshot Energy" branding, though the can here is a little eleven ounces, opposed to the larger fifteen. I do like the design here; even if it becomes a bit too heavy with text; words only move in a single direction, so your eyes have no trouble reading just what the heck we intend to drink today.

Have I had a "bolder" mocha before? Probably, as mouthfuls here are chalky and generally unpleasant to sip through. For once, I am happy the serving size has been reduced compared to its contemporaries. There is a weird astringency present in each and every sip, as if the 165 milligrams of caffeine and other supplements simply could not be masked by the two grams of fat and twenty two grams of sugar. But no, I know what is actually going on: inside the aluminum walls lives eight grams of protein, so gulps have this mossy, awkward personality that feels under-sweetened and overemphasized. This extends to the texture, which is heavy, gelled and generally difficult to work through- in fact, by the time you swallow the stiff substance, you immediately discover a thick film on your palate, a nasty reminder of a product gone awry. As for the coffee, the present asperity exists on the tongue independently from the bean brew's beloved bitterness, a characteristic so strong that it becomes all you can taste. It does not take long to recognize that there is no java here, only disappointment.

The two and a half hour long buzz here is nice but does not make up for the horrid taste. In addition to the aforementioned quantity of my namesake chemical, we have various vitamins, ginseng, guarana, and yes, protein. I do not know if the latter has anything to do with why I drink something caffeinated in the morning, but oh well. Avoid.

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Starbucks Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar Energy Coffee Review

I do love it when a big company gets a bit more comfortable with their brands and release something creative. Today's example is Starbucks' Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar, which has all the fat but none of the, well, sugar. We have had reduced calorie energy coffees on The Caffeine King before, but none from a brand quite so ubiquitous as Starbucks, who's logos and design language is front-and-center on this otherwise busy can.

How this is "milk chocolate" and not "mocha" is beyond my palate's comprehension, because what we have here is the same old flavor so many tongues have tested. That on its own is not a bad thing, mind you, but milk chocolate is characterized by its sweetness, something achieved here via the synthetic sugar sucralose and inositol (a sugar alcohol). This leaves the experience with a sort of chemical bitterness, astringency absolutely unlike that of an actual coffee. The cocoa ends up without a pleasant candied mouthfeel, which is only further destroyed by the use of ghee butter, oils and gums, a texture so chalky you feel you might burp up dust. And just when you thought you were almost done here, you pick up the aluminum transport, only to realize you have over half a can left. Please, someone send help!

225 milligrams of caffeine makes for a good kick, a three hour long one that I am not totally convinced is worth suffering through for. Overall, Starbucks Tripleshot Milk Chocolate Zero Sugar trips hard over its own ambition.

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Starbucks Doubleshot Mexican Mocha Energy Coffee Review

This Starbucks variety is visually is okay; it gets its point across, telling the consumer that this is a coffee, made from Starbucks, and its chocolate flavored. However, the radiant red top and nethermost circle struggle to harmonize with the browns and the whites of the painted aluminum.

For three grams of fat and twenty nine grams of sugar, this mocha experience is neither creamy or sweet enough. Every sip is thinner than it should be, without the weight or lardaceousness from all the saturated fat. The Mexican chocolate taste is disappointing, lacking the spicy punch of cinnamon or the expensive depth of vanilla. Instead, we have a Hershey's syrup flavor, thick and gooey without the intricacy or saccharinity. Actual coffee is also vaporous, never influencing the beverage outside the can; none of the bitter complexities or acidity, leaving a pale brown paste on the tongue. Things climax with a gossamery chalky mouthfeel, a relief from the rarefied texture but is simply a stymied substitution.

Every can contains: caffeine, taurine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins. Kicking like a coffee, the buzz lasted two hours at most, though there was more of a sugar rush. On the whole, Starbucks Doubleshot Mexican Mocha will disappoint you before you can finish saying its long name.

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Starbucks Baya Pineapple Passionfruit Energy Drink Review

Starbucks latest non-coffee-inspired energy endeavor is Baya, which debuted in three flavors and honestly, calls to mind the company's previous "Refreshers" efforts. We fortunately have a lot more caffeine to work with, 160 here opposed to the fifty from their previous potations, but, I dunno, when I think about the word "Starbucks," I think about java, not fruity juice blends.

Baya nearly punches your teeth out from your gums on your first sip- its carbonation so strong and flavor so on the forefront that your "flight or fight" reflexes turn into "swallow or spit." We here at The Caffeine King are dedicated to thorough reporting, so I winced my eyes shut, gulped, and moved on to my next. The following imbibe is a lot calmer, where the ten percentage of juice, a mix of white grape and pineapple, barely make a dent in the experience. The effervescence remains potent to the point of distraction, shoving the produce out of the way as it rocks your palate. What is left are hollow impressions of pineapple and passionfruit, the nectar center lost in a sea of all those little bubbles. A toothsome sweetness, twenty two grams of total sugar, and a playful tartness are segregated from the tropical plants, elements that interact independently and fails to create a cohesive cocktail.

160 milligrams of caffeine is always a nice find in a twelve ounce energy drink. The buzz lasts about two and a half hours, and it is all from my namesake chemical- no other silly stimulants needed. Well, we have vitamin C, but my lawyers Itchy and Twitchy tell me the jury is still out on the potency power of the water-soluble nutrient. 

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Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew Vanilla Sweet Cream Coffee Review

The wacky people at Starbucks are back with another odd release that comes in a stout nine-something ounce can. It mirrors a soda more so than any RTD coffee, dwarfed not only by its competition but also other releases by the company. That said, all you need is a quick glance at the can to tell it is a nitro cold brew coffee made by the famous Seattle roasters.

There is a disappointing head that creeps up to the top once you pour every ounce into a glass, as recommended by the text at the back of the can. The nitrogen hollows out the potentially heavy mouthfeel, as if made with water and skimmed milk instead of reduced fat moo juice and cream. Your tongue is bewildered to learn we have an entire gram and a half of fat here, but it is not for the better. The flavor is feebled, hardly simulating vanilla and even less impressive at impersonating java; this is again that generic canned coffee taste that are a dime a dozen in your convenience store's ice box, but this is where the texture continues to debilitate the experience. The liquid's desperate dearth of anything substantial on the palate has the consistency resembling the most diluted crap coffee with an oil-based creamer; this is not what its premium price-tag promises.

Ingredients include: cold brew coffee, low-fat milk, sugar, cream, flavors, pectin and nitrogen. We have seventy calories to work with and eleven grams of total sugar; this is a rather lean canned coffee. There is no mention of how much caffeine we have, but the buzz is not far off from what you get from an average cup of joe. Overall, Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew Vanilla Sweet Cream is drinkable, but it is not something I wanted to drink, in the first place or ever again.

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Starbucks Tripleshot Dark Roast Energy Coffee Review

A surprise on my local Target shelf, Starbucks Tripleshot debuts a new variety dubbed Dark Roast. The can design is identical to others in this more potent sub-line, and it continues to communicate well across its potency and coffee trademarks.

The flavor is not nearly as robust as the can claims, an experience far too lardaceous and saccharine to be properly labeled "dark roast." There is no teasing bitterness to any gulp, nothing that insinuates anything more than your usual outing from the company, and that is a shame. What I can say in its favor is the actual taste of coffee, which breaks through the dismal clouds of the dairy and sweetness, but it is not enough to have imbibes resembling anything remotely like your fresh mugful of joe in the morning. Three grams of fat, half of it saturated, and twelve grams of added sugar (twenty nine total), commercializes the experience into exactly what we have come to expect from a canned coffee, only this time Starbucks gave us false hopes with its "dark roast" pretenses.

Each can contains a cool 225 milligrams of caffeine, and it is here that we find the potable's strongest feature with a kick lasting a solid three and a half hours. Other ingredients include: B vitamins, ginseng, inositol, and guarana. To end, Starbucks Tripleshot Dark Roast arrives and dies with little fanfare.

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Starbucks Tripleshot Cafe Mocha Energy Coffee Review

Just one more shot, says Starbucks' newest drink line, Tripleshot. Ten years after the review of their just "double"shot Mocha flavor, Cafe Mocha comes in a fairly basic can, easy to read with that familiar green logo resting at the top of the design. It gets its point across; this drink contains a cool 225 milligrams of caffeine, though it does feel the need to over explain its potency.

The flavor is inordinately rich, like drinking fifteen ounces of melted chocolate gelato. There is absolutely no coffee to be tasted, lost in a thick swirl of mocha and milk. It does outweigh any bitterness the increased caffeine content could bring, leaving each imbibe free of any influence outside the dairy and cacao. The texture is outrageous, so decadent that the paltry three grams of fat (half saturated) seems like false advertising; how the second and third ingredients are reduced-fat milk and skim milk are beyond my taste buds. But it is good! It is far from the coffee drink the can so overly endorses and sips like a huge squirt of Hershey's syrup in a glass of half-and-half, but hey, why complain?

Each can contains an impressive 225 milligrams of caffeine, several B vitamins, ginseng, guarana, and inositol. The buzz is pretty good, lasting a solid three and change hours and ending without much in the way of a crash. In the end, Starbucks Tripleshot Cafe Mocha does little to reinvent the wheel, but never has the wheel been so chocolately good!

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Starbucks Frappuccino Pumpkin Spice Coffee Review

Pumpkin spice is a seasonal favorite in the realm of coffee, but it is a delicate dance of distinct tastes, and is easily distilled into a singular and generic "pumpkin spice" flavor. What Starbucks has in store for us is unknown as of now, but its bottle is appropriately orange, with little leaves that are a charming touch.

Nutmeg and cinnamon initiate the experience, with a wonderful spicy blend that has just enough depth for a bottled beverage. However, that wonderfulness is short lived, as as the viscous solution travels your tongue, its four and a half grams of fat whiteout any seasonal seasoning the cooler commences with. Sweetness is perfunctory, forty six grams of your usual sugar here to do the job, but it overwhelms as ounces are imbibed, diluting into your basic sugared coffee drink in a matter of only a few sips. For coffee lovers, you will be disappointed, as the thirteen plus ounces here taste as much like the bean as tea does.

Each bottle contains: water, coffee, milk, sugar, maltodextrin, cream, flavors and pectin. It is also partially produced with genetic engineering, which is a fun thing to see on a drink you just finished drinking. Its kick is that of a small coffee, with a sugar rush that gives the buzz a more sustained feel. Overall, Starbucks Frappuccino Pumpkin Spice stands as one of the line's better beverages, but it sadly does not stand for much else.

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Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Salted Caramel Review

This should be called "Cost Me 'bout Three Bucks" Doubleshot, because it did. But the petite size for the price aside, the can is strikingly similar to the previous varieties, though this one is choked by all the text towards the top. Do drinkers really need to see "espresso" thrice on the packaging?

Six and a half ounces, this unpleasantly sweet coffee lasts roughly three sips, less if you are not paying attention. The bitterness is a misstep, an aspect praised in the original, the astringency here is muted behind grams of sugar, seventeen to be exact. That saccharinity veils the namesake of this variety, both the "caramel" and the "salted," although the former could just be puffery for all that sugariness. It is a shame how the "salted" is such an exaggeration, always significantly sacchariferous despite its six percent daily intake of sodium. The cream, adding to the potable's extreme 140 calories, considering its size, is give grams of fat, and this lardaceousness is the best thing here, showing that three and a half grams of saturated fat is the way to go, your waist-line aside.

As of now, I cannot find any information regarding its caffeine content, but we can surmise it is in the 120 milligram range. The potency is the best thing here, the only aspect that benefits from the small size by hitting you as soon as you take your final gulp. In the end, Espresso & Salted Caramel is not the worst Starbucks brand canned beverage, but there is very little to recommend here.

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Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light Review

With its calorie content a more palatable seventy, as opposed to 140 in the original, Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light uses the same basic can but with the addition of a baby blue diagonal slash across the top of the petite six and a half ounce can. It is neither the worst nor the best appearing can, however, an ordinarily decent design tarnished by the chubby blue peak.

This belly-friendly beverage uses sucralose and ace-k in place of the original's sugar, although there is some sugar from other ingredients, and has an increased reliance on reduced-fat milk over the non-diet version's cream. The espresso taste remains fantastic however, bitter without any nasty burn and has a rich body not easily found in a canned container of coffee. The natural bite of the brew pities the joe's lack of honest sweetness and its dependence on lard-light moo juice, but with the experience being a short one, it is not as much of a problem as it could have been had the can been more obese.

120 milligrams of caffeine is all we get here, but it is a great quantity for such a shot-sized potation, one that hits almost as soon as you take your first sip. In the end, Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso & Cream Light is an easy drinking and potent little potable, but the cracks start to show the slower you sip.

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Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino Chilled Coffee Drink Review

Joining the ranks of Cinnamon Dulce and White Chocolate, this Starbucks drink, a member of the company's "frappuccino" line, is one interesting flavor; s'mores. Its tall glass bottle is white, with subtle strokes of brown and golden yellow, symbolizing the burnt marshmallow portion of the campfire favorite. The milky brown of the drink itself represents the graham cracker, which leaves the chocolate part of the treat unseen, unless one of the aforesaid colors works double time and also illustrates the cacao.

Shaken well and cap softly snapped off, the fragrance of this frappuccino has a faint burnt smell buried beneath all the coffee and cream perfume. Our first sip is super saccharine, surrendering any bean or milk flavor in favor of the albino jet-puffed pillow. It has an initially fun toasted vibe, giving the impression of the fire charred confection, but what starts out as a passionate sapor quickly grows into blind violence of burned vanilla. There is absolutely no chocolate here, and the only graham is found in the outrageous toasted taste. Coffee is put on the back burner as well, influencing any ounce of the thirteen plus it can while it fights a losing battle to keep this coffee drink tasting like coffee. Fattiness is wonderful, however, four and a half heavenly grams, three of which are saturated, from part-skimmed milk and cream, and remains much of the only aspect that ever reminds you of the brand's bean brew. The sweetness is thick, an almost grainy sugariness somehow achieved only from honest sugar and the mystery "natural and artificial flavors." It coarsely brushes your tongue as it makes its way down, your palate stained of the intense roasted taste and an awful aftertaste of table sugar.

Each bottle contains: coffee, sugar, cream, flavors, maltodextrin, pectin, skim and part skim milk. To end, Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino Coffee Drink is barely coffee and barely drinkable.

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Starbucks Doubleshot Spiced Vanilla Energy Coffee Review

2016 appears to the year for brand resurrection, now this time both the Starbucks line and its Doubleshot sub-line. Its can follows the basic brand template, and appears to be an update of the original "Vanilla" variety, reviewed here seven years ago. It is a clean design, telling consumers its coffee origins, flavor, and brand with a quick glance. However, the bright red belt at the top, and the circle towards the bottom, have little place on the can except to bring attention to its flavor and contained supplements.

Three grams of fat, half saturated, craft a shockingly creamy first sip, and the fattiness never lets go and who's only flaw could be how unrelentless it is. Its flavor is an even bigger success; sure, it tastes like your typical vanilla, but there is an ill-defined zest to it, redolent of cinnamon, nutmeg and clove, with some slight nuttiness nestled beneath it all. The coffee is the weakest link, lost inside the lardaceous mouthfeel and ambrosial spiciness. Its slight bitterness is the bean's best facet, synthesizing seductively with the spiced spice sapor. Usually these fat-sodden "coffee" drinks do not fare well here on the Caffeine King, however, this one takes a vivacious, rich, and tasty approach.

Each can contains: B vitamins, vitamin C, calcium, taurine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, and caffeine. There is also 200 calories and twenty nine grams of sugar. The kick lasts as long as any drink of comparable size, lasting two hours, maybe more. To end, Spiced Vanilla provides renascent interest in the previously platitudinous Starbucks line.

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Starbucks Discoveries Vanilla Latte Review

The second of the three flavors in this admittedly lazy and tardy line, Starbucks Discoveries Vanilla Latte is beige and boring, its art style behaving underwhelmingly apathetically with little pop or energy. Sure, it is never a problem to look at, but just what exactly are we looking at?

The body that poured into my glass is thinner than it should be, and the ugly perfume of burnt coffee comes easily with strong whiffs. Regrettably, your first sip is not unlike your eyes' and nose's first impression; your tongue has no fatty friend to play with (and probably beat in tag), a milky texture that even the most modest iced coffee circumvents with any addition of cream. The vanilla to this vanilla latte is disappointing, demonstrating its natural nuances sure, but never having the interest to take control of the experience. This would be fine however, if there were any coffee to taste. Instead, each gulp of this predominately pleasant potable shies far away from the brand's trademark. It is a shame if you think about it, but less so if you remember our low expectations.

Eighty five milligrams to an eight ounce serving, this coffee-esque concoction has some snap to it. Not much mind you, but more than its competition behind the chill chest doors.

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Starbucks Discoveries Caffe Mocha Review

A predicted entry into this "iced coffee craze" seen in store refrigerators all over now, the trilogy of Starbucks Discoveries at least comes in decently fancy cartons. It uses minimalism effectively but almost tries too hard, as if the packaging designers were not accustomed to the large retail space this fifty plus ounce canteen provides.

Powerful pheromones come rushing out of this interestingly shaped container; the kind of coffee that makes your eyes water instead of your mouth. The flavor? Well, it is a safe one, creamy and sweet and hardly ever tasting even remotely like the bean brew. Each sip has hardly any "mocha" in it either, an experience so disappointingly stock that you would swear that the box reads "International Delight." It is far from a bad beverage, but a coffee company should put a little more emphasis on its coffee.

Fortunately, Starbucks did us caffeine junkies a favor, putting about eighty five milligrams of the good stuff in every eight ounces. That is a decent upgrade from its competitors, and positions this Discoveries spin-off to potentially replace someone's morning mugful.

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Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso Review

Wow, 140 calories per six and a half ounce can?! That is a most unbalanced ratio, likely the highest I have ever seen. Anyway, this stout Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso actually comes in a surprisingly good can; clean and instantly recognizable, with a thick coat of luxury.

Now this is what I am talking 'bout! Your first sip punches you in the teeth, forcing in its bitter blend of coffee goodness. There is fabulous complexity to the espresso, billowing with roasted piquancy and leadened nuances of chocolate and vanilla, preforming beautifully in a creamy dance of faultless fattiness and splendiferous sweetness. The experience from every last drop from the small cans is something so longed for; the energy coffees usually reviewed do things so gawkily that you are probably gonna make this a "quadrupleshot."

There is a positive 130 milligrams of caffeine, fast acting but not exactly long lasting. On the whole, Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso is the best coffee drink had in many months, thanks to actually, you know, tasting like coffee.

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Starbucks Low Calorie Iced Coffee Review

The final variety now available in this disgusting and disappointing extension of the popular Starbucks franchise, comes to us in the same basic glass bottle with only baby blue trim its own. It is brown and boring, an originally pleasant design turned pictorially unentertaining after four exhausting and nearly identical varieties.

A tame shake and an easy pop of the cap, the perfume of burnt cow juice and stale coffee fills the nose. The flavor is no better, a slightly bitter roast aquatically diluted with only passing suggestions of cream, sipping dispassionately and maladroitly. Being diet, there are only three grams of sugar and an unknown and ineffective quantity of sucralose. Everything from your first sip to the last is a struggle, and no doubt if bought fresh would you throw this back at the 'barista,' tell them to work at Dunkin' Donuts, and look elsewhere for a decent brew. If you have your heart set on a low calorie coffee concoction, drink it black.

This should have the buzz of any eleven ounce coffee, but unfortunately yet not surprisingly, it is even weaker than some six ounce javas. To end, Starbucks Low Calorie Iced Coffee is perhaps the most nonsensical drink in this most nonsensical line.

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