Super Coffee is back after a very bad Maple Pumpkin variety a few years ago, but let us put blinders on to the world and hope that was just a fluke. The bottle is white and green but that does not make any sense- peppermint is red, hell they even have an image of the confection right there on the design.
Two-for-two, Super Coffee, you disappoint. Your first imbibe is an ugly crash of all things going wrong at the same time, from texture to taste to aftertaste. Immediately you notice something is amok when that initial mouthful fills your mouth, the body thin and missing the fatty mouthfeel you expect when you see two and a half grams of fat on the ingredients list, all of which is saturated I might add. I suspect it is the use of milk protein isolate over something like straight cream, but hey, I ain't no scientist. Once you get past its expired consistency, your tongue is appalled by the flavor itself, one where coffee hardly tries to resemble your favorite morning mugful. Both peppermint and mocha appear but are experienced like they are far-away, diluted in a bath of funky nothingness; you tell me there's peppermint, and damn it I want to taste it! I want my breath to stink like an elf's! But nothing is more unpleasant than when you finally swallow, the monk fruit and stevia leaving behind an ungainly stain of sugar free sugariness that only strengthens with every successive sip.
But that buzz right? 200 milligrams of caffeine provides a nice three hour long kick, and is the only area where I am impressed. Oh, I mean it is cool that this is gluten and lactose free, folks with those allergies need products for them, and I appreciate that, but they deserve better than Super Coffee Peppermint Mocha Latte.
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