Sunday, January 1, 2023

2022- Your Drink Sucks

Every year we list out not just the worst drinks, but the ones that scrape the bottom of the barrel, package the sludge up and slap the word "energy" on it. When will it end!?

*these are not necessarily products that were released in 2022, but rather those that were reviewed here in 2022.*


La Colombe Pumpkin Spice Draft Latte

I have nothing against PSL, but when you call your product that, you had better deliver. This drink has all the pumpkin spice flavor of a gym sock.






Monster Lewis Hamilton

It is a shame to see Monster, one of the top dog energy drink companies, so brazenly copy Red Bull's famous flavor. What is worse is how poor a job they did.






Super Coffee Peppermint Mocha Latte

A late addition to this list, in fact it was the last review of the year, and boy did we go out with a wimper.





Dr. Enuf Cherry Herbal

"Sucks" is the only way to describe this. Well, unless I want to add a few quarters to the swear jar.



Jocko Go Passion Fruit + Mango

Jocko Go is so surprisingly dead on arrival that it left me for a loss of words. And if anyone has ever read any of the comments readers leave, that is surprising.







Mtn Dew VooDew 2022

In truth, this is mostly drinkable, and it is limited-time, so why pick on it? Because it has an absurd amount of calories in a season your diet should be ruined by candy, not soda.






Zoa Fruit Punch

I do not take pleasure in harping on energy drinks; I would much prefer all of them rock. This one by The Rock, however, is not as solid as, well, a rock.




Rockstar Unplugged Passion Fruit

The use of hemp seed oil was a fascinating artifice, but when it makes your drink slimy, what the hell is the point? Just stop it, Rockstar, please.






Bang Miami Cola

Some energy drinks are bad, others disappoint. This one sucks, oh my god does it suck.

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