Twix Iced Coffee by Victor Allen's Review

Some buy RTD coffees for the quick pick-me-up, others drink it for the roaster's recognition. Others buy it for the license recognition, which is to say I have never heard anyone anywhere ever say they wanted a "Victor Allen's" coffee. The candy is simply slapped on, as if that is enough, though the more I think about it, I guess it is. I mean, I bought a bottle. Then again, it is almost Halloween, and Twix is one of my go-to confections to tear open on my dentist's favorite, or least favorite, day of the year.

The scent is of a cheap chocolate candle, waxy and artificial, and upon breaching the shrink-wrapped safety seal and taking that first sip, the taste about lines up with it. Twix is of course a candy bar consisting of three distinct districts, but this is your dollar store mocha coffee if I have ever tasted one. It is an incomplex rendition of a flavor that can be as nuanced as the manufacturer desires, and Victor Allen's here settles for the bare minimum, worse than the likes of compound chocolate by the confection's actual maker Mars. (Or is that Hershey's?) But I digress: as for the sticky sugar syrup known as caramel, the experience certainly is sweet, stupidly sweet I might add, but it lacks the hearty texture and slight burnt edges of its inspiration. That leaves the cookie crunch, which the company never stood a chance at replicating. A bit of malty goodness could have at least shown some sort of effort on their part, but that would have required care and attention to detail, something I only occasionally offer my reviews.

This is not an energy coffee but that does not excuse them for not disclosing how much caffeine is here. My morning stimulant need was satiated but only just, and honestly felt more like an extreme sugar rush than anything, thanks to forty total grams of the carbohydrate. In the end, Twix Iced Coffee by Victor Allen's does not give you the impression that you are eating the real thing, it just makes you wish you were.