As The Caffeine King was on the hunt this year's annual "The Summer Edition" from Red Bull, instead a new Monster appeared, the curiously named "Rio Punch." Oh, I am sorry, this is actually a Juice Monster. Whatever.
The can is fun to look at fortunately, the usual Monster visual language brought to life with bright colors. The back of it claims the flavor to be a "blend of exotic fruit flavors with a hint of spice," where as the website claims more specifically it to be "papaya, vanilla ice cream and black currant." Which is it!?
Upon first sip, I am surprised at how accurately the latter's mention of vanilla ice cream is. Mouthfuls have this smooth, nearly creamy texture, as if the thousands, if not millions, of little bubbles were wearing padding. It does not necessarily sip like dairy, but there is enough milky taste that it puts this Juice Monster in the upper echelon of unique energy drinks from a super-mega-canned-caffeine-cocktail-conglomerate. Sadly there is zero spice to be tasted, be it vanilla or any other, so while this does taste like vanilla ice cream, it is sadly generic vanilla ice cream. Or worse, gasp, vanilla frozen dairy dessert. As for papaya and black currant, the jury is still out, as the remainder of the experience is murky and ill-defined, citrusy without distinction. The thirty three grams of sugar, all of which is labeled "added," gives gulps a good bit of heft, but it is diluted by the inclusion of the diet sugar sucralose. I am usually a fan of these reduced calorie beverages, but the liquid passes past my tongue without leaving much of an impression.
With 160 milligrams of caffeine, the buzz is basic and unimpressive, lasting two hours. We also get B vitamins, ginseng, taurine, you know the drill. On the whole, Juice Monster Rio Punch fails to punch above its weight class.
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