Monster Ultra Blue Hawaiian Energy Drink Review

This bright blue can should stand out against the other Monster Ultras, until you spot the similarly colored "Ultra Fiesta" variety nearby, and mutter "is any difference" while you stand in otherwise silence, alone in your neighborhood big-box store.

This pale blue elixir tastes a lot better than it should, with a pineapple so aggressively happy and welcoming that you wonder why the whole production is not bright yellow. (Or gold, wink wink.) But the tropical produce does not work alone, bolstered by a mixture of citruses, chiefly lemon and orange, a hearty helping of green apple and a distant drop of guava. Though the combo is hardly original and falls squarely under the classification of "tropical fruit blend," I am a sucker for material like this. The sourness level is basic but beautiful, the kind that had my lips pining for more- I wanted them curled up so tightly I would need a crowbar to undo. My total tongue became engaged in the challenge of figuring out who was involved where, and for how long, but mistakes were made. Specifically the climax, where a bit of coconut pokes its head in; while it struggles to gain much of any strength against the acidity, it interrupts the momentum as this otherwise fine flavor goes in for the fabulous finish. And then there is the sweetener system, erythritol, ace-k and sucralose. They of course lack the heft of honest carbohydrates, and a toothsome texture, if not a gritty one, could have sent this over the moon. But alas, the unsatisfying mouthfeel is just that.

The 150 milligrams of caffeine we have here is functional enough, the buzz lasting two and a half hours. We also have taurine, vitamins, inositol, you know the drill. Overall, Monster Ultra Blue Hawaiian is almost ultra.

company site

Monster Ultra Vice Guava Energy Drink Review

I am not sure why Monster here thinks guava is "ultra" or a "vice," but the textured can appeared in my local grocery store in an unmarked pile near the exit; either I found it before it could properly be displayed, or no one cares.

A gentle pull of the tab at the top, a slight pour and out comes a sharp pink. It does not have much in way of an odor, and first sip is only slightly more exciting. The sweetness, achieved by the unusual order of our usual friendly neighborhood blend of erythritol, ace-k and sucralose, hardly tastes diet, with just the texture lacking the honest heft of actual carbohydrates. I applaud that, and only that here. Guava is present but is uncommitted to delivering the full experience, its tartness threadbare and unfulfilling. I wanted my teeth to be punched through my mouth with every imbibe, but Monster here seems almost scared to dedicate an entire sixteen ounces to a single piece of produce, let alone one with such a particular personality.

Each can contains 150 milligrams of caffeine, a decent quantity that results in a decent two hour long kick. B vitamins, taurine, inositol, you know, your average suspects, round out the nutrition facts on the back of the metal transport. Overall, the only vice here is pretending to be one.

company site

Monster Ultra Strawberry Dreams Energy Drink Review

At some point, Monster will run out of fruits to exploit with their "Ultra" sub-brand, but for now, we have to settle with second-tier energy drink flavors like today's offering of strawberry. That is not a slight to strawberries mind you, and to avoid getting myself into trouble, let us just say that there is a reason why potent potables seldom feature such a flavor.

It is also worth noting that the back of the can proudly proclaims the produce's purported part in Valentine's day, um, fun, yet I did not spot a can until recently. Monster, you can apologize by sending me some actual aphrodisiacs.

There are some things that simply do not translate well to a sixteen ounce experience; every sip is sorely lacking the subtly to fully exploit the bright flavor of the red flesh. It crashes the palate's but arrives without any fruit backup, so gulp after gulp you are left wondering if perhaps some pineapple or hell, some lemon, could have helped. But the biggest issue is the acidity, which has a a sort of dairy-twang to it, like a carbonated yogurt. Erythritol and sucralose sweeten but are unable to combat the tartness in any meaningful way; the use of honest carbohydrates could have worked wonders here, providing texture to help distance mouthfuls from its snafued sourness. This just is not that pleasant to consume.

We get 150 milligrams of caffeine, a fine amount but not enough to reward you for stomaching such an uninteresting taste. The buzz lasts two hours and, oh yeah, there is also some B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, and others. In the end, Monster Ultra Strawberry Dreams is more of a nightmare.

company site

Monster Ultra Fiesta Energy Drink Review

Monster cannot keep a good idea out of their corporate paws, and today we find their self-salvaging Ultra line taking on the ever popular mango; the back of the textured can promises "juicy mango flavor," although without any actual juice, this is a hollow promise. The bright blue of the aluminum outside is distinct from the frequently procreating brand, but what does it have to do with the orange fleshed stone fruit?

The flavor is far better than it has any right being, that is for certain. The mango has an acidic brightness that begins at the rear of your palate before completely engulfing the tongue, suffocating all grapefruit and lemon nuance that debase the first few moments of each imbibe; this is less a fiesta and more of a slaughter. The drupe does all it can without any actual nectar, and it is an impressive expression of simulated verisimilitude. Yet the experience cannot escape the principal pitfall of the line, which is its sweetness. Boilerplate sweeteners sucralose and ace-k are just fine on their own, but I am talking about erythritol. The sugar alcohol's trademark minty freshness is an ugly underbelly to the otherwise tyrannical tropical fruit. It is a shame that Monster refuses to recognize that their hipster sweetener system is in dire need of a refresh itself.

150 milligrams of caffeine, several B vitamins, taurine, l-carnitine, inositol, and ginseng. The buzz is a bit of a drag, lasting about two hours although without any sort of crash afterward. In the end, Monster's Ultra series takes equal steps forward and back with Fiesta.

official site

Monster Ultra Gold Energy Drink Review

With a handsome gold can, you would be forgiven to think that this latest Monster Ultra is ginger inspired. Unless you fancy yourself an energy drink junkie, in which you would be aware of the brand's earlier exploits of the rhizome with their Mule version. No today's drink is pineapple based, if the rear paragraph of the design is to be believed, but hey, what does it matter when the standard company logo shines so brightly thanks to its precious metal palate?

I am a pushover for pineapple, a fact that benefits an otherwise ordinary experience. The tropical fruit is distilled to its most basic form, where sweetness and sourness are obligatory and all other nuance is superfluous. Every sip is a ruthless prostitution in unadulterated summarization, one without any interest in nuance or fundamental depth, oh no, what we have here is practically pineapple juice boiled down and then shot with a burst of effervescence. The real winner here is the lack of functional flavor, you know, the nasty aftertaste caused from all the supplements company's shove inside the can. Erythritol, sucralose, and ace-k are act in charge of the sugaring, but this obvious absence of actual carbohydrate really distracts on the tongue. A few grams of sugar, anything, would really push this over the top and into the realm of some of the better beverages on the energy drink shelf.

150 milligrams of caffeine makes for a most average kick. You will likely get only two to two and a half hour buzz. Other ingredients include B vitamins, taurine, inositol, and l-carnitine. On the whole, Monster Ultra Gold is good, but not worth its weight in, well you know, gold.

official site

Monster Ultra Watermelon Energy Drink Review

Monster is clearly out of the loop- we are in the heart of autumn, and on store shelves sits their newest potable, the summer-inspired Ultra Watermelon. Adding to the confusion is the design's striking similarity their earlier Ultra Red variety, leaving me to physically lift up each can in the local convenience store to read the flavor indication nestled awkwardly on the bottom of the aluminum.

Another watermelon drink that tastes like melted candy, Monster has done zip to change the stereotype. Yet the texture is all wrong, a weak, hollow mouthfeel that demonstrates zero weight or nuance, thanks in large part to its diet demeanor. Erythritol, sucralose and ace-k are not up to the challenge the densely rinded fruit offers, masking the frail elegance of the produce in a heavy fog of counterfeit saccharinity. What we get is an experience that is all confection but no calories, and your palate is not buying it. The expectedly soft edge of sourness is replaced with an astringent tartness, an aspect as equally potent as the sugariness but never distracts from it, a duology of badness that does the summer favorite wrong. Sips slip right off of your tongue down to your tummy depths, where the chemical acidity burns down the walls of your gut until you reach for a handful of antacids.

Your reward is 150 milligrams of caffeine, an average amount from an average line that results in an average kick. Expect something along the lines of two hours, the slightest jitters present but not so much of a crash. Other ingredients include: B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, and inositol. On the whole, Monster should check their crisper drawer, because their watermelons are rotten.

official site

Monster Ultra Paradise Energy Drink Review

Monster Ultra returns with Paradise, with the can promising "pure, crisp, invigorating island flavors," whatever that means. The can is everything we have come to expect from the company by now, from the familiar design to the textured touch, of course aside from the bright green coloring.

The flavor is dismal, a very samey potable that is practically interchangeable with any variant in the line, retaining that recognizable aftertaste of grapefruit and the sweetener blend of sucralose and ace-k. On the front of every imbibe are muted mutations of pineapple, green apple, lime and practically nothing else; there is no true acidity that reminds my tongue of the sunny beaches the rear of the can pledges, no bright sugariness that helps refresh my parched palate. It sips without passion (or passion fruit), the effervescent elixir that washes apathetically across your mouth; never could I close my eyes and picture the white sands preached by the company's own description.

Energy is an important aspect of energy drinks, but this is where Ultra Paradise fails the hardest. With just 140 milligrams of caffeine, the buzz is a paltry two hours, a gentle, uplifting kick that is a far cry from the aggressive branding. Other ingredients include: B vitamins, taurine, and inositol. In the end, you can do worse than this, both outside and inside its own Monster family.

official site

Monster Ultra Violet Energy Drink Review

This bright purple can sports the same base design as the other "Ultra" varieties in the line, complete with its once-unique-now-overused textured aluminum. The silver doodles against the lavender background has a lot going on, but despite all its wild imagery, I was never inclined to pay it much attention. But it is the back paragraph of puffery that steals the show, mentioning everything 70's, from bell-bottoms to magic carpets. What that has to do with grape energy drinks is beyond me, but it is a worthy ride, if only for the corporate bizarreness.

If ice-pops were made without sugar, melted, and then carbonated, you would have Ultra Violet's taste. It is full-on grape candy flavor, avoiding the robustness of an actual red grape or the potency of grape soda, for better or worse. But the problem here lies in its saccharinity, achieved via erythritol, sucralose, and ace-k- they simply lack the sweetening chops for this flavor! The fruit blasts onto your tongue, anticipating a dramatic sugariness full of weight and nuance, but is left with the hollow heft of the synthetic sugars and sugar alcohol. Its a discrepancy that leaves the experience floundering in awkwardness and identity crisis.

Each can contains: caffeine (140 milligrams), taurine, and B vitamins. The energy to this energy drink is its weakest aspect, however, lasting two hours, though there is not any crash following. On the whole, Monster Ultra Violet is a misguided expansion of an already mangled line.

official site

Monster Ultra Citron Energy Drink Review

Another brightly colored "Ultra" variety from the Monster conglomerate, this time the name is Citron and the expectation is lemon. Its can is textured but it seems every flavor from the brand is, making the once unique hand-feel a boring expectation.

Redolence reminiscent of cleaning supplies rather than fresh fruit, with its relentless aroma of fake citrus. We take a sip, and I will be darned, it ain't half bad. The flavor is pure lemon, lighter than the pheromones that escape into the nose, with a slight tartness that builds in the back of your throat. Its impersonation of the produce falls on the more natural side of the scale, resistant without the potency of the perfume, for better or worse. Erythritol, sucralose, and ace-k rock together in place of real sugar, a decent blend that cannot give the lemonade-wannabe flavor its desiderated heft. Its texture could also use some work; a watery mouthfeel with a finite famine of any pulpy goodness. For a diet, big-name release, Monster Ultra Citron is actually pretty good; it just dismally lacks the something-something to make it great.

Each can contains: caffeine (one hundred and fifty two milligrams), B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, l-carnitine, guarana, and inositol. This stock blend has the ingredients for a terrific buzz, but lasts only two and a half hours. In the end, Monster Ultra Citron's taste is one of the more complete from the company, bringing an otherwise ordinary experience up a few pegs.

official site

Monster Ultra Sunrise Energy Drink Review

Bright without being playful, the can to this unknowingly divulgated Monster is silly and very far from attractive, alienating its own fans while alluring no new ones. Its flashy color and "sunrise" title allude that this is a take on orange juice, similar to the mediocre Mtn Dew Kickstart line, but without any of that brand's clarity.

Orange is the star here, well more of a has-been, a prosaic portrayal, and looking at the ingredients, quite literally lacking the zest of the fruit. Every exposure to this enfeebled experience leaves you wincing in pococurantism, a pint of pure insipidity who's paucity of both saccharinity and tartness is sorrowfully soporific on an early morning. But things do not end there: its nebbish effervescence disappoints as a soda yet distracts as a juice without satisfying either. Each gulp is undecided on how to interpret the word "orange," giving you two attempts tasted parallel, but who have too many discrepancies to create a concordant beverage. This alloys this awkward cross between verisimilitude and caricature while unavailing in either. It is zero calorie, so it has that going for it. And that is all it has going for it.

Each can contains: caffeine (151mg), taurine, insitol, B vitamins, ginseng, guarana, and l-carnitine. There is not much energy from this blend, lasting maybe two and a half hours, unfortunate for a sixteen ounce drink. Overall, Ultra Sunrise is a mess of half-baked ideas and unfulfilled potential. So it fits right in with the rest of the Monster line. It never sees the sunrise, instead rolling over and going back to sleep.

official site

Monster Ultra Red Energy Drink Review

Spotted unexpectedly on a dive convenience store shelf, Monster Ultra Red is the latest variety in the company's "Ultra" line, but you would never know it unless you just happened upon a can or their website. This crimson caffeinated cocktail completely slipped my radar, which means if an industry critic was unaware, so is the general public.

Reeking not unlike its blue brother, Ultra Red sips quite similarly too, the distinct chemical bite of the brand tangoing tolerably with a bland fruit punch blend. There is confused citrus highlighting caliginous cherry and cranberry flavors, all rather brisk and bright despite the potion's poor effervescence. Things are sweet but glaringly unsatisfyingly so; each sip showcases the synthetic sugar system's lack of artificial taste, or aftertaste, but your tongue just knows that its best friend sucrose is not at the party. But that is not to say this is an ignominious experience; it is probably one of Monster's best diet offerings, just one hell of a nebulous one.

Each can contains: caffeine (140 milligrams), B vitamins, taurine, panax ginseng, guarana, and inositol. The three hour mark is barely broke here, a undistinguished buzz as iconic to the brand as the brand is itself. On the whole, Ultra Red is the newest mediocre extension in this self-cannibalizing brand.

official site

Monster Ultra Blue Energy Drink Review

Sure, the textured matte can is indulgent on the paw, but we saw almost the same design, save for the baby blue, with Zero Ultra. Now we have an equivalently diet drink with an identically inexplicable name. With absent indication as to what this drink is, what can the user expect here? What does Ultra Blue have over the company's endless other low-calorie offerings?

The frosty can cracks open and sips super smoothly, exposing a flavor plagiarized from the business's Zero Ultra mediocrity. With the first carbonated splash comes a predominant but indistinct citrus taste with healthy notes of blue and blackberry, enjoyably tart with sufficient sweetness. Grapefruit is present but this takes it to the next level; there is a pinch more honesty to it here, with a considerably candid saccharinity and exaggerated personality. How Zero Ultra should have been, Ultra Blue drinks like the aforementioned after an energy drink; more energetic, more playful. I take it as the company's formal apology.

Each can contains: caffeine (140 milligrams), taurine, inositol, guarana, ginseng, L-carnitine, and B vitamins. There is no crash but not much of a kick either, lasting in the ballpark of three hours. On the whole, Monster Ultra Blue is as pointless as Zero Ultra, albeit better tasting.

official site

Monster Zero Ultra Energy Drink Review

Iconic like Coca-Cola, the Monster brand needs to try very little to look very good. The latest example is Zero Ultra, another sugar free drink, but one that promises to be different from Absolutely Zero and all their other diet offerings. Taking cues from the beer industry, its name is unique to energy drinks and births thoughts of premium and luxury, with the albino and textured can complementing the feel.

I cracked open the can and "unleashed the ultra beast," and the soft scent of Fresca and Squirt poured out and caught me off guard. The flavor only partially resembles the aforesaid sodas, sweet grapefruit and blueberry tasted in parallel. There is some rich tartness thanks to the latter, a tempered intricacy dissatisfied with its own mildness. Each sip showcases both some lemon and raspberry, the second broadening the other berry and the first forcing a slight citrus bite as the experience closes. But everything here is just so unconcerned, bordering on bland with hardly any enthusiasm. Ultimately, Monster Zero Ultra is better looking than it is tasting.

The energy blend is 1400 milligrams of: taurine, ginseng, carnitine, caffeine (135 mg), inositol, guarana and some others. There are also B vitamins. The kick lasts only three hours, if generous and not tired, and does not end with a crash. Overall, Monster Zero Ultra is a passable product that holds itself back, and even with an entirely new flavor, it takes few risks over the brand's other dozen of diet drinks.

official site