Ghostbusters Oxyshred & Slime Energy Drink Review

Considering the age of the Ghostbusters license, making a very much not for kids energy drink does not seem so wrong; I mean, fans of the property when it first came out have been of drinking age for years. And the shrink-wrapped can goes straight for the nostalgia; even if Slimer is not who I would associate with the word "caffeine," it fully exploits its commercial novelty.

Pouring out the most artificial green this side of a candy shop, so far, so good. Then I stuck my nose up to the freshly-cracked can, and a big whiff had me immediately rip the opening from my face. I am not sure if I expected Granny Smith apple or something, but the aggressive passion fruit from the likes of NOS wafting from this viridescent elixir was not on my expectations list. The flavor is not like any of the above though, an odd combination of vanilla, lime and blue raspberry, though your tongue struggles to truly get to know any of the trio thanks to an absolutely assertory acidity. It all makes for an experience, right down to a slightly powdery texture, that resembles the physical act of munching on the confection SweeTARTS, but only just. What a bizarre little energy drink this is.

The 180 milligrams of caffeine lends itself to a nice two and a half hour long buzz, though it would be unprofessional of me not to mention how each can also contains: l-carnitine, B vitamins, vitamin C, taurine, guarana, and several others. Those are all fine-and-dandy, but that taste, man, what a trip.

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JST WRK Icee Cherry Energy Drink Review

"JST WRK?" Yeah, I sure hope it does.

I have had a lot of energy drinks, more than I am comfortable talking to my doctor about, but the design here lacks absolutely any personality, unless huge, disemvoweled text is one. I do not think so, so we sit here at our desk chair, almost flabbergasted at the gall this energy drink has for reducing its Icee license down to the smallest size possible for a logo. Why bother even paying for one if you can barely see it!? Because this is an energy drink review site, don't cha know?

The sharp red liquid hit my tongue and it immediately curled back in sure disgust- this is not a pleasant potation. The primary problem with this potent potable is its approach to cherry: it takes more inspiration from the black cherry variety than something out of a candy shop, its tangy acidity all wrong budding aside an overwhelming synthetic sweetness of sucralose and ace-k, completely stomping out any semblance to verisimilitude that this twelve ounce product possible hope to produce. Mouthfuls are awkward and jarring, with elements all over the place that work disparately and not as a team. The carbonation is perky at least, probably the only thing that kept me consuming, but not at a rate that could make gulping on this unmitigated disaster worth another imbibe. Then I remember who I am, and I press on; we believe in full-service reviews, don't cha know?

There is a cool 200 milligrams of caffeine here, so the best thing here is its three hour long buzz. Oh sure, B vitamins, taurine, etc., also show up on the ingredient list of this shrink-wrapped can, but I am The Caffeine King, don't cha know?

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My Hero Academia Plus Ultra Energy Drink Review

I have no idea what "My Hero Academia" is, except what a quick Google search tells me. And despite being an energy drink, I most certainly not the target audience here. The visuals are pretty spiffy, bright and colorful, but what does it matter what I think?!

If there was ever a power potable who's primary flavor was high fructose corn syrup, this would be it. Thirty nine grams of the sweet stuff, that is almost eighty percent of your daily intake mind you, immediately clogs the back of your throat, simultaneously gummy and grainy. It is a pretty wild mouthfeel that offers zero benefit to the drinker except to remind them of the empty calories they are imbibing, but oh well. As for what this actually tastes like, even an experienced palate such as my own struggles to identify anything inside the saccharinity- I sipped and gulped to no avail. Then suddenly, with about a third left inside the shrink-wrapped can, an extremely mild case of blue raspberry begins to break out from all the sweetness. Not that it matters though, because the few remaining ounces finishes unceremoniously. What a fitting end.

100 milligrams of caffeine, some vitamins, taurine, ginseng, and guarana makes up the ingredient cocktail. It produces a most basic kick, lasting two hours if I am both tired and generous. In the end, My Hero Academia Plus Ultra is an energy drink, and that is absolutely all you can say about it.

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Ryse Fuel Sunny D Energy Drink Review

Not Rise, like the coffee, or Rise, like the Mtn Dew (who ended up being sued by the former), here we have "Ryse Fuel," with an "y." See, it is completely different. And to make matters even worse, today's variety features the Sunny D license, which is of course a soft drink marketed to kids on a drink totally inappropriate for said kids. That is not to say adults cannot drink Sunny D, but who its target audience? The package is otherwise busy, with text of all different sizes and fonts flying in all sorts of different directions. 

As someone who was once a kid (and probably a kid still at heart), I have had Sunny D before: its distinct "not entirely juice but still not soda" flavor is so ingrained my person that when something like Ryse Fuel comes along and mucks up the classic profile, I notice. The first sin is being carbonated, so sips smack your palate with an incongruous texture, a sharp, almost spiky mouthfeel that would be more inline with an orange soda than its source material. The real stuff also contains some actual fruit nectar, something not present here, and it shows. Orange is the dominate flavor (duh), a potent impersonation of the same-colored produce, and it makes up a bulk of every sip. The front of the shrink-wrapped can shows images of what my eyes detect as lime, lemon and grapefruit, but only the lemon really shines through, chiefly in its sourness. This acidity is exactly what the experience needs to cut through the aggressive sweetness, as we have that old blend of sucralose and ace-k on the job, and they default to "more is more." This is a very saccharine product, but there is just enough of the license's spunk to keep this from being a total dud.

I appreciated the 200 milligrams of caffeine, with its resulting three hour long buzz, but I repeat: this is NOT for children! Yeah we also have taurine, vitamins, yada yada, but my point still stands. Is Ryse Fuel Sunny D bad? Not really, but its warmed-over name and oxymoron flavor are the only things memorable.

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G Fuel Tetris Blast Energy Drink Review

Why is Tetris the basis for an energy drink? What flavor could "Tetris Blast" be? These are unknowns until one buys and drinks a can, and a shrink wrapped one at that. But it is ok; it visually encapsulates the video game with bright colors and, perhaps more importantly, those ever-famous block shapes.

Cotton candy, perhaps the only favor that makes sense here, was an initial surprise upon first sip. It is mostly a generic tutti fruitti facsimile, but blend of sucralose and ace-k bring only the benefits of diet sugars and leave the artificial aftertaste obligation behind. But the biggest shock comes at the climax of an imbibe, a pleasant "Sweet Tart" candy taste. And although this adds sugariness to an already saccharine experience, it introduces a critical element, a powdery tartness. This right here makes the drink a joy to consume, as gulp after gulp tickled the back of my throat with effervescent feathers.

Potency remains the most impressive element to the brand, with 300 milligrams of caffeine provide a solid three and a half hour long kick. Other ingredients include b vitamins, vitamin c, amino acids, and extracts. In the end, Tetris Blast is the best G Fuel to date, which simultaneously says a lot and not much.

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