Alani Nu Kimade Energy Drink Review

The latest member of the Alani Nu brand features bubble letters so hard to decipher that it makes you wonder if it is even worth the effort. Even if I could look past the difficult-to-read text, what even am I looking at? Everything is the same few shades of purple, and I dunno who this "Kim K" is, but why are do they have their own energy drink but not the great Caffeine King?!

"Kimeade" must be an unplayful play on limeade, but fortunately the elixir inside these ugly aluminum walls pretty much lives up to that classification. Sips are more acidic than they are lime, the citrus hardly putting in the effort to deserve such a seductively persuasive sourness. Sucralose and ace-k sweeten but even all the might of two of arguably most famous synthetic sugars cannot withstand the strength of the tartness on display here. But even when clocking in at only twelve ounces, sips lose their luster when all they have to say is the same thing; perhaps the use of honest carbohydrates could have helped push this one over the threshold of "OK" into "great?" It is a good question, but why bother wasting your life away thinking about the "what ifs?"

200 milligrams of caffeine is the real reason to consume this, causing a kick lasting an easy three hours. Other ingredients include vitamins, taurine, ginseng and others.

By the time I got this far into this review, one quick interwebs-search disclosed who the mysterious "Kim K" is. And in all honesty, this probably tastes better than they do.

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