It is beginning to look like Halloween, at least according to PepsiCo, as we have their yearly Mtn Dew "VooDew" variant. This one happens to be the sugar free version, but do not worry, caffeine fiends, the cavity-causing variety should be reviewed shortly. The can is everything you want from the brand today, with a large logo, busy visuals and the hollow promise that maybe, just maybe, it will taste like candy corn. Oh wait that is only me?
Your first sip is sweet, oh golly is it so, a synthetic sugar salvo that assaults your palate into total compliance. What the flavor actually is is a muddled mess of melon, robbed of complexity and possibly acidity in favor of strict saccharinity, so simple in execution that you wonder how many satchels of Splenda, Equal and Sunett are poured into this small twelve ounces. What, you have never seen a packet of Sunett? Well, neither have I. The more one sips the more notes of vanilla and peach overwhelm the taste buds, all soaked in the unnecessary pseudo sugariness. So far at about half of the can is depleted of its contents, and my tongue is so seized into the sham sweetener submission, and suddenly I get the urge to bite into something natural, like an apple fresh off of the tree, or hell, even a sprig of broccoli, something- anything to help undo what the cascade of counterfeit carbohydrates have done.
Being a soda, the sixty eight milligrams of caffeine we get to work with is nothing but a benefit, though it hardly justifies the dreadful flavor. Overall, Mtn Dew Zero Sugar VooDew 2023 is worse than getting an expired piece of candy in your bag on Halloween night.
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