Bang Sour Ropes Energy Drink Review

For a sugar free energy drink, Bang is taking a huge swing in basing their latest off of a candy. Rope candy to be specific, though you would never tell from the packaging, which is sterile and boring. Where is the fun in a nearly all white can, colored only by a burst of blue here, and red there? I continue to really like the logo, an undercase "b" with a crosshair, but it is too little personality, too late.

The crystal clear concoction here is not as sour as my tongue had hoped, but the acidity is aggressive enough to mostly mask the single sweetener sucralose, which in turn is working overtime to cloak all the supplements crammed into this sixteen ounce can. The experience is indistinctly fruity, a base of blue raspberry and vanilla with bit of a faded pineapple nuance; overall it is not terribly complex but it has enough personality that distracts you from noticing all the chemicals while you are sipping. The carbonation is zesty and helps keep the momentum going, but all that stops by the time the can rang half-empty. By that point, my palate was on autopilot, not necessarily against the liquid inside the thin aluminum walls, but not exactly pining to keep drinking. Good thing we believe in full-service reviews around here.

Now this is what I am talking about: 300 milligrams of caffeine, all for my body. The buzz is the highlight and about the only reason to stick with this for the entire duration. Oh sure, amino acids, B vitamins, and others are here too, I must attribute the three hour long buzz to my namesake chemical over all else. What can I say?

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Black Rifle Ranger Berry Zero Sugar Energy Drink Review

Black Rifle Coffee Company comes to The Caffeine King, not as a coffee but rather an energy drink. Whether I am excited depends on if I read about all the controversies the company has had. I did not have a politically-charged potent potable on my "2025 bingo card," but here we are.

Anyway, the can is alright here, cleaner than it probably has any right being, but the dual "C's" in the logo only make sense for the brand's coffee varieties. Unless this is some berry flavored coffee, in which case I am going to seriously regret what I am about to taste.

Despite its blue and black can, this pours out crystal clear and reeks of artificial sweetness. First mouthful is not much better I am afraid, sipping like a sluggish seltzer with about as much actual flavor. The carbonation is caustic, as if all those little bubbles were wearing spikes, abusing your poor palate as you send this disappointing drink down the hatch. There is minimal actual flavor, berry being a misnomer for the faded flavors of blue and raspberry, fruits so distant and so disinteresting that you find yourself checking the "best before" date by your second or third gulp. The one in my hand, somehow, has not yet expired. There is hardly any acidity and the sweetness (all from sucralose), something I feared would become the whole experience, is as muted as the sourness. No, the entire sixteen ounces' primary characteristic belong to the antagonistic effervescence. What a, er, choice?

The buzz is good though, thanks to the 200 milligrams of caffeine, lasting a solid three hours. Oh sure, you get some B vitamins too, but no other supplement; guess amino acids and herbal extracts are not "tough enough" for people who purposefully imbibe something with a gun in its name.

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Monster Ultra Blue Hawaiian Energy Drink Review

This bright blue can should stand out against the other Monster Ultras, until you spot the similarly colored "Ultra Fiesta" variety nearby, and mutter "is any difference" while you stand in otherwise silence, alone in your neighborhood big-box store.

This pale blue elixir tastes a lot better than it should, with a pineapple so aggressively happy and welcoming that you wonder why the whole production is not bright yellow. (Or gold, wink wink.) But the tropical produce does not work alone, bolstered by a mixture of citruses, chiefly lemon and orange, a hearty helping of green apple and a distant drop of guava. Though the combo is hardly original and falls squarely under the classification of "tropical fruit blend," I am a sucker for material like this. The sourness level is basic but beautiful, the kind that had my lips pining for more- I wanted them curled up so tightly I would need a crowbar to undo. My total tongue became engaged in the challenge of figuring out who was involved where, and for how long, but mistakes were made. Specifically the climax, where a bit of coconut pokes its head in; while it struggles to gain much of any strength against the acidity, it interrupts the momentum as this otherwise fine flavor goes in for the fabulous finish. And then there is the sweetener system, erythritol, ace-k and sucralose. They of course lack the heft of honest carbohydrates, and a toothsome texture, if not a gritty one, could have sent this over the moon. But alas, the unsatisfying mouthfeel is just that.

The 150 milligrams of caffeine we have here is functional enough, the buzz lasting two and a half hours. We also have taurine, vitamins, inositol, you know the drill. Overall, Monster Ultra Blue Hawaiian is almost ultra.

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Rip It Yolo Pineapple Energy Drink Review

Let us get this out of the way, right away: I am a pushover for pineapple energy drinks. I really, really love them. So Rip It has some subliminal prejudice working in its favor, and I am sorry for the perceived unfair bias, but that is the way the energy drink can cracks open.

As for the can here, it is pretty much what you expect from the brand; the design has remained unchanged for so long that if it were not for these new varieties, I would have assumed National Beverage Corp., the maker behind Rip It, had totally forgotten about their little potent potable once that La Croix popularity got to their heads.

Pineapple is so front and center here that it scratched me right where I itched. The fruit works solo the moment it hits your palate all the way down to your stomach, with this beautiful acidity that is not only respectful to the large spiky produce but, and perhaps more critically, it is so puckering that even if this were entirely sugar free, you would be hard-pressed to tell. Fortunately, Rip It went with a reduced calorie approach, with sixteen grams of high fructose corn syrup bulked up by sugar-free sweetener sucralose, which helps give body while also preventing mouthfuls from gunking up completely. This is an admittedly simple experience, one-note even, but while imbibing, I did not care. Nope, not even a little bit.

Like the preceding Melon' Hi G.O.A.T Watermelon, there is no mention of the caffeine content. What gives?! The buzz is OK I guess, lasting about two hours, but again, if you are going to list out how much vitamin C your product has got, then please, please do the same for my namesake chemical! In the end, Rip It Yolo Pineapple may only live once, but it deserves to live twice.

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Guru Yerba Mate Organic Energy Drink Review

GURU returns to The Caffeine King, an organic variety this time with a deep blue background: it is an appealing looking energy drink. Since we last saw the brand here waaaay back in 2016, not much has changed, outside of a taller can, things have hardly changed. Not that that is a bad thing, but the visuals remain busy to the point of distraction.

Yerba mate is one of those things that just does not smell too good. I have had decent tasting potables with the plant, but this is not something you would splash on behind your ears ahead of the office holiday party. The flavor is strange, the herbal funk loud and proud for a most alienating experience. Cane sugar, monk fruit juice and stevia are the sweeteners and despite that description, this is not a saccharine product. You sip and almost wince at the unorthodox liquid you just splashed onto your tongue, but not every energy drink needs to be caffeinated candy. What rescues the potable from a sad life of misbegotten drinks is citrus, thanks to actual lemon juice; it introduces a sourness just strong enough to keep things from sitting bitter on your palate. This is tough to review because it is tough to drink, but it is not tough to appreciate.

We have 142 milligrams of caffeine, which is just enough to craft a noticeable buzz. It does not last as long a second longer than two hours, but I have reviewed plenty of weak crap here, and this is not crap. Overall, GURU Yerba Mate Organic is not for everybody, but it is refreshingly different. Not always for the better, but refreshing.

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Code Mix with Guarana Energy Drink Review

Code Mix with Guarana comes to us thanks to Big Lots, and its unremarkable design and name are only fitting; for over a decade, the discount retailer was the place to find energy drinks for review, but with stores closing, it seems that this red and green can is the end of that chapter in The Caffeine King's life. What an awful, yet appropriate, way to go out. I will miss scouring your messy aisles for some misbegotten energy drink.

Pouring out from this sixteen ounce can is a golden elixir, one that reeks of chemicals; ah, just like the good old days. The flavor, however, is a bit more interesting than its "Red Bull scent' would lead you to be believe, though do not for a moment think this domesticated blend of vanilla, granny smith apple and bubble gum is anything but one. Crashing down on your unprepared palate is an acidic harshness, like a sour candy and cleaning product rolled into one. It immediately taints your tongue with the tartness, but fifty six grams of sugar is an amount too grandiose for even this pungent potable. With the swiftness your taste buds are slammed with this sticky saccharinity, the kind that keeps dentists up at night with nightmares of filling entire mouths with cavities. If you can somehow get past all the textural cacophony, you are met with a brief bitter climax, no doubt from what the ingredient list claims to be the flavor of guarana. Is it, er, nice? I am not sure; it is the only thing here that colors outside the lines.

The 230 empty calories are justified with just ninety five milligrams of caffeine, along with some extracts like ginseng and, of course, guarana. The sub-two hour long buzz really could have used, like, twice the amount of my namesake chemical, but alas, perhaps that was the reason this energy cocktail lived on the shelves of my local liquidation sale Big Lots.

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Red Bull The Pink Edition Energy Drink Review

Look at Red Bull, getting into the Valentine's Day spirit! But now should consumers expect a spring, summer, winter AND, er, romance variety? Or is this a one-off like the company's "Blue Edition?" Eh, it probably does not matter. The can is standard fare, looking like any other Red Bull, only bright pink in color. How erotic.

There is little in the way of smell radiating from the twelve ounce metal transport, and the taste is equally lethargic. "Wild Berry" is the alleged flavor and my tongue searches for but to no avail; someone had the "W" in "wild" turned upside down here. A severely saccharine strawberry starts things off but is immediately replaced by a tangy blend of raspberry and blueberry, though the experience is hardly about what this tastes like. No, this potent potable is about texture; how it feels as the bright hued elixir washes across your palate, rotting your teeth as it soon finds a permanent place on your hips. The best thing here is the acidity, which tickles my tongue and curls my lips, able to stand up against the thirty eight grams of sugar and glucose. Mouthfuls thusly become an exercise in "sweet and sour," where both argue for dominance and, ultimately, tartness reigns supreme. Thank the heart-shaped-chocolate heavens.

Oh how I wish the buzz was a bit stronger; this does not exactly look or taste the best, so we have to blindly hope for a killer kick. Oh well, the 114 milligrams of caffeine is enough to satisfy my morning cravings, but that is about all it satiates.

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