Realtree Outdoors Hydration Pink Lemonade Energy Drink Review

This dull pink can is one of the better in the line since the redesign that shucked the unique twist-off top for a conventional pull-tab. But one cannot help but wonder if this is simply a repackaging of their previous Pink Lemonade, though with all the misfires of that drink I surely hope they modified the flavor. But instead of reading "not for city girls," this new design reads "I love country girls;" finally, something I can agree with on one of these imbecilic outdoor beverages.

There is slightly less sugar than the previous variety, though just two grams, but being all high fructose corn syrup the reduction is welcome (sucralose is on backup). The saccharinity is strong but never overwhelming, and although its syrupy mouthfeel leaves much to be desired, its slight thickening in the back of the palate give the illusion the pulpy textural nuance of home-squeezed citrus summertime favorite. Its tartness is another element to praise, a sharper acidity than most canned lemonades, a sourness almost overwhelmingly puckering. Whether or not it is any better than the brand's previous attempt is irrelevant; it still tastes good.

Each can contains: taurine, caffeine, and B vitamins. The kick is woeful, lasting two hours, though if there was a bright side, it would be the lack of a crash. In the end, Realtree Outdoors Hydration Pink Lemonade did not leave me hydrated, pining for the outdoors or on the hunt for real trees, but it did taste like pink lemonade, and for that I commend them.

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Sinister Original Energy Drink Review

This crackling can leaves quite a bit of dead space for such a "sinister" drink. Too much room is dedicated to the banal bright blue up top, and both fonts suffer from opposite misfortunes. The actual name of the drink is infamously problematic to read (there was a long time where the first 'i' read 't'), and the rest of the text lacks any creativity and is wildly generic.

Is this a Red Bull clone? Not quite, but it certainly is not very good. 260 calories breaks your wasteline in a drink ever too sweet, tasting of blue raspberries and cotton candy. The fruit has vague blueberry nuance in a feeble attempt at depth, but nothing in any sip ever resembles nature; hell, even real cotton candy is not this saccharine! But the velvety carbonation stimulates large gulps against all reason; I sat here repulsed at the sugar vulgarity only to finish the can expeditiously, lusting another. Guilty pleasure? This certainly fits the bill.

Each can contains: taurine, ginseng, B vitamins and 159 milligrams of caffeine. The kick lasted around two hours, littered with jitters and one heck of an old school crash.

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Big Jak Yellow Energy Drink Review

This greenish yellow is not as prepossessing as was the Orange variety's orange. The "Yellow" banner above the logo is very difficult to read, and although there is nothing particularly creative about it, the design feels professional and premium regardless. On the can's back one does wonder why the caffeine content (164mg) is listed separate from the supplement facts, shyly stated below and almost as if the drink is shameful about the rather mediocre amount.

Big Jak Yellow was opened without very high expectations, and the unbosomed flavor is superficially nothing special. Tasting almost blandly of lemon, it is gratuitously sugary without any expression of depth. If anything some melon taste comes into sight, but the focus remains exclusive to its tart and summarized citrus. I was ready to call the flavor an 'uninterestingly cautious abridgment a fruit's honest complexity,' but the gulps were refreshing and they were big. This is a guilty pleasure if I have ever tasted one, a forgivably inept experience hitting all the right spots at all the right moments.

In addition to the aforementioned caffeine, each can contains: some taurine, ginseng, inositol, and B vitamins. The extracted energy lasted a jittery three hours with the absence of a crash. On the whole, Big Jak Yellow may not be worth full price, but it is worth the spare pocket change.

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Crystal Light Grape Energy Drink Mix Review

From Crystal Light, this grape flavoured drink mix gets its point across, telling consumers about its dirty habit of containing caffeine and the likes, but the sachet that holds the powder is a bit too verbose. There is no reason to say "energy releasing B vitamins," or really even mention the actual flavour, considering there is not only a picture of the fruit, but the top and bottom tip are purple.

The pretty colour of the box did not translate to the drink itself, being much more of dull bluish purple. The flavour, however, is shockingly stark, kicking one's teeth with a potent sweetness and strong tartness. The two give the dumbly simple grape taste a great candied quality, even with purely artificial sugars and usual subsequent aftertaste, the fruit feels right at home within both the amateur complexity and counterfeit saccharinity. The latter bites the back of one's throat, pinching it with an equally asinine cloyingness that surprisingly does not make the experience an unenjoyable one, and actually, Crystal Light Grape is a bit of a guilty pleasure.

There is 120 milligrams of caffeine and some B vitamins, a truly unexciting blend that was probably deliberate, with the consumer base probably not accustomed to larger amounts, at least in their eyes. The kick was two and a half hours long, being rather generous. All in all, Crystal Light Grape Energy Drink Mix feels more like an introductory course to energy drinks rather than actually being one.

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MiO Energy Black Cherry Review

I may be a virgin to this MiO "water enhancer" stuff, but I'm not of the naive, wait-til-you-get-married type; I've done my research on the topic, and I've seen it in action before. People have even tried to talk me into it, but flavoured and carbonated water, aka soda, is enough of an "enhancement" for me. But in all seriousness, this black cherry's black bottle is quite nice on the eyes, and though text does needlessly bulk the lower portion, it's a problem with the line as a whole and not exclusive to this particular variety.

The sixteen plus ounce bottle utilized received an initial giving of a bit more than two squirts, clouding the once crystal beverage a pleasant purple. But this dyad of injections is a disappointingly bland experience, with the namesake black cherry making a much diluted appearance. The liquid gets ever so darker with an introduction of another splash, which only insignificantly intensifies the still boring flavour. Another few spritzes were in order for me to pleasure each of the many remaining sips, and now we're exposed to the product's mildly thick viscosity and enjoyably high sweetness. It indirectly describes only the faintest of tartness, and everything considered you couldn't define the fruit as tasting even the slightest bit natural. It's purely an artificial affair, an eventually satisfying one, and is super sugary and marginally astringent shot directly on the tongue.

My four or so spurts of the caffeinated concentrate contained somewhere more than 240 milligrams of the stimulant, each serving serving sixty, with my uncertainty stemming from the fact that some drizzles inevitably lasted just a few moments longer than others. There's also ginseng, guarana, taurine, and marginal amounts of a few B vitamins, and the kick, though wildly modifiable, lasted well into the five hour mark. In the end, MiO Energy Black Cherry is a surprising mainstream effort that's equal parts imagination and success.

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Extreme Impulse Energy Drink Review

The alleged extremeness of Extreme Impulse only seems to be explained by the rather uninformative "triple the energy" sentence. The only explicit ingredient amounts detailed are the vitamins it contains, not the caffeine or even the herbal supplement content, and the same quantity seems to of been used for the regular Impulse, which means the vague aforementioned statement is as confusing as it is tenebrous. But if concerning the actual can, it doesn't make all too shabby of a first impression, though it is somewhat cluttered.

Extreme Impulse's taste is somewhat, if not somehow, refreshing, and it advertises a pulverulent lime that is far more tart than sour, though both do appear and the two effect the incontinent puckering that occurs slightly. The arenaceous citrus is crafted into the sort of middle grounds between authenticity and artificiality, and though it doesn't candidly adopt any characteristics, it certainly feel at least influenced by them. There's a sort of honeydew melon flavour that doesn't exactly interact with the lime, but their tastes do complement the other even if they feel obviously separate. White grape can be tasted but purely for the reason of extending the depth of the overarching lime. It does, though, permeate a sort of indirect acidity that sort of personalizes an otherwise familiar experience. Every sip is much too syrupy but I found myself actually enjoying the cloying sweetness. It gives further individuality, but sadly not enough to make the final sip feel like it will be the last until you crack open another can.

Extreme isn't what it used to be, as while there is definitely some kick to it, the buzz lasted just under four hours. Again, there's certainly some energy to be received, but it doesn't exactly live up to the promises. Each can contains: caffeine, taurine, various B vitamins, inositol, and vitamin C. In the end, Extreme Impulse is a mixed bag that oddly ends up hitting all my right spots, and even though the negatives are lucid, my eyes and taste buds didn't seem to care.

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Team Realtree Blaze Orange Energy Drink Review

The can to Team Realtree Blaze Orange is actually quite appealing, well, as appealing as the design permits. The bright colour does its job at stealing attention, and the grayscale logo feels both foreign and entirely appropriate. But the originally cute niche nature of whole camouflage theme is now wearing thin and becoming pointless, because if there was a market for it, there would already be competition. However, at least your drink won't be shot while hunting.

Team Realtree Blaze Orange's taste is pleasurably comparable to the best in the orange soda market. The obvious fruit taste deeply flavours a smooth and non syrupy liquid, and the sweetness is high but never overwhelming. The aforementioned citrus taste is molded around a far more authentic tangerine flavour, and the latter's natural edge is a playful complement to the orange's candied character. The smaller of the two fruits tints the core of the experience, and it slowly trickles skyward and influences the outside orange, and this sort of marbleization gives good depth to a relatively simple affair. Both sour and tartness are evident during the flavour portrayal, and although the former is more trenchant, both are very cogent to the overall completeness. All in all, by not attempting to do much but prosaically please, Team Realtree Blaze Orange's flavour is stupidly enjoyable.

Blaze Orange doesn't provide an exceptional boost in energy. There were jitters, though not as many as expected from the sixty eight grams of sugar, and the kick lasted around two and a half plus hours. Each can contains: caffeine, multiple B vitamins, and taurine. In the end, if one objectively looks at Team Realtree Blaze Orange, then it should by no means get a recommendation, but by being oddly satisfying, it's getting one regardless.

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Howling Monkey Elixir Energy Drink Review

Howling Monkey Elixir easily has the most bizarre can I've seen since push it sugar free. There's a crazy circus theme to the design, and there's a screaming monkey surrounded by scrambled text. But honesty, there is just too much writing that it makes it hard to follow and difficult to identify. Lines like "Multi-Vitamins" is anything but necessary, and if it has to be on the can, it should only appear to the side. While I really do like the whole carnival feel to it, I can't say I like the can until they tone down all the text.

Howling Monkey Elixir's flavour has a couple aspects of a Red Bull clone to it, but not enough for it to be labeled one. It's initially a faintly sweet blend of sourness and tartness that's undermining a quiet blue raspberry. The blue raspberry taste's candy like by being artificial in nature. Following is a slightly cloying maraschino cherry that ends with a heavily chemical taste. Thankfully, there's a reappearance of sour and tartness that begins to arise, which helps dull most of the unpleasantness from the cherry and chemical taste. There's a bit of a butterscotch nuances roaming the latter part of the experience, but never does it become overwhelming or anything more than a nuances. Howling Monkey Elixir ends with a syrupy coat across your mouth, which is probably due to the use of HFSC. Overall, Elixir tastes strange, is far too sweet, and is a bit uneven, but for some reason I enjoyed each sip.

Howling Monkey promises to be extraordinarily potent, and while that's a bit of an overstatement, there's definitely some power behind Elixir. For nearly four hours I had jitters and my energy level increased. It did end in a crash, unsurprisingly though, and each can contains: caffeine, taurine, inositol, ginseng, guarana, D-ribose, several B vitamins, and vitamin E. In the end, Howling Monkey Elixir has little that should impress me, but whether it was for the cluttered yet crazy can, the somehow enjoyable taste, or the rather potent kick, it's the cold definition of a "guilty pleasure."

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Hooters Energy Drink

Big Lots is widely known for distributing rare and bizarre energy drinks, but I don't think any of them is as bizarre as Hooters Energy Drink. Hooters Energy Drink is made by the Pennington Beverage Company, which I can't seem to find any information on. They don't even have a web site, so I don't know if there is any other varieties, other than a sugar free version. Judging by the can, I can't say that I'm excited at all to try Hooters Energy. My guess is that its gonna be a Red Bull clone laced with a weak kick, because if Pennington Beverage were to put any real time and money on an energy drink, using a Hooters license doesn't seem like a smart choice opposed to creating a whole new brand.

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can of Hooters Energy is every bit as tacky as the Hooters restaurant itself, right down to the slogan which is "Delightfully Unrefined Energy." On the good side, I like the owl, as I think she's cute, and the can has a good amount of fan service. But that's about all the good that I can say about the can. The design is basic and boring, and the Hooters girl is well, ugly, hell, if the owl was wearing the tank top and short shorts it would be hotter. Either way, the can's unappealing and relies too much on fan service. 

TASTE: I opened the can and was hit by a bright orange colour. It starts out a sweet orange soda like flavour, not natural like awake good morning. There's a mild Sweet Tart flavour towards the end, similar, Ole', but not as strong. The carbonation is kept to a medium, which I think works well with the flavour. Its very tangy and not bitter, tart, or vitamin-y. There's as light orange aftertaste which while not the best, is not nothing offensive. Overall, I'm impressed with the flavour Hooters Energy.

KICK: Each can contains: 220 calories, fifty four grams of sugar, 1900 mg of taurine, 220 mg caffeine, guarana, ginseng, inositol, taurine, B Vitamins, and Calcium. Though this blend isn't too far off the average tired and true energy blend, I got a pretty wicked buzz. For four hours I felt full of energy, and my mental alertness was up. But the bigger they come, the harder they fall, and Hooters Energy Drink is no exception. After the four hours I was hit with a horrible crash, but this is nothing an another energy drink couldn't solve.

FINAL WORD: Overall, Hooters Energy is an above average energy drink. Though the can will go down in infamy for beginning one of the worst energy drink cans ever to be held by my hands, the great taste and kick make up for my tarnished hands. Hooters Energy really surprised me with its pleasing taste, its great kick, and the fact that it wasn't a Red Bull clone. More companies should do what Pennington Beverage did by creating an unique energy drink, instead of rehashing an old tired and true flavour and weak kick. A good to great licensed energy drink is rare now a days, as most companies use there license to make a quick buck and don't put any heart or soul into the product. But every once in a while, a company will spend time and money on there license, and it usually pays off. All in all, if your a woman rights activist looking for a great energy drinks, avoid, but if your an average Joe, and caffeine nut, a perv, or just think the owls cute, give Hooters Energy Drink a try, even if its full price...4/5