Friday, December 30, 2011

Monster Rehab Protean Energy Drink Review

Clever name aside, the company is inching towards total enervation of their arctic, once proud, and unique, can template that began with the first Rehab. You even could argue that it actually began with Absolutely Zero, sure, but my eyes have become bored regardless. I can't say, though, that the design is bad, far from it in fact, but how many times must consumers see the same thing before it's too much or too late?

The "protein" in "Protean" is surely the culprit of the beverage's sour milk scent, and also must help in the flavour's inappropriate creaminess. Each exposure tastes barely of berry, I'd reckon a darker variety but exact specifications are undisclosed and the absence of carbonation mucks up the relaxed nature that one expects with one without effervescence. The repulsive richness is most distinguished following the unconvincing flavour, but you do thankfully become sorta used to the unfit unctuousness. Sips never grow into gulps, however, and the large fifteen and a half ounce size can is always a chore. But the experience's biggest kick in the groin is actually the second rate saccharinity, as even without the callous creaminess, things would still be shamefully unsweetened. More sugar, artificial or real, is needed before Monster Rehab Protean is anything but a disgusting disappointment.

If you're able to actually finish an entire can then you should get a prize, not another average kick. Sure, the formulaic formulation provides a solid three hour buzz, but it isn't something we haven't had dozens of times before. Each can contains: 170 milligrams of caffeine, some protein, some B vitamins, and taurine. All in all, Monster Rehab Protean's blind ambitions get a few hundred calories worth of brownie points for being unique, not for being good. Oh heavens is it not good.

official site


NinjaBranDizzle said...

At first I didn't like this drink but after finishing the first can I fell in love. The reason being is I am always at the gym and this a a great way to add more protein to your diet.

Protein is 4 calories per gram meaning in this entire can (100 calories) 64 of those calories are from protein. The second ingredient on the can is whey protein hydrolysate next water.

Perfect in my opinion if you are taking it to the gym or want to feel a bit fuller with your energy.

Joe said...

I LOVE these!! You need to get your taste buds checked CaffKing!

benneh said...

I guess i can see some not liking this, but every review is universally bad for it. I kind of liked it i thought it tasted like lemon tea.

Anonymous said...

This drink rocks....i cant get it no where. ..have they discontinued? ...fckn suks

Anonymous said...

Our Dollar Tree in FL sells these at a buck a piece!!!! They are on closeout and I have stocked up... LOVE THIS MONSTER PROTEAN DRINK

Anonymous said...

Our Dollar Tree store here in FL sells them for a buck each. They are on closeout supposedly. I stocked up since I love these Monster Protean drinks.... know not of which the blogger speaks- these ROCK!!!!

Barlow said...

You can find a 15.5fl oz can (if you have it) at Big Lots for an amazing price of $1.00

I love this drink :D

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