Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Buzz Bites Mint Chocolate Energy Chew Review

My new lawyers, Itchy and Twitchy, inform me that my true identity is at risk unless I publish a raving review of Buzz Bites Mint Chocolate Energy Chews. What a dirty deed from such a despicable- huh, what, I can't say that? Okay, uh I mean, what a lovely gesture from such a lovely little company. Its packaging however, is a cluttered collage of stock images, an ugly- what, I cannot say that either? Well then just what can I say? Huh? Read this note, okay; "the tin is pretty."

The smell is concentrated mint with fake chocolate, not quite as aromatically decadent as a York Peppermint Patty or the such, but not unlike those Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. The texture is firm and buttery and melts well in the heat of your mouth, where it is grainy and certainly not silky smooth. The mint does an admirable job keeping the bitterness of the original at bay, a cooling sensation also masking the shameful simplicity of the contracted chocolate taste. The former lessens but lasts longer enough to act as an aftertaste, slightly reminiscent of latter without the slightest herbal or bitterness. Perhaps this diet of mine is getting the better of me, as I quickly ate three before my fingers reached the keyboard. They are not the classiest mint chocolates in the world, but I do not need to be blackmailed to tell you they taste good, and that they are quite addicting (and thankfully are individually wrapped).

Each mint contains 100 milligrams of caffeine, less than a gram of ginseng, a touch of taurine, and a bunch of B vitamins. The buzz from these bites is impressive, fast to initiate and each lasts an hour plus or so. But there is some trans fat here, zero legal grams but nonetheless inexcusable this day in age. Overall, Buzz Bites Mint Chocolate are actually pretty good... but I will be damned if I let the company know that! Do not be fooled by this evil organization, do not fall victim, do not *SLAP* ... do not hire lawyers...

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