Sunday, May 2, 2021

G Fuel Red Licorice Energy Drink Review

G Fuel continues their love affair with candy, this time taking on the company of red licorice. It is a pretty gross sounding combination, you know, drinking Twizzlers or Red Vines, whichever sugar strip is your pleasure, and its shrink-wrapped can does little to assuage this fear. It is splatted with gnarly shades of crimson, complete with large "Sheetz Exclusive" badge at the top (and, offscreen, on the side too). If you always wished for a regional gas station licensed energy drink flavored of movie-theater candy, well, thanks, now I have to review it.

Red Licorice this is not- this is sixteen ounces of medicine, only without a spoonful sugar to help it go down. My tongue tells my brain to have my fingers write that this is not strawberry, but instead a yucky blend of raspberry and cherry, with a synthetic sweetness that cancels out any plausible acidity. What ends up on your palate is the impression of tartness that fails to be, well, tart, as if sourness once lived here and only its slight smell lingers. Thanks to sucralose and acesulfame potassium, the mouthfeel is tepid, airy in the sense that sips glide over your palate with no weight or texture, leaving behind a heavy stain of general unpleasantness. Picture your childhood self, sick with whatever ailment was going around your daycare, and your parents give you thirty milliliters of red cough syrup. Not a good memory is it? Now imagine yourself today, only you are not sick, and nobody is making you drink it.

What we do get is an awesome 300 milligrams of caffeine, along with some vitamins, green tea and green coffee bean extract. The buzz is without a doubt the best thing here, with a kick that hits fast and lasts a solid three hours. But you should not have to experience flashbacks of gagging on Nyquil to get a buzz. Well, at least not the buzz I am interested in.

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