Java Monster Irish Crème Energy Coffee Review

Of all the potent potables to be remade, Java Monster Irish Blend, reviewed here back in the blissfully ignorant days in the year 2010, was not one I ever expected. In fact, I honestly forgot that product existed. Yet here we are with their latest offering, Irish Crème. See, totally different.

The can hits all the right notes, the green working well with the visual wood grain texture and the refreshing dearth of unnecessary text.

How this is any different, flavor-wise, is a mystery but I do not really care, because this is surprisingly tasty. I do wish we had more coffee, since, you know, that is what this masquerades as, but for a caffeinated canned milkshake, you could do a lot worse, even from Monster themselves. Mouthfuls are caked in a most luxurious fattiness, like sipping on melted ice cream, with remote notes of cocoa and cinnamon amongst a more consistent abundance of vanilla. There is a most faded mention of actual java, something I always wish these things were less afraid of highlighting, but what slight roasty-toasty goodness and bitterness is here works as a sort of supporting character to the rest. Considering this is an Irish cream (oh sorry, crème), I welcome that there was no attempt to shoehorn some false alcoholic flavor into the otherwise palatable potent potation, but as ounces fall from the aluminum walls and onto my eager tongue, the more the experience becomes one-note. Just sweetened cream by the end, the aforesaid spice and chocolate nuances lost inside a sea of sugar, glucose and sucralose. And fat, my golly is thing beginning to feel like gulping on liquid butter.

The 200 milligrams of caffeine is enough to sate my morning needs. The buzz is a nice two and half hour long one, nothing unusual here. Other ingredients include B vitamins, taurine, ginseng, the works. Overall, Java Monster Irish Crème is better than the sum of its parts.

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