Hansen's Diet Red Energy Drink Review

Hansen's Diet Energy Diet Red is one "diet" too long, and eight ounces too small. Antediluvian visuals burn the eye with all the flair of a blind graphic designer after a few beers, however it does link solidly to the company's Natural Energy Pro reviewed last year.

The can says "berry" but my tongue screams "bullshit." Red Bull this wants to be, the dead carbonation has the gummy apple and bubble gum flavors kicking and screaming down with each sip. Sweetness is synthetic yet syrupy, a coagulated saccharinity that makes the beverage's pungent thickness even thicker. Unoriginal and antiquated, Hansen's Diet Energy Diet Red is a stupefying and stultifying exercise in every frustration of every bunkum energy drink.

Caffeine, taurine, guarana, inositol, ginseng, and B vitamins craft the kick here, an hour long one that was wholeheartedly anticipated. On the whole, Hansen's Diet Energy Diet Red should just lose the "t" and die.

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