A cascade of diaphanous brown slime pours out of the silver can, not exactly making a great first impression. The nose is less stimulated than the eyes, a scent worse than that last, bottom-of-the-pot cupful left burning on your office's burner. The flavor? Let us just say the palate is the least excited. A body as rich as tap water rushes the tastes of vanilla, coffee and almond onto our diffident tongue, complete with a dismal fattiness. It is boring in the mouth, swill stained of a matte sweetness so artificial you argue the presence of sucrose. No sip has a touch of this or a bit of that; instead a blob of languorous sameness you cannot wait to be over. What makes Ben & Jerry's ice cream so awesome is how the texture is as complex as the taste. True this is not ice cream, but you get the point.
Each can contains: B vitamins, guarana, ginseng, inositol, and 225 milligrams of caffeine. A buzz worthwhile, it lasted something near four hours with some jitters. On the whole, Rockstar Roasted With Almond Milk Light Vanilla Energy Coffee is bad. How bad? Just take my word on it.