Monday, November 23, 2015

Savage Energy Drink Review

The review no one has been waiting for, Savage's diet brother battled my palate over three years ago. The bottle is a joy to hold, heavy plastic and wonderfully resealable. Its design is not so lucky; a completely corporate and borked stab at being hardcore.

Another Red Bull clone guised as citrus, your nose closes up from the relentless pungency of chemicals and dispassion. Our first sip? Not quite as pathetic. Tepid effervescence and syrupy saccharinity conflict with every gulp, cloying the palate as it smoothly passes over. The treacle is a plodding melting pot of bubble gum, vanilla and apple, a soporific trilogy that is as passive as it is poignant. Eight ounces down, one may argue some bilked blue raspberry and con cotton candy appear with each expose to the sorghum, but why would you? Adding more jejune excuses for flavor to an already inexorably exhausted experience is no recipe for success. It overcomplicates a portentously pedestrian beverage while never making it more compelling.

A kick lasting two hours or so, there were some jitters during but no crash after. Each black bottle contains: caffeine, inositol, B vitamins, taurine, choline, and ginseng. Everything considered, Savage Energy is deplorable and inadequate even as a poor man's Red Bull.

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