Tornado Storm Energy Drink Review

The Tornado line, hoping to climb out of the hole it found itself in with The Caffeine's 2015 "Your Drink Sucks" list, struggles with its refreshed design. The name itself is clunky to read, a seven letter word occupying three separate lines for some reason. Any goodwill achieved with asymmetrical decals and gritty fonts and colors comes at the cost of readability, which I dunno, is pretty important.

Fifty grams of sugar is all you taste, real sugar too, but not stopping the sickly sweetness that is HFCS in all but name. Despite chilling in the chill chest, every imbibe is warm no matter the temperature my infrared thermometer claims it to be, making the sticky saccharinity crawl across your palate like a snail on a springtime stroll. The flavor? Oh yes there must be something here, and all tasted under the obdurate sugariness is only the faintest of vanilla and apple, a Red Bull clone with a synthetic sheath clouding any verisimilitude any of the sixteen ounces could offer. Largely unnoticed despite its girth, all gulps sink in a perfunctory acidity, a sourness that would hopefully deteriorate the merciless maltose. Instead palates are battered by both the cruel carbohydrate and the tenacious tartness, birthing an undercurrent of bitterness as the tall transport is direly depleted. Overall, Tornado Storm is an experience pining for a flavor that can at least attempt to match the mediocrity of the bottle.

Each bottle contains: B vitamins, taurine, caffeine (142 milligrams), l-carnitine, and guarana. It is a wildly unspectacular buzz, lasting two hours at most, arguably only a sugar rush. To end, Tornado Storm will not be taking the world by, ahem, storm anytime soon.

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Tornado Active Energy Drink Review

This tall bottle, although incorporating the tornado theme, the one where it gets its name from, significantly better than its original design, remains difficult to read and identify its purported energizing abilities. Being shaped like something other than a cylindrical piece of aluminum is admirable, but aside from some small text in the middle of the label, it does not adequately suggest its caffeinated nature.

Tropical Flavor is the bottle's official description of the taste, and they are right. But it is a muddled experience, one without much of any distinction between the distant pineapple, guava and mango. The trilogy of produce are blurred into a single generic sapor, with citrus nuances deadened beneath the distracted acidity and sweetness. Every sip is ridiculously sweet, fifty grams of unbearable sugar with no artificial ones added to take a slight edge off of the painfully syrupy saccharinity. At least carbonation is unexampled, an impish effervescence that, although it does not excite the dull tastes, does present the dull tastes in an unfamiliar way. It is surprising for the flavor at hand, but is more interesting than enjoyable.

Each sixteen ounce bottle contains: B vitamins, taurine, guarana, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. The kick is right on par with the rest of the beverage: unspectacular to the point of mediocrity. It hovered around two hours before a slight something of a crash occurred. All said and done, Tornado Active is uneven, unexciting, and unenjoyable.

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E-ON Almond Rush Energy Drink Review

This frustratingly colored can is incredibly difficult to photograph, so you will just have to take my word that it is called "Almond Rush." Its grid background of disinteresting silver hides the tiny text designed for the consumer to read, but I guess it does not help that the aforesaid fonts are also argentate.

Trepidatious first sip exposes a surprisingly tasty, and familiar tasting, taste. Its citrusy with a fizzy effervescence that bodes beautifully with the furrowing acidity, something we can only assume it has to do with the tenuous two percentage of juice. Sweetness, thirty seven grams exclusively of cane sugar, does a wonderful job here, sanctioning the sourness to pucker your lips without letting it dominate the twelve ounces. We taste lemon and grapefruit, both spirited renditions both playful and earthy, as if some of their zest was mixed in to this cocktail. The organic taste has a bitter depth to it, and there is a nutty nuance beneath that, every imbibe is layered with intricacy and oddities regardless as to whether or not the experience needed them.

Each can contains: taurine, l-carnitine, guarana, B vitamins and 142 milligrams of caffeine. Any buzz lasts less than two hours, a fairly mediocre burst of energy that is kindred to hundreds of other drinks. In the end, E-ON Almond Rush tastes almost nothing like almonds, and "rush" describes neither the flavor or kick appropriately.

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E-ON Grapefruit Punch Energy Drink Review

E-ON Grapefruit Punch comes in a surprisingly polished can, looking very modern with its tiny grid background of silver and seemingly bare aluminum, with only a few yellow boxes of text. Its svelte twelve ounce can aids in its mission to look sleek, however it is extremely hard not only to read the words in the image to the right, but also real life. A slender stroke would have gone a long way.

A loud crack as the can opens, the aroma is striking and continues to hype up the expectations for this skinny drink. Its first sip is equally striking, an effervescent elixir transporting the eventually bitter taste of grapefruit across the palate, with a splash of lemony tartness. Initially, every imbibe is mature yet playful, a breezy rendition of the morning favorite fruit, with a slight edge of simple orange, a very welcome addition who is unfortunately comparatively dimensionless. As the syrup travels your tongue, its acerbity blazes up from the otherwise vivacious vegetation; the thirty eight grams of cane sugar appearing only to keep the acidity at bay, while the astringent flavor burns unobstructed with each sip. Its climax is welcome but underwhelming, with a dying of the acridity, leaving only a slight bluntness to the remaining sourness. E-ON Grapefruit Punch is an experience I will not soon forget, and whether or not it is any good is irrelevant; it is daring and different, and for that, I appreciate it, even if I do not like it.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, guarana, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. There is also 150 calories and is three percent juice. The kick is nothing spectacular, actually it is on the verge of poor, lasting just under two hours. To end, E-ON Grapefruit Punch is unusual, and in a sea of predictability, that is refreshing. Especially when the drink itself is made by the same people who bottle the terrible and trite Tornado drinks.

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Tornado Ice Energy Drink Review

Back is the gnarly plastic bottle with a replaceable cap, but that continues to be the only area the Tornado brand succeeds: too much real estate is black, empty space fitted with a tiny logo and an underwhelming twister theme. Do tornadoes exist in winter time? The answer is a quick Google search away, but I should not be asking myself that when there is an energy drink in hand.

There is a lot of citrus here, an experience considerably more unique than its Red Bull pretending predecessor- unique, but not tastier. Grapefruit and lemon dominate but disappoint in this fruit salad, flavors fuliginous with little in the way of honesty. Lime, melon and orange join the umbrageous union, produce pushed into the darkness by a diet-destroying fifty nine grams of sugar; giving each already confused sip a heavy and gooey lamination of unsought saccharinity. Undesired dulcitude quickly cloys and clumps together in the back of your throat, further dissimulating the shoal salmagundi. Effervescence is equally mundane, a flat carbonation that engenders the existing stagnant mouthfeel. Overall, Tornado Ice may not be a lamentable Red Bull clone like its relative, but it is lamentable.

Each bottle contains: some B vitamins, taurine, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. Any energy lasts no longer than two hours, an uninspired and unimpressive buzz for something with so much sugar. On the whole, Tornado Ice is almost "so-bad-it's-good." Right now, it is just "so-bad."

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Tornado Original Energy Drink Review

Tornado Original comes with an awesome resealable top, a shrinkwrapped bottle with a black label sporting minimal text. The little tornado graphic is cute but that is as far as the brand runs with the theme, settling for empty space and generic red "swooshes."

After the satisfying tear of the closable cap, Tornado goes down hill faster than any in recent memory. Sixty four grams of real sugar cloy and disgust like high fructose corn syrup does, sticking to the palate a glue saturated of medicinal apple, gummy bubble gum, and sticky vanilla. The trashy triune tumbles through the sickly sweet sorghum ungracefully, its apathetic effervescence only stalling the already slow and shoddy experience. Tying the terrifying troika together is its tiring tartness, the kind of overwhelming and uncomplementary acidity only ever achieved by accident. Every sip is a bacchanalian of inordinateness, a regurgitation of all that has ever been bad about an energy drink's taste.

Every bottle contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. Your reward for stuffing the unsightly sixteen ounces down is a middling buzz, the kind of kick that lasts only two hours. Overall, I once saw a movie where Bill Paxton chased tornadoes. What does that have to do with Tornado Original? They both suck.

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