Maxwell House Max 2x Boost Vanilla Iced Coffee Review

Now what the hell is this drink called?! "Maxwell House Max 2x Boost Vanilla Iced Coffee?" That is clumsy and repetitive, and that is a shame considering the bottle is fairly nice. Its all black backdrop looks great against the splash of dark brown coffee, and I particularly like the scale smack-dab in the middle showing its potency (180 milligrams of caffeine here).

The flavor is yucky, plain, and simple, plain and simple. Skim milk is the furthest thing from an adequate dairy delivery system, with the "concentrated coffee" tasting so incredibly bitter that with every sip I debated whether or not to just cancel this review. But I kept on sipping, just for you; because I like you all a lot. Without a doubt there needs to be a grander fattiness, something to cut through the acerbity. Sugar, thirty three grams of is, also never gives the acridity a fight- with each imbibe the saccharinity succumbs to the overwhelming astringency, staining your palate of pungent obnoxiousness. Perhaps worst of all is how the bitterness does not taste as if it is from coffee- there is a dominant chemical influence to it. This is a fascinatingly poor beverage, one who's execution is so wrong-headed from gulp one that by the time you drink the last drop the only accomplishment you feel is that from escaping tedium.

Each bottle contains just 180 milligrams of caffeine, a solid amount do not get me wrong; crafting a kick lasting three hours just about. Overall, Maxwell House Max 2x Boost Vanilla Iced Coffee is as exhausting to say out loud as it is to drink.

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Hype Enlite Energy Drink Review

Rising from the grave is the Hype line, a brand not seen on this site in seven years! This time, Enlite's can has more purple and a bit less pink than it had all those years ago when I last reviewed it, however it is no more interesting. The giant white brand name is at least easy to read, however the smaller "energy" and the subsequent cursive text is difficult to decipher.

The crystal clear liquid sits flatly on the tongue, a dull and metallic experience mewed with minuscule sweetness and even less flavor. It is an awful cocktail, a Red Bull clone bitter with its blend of apple, vanilla, and citrus, all so chemical-tasting with a hebetudinous texture that weighs down the already uncharismatically carbonated experience. The three savors sit dissonantly stitched together, with every unfortunate gulp you feel the explicit walls between each dissentient sapor. The stannic flavor from the can perverts each of the many obnoxious sips of this tatterdemalion potable, interdicting the three-part sugar-system of sucralose, ace-k and actual sugar from actual sugaring. Overall, Hype Enlite needs some enlightening.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, and 152 milligrams of caffeine. The ingredient blend lamentably loses eight milligrams of my namesake chemical and some others, however the kick is equally unceleritous. In the end, Hype Enlite's tepid reformulation took bad and made it worse.

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E-ON Grapefruit Punch Energy Drink Review

E-ON Grapefruit Punch comes in a surprisingly polished can, looking very modern with its tiny grid background of silver and seemingly bare aluminum, with only a few yellow boxes of text. Its svelte twelve ounce can aids in its mission to look sleek, however it is extremely hard not only to read the words in the image to the right, but also real life. A slender stroke would have gone a long way.

A loud crack as the can opens, the aroma is striking and continues to hype up the expectations for this skinny drink. Its first sip is equally striking, an effervescent elixir transporting the eventually bitter taste of grapefruit across the palate, with a splash of lemony tartness. Initially, every imbibe is mature yet playful, a breezy rendition of the morning favorite fruit, with a slight edge of simple orange, a very welcome addition who is unfortunately comparatively dimensionless. As the syrup travels your tongue, its acerbity blazes up from the otherwise vivacious vegetation; the thirty eight grams of cane sugar appearing only to keep the acidity at bay, while the astringent flavor burns unobstructed with each sip. Its climax is welcome but underwhelming, with a dying of the acridity, leaving only a slight bluntness to the remaining sourness. E-ON Grapefruit Punch is an experience I will not soon forget, and whether or not it is any good is irrelevant; it is daring and different, and for that, I appreciate it, even if I do not like it.

Each can contains: B vitamins, taurine, guarana, and 142 milligrams of caffeine. There is also 150 calories and is three percent juice. The kick is nothing spectacular, actually it is on the verge of poor, lasting just under two hours. To end, E-ON Grapefruit Punch is unusual, and in a sea of predictability, that is refreshing. Especially when the drink itself is made by the same people who bottle the terrible and trite Tornado drinks.

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Vuka Workout Zo-Cal Energy Drink Review

Four years since Vuka last rested in my palm, and not much has changed. Two sugar free variations now exist, with silver trim for distinction. Today we are looking at the diet Workout adaptation, a waistline friendly adaptation of their berry lemonade. Its design is playful and charming, something you have fun looking at while taking it seriously. The resealable aluminum is a woefully underused artifice, giving this crimson can a terrific first impression.

Stevia sweetens, for better or worse- scratch that, it is for worse. Each sip is an unenthused hodgepodge of oblique fruits, neutered of the citrusy or berry flavor promised on the attractive five cent returnable. They are exchanged for an astringent earthiness from the honey alternative, something that might ironically work better with a greater saccharinity. Its harsh effervescence grates the throat, leaving the palate tender to the burn of the bored bitterness. Surely this must taste like something specific, but your tongue could only hope and lust. Dead strawberry buried in all the unfortunate aforementioned, linked languidly to cranberry and some cherry. Lemon is represented even less, as it was with the original, but without any sourness, its stamp on the can is all the more inconsequential. This Vuka is a vexatious version that simply did not have to be. Made, that is.

Each can contains: B vitamins, potassium, and caffeine (160 mg). Two and a half hours is all one should expect here, a decent boast nothing new from an energy drink. In the end, Vuka Zo-Cal Workout is a disturbingly disappointing affair, surprising considering the original was only adequate.

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Rip It Sting-eR-Mo Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

Where as the 220 calorie original was sharp and distinct, this zero calorie cousin pains the eyes without color or character. The 'Rip It' design has remained largely the same since its introduction, but it is these sugar free varieties who make you notice the art's age.

Nearly four years since the original, sugared 'Mo was experienced, this diet version was cracked open and sipped without much prejudice ("much," I still have its review). There is little in the name of flavor; rogue vanilla present deep beneath layers of gumminess and artificial sweetener bitterness. The texture is thin yet viscous, with nuance of its aluminum transport quickly tasted. It is pervasively uninteresting, a colossal casualty even at its discount price.

Each can contains: caffeine (160 milligrams), inositol, guarana, ginseng, taurine, with B and C vitamins. The resulting buzz is a tad lackluster for the line, just north of three hours long without jitters. Chiefly speaking, Rip It Sting-eR-Mo Sugar Free is an outdated disaster.

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AeroShot Lime Energy Shot Review

These AreoShots has been staring at me on the shelves of several convenience stores for some time now, but a combination of its high price tag and few (and generally negative) reviews have turned me off, until now of course. As caffeine you breath in but do not inhale, this is probably the most utterly bizarre energy product in a long time, if not of all time.

The size of lip balm and equally cheap in the palm, a fine grain coats most of my mouth upon my first breath in. There is incredibly little flavor- oh wait, scratch that, a bit of lime pokes through, and then lets in a nasty bitterness that is equally chemically and organically vulgar. The lime is deprived of depth, absent is any tartness or citrus goodness. An experience where you need a chaser, preferably something strong; like a potent energy drink, so you can just toss out this nearly three buck anathema (and make sure it is lime flavored too). On the company's FAQ's section of their website, they make mention of the bitterness here, to quote, to "... keep things interesting." It is interesting, all right, washing down expensive badness with its competition.

Each tube has 100 milligrams of caffeine, and some B vitamins. The kick hits you fast and lasts as long as it can, around two or so hours. Overall, the product here is loutish and underdeveloped, never reaching its lofting ambitions. It is nothing but a glorified tongue powder in a cool tube.

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Runa Original Clean Energy Drink Review

There is not much here, a clean can for sure, but one that has a passive interest in keeping you interested. Contrary to most drinks these days, the small eight ounces has a belligerently interminable look who's visual disinterest loses to any other drink on the shelf. Their efforts are appreciated, but there is such a thing as excessively modest.

Remember how I just criticized the drink for its diminutive serving size? With the first sip, well, I am singing a different tune. Flavored with Amazon guayusa, this coarsely carbonated experience drinks with pungent nuance of earth and vehement bitterness. Like black black tea, i.e. black tea without sugar or cream, there is a total truancy of sweetness and any real flavor. Refreshingly brisk and thick with risk but far too niche, drinking Runa is like having a mouth full of plants and soil.

Each can contains only a few ingredients: carbonated water, guayusa, flavors, citrus acid, and 120 milligrams of caffeine. The latter is all I care about, producing a feeble kick that lasted three hours- only because it takes so long to stomach something so its own.

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Eternal Energy Tropical Shot Review

For eighty eighty cents at the local Wally World, this little Eternal Energy Shot certainly could have turned out optically worse. The color scheme is good but basic, with rather generic graphics and glaringly empty space above the lowercase logo. The text is probably more undistinguished (cue the "Wake Up: Feel Great: Live Healthy" slogan), and there is not any real reason why the flavor, 'Tropical Punch,' is listed both at the top and bottom.

Fragrantly chalky, the flavor is not a whole lot better. Unexpectedly bitter with a moldy texture and indistinct taste, rough notes of cherry is about how tropical things gets here. You do gradually become accustomed to the astringency, with raspberry, cranberry, and perhaps guava poking into the experience. But it is hardly premium, and even the required chaser struggled to disguise the harrowing flavor, especially as more sips were sipped. Tartness is absent and sweetness only scarcely does its job, artificial with coarse flavor its own. Overall, you will not enjoy these two ounces, plain and simple.

Aside from the usual suspects; caffeine, taurine, guarana, there are also rare faces like; quercetin, green tea, yerba mate, several fruit extracts (obviously no flavor was extracted), and a slew of long worded ingredients. The taste obviously was affected by the twenty five plus long cocktail, but it helped the kick clock in at just above two hours. It was strong and steady, without crash but far from the most potent. In the end, you do at least reap some rewards if you can stomach this.

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Golazo Sugar Free Energy Drink Review

 I like the green with the silver and white to Golazo Sugar Free's design, a can that remains easy to read despite its load of things to read. I cannot help but wish that it was a sixteen ounce can however, and although the soccer theme is questionable, the aesthetics here are pretty good.

The high hopes for Golazo Sugar Free were crushed almost immediately, delayed only for its rather pleasant NOS aroma. There is mango and lime again present, however they are more bitter than saccharine thanks to the erroneous choice of stevia and erythritol over, well ... any other sweetener system. The two tasted fruits are bland and one dimensional, showing no depth themselves or through the aid of others; the guava and tangerine noticed in the sugared version are lost within the unnecessary pungency. Earlier I mentioned that the can should be bigger, but with a taste like this I have changed my mind.

Each can contains: yerba mate, caffeine (100mg), guarana, and D-ribose. The absence of sugar left the two hour buzz seemingly unaffected. Overall, Golazo Sugar Free is a lusterless drink principally because of its sulky taste.

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Pure Kyk Energy Powder Review

Pure Kyk Energy powder is a potent 1.35 grams, with each sachet containing two servings of 150 milligrams of caffeine, a real solid amount. Its pouch is smaller than those that the flavoured stuff you add to water usually comes in, and its aggressive fonts look great off of the clean blackness and the equally urban purple design. My only real complaint is that there is no mention of its impressive caffeine content, which is a true shame considering it should be proudly displayed.

Itself tasteless and even with added Stevia, dumping the entire packet may render your drink herbal and bitter, which was the case with a can of Diet Mtn Dew Supernova. You are still potentially able to finish whatever you added it to, but it is certainly wise to cautiously begin with half an envelope. Unfortunately, pouring in only half is incredibly difficult to judge considering the sachet is not clear, and you end up either mixing in too much or too little. The next issue is that you frequently lose effervescence when stirring in the powder, caused by an ugly eruption of foam marbleized with the combined grain. It was not an issue with a twelve ounce serving of Diet Dr Thunder, with only mild sudsing occurring, though it rendered similar results when 300 milligrams are added, numbing much of the cheap spicy flavour and censoring the artificial sweetness considerably. There were a myriad of different drinks tested, however there is no reason to get specific considering they rendered kindred results. Overall, comparable products succeed where Pure Kyk fails by not turning your drink into a bland and unpleasant beverage.

There is a total of 300 milligrams of caffeine per pack, with some taurine and guarana in unknown amounts. The buzz was a solid five hours long, if the entirety was added, with no jitters or subsequent crash. All in all, if anything, Pure Kyk should be consumed purely for its kick.

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Ed Hardy Caffeinated Coffee Rocks Review

Ed Hardy Coffee Rocks' box looks just as good as did its Chocolate brother, though I do greatly prefer the black background over the brown. Otherwise, spare some text changes, the two aren't any different, but then again why should they of tried to fix something that wasn't broken?

The strong natural and artificial coffee flavour is staggering at first bite, with the sharpness and bitterness of any budget candy coated espresso bean. A crunchy shell disguises a solid core of semisweet chocolate, but the sixty percent cocoa is itself far too bitter to play well with that of the added coffee taste, as each rock, if you will, ends up publicizing no fair sweetness or fattiness. Though there are ten grams of fat, and twenty one grams of sugar, making it the first ingredient, the burnt pungency the experience so unwittingly sponsors is still predominate, and voids either of the former from alleviating even slightly from it. I will admit, though, that as you force yourself to continue eating, the individual pieces eventually become somewhat tolerable, about half way through the box, but even then they weren't pleasant enough to willingly finish what you started. Wholly do I feel that milk, or some sort of hyper saccharine chocolate, was required to ease the biting astringency.

Yes, it's possible to get a full six or so hour buzz from Ed Hardy Coffee Rocks, with it containing 600 milligrams of caffeine. The catch is, however, that you must eat the entire box. In the end, it doesn't matter how potent your product may be if the consumer can't even, or can barely, eat their way there.

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Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks Review

Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks' box, though sporting some large text, is superb looking, with the stylish dog and easy flowing organization being the two greatest examples. I do truly appreciate how they kept things entirely clean with the absence of anything distracting, however using the word "Rocks" has the potential for confusing potential costumers.

Out fall two or three imperfect rounds of the cocoa confection, and by fall I mean into my mouth. I am displeased, however, to note of a bitter undercurrent that's of equal strength of the actual flavour. This thankfully lasts only briefly and concerns only the first few you eat, but once you stop stuffing your mouth full of them, it returns in the form of an aftertaste. But for now, you can simply taste the chocolate, but once you bite through the thin candy coating you're exposed to a rather pedestrian semisweet variety of the such. Each chew yields a slight grainy texture, who's slightness only aids in the classification as a low grade chocolate. Normally I'm a big advocate for darker, thus less sweet, varieties of the oft brown treat, but with 600 milligrams of the caffeine good stuff, one really does wish for far more saccharinity to counter all the inherit bitterness. But all the former didn't seem to dissuade me from consuming the whole box, all in one sitting, but punishment for my gluttony was dished out in the form of the aforementioned aftertaste, which chokes the palate with the expected. And in the end, I sure do hate when something leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

I already stated how much caffeine are in these bad(tasting) boys, and you better believe they're powerful stuff. The entire box provides a five to six hour buzz, if not longer, though you'd better pace yourself or you risk getting a pace maker. Overall, Ed Hardy Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks is an unbalanced experiment in creativity.

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Java Mallows Review

Crestfallen am I, as Java Mallow is the final in the trilogy of caffeinated marshmallows by Caffex. This concluding variety is ocularly kindred to the prior two flavours, with the same libidinous lipstick stain and the same metagrobolizing bottoming statements. They latter, though, hasn't been corrected yet and understandably so, as the triad of confections were packaged together, which makes the improvement implausible to occur.

The pheromone released by the imperfectly shaped square would make any self respecting barista blush with pleasure. The taste is obviously of coffee, but it's lowly acidic and has an ambrosial bitterness that makes the eyes open rather than water. The ingredients proclaim various seasonings, but they're largely circumvented by the aforesaid. The espresso flavour is preponderately of the former pungency, along with subtle imbutions of burnt coffee, but the two are kept close to the yard by a sacchariferous leash. The general sweetness is remarkably meek but expectantly so, with its daunting task of regulating the bitterness. You're constantly tasting the cassonade, and every aspect of the palate experience is distinctly though verecundly sugared. Each dislodged chunk mollifies greatly and swiftly, though it always remains ever dense to chew but physically light on the tongue. Overall, Java Mallows isn't as exceptional as antecedent flavours mainly because it didn't provide the same euphoric surprise that was so bold with the initial variety.

280 milligrams of caffeine is a solid amount, for anything, and especially in such a diminutive consumable. The kick just barely missed out on the five hour mark, and it was strong to begin and strong throughout. In the end, and though it's sad but true, Java Mallows feel less like an individual extension of the line, and more like an adaptation of Coffee Mallow for the more ambitious.

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illy issimo Caffe Coffee Drink Review

illy issimo Caffe, while not an energy drink, does in fact contain a healthy 155mg of caffeine per can, and since it comes in the same medium as most energy drinks(essentially a modified soda can), I decided to give it a try. Its can is a small six point eight oz.'s, and while its appearance is clean and highly sophisticated, I struggled with figuring out what it's officially called. But I'm unsure whether I can criticize it for this, because there's a chance that I'm just inept and people to whom this is marketed to have no trouble.

illy issimo Caffe, unlike any of the previous coffee drinks that I've reviewed, is not creamed and is purely just sweetened coffee. Irascibly acidic with a surprisingly smooth mouth feel, illy's taste begins with strong notes of burnt toast that are partially garnished by a subjacent dark chocolate. The latter has its own bitter variance who's pleasantly in stasis with the fair sweetness and unique body of the chocolate. A roasted hazelnut that's roughly acrid then braids with a strong, though entirely separate from the previous, bitterness, and this alloy occupies as the foundation for the prior to casually rest atop. The nutty taste itself is balsamic, lacking any strong or real distinct presence, and as a result it easily absorbs several fierce qualities from its surroundings; a strong burnt characteristic and a well balance of astringency and bitterness. The just prior creates an uncomfortable throat burning that makes sipping anything large painful unless you're accustomed. The finish is mostly clean leaving, with a bitter aura left behind after each sip. Overall, illy's explicit lack of cream is a refreshing change of pace for one who's wholly used to cream-laden RTD coffees, but my lack of appreciation and enjoyment for uncreamed sweetened coffee in general prevents me from hailing much about it.

All issimo contains is 155mg of caffeine, which to me, is perfectly fine, as I received a pretty impressive jolt. I felt energized decently quick after full consumption, and it continued to increase for around half an hour before it limboed for another two and a half or so. All in all, illy issimo Caffe is ultimately a unique ready to drink coffee that the likes of me don't particularly like.

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Venom Cold Blast Bite

Two energy products that have disappointed me are energy shots, and Venom Energy, so when I heard that there was a Venom energy shot going to be released soon, you can be sure that I didn't care. But when I heard that they were giving two shots away for free, I couldn't help but order them. But now that I have them, are they going to turn out to be worth my time, or are they going to fall into a deep state of average like his bothers?

FIRST IMPRESSION: The bottle to Venom Bite uses the same great design that the past Venom drinks did, but with some mild changes. The most noticeable is the ice theme. The colour is a icy blue, which I think works well with the addition of ice pillars on the top. The sub name "Cold Blast" and the flavour "arctic punch" also help. Overall, despite the bottle looking similar to a certain body gel, I still think that Venom Cold Blast has the best design in the whole line up, and believe me, that is saying a lot.

TASTE: I opened the bottle and took a sip. The flavour starts out a strong blend of several fruits, namely strawberry, cranberry, and blue raspberry, that then fades into a strange mix of mint, tartness and bitterness. The strawberry is the most noticeable of the three flavours, with the cranberry in close second, as the blue raspberry is rather unnoticeable. The bitterness lasts longer than the tartness, and is the only real after taste, which is a disappointment. The mint isn't very strong, which I think wasn't a good decision on Dr Pepper/Snapples part, because it could of help counter act the bitterness. Other than the strong bitterness, perhaps the most disappointing thing about the flavour is that for an "arctic punch" flavour, it is just not sweet enough. When I think of punch, I think of rotting my teeth, but apparently Dr Pepper/Snapple is a little more heath conscious. Overall, the negatives just don't outweigh the positives on the flavour to Venom Cold Blast Bite.

KICK: Each three oz. bottle contains: 160 mg of caffeine, taurine, guarana, nine grams of sugar, and 200% your daily intake of Vit. B12, B6, Niacin, and riboflavin. This blend of ingredients gave me one pretty good kick. For around four or so hours I felt awake, "there," and fulling aware of my surroundings. After the four hours I got a small crash, but nothing major enough to interfere with my busy schedule. Overall, a solid kick from Venom Cold Blast.

FINAL WORDE: From start to finish, I have to say that Venom Cold Blast Bite is the best energy shot I've ever tried. Though the taste wasn't good, the great can and potent kick make up for it. Despite the lines history, I was a little disappointed by the taste, and I was impressed with the kick. I have to say that Venom Cold Blast Bite is one of the hardest energy products I've ever had to review. Here you've got this great looking, powerful energy shot, but the taste just doesn't do them justice. All in all, if your looking for a powerful energy shot that comes in a great looking bottle and don't mind having to down the shot with another drink, than buy Venom Cold Blast Bite...3.5/5

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NOS Powershit

Now, two of my least favorite things in the energy market are energy shots and the NOS line, so when all I had in my fridge was NOS Powershot, you can imagine that I wasn't a happy camper. Putting one of the most disappointing energy drink lines in shot form isn't exactly what I call a good idea. I've tried NOS Grape, NOS in the can and NOS in the bottle, and they all came out with similar results, below average, so my hopes for NOS Powershit- I mean Powershot, aren't too high.

FIRST IMPRESSION: NOS Powershot comes in a tiny two oz. bottle with a similar label to its older brothers NOS Grape and NOS in Bottle. Now while I think the blue bottle matches the orange label quite well, I don't like how the label is cluttered. I also don't like how most if not all energy shots come in resealable bottles, while many large energy drinks come in the conventional pop top soda can design that can't reseal. Why the hell would you put something that your supposed to drink in a sip in a resealable can, and put something your supposed to drink moderately like juice or tea comes in a non-close able bottle. Either way, the bottles too cluttered and doesn't do much to stand off the shelf compared to some shots.

TASTE: I opened the bottle and took a sip. The flavours best described as strong passion fruit upfront, but then a strong bitterness kick in. The passion fruit, while too strong for my taste, is sadly the best part of the flavour. There's a slight orange flavour that rides along side the passion fruit, but sadly gets overrun by the bitterness. Overall, NOS Powershot's flavour is one of the worst I've had in my near three years of reviewing.

KICK: Each bottle contains: high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, taurine, natural passion fruit flavor with other natural flavors, 125mg of caffeine, Vitamin C, inositol, ginseng, vitamin B6, beta carotene, and vitamin B 12. Now while most of the drinks in the NOS line has been disappointing on taste, but impressed me in the kick department, NOS Powershot provided me with a measly two hour buzz, filled with twitches and ended with no crash. NOS Powershot's weak kick surprised me, as the bottle said, "This is not NOS Energy Drink... and is much more powerful." You'd think after two powerful energy drinks that the concentrated form would be more powerful, but NOS somehow made that little bit of sense, nonsense.

FINAL WORD: Overall, NOS Powershot is not only a disgrace the NOS line, but to energy products in general. This could of been the saving grace to the poor NOS line, but it instead turned out to be a badly dressed, bitter weak disappointment. The Whole NOS line in general has been pretty bad, but at least they all had something to keep them from completely failing, but not NOS Powershot. Avoid NOS Powershot at all cost. I got mine from Big Lots for $1, and I have to say I paid too much...1.6/5

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