Red Bull the Orange Edition Energy Drink Review

In an odd turn of events, the pale Red Bull Zero Orange has received a full-sugar brethren. Its can remains identical save for silver and orange swapping places; this makes things considerably easier to read, however its name is just as stupid as calling it "Orange Bull," although that is a mistake they made at the line's conception.

"The Taste of Tangerine" the can reads; several sips in, and I am still waiting. The flavor is as familiar as any orange soda, but with a few pleasant surprises that make it (mostly) its own. The usual extreme sugariness is traded for a more robust tartness, though the thirty eight grams of sucrose still honey things up to a sometimes sickly degree. Sips are loaded with all the orangey-goodness you would expect from the color of the can, though there is a slight hint of blood orange livening every few imbibes, and the belated tangerine's even more rare appearance extends each quaff's complexity. There is a clout of clogged syrupy sweetness as the can nears the completion of its short twelve ounces, and although none of the gulps ever resemble the flavor that ugly bull is known for popularizing, it seems that orange remains the hardest flavor to mess up; in other words, this wholly-generic experience is pretty good.

Your reward from the 160 calories of expensive orange-soda is an unimpressive kick, one lasting under two hours. Each can contains: B vitamins, caffeine (114 milligrams), and taurine. All in all, Red Bull the Orange Edition is their best edition. Or at least, one of the better.

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Rockstar Boom Whipped Orange Energy Drink Review

This bright aluminum transport pops off of the shelves, with its orange to yellow gradient and attention-grabbing font. It is cluttered, that is for sure, but its asymmetrical and no-holds appearance helps it stand out amongst the myriad of other similarly-colored cans.

Everything is equally sweet and tart, a vaguely milky orange taste that is as dry as it is dimensionless. There is not one sip that fills you with wonder; its sixty four grams of sugar is too saccharine for the underdeveloped creamy artifice, your sherbet expectations are shattered at first gulp. Real orange juice, well, all two percent of it, only carries the beverage so far, and the unenthusiastic quantity of skim milk and cream provides only the obscurest of fatty texture to this lightly carbonated potable. It is a flat, puerile experience that misses its rather interesting, if gimmicky, target by a most disappointing mile.

Each can contains: taurine, caffeine (160 milligrams), inositol, milk thistle, ginseng, guarana, B vitamins and 260 calories. For all the empty carbohydrates, there is not as much of the white bitter stimulant as I would have hoped, resulting in a two and a half hour long buzz, with something of a crash afterward. To end, Rockstar Boom Whipped Orange is a big-named novelty energy drink that fails to deliver on its kitsch premise.

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Jolt Orange Blast

After reviewing a small two oz. energy shot, I just had to find a large drink to even everything out, and a local convenience store had what I was looking for. Jolt Orange Blast is what I expect to be the orange flavoured variety in the popular Jolt line, and probably the one I'm the least excited to review. Orange energy drinks have never been a favorite of mine, so despite the lines great history, I doubt things will change with Jolt Orange Blast.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Like Passion Fruit before it, Jolt Orange Blast suffers from a second rate can design. The logo is much too large and the lightning is ineffective. I also don't like the near ridiculous price I paid. At $2.99, Jolt Orange costs way too much, though it isn't as bad as a recent Monster flavour. On the positive side, I do like the large quantity and I like the resealable cover. Overall, with a rather poor can things (hopefully) can only get better.

TASTE: After wrestling with the shrink wrap I eventually was able to twist the top off and take a sip. The flavour starts out a mild tangerine that is soon followed by a heavy metallic taste. Along side the metallic taste is a faint bitterness. Though the metallic flavour is strong enough to cover most of the bitterness, it is too strong to be enjoyed. The tangerine tastes pretty fake and dull, and since there isn't any other real flavour, the overall taste is uninteresting. At twenty four oz., drinking the entire can is rather monotonous. Overall, Jolt Orange Blast's flavour is too dull, too tame, and too boring to be called "Orange Blast."

KICK: Each can contains: 315 calories, HFCS, Taurine, caffeine, guarana, ginseng, riboflavin, and niacin. This potent blend of ingredients gave me a good ol' caffeine/sugar rush. For a reasonable four or so hours I was energetic and had a measurable degree of the jitters. At no surprise I received a hard crash once the four hours ended.

FINAL WORD: Jolt Orange Blast is a largely mediocre product. The can was shoddy, the taste was boring, and the kick, while strong, ended in a horrible crash. I didn't expect a great can, given the lines history, and I knew the buzz was going to end in a crash, so it was the taste that really left me in disappointing shock. Passion Fruit and Cola both had great taste, but sadly Orange Blast's taste was tacky and lifeless. I find Orange Blast to be a drink full of "ifs." If only the can was more appealing, if only the taste was more appetizing, and if only the kick didn't end in a crash. Whether for $2.99 or $.99, Jolt Orange Blast is nothing more than a "been there done that, better" product...2.2/5

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Sport Energy Mango Cream

For the last couple of days I've tried reviewing another energy drink, but I had some creative differences and I scrapped the review. Perhaps some day I'll release it, but for now it is locked away in the vault and instead you readers get the review of Sport Energy Mango Cream. Sport Energy Mango is third drink I have in the Sport Energy line, and the one I'm the least excited to review as I've never really liked mango energy drinks. While the few mango drinks I've had in my day were at least decent, to think about a line with such potential like the Sport line being laced with a decent at best drink is depressing. I've never had anything that was "mango cream" flavoured, so I have no idea what to expect.

FIRST IMPRESSION: I don't like the can to Sport Mango, I really don't. While I enjoyed the previous Sport Energy cans, Mango's combination of orange and lightning just seems forced and unnatural. I can't say that I'm all too excited to review Sport Mango, given the name mystery and the poor can, but if it tastes half as good as the previous flavours, it will at least be decent.

TASTE: I opened the can and took as sip. The flavour starts out a fresh-tasting mango that slowly diminishes into a faint orange and tangerine blend. Neither the orange or the tangerine are very sweet nor do they taste artificial. The mango flavour doesn't feel overpowering and is joined by the perfect amount of carbonation. The overall drink isn't very sweet, just like the fruit flavours it is trying to duplicate. Sport Mango Cream isn't very creamy, but instead very refreshing and thirst quenching, which I feel was the best way to do a "mango" drink.

KICK: I found the buzz to Sport Energy Mango Cream to be underwhelming. While it was by no means terrible, it wasn't far from average. For around three hours I felt more alert and had no jitters. Once the three hours was up it began to decline. Overall, the kick was nothing to write hope about. Each can contains: 160mg of caffeine, 2000mg of Taurine, ten mg of guarana, 400% of your daily intake of Vit. B6, ten mg of ginseng, and 200% of your daily intake of Vit. B5, B12, and Niacin.

FINALL WORDE: Overall, Sport Energy Mango Cream is nothing more than a run of the mill energy drink with a great taste. If Sport Energy Inc. wants to become a real competitor in the energy drink market, they're going to have to rely on more than just taste. I usually criticize energy drinks for relying on the can or kick instead of the taste, but in Sport Mango's case it is the complete opposite. Though I can praise the taste till next morning, the can is too unattractive to gain any attention from energy drinkers and the average kick wont keep them coming back...3.2/5

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amp Relaunch

I recently went to a Shaws Supermarket, and while I was checking out their selection of energy drinks I noticed that amp products were on sale for $1. So I picked up the last un-reviewed varieties and made my purchase. amp Relaunch was one of those varieties, and the one I'm least excited for. Though Relaunch has been given pretty good reviews, I'm just not a big fan of orange flavoured energy drinks, as they tend to be more like orange juice then orange soda.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Personally, out of all the cans in the new amp line, I have to say that this is my favorite, but that isn't saying much. The text is jumbled and for the most part useless. With an orange can, your first thought is that the flavour is going to be orange, so then why do they feel the need to write "orange citrus" on the can? I don't know.

TASTE: I opened the can and took a sip. The flavour starts out a crisp, artificial orange that quickly fades into sweet tangerine taste. The orange flavour is pretty subtle, where as the tangerine taste is vibrant. Unlike the previous amp flavours, Relaunch doesn't leave a syrupy coating in your mouth, which is a pleasant surprise. amp Relaunch goes down very smooth, almost too smooth. Be careful or you might end up drinking the whole can before you can fully enjoy the taste. Overall, I have to say that amp Relaunch is easily one of the best tasting flavours in the line, despite it not being very complex.

KICK: Each can contains: 220 calories, 200% of your daily intake of Riboflavin, Niacin, Pantothenic acid, 248 mg of guarana seed extract, 160mg of caffeine, 148mg of maltodextrin, 296mg of Taurine, and thirty four mg of Ginseng. This overall blend gave me a decent buzz. For around three hours my mental alertness went up a decent amount and I didn't get a case of the jitters. After the three hours I got a mild crash, but nothing out of the ordinary.

FINAL WORD: Overall, I feel that amp Relaunch is a slightly below average overall energy drink. While the taste was great, the mediocre can and boring kick drag the overall score down. Personally, I feel that amp Relaunch is more of a highly caffeinated orange soda than an energy drink, and at $2.29, it is an expensive one at that. Though, for what I paid($1), amp Relaunch isn't the worst you could do, but it is far from the best. All in all, unless you have the ability to look past all the low points, skip amp Relaunch like a rock...2.9/5

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rip it Citrus X re-review

Before Big Lots came into my life, the main place that I got energy drinks was the Dollar Tree. Though they rarely had new energy drinks, the ones they did have held me over quite well. And because I wasn't able to go to Big Lots this week, I decided to go to the Dollar Tree. Though I didn't find anything I haven't reviewed before, I did find one that was prime for a re-review. That drink was rip it Citrus X. When I first reviewed Citrus X, I was ecstatic about the drink, but since my taste's have changed, I've decided to re-review it.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Personally, I'm not a fan of the can. Though the colour really jumps off the shelf, it just doesn't look all that appetizing. When it comes to energy drinks, citrus usually means lemon or lime, and when the can colour is orange-ish, it usually means that it's going to be an orange flavoured drink. So what do you expect from a drink in an orange can that's named Citrus X? An orange and lime flavour? Who knows.

TASTE: I opened the can and took a sip. The flavour is hard to describe. It starts out a smooth artificial orange flavour that lingerers in your mouth until it fades, leaving a slight tangerine taste behind. The tangerine is much more natural tasting, almost like they left a little peel in it. The flavour ends with a sweet orange bite, which fades rather slow, making it the only real aftertaste. While the flavour isn't at all tart, bitter, or gummy, it sure is sweet, which while I liked it, it may put off some. The drink is pretty carbonated at first, but the more you drink it, the less it is. Overall, I like the flavour of rip it Citrus X. While it is by no means one of the best tasting energy drinks I've ever had, it's still a good+ tasting drink.

KICK: Each can contains: Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, taurine, citric acid, natural and artificial flavors, caffeine, inositol, maltodextrin, guarana seed extract, brominated vegetable oil, pyridoxine hydrochloride, folic acid, and cyanocobalamin. This blend of ingredienst gave me a good overall buzz. For around three or so hours I was full of jitters, and my alertness was up a decent amount. After the three or so hours, I was hit by a pretty hard crash, but nothing I haven't seen before.

FINAL WARD: Overall, I have to say that rip it Citrus X is a good extension to the rip it line. While I found the can to be lacking, the good+ flavour and the decent kick evened things out. Personally, I feel that this is the worst in the rip it line, but that doesn't mean the drink is terrible. For $.99, Citrus X is a decent purchase, but with better drinks available at Big Lots for less money, it's tough to recommend it. All in all, if you don't live near a Big Lots or your looking for a steadily available cheap energy drink, then buy Citrus X, but for everyone else, I'm going to have to say skip rip it Citrus X...3.4/5

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Wired X505

Earlier this week when I was at my local Big Lots, I was looking at their growing selection of energy drinks, when one caught my eye, Wired X505. Wired X505 is part of the Wired line of energy drinks, and comes in the same twenty four oz. can that Berry Rush did before it, but with one major difference, Wired X505 has 505 mg of caffeine. That is right, 505 mg of caffeine. The moment I saw this I new I had to review it. Not only does Wired X505 contain 505 mg of caffeine, but also 4400 mg of Taurine. So, I have to say that I am extremely excited to try Wired X505, even if I think the flavour will be mediocre.

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can of Wired X505 uses the same design that Berry Rush, which I think is a bad decision on Wireds part. Though the flames don't add much for the can, I feel that the orange fits the design better than purple did. I'm guessing the flavour will be of the orange variety, on a count of the orange can. Though orange has never been my favorite flavour in energy drinks, it is far from my least.

TASTE: I opened the can and took a sip. The flavour starts out a thick vanilla and syrupy mixture, that quickly fades, leaving some mild bubble gum and citrus hints behind. The vanilla only lasts for a short time, where as the syrup lasts through out the whole flavour. Surprisingly Wired X505 is not all too sweet, which helps given its large twenty four oz. size. Though Wired X505 won't be winning any awards for its flavour, it is still a pretty good Red Bull clone.

KICK: As I stated in the introductory paragraph, Wired X505 contains a whole heck of a lot of ingredients. Each can contains: 505mg of caffeine, 4400 mg of Taurine, 300% of your daily intake of Vit. B3, 150% of your daily intake of Vit. B5, 375 mg of Guarana, 750% of your daily intake of Vit. B6, and 240% of your daily intake of VIt. B12. This really potent blend of ingredients gave me one, freakin', wild, kick. For over six hours I felt jittery, jumpy and was full of energy, but let me tell you, after the six+ hours I got hit with such a crash. I felt groggy, and tired. But I expected as much from an energy drink with 505mg of caffeine. Overall, definitely one of the most powerful kicks I've ever got from an energy drink.

FINAL WARD: From beginning to end, Wired X505 is an above average energy drink. Though the can was pretty bad, the taste was decent and the kick was impressive enough to save it from failing. I can't say that Wired X505 is the best looking or best tasting energy drink I've ever had, but I can say that it is definitely one of the most powerful energy drinks I've ever had. Though the kick was really impressive, I feel that Wired X505 is kinda a one trick pony, as all it can do is deliver a great kick. I have to say that from an overall perspective that I'm disappointed with Wired X505. It seems that the company only cared about was delivering a powerful kick, and that the can and taste were more of an after thought. All in all, if your looking for a cheap way to get a long and powerful buzz, definitely pick up Wired X505, but if your looking for really anything else, I say save your money and avoid...3.2/5

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NOS Powershit

Now, two of my least favorite things in the energy market are energy shots and the NOS line, so when all I had in my fridge was NOS Powershot, you can imagine that I wasn't a happy camper. Putting one of the most disappointing energy drink lines in shot form isn't exactly what I call a good idea. I've tried NOS Grape, NOS in the can and NOS in the bottle, and they all came out with similar results, below average, so my hopes for NOS Powershit- I mean Powershot, aren't too high.

FIRST IMPRESSION: NOS Powershot comes in a tiny two oz. bottle with a similar label to its older brothers NOS Grape and NOS in Bottle. Now while I think the blue bottle matches the orange label quite well, I don't like how the label is cluttered. I also don't like how most if not all energy shots come in resealable bottles, while many large energy drinks come in the conventional pop top soda can design that can't reseal. Why the hell would you put something that your supposed to drink in a sip in a resealable can, and put something your supposed to drink moderately like juice or tea comes in a non-close able bottle. Either way, the bottles too cluttered and doesn't do much to stand off the shelf compared to some shots.

TASTE: I opened the bottle and took a sip. The flavours best described as strong passion fruit upfront, but then a strong bitterness kick in. The passion fruit, while too strong for my taste, is sadly the best part of the flavour. There's a slight orange flavour that rides along side the passion fruit, but sadly gets overrun by the bitterness. Overall, NOS Powershot's flavour is one of the worst I've had in my near three years of reviewing.

KICK: Each bottle contains: high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, taurine, natural passion fruit flavor with other natural flavors, 125mg of caffeine, Vitamin C, inositol, ginseng, vitamin B6, beta carotene, and vitamin B 12. Now while most of the drinks in the NOS line has been disappointing on taste, but impressed me in the kick department, NOS Powershot provided me with a measly two hour buzz, filled with twitches and ended with no crash. NOS Powershot's weak kick surprised me, as the bottle said, "This is not NOS Energy Drink... and is much more powerful." You'd think after two powerful energy drinks that the concentrated form would be more powerful, but NOS somehow made that little bit of sense, nonsense.

FINAL WORD: Overall, NOS Powershot is not only a disgrace the NOS line, but to energy products in general. This could of been the saving grace to the poor NOS line, but it instead turned out to be a badly dressed, bitter weak disappointment. The Whole NOS line in general has been pretty bad, but at least they all had something to keep them from completely failing, but not NOS Powershot. Avoid NOS Powershot at all cost. I got mine from Big Lots for $1, and I have to say I paid too much...1.6/5

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I prefure "180 Aqua"(this is getting out of hand...)

Awhile ago, I reviewed 180 Red Goji, and even longer ago I reviewed 180 Blue, and so far I have to say that the 180 line, is actually pretty good. Each flavour is completely different from one another and from most other energy drinks on the market. But how long can one company keep it up. Well today will be a test of uniqueness with the review of 180 Orange Citrus Blast. Will it be just as unique as the previous 180 drinks, or will it sink in the bog of stale energy drinks?

FIRST IMPRESSION: I'm not a fan of 180 Orange's can, it doesn't really do anything but tell you it is an energy drink and that its orange flavoured. While it meets the bare requirements, it just simply go up and beyond. I do, however, like the fact that the design is more clearly seen in Orange Blast than in Blue or Red. But yeah, that's all the good aspects that I can find about 180 Orange's can.

TASTE: I opened the can and the scent of Sunkist orange soda kissed my nose. With the nostalgia of drinking Sunkist soda as a kid rushed to my head, I quickly took a sip. The flavour is best described as a unique blend of real and fake orange flavour that mostly consists of the fake flavour, as the real orange taste really only starts the flavour. Its pretty sweet, but not at all tart. It goes down smooth with no after taste. Overall, a really great tasting energy drink sure to remind people of Sunkist.

KICK: With each can containing carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, natural flavors, guarana, citric acid, potassium sorbate, malt extract, vitamin C, vitamin B6, and Vitamin B12, its no wonder that I only received a mild buzz. Though the lack of Taurine kinda let me down, I won't hold it against it(like some other energy drink reviewers do/did). All in all, the kick was about average, giving me no more jitters or twitches than the standard run-of-the-mill energy drink.

FINAL WORD: With the hundreds upon thousands of energy drinks out there, there is little from keeping 180 Orange Citrus Blast from flying off the self. While I really liked the taste, that alone is not enough. The can and kick were nothing over mediocre and the fact that I've only seen 180 in one store probably isn't helping sales. Now, if someone from Anheuser-Busch is reading this review, don't think of my words as harsh and unfair, but as constructive criticism from a man with an honest opinion...3.4/5

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awake good morning energy

Today I woke up and was in a rush. When I hit my alarm clock, I looked at the time and got ready as fast as I could. I had just grabbed my teeth and was brushing my pants when I almost forgot to grab an energy drink. And because I wasn't having a good morning, I chose awake good morning energy as my energy drink for the day. awake good morning energy is made by the Apple and Eve Juice company, and is called "awake good morning energy" because apparently this new thing called "juice" is supposed to help make a good morning, and awake energy is 100% juice. awake has to be the most juice energy drink I've ever reviewed, which makes sense because juice was just created yesterday.

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can of awake does a great job at telling the customer that there buying a juicy energy drinks, but personally I think that the "100% Juice" label also works(and is overworked and under payed, but he'll never start a strike because he can't risk losing his job in these tough economic times. Five kids and a wife with foot cancer is really making him regret not going to college...). The flavour's supposedly orange tangerine, like most other juice energy drinks out there. Overall, the can, while nothing new, is unoffensive.

TASTE: I opened the can and took a sip. The flavour is best described as refreshing orange juice upfront, that quickly fades into a light tangerine flavour, that seems to be surrounded by slight apple, pineapple, and passion fruit notes. The apple is the most noticeable of the notes, followed by passion fruit, which then is overlapped by the pineapple. It goes down really smooth and really feels like you just took a sip of juice out of a carton. The flavour's really good, and it really tastes like what juice is supposed to taste like, which adds complexity and originality to it.

KICK: Each can contains: 100% of your daily intake of Vit. C, B5, B12, B6, B3, fifty% of your daily intake of Vit. A, twenty five% of your daily intake of Vit. E, eighty mg of caffeine, 125 mg of Essentra, and only 100 mg of Taurine. After I pulled myself away from the fetal position because of the lack of Taurine, I noticed that Essentra had a little "*" above it. I then hopped on a boat and was on my way to see the ancient god Buddha. When in his presence, I asked him what "Essentra" meant. He replied with a grin and his guards threw me out of his temple(and I didn't even have time to go to the gift shop...). Once I regained consciousness, I realized my head was stuck to the can. I peeled it off and took a look at the large dent I made on the can. I noticed that there was a little "*" next to the ingredients list and it said that Essentra is the trademarked name for Ashwagandha. Ashwagandha was lasted found in the horrid Frappio line. Bizarre. Overall, the kick lasted around three hours, with no jitters or twitches, just a raised alertness.

FINAL WORD: Overall, I'm generally impressed with awake good morning energy. The can, kick, and taste have all been either decent or great, something I'd never expect from a 100% juice energy drink. I can see awake being popular with health raisins, and being sold in gyms, but not so-popular with couch potato skins and coffee drinkers. I have to say that awake is one of the better tasting juice energy drinks I've ever had. All in all, I feel that awake good morning energy is a not just another pimple on the ugly energy drink market, but instead a dab of Proactiv Solution...3.7/5

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Stoked Juiced Tropical Orange Review

Today I'm gonna try a new style for this review. Like myself, many other energy drink review web logs use the "Taste, Kick, etc." category style, but some use the less popular style of not labeling it or putting it in to categories. So today I'm gonna use the less popular style. Now, I don't plan on permanently changing my reviewing ways, but if I find it easier to write and the readers find it clearer and easier to read, I'll consider it. Anyway, on to the review. The Stoked line of energy drinks is one of the best lines of energy drinks since GURU, so it's a shame to see it come to an end. It seems every time I find a great line of energy drinks the line goes by like that. 'Tis a shame. Stoked Juiced Tropical Orange comes in the standard colour for juice energy drinks now a days, orange. The orange doesn't work too well with the bad ass dragon on the can. Why orange with a dragon? It doesn't make sense. Overall, the can's below decent.

I opened the can and was hit with the standard energy juice smell, maybe a little less rough. I took a sip and was hit by a surprisingly light sparkling orange flavour that is neither too tart or too sweet. It's different from most energy juices because its not a mix of juice concentrates, but instead focuses more on the orange flavour. I do taste some mango in there, but most of the flavour is left to the orange. There's also a mildly unnoticeable white grape flavour in there too, but comes out more towards the end and doesn't last long. Overall, the flavours actually very good, beating out most energy juices, but I have to say its my least favorite Stoked energy drink.

After downing the can I immediately felt more awake and had more energy. The juice made me feel healthy and the lack of HFCS helped the buzz last a good four plus hours and give no crash. Each can contains seventy% juice, 180% or Riboflavin, 200% of Niacin, 160mg of caffeine, 500% of Vit. B6, and 2000mg of Taurine. All in all, I feel that Stoked Orange is the worst in the series, but then again, that's an honor all on its own. Overall, I have to say I'm wildly impressed with the Stoked Energy line. Each drink, while some not as good as others, were a unique take on common flavours and generally a fun experience. It's sad that the line is coming to an end. Some could say that Stoked Sugar Free is still left un-reviewed by me, but I don't usually count sugar free energy drinks as "energy drinks." I'm more of a high calorie, full sugar kind of guy.

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Joker Mad Energy + Juice Re-Review

When I got home today, I remembered that I haven't reviewed an energy drink since Monday, and that I was seriously due for a review. So I grabbed the first energy drink I could see in whats left of my once tall and mighty energy drink puddle, and it happened to be Joker Mad Energy + Juice. Now, I have already reviewed Joker + Juice, but I really like re-reviewing energy drinks, it gives me a chance of correcting my earlier mistakes when I first reviewed a drink, and the mistakes I made in my original Joker + Juice are obvious, painfully obvious. I barley described the taste, and I didn't include a kick overview. So I decided to stick with re-reviewing Joker + Juice, but, will I improve on the review, or will I rip you off yet again...

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can, isn't too impressive. I like the original Joker can, but the design just doesn't work well with orange. One(1) thing that bugs me is that the same thing is written on the side of the can as the original Joker. Why wouldn't change it? Its a different variety, it would make sense to change it. What if Super Mario Bros. 3 had the same box art, just in a different colour, and the same description of Super Mario Bros.? It would make no sense and be down right idiotic. Monster also is at fault of saying the same thing over and over again, excluding extensions such as Java Monster and Monster Assault...2.3/5

TASTE: When I opened the can, I was greeted by a rather disgusting mix of Sunkist Orange soda, and a Red Bull clone. I cautiously took a sip, and was rather surprised with the flavour. Its best described as a Red Bull base, with mango, pear, passionfruit, and orange. The mango isn't too heavy, leaving much more attention to pear, passionfruit, and orange. Upfront, the pear and orange hit your taste buds, then fades away to a mix of passionfruit and some mild mango. The taste reminds me of RockStar Juiced, only not as smooth. Overall, a pretty good tasting drink, though the non-smoothness doesn't help with the sixteen(16) oz. size of the drink, which deducts some in the final score...3.4/5

KICK: Each can contains: 400mg of Panax Ginseng, 2000mg of Taurine, 200% Vitamin B12, 200% of Vitamin B6, 200% of Niacin, 30% of Vitamin C, 200% of Riboflavin, and 80% of Vitamin A. Now, this is what I'm talking about... Joker Mad Energy + Juice gave me a wicked buzz, true Hansens style. After drinking the whole can, I received massive jitters, twitches, and felt like going crazy like a real Joker is. While the kick isn't as good as Power Trip Mango, its still wildly impresssive...4.5/5

FINAL WORD: Overall, I'm impressed with the performance of Joker Energy + Juice, in the taste and kick department. The taste was pretty good and the kick knocked my socks off, while the can kinda sucked. Its weird how a lot of the powerful energy drinks have bad cans. Examples of this are : The Xenergy Line, Go Fast, RockStar Juiced, and Who's Your Daddy. I get kinda pissed off when this happens. Costumers get the wrong impression of these truly great drinks, and instead go for bad, but good looking energy drinks like Red Devil, Monster Assault and Venom. Its a shame really, it truly disappoints me when things don't get the attention they deserve...3.4/5

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GURU Juicy Tangerine

Looking in my mini fridge for some quick energy I grabbed GURU Juicy Tangerine, one(1) of the last GURU's I have left. Now, so far, the GURU line has been pretty impressive, though Honey Lemon Green Tea was pretty bad, though that's just because of my hate towards tea. But today I going to review the Tangerine variety today, mainly because I haven't reviewed one(1) in a while. I had a pattern when I got the GURU and Starbucks, it went, "GURU, Starbucks, GURU, random, Starbucks", and so on. But then, I said fuck the pattern and reviewed what ever, and not reviewing another GURU for a while. But today ends that streak, because I'm reviewing GURU Juicy Tangerine. Wow, I was able to waste a whole intro by saying a lot of the same things, over and over again. I hope my (non existing)readers won't catch that little cheat I just used. Yeah, other than me pretty much telling you I jipped you, you guys will never know...

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can, I feel, is only decent. While the orange tells you its gonna be an "orange-like" tasting drink, it just isn't all that appealing. And the white gives the impression that its gonna be more of an orange creamsicle, while the top clearly states that its "tangerine" flavoured. I have to say, that judging by the can, that this is the GURU that least excites me, despite "tangerine" being a citrus, and as we all know, the Caffeine King loves his citrus...3/5

TASTE: I opened the can and took a sip. First thing I notice is this, real tangerine fruit taste, that's not too sweet, but just right. Though it lacks in originality that the other GURU's had, its still one(1) of the best tasting orange drinks I've had in a while. The non-carbonation really adds to the juice-likeness that GURU Juicy Tangerine tries to reincarnate. The Other than the tangerine, there's also some mild navel orange taste to it, though its more noticeable at the end. The tangerine is sharp, and has some mild grapefruit and lime flavours mixed in. Overall, while I do like the taste of GURU Juicy Tangerine, its simply not as original as the other flavours in the GURU line-up...4/5

KICK: Each can contains: guarana, caffeine, ginseng, and ginko. wait a minute, "ginko?" What the fucks ginko. Ha, the Geico Ginko, Gex, the platforming Ginko, oh watch out, those evil Ginko's might get Pamela Gidley in the movie Aberration, and Wiesmann cars "stick to the road like ginkos to a wall". Okay, that's enough for the crappy jokes. Anyway, after drinking the whole can, I felt much more alert, and focus, even though I have a cold. Its not a chemical induced, acid filled buzz, more of a healthy buzz, that's sure to wake you up, but not too awake...4/5

FINAL WORD: All and all, I feel that GURU Juicy Tangerine, while not too innovative, was a good extension to the line. GURU Juicy Tangerine is a perfect example of an energy drink that doesn't present anything new to the market, but is still a great overall drink. Though, it makes me wonder, why would GURU, after making several "unique" flavours, decide to go with an average flavour? What were they thinking? Its like they said, "People love all the unique flavours we offer, what? Whats out next flavour? Oh, that's easy, its orange." It just makes no sense to me. Its like the Bubsy video game series. The first three(3) games were great, then they said, "well, people seem to like Bubsy so far, so lets make a shitty sequel." Despite this, the drink is a great extention to the GURU line and I can't wait for the last GURU review, GURU Original...4/5

official site

Rockstar Juiced Energy Drink

Rockstar is one(1) of the most well known energy drinks in the market. Its right up there with Red Bull and Monster. So its no shock when Monster released Khaos, an energy drink containing juice, other companies would follow, like Rockstar. So today I'm gonna review Rockstar Juiced. It claims to be 50%. Wait a minute, does that mean the first half's gonna be plain juice and the last half is gonna be plain energy drink? Lets find out...

FIRST IMPRESSION: The can is, how should I say, ugly? Yeah, its ugly. It kinda annoys me how energy drink companies don't come up with a new can for every flavour. They all use the same design. At least Monster will occasionally change it up a bit. Upon further inspection, I noticed that Rockstar is a little full of them self's. They say things like "Bigger" and "Better" and "Faster"... and "Stronger". Kinda ironic, Rockstar isn't the biggest, there's bigger 32oz. Monster...2/5

TASTE: The taste is very short, and light. Its best described as passionfruit upfront and orange citrus in the back and towards the end. Its lightly carbonated and not very sweet. I really don't taste any mango, like the can says. But, I have to say that the flavour is a winner. Its even better than Guava. Its a very smooth and goes down easy, which goes well with the large 24oz size of the drink. It doesn't feel like a chore drinking this. Its more like, "shit, its gone." Overall, a really good flavour. I can definitely see myself drinking this again in my dreams...4.2/5

KICK: Well, each can contains a whopping: Carbonated water, fruit juice concentrates (a blend of apple, pear, mango, orange, and passion fruit juice from concentrates), glucose, taurine, citric acid, taurine, natural flavors, sodium benzoate (to protect taste), ascorbic acid, caffeine, potassium sorbate (to protect taste), L-carnitine, inositol, milk thistle extract, ester gum, ginko biloba leaf extract, sucralose, guarana seed extract, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate, panax ginseng root extract, riboflavin, pyridoxine hydrochloride, beta-carotene (color), and cyanocobalamin. I felt very alert and energetic. This lasted a good four(4) and a half(1/2) before I felt like collapsing. Overall, right on par with Rockstar Juiced Guava...4/5

FINAL WORD: I'd have to say that both Rocstar Juiced's are really good. Despite the can lacking in... everything, the great taste and kick make up for it. I'm kinda disappointed thought with Rockstar. They don't distribute as well as most other big name energy drinks. I rarely see them at convenience stores, and occasionally at Big Lots or the Dollar Tree. This just means I'll have to go to the Dollar Tree and Big Lots more often. Oh poor me...4.1/5

official site

whats that smell?

AH CRAP! I got a cold... so why not have a juiced energy drink...This is the 2nd juice energy drink I've ever had, the 1st being Ace, but now this has 50% juice, way more than the 10% in Ace. Opening the can, i smell a Red Bull apple juice mix, which isn't good. But it taste just like apple juice. Now, this is the 1st energy drink review I've done while I'm drinking it, but so far, my headache is gone...

BOOBIES: PART "2"

Sorry about this being late, I've been busy lately... anyway, this is my 1st juice energy drink, which i didn't have high hopes for... but i was wrong, this was AWESOME! It has 10% of my daily juice, which isn't very high but... who cares. This taste just the original... And the kick was nice, higher than most.