Sunday, August 26, 2012

Double Kick Energy Candy Line Review


Alright, we get it, your product is a candy, but that is certainly no excuse for the unattractively childish packaging, especially if it is an adult energy candy. The name “Double Kick,” complete with a cartoony donkey, is painfully trite. It is not original, it is not fun, and with a solid eighty milligrams of caffeine per small tab, its potency should be demonstrated by a more serious, or impressive, design.

When you crunch down on any given tablet, the sorbitol based bite breaks without a satisfactory snap. Instead there is an ungainly grind of grains and grit, tasting little of the fruitiness promised (allowing the candy to dissolve is thus recommended). This is how each of the candies physically preform in the mouth, but the following explains the individual flavors in more depth:

Green Apple: The little piece is appropriately green and smells wicked of green apple, like any good candy would. But this is not a good candy; your first encounter with the tablet is disrespectful, tasting very mildly of green apple with a consistent synthetic sweetness.

Grape: The next flavor is grape, but we are actually exposed to a decent fruit flavor. Sure, it is more alike grape medicine than any other application, the tartness is good and the sweetness is superior.

Watermelon: The red fleshed melon is naturally tame, unforced and laid-back, but without real sugar and without a large size to properly convey the flavor right, we instead suffer through a synthetic moment of ineptitude.

Strawberry: Tasting very little like the vibrant perfection of the outwardly seeded fruit, this piece is unapologetically unpronounced, ignoring everything down to the hush idiosyncrasies in favor of ignorant sweetness. It was actually quite difficult to differentiate from the watermelon's equally unelaborative flavor.

Orange: Scented strongly and pleasantly, this flavor preforms rather well, at first; the fake sugars sweeten just enough, and there is a touch of tartness that really approximates the fruit. However, the sorbitol and sucralose do eventually and unfortunately burn and clog your palate with its artificiality.

Blue Raspberry: Sweetness subdued and without any tartness, this blue raspberry imitation is bland and unexciting. It barely resembles the candied fruit flavor, let alone demonstrate any depth, however the absence of any artificial aftertaste is worth noting.

Black Cherry: A naturally pronounced and complex flavor, neither of which the small size is capable of. The resulting candy is artificially harsh and entirely unappetizing despite the pleasant aroma. It may have been the last flavor tried, but it was the first that needed a chaser.

There are five calories, eighty milligrams of caffeine, some B vitamins, and taurine per piece. The quick-hitting energy was of decent strength, however it lasted only an hour and a half before I was considering another. But then I remembered the unpleasing taste, and reached for something else.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Been reading your blog for some time and trying different energy products as you rate them. At first I thought you had an odd pallet given the items you liked vs. products you disliked. After the last few reviews and tasting of reviewed products I’ve decided that you may actually consume far too much energy products and it has actually caused your taste buds to be very off. Anyone who reads your blog and follows this "kings" suggestion or advice will quickly realize they purchased energy products that not only taste horrible, but are usually overpriced, given the content and effect of product. I suggest anyone who takes the "kings" word as the” know all & be all of caffeine” to be prepared for disappointment.

Anonymous said...

Or, Mr. Anonymous, the King has his own subjective tastes, which differ from person to person.

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