Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Rockstar Pure Zero Mango Orange Passion Fruit Energy Drink Review

Bright orange should just jump off of this can's blackness, but its unfocused fore and background has eyes offering only a fleeting glaze. It is loquacious and unrelenting, tedious to look at and even more so to think about. The inconsistently textured aluminum should feel more important in the hand, but it is a trite and forced premium quality today cliche like chrome accents on a Nissan Versa.

Nose excited but palate quaking, the cologne from the can would work in a pinch behind the ears before a date. But our first sip is whole heartedly lackluster, pale impersonations without multiplicity or respect. Mango, orange and passion fruit are text most irrelevant, words having little to do with the experience. The trilogy of flavors should be symmetrical and intricate, with nuance, texture and robust saccharinity. The reality is an invariable taste, an obtuse lump of sorrowed xeroxes. With only the most manufactured sweetness, the watery mouthfeel has ever ounce painfully and frustratingly disconcerting. This disturbed potation is but another rusty cog in the ill-oiled Rockstar machine.

Here is the drink's saving grace, well, it tries and nearly does. 240 milligrams of caffeine is a mighty quantity, and the four hour kick has a lot to thank for it. Each can also contains: B vitamins, taurine, inositol, milk thistle, ginseng, and guarana. Ugly, ungainly and unsatisfying, Rockstar Pure Zero Mango Orange Passion Fruit is an energy drink I would not give another look on Big Lots' shelves. Somehow, this is on many convenience store shelves.

official site

2 comments:

Brad Porter said...

I thought this tasted like peach more than orange.

Anonymous said...

I am surprised by your review, this is the best tasting energy drink I've ever had, BY FAR. And I have tried literally everything. I buy one of these every day. If they made a soda/caffeine free version that tasted the same, I would drink it all day long. This is THE best tasting energy drink available in my opinion. Oh, and the 240mg of caffeine per can doesn't hurt either. I am surprised that this drink isn't available in more stores. There isn't a Rockstar/Monster/Red Bull/Amp/Etc that comes anywhere close to how good this one tastes.

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