Saturday, December 6, 2014

Monster Ultra Sunrise Energy Drink Review

Bright without being playful, the can to this unknowingly divulgated Monster is silly and very far from attractive, alienating its own fans while alluring no new ones. Its flashy color and "sunrise" title allude that this is a take on orange juice, similar to the mediocre Mtn Dew Kickstart line, but without any of that brand's clarity.

Orange is the star here, well more of a has-been, a prosaic portrayal, and looking at the ingredients, quite literally lacking the zest of the fruit. Every exposure to this enfeebled experience leaves you wincing in pococurantism, a pint of pure insipidity who's paucity of both saccharinity and tartness is sorrowfully soporific on an early morning. But things do not end there: its nebbish effervescence disappoints as a soda yet distracts as a juice without satisfying either. Each gulp is undecided on how to interpret the word "orange," giving you two attempts tasted parallel, but who have too many discrepancies to create a concordant beverage. This alloys this awkward cross between verisimilitude and caricature while unavailing in either. It is zero calorie, so it has that going for it. And that is all it has going for it.

Each can contains: caffeine (151mg), taurine, insitol, B vitamins, ginseng, guarana, and l-carnitine. There is not much energy from this blend, lasting maybe two and a half hours, unfortunate for a sixteen ounce drink. Overall, Ultra Sunrise is a mess of half-baked ideas and unfulfilled potential. So it fits right in with the rest of the Monster line. It never sees the sunrise, instead rolling over and going back to sleep.

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