Sunday, January 1, 2017

Your Drink Sucks (Year 2016)

With great power comes great responsibility, and it is my responsibility to prevent drinkers across the world from experiencing terrible energy drinks. Whether it is an ugly can, a nasty taste, or a weak kick, these are truly 2016's worst of the worst.

*these are not necessarily products that were released in 2016, but rather those that were reviewed in 2016.

Unfortunately for Rockstar, their worst drink this year was a madly creative one. Even if that creativity was misguided and poorly executed.

A terrible coffee drink that was a rip-off even at its seventy four cent discounted price.

Fountain energy drinks have wonderful potential, but this one has a terrible execution.

Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino

Not an energy drink per se, but this coffee drink butchered its bonfire artifice.

Monster Gronk

Monster Gronk trades its mundane taste for that of Red Bull, and the results are a colossal miscalculation.

Monster Mutant Super Soda

Mutant may also be made by Monster, and is arguably one with the most potential, it is such a shame taking sips of this Mtn Dew clone.

No Fear Citrus

I feel bad placing this drink on this list, but after six years and no new varieties, the disappointment is felt, even when I did not think I had any expectations.

Realtree Outdoors Xtra Citrus

This drink violates the Caffeine King's first law of good drinks, by not making one.

Mossy Oak Pursuit

It is not that I hate these so called "camouflage" drinks because I am not a hunter, but because they truly suck.

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