Tuesday, January 1, 2013

You Drink Sucks: The 2012 Edition

With another year gone goes the memories of those awful products suffered through, so let us single them out, point and laugh at them one last time before looking forward. 2012 had quite a few dreadful new novelties, revivals, and line extensions. Here are the worst.

Rockstar Iced Peach Energy Tea

Its bland excuse for peach flavor conflicts with its pleasant visuals and lofty expectations.

 Shock Energy Blend Coffee

Perhaps those who enjoy french roasted coffee black will pass this pathetic decoction, but my palate does not deserve the punishment.


The bar was set skyhigh by previous marshmallows by the company, and it hurts when their exciting flavor failed so miserably.

Wat Aah! Energy Water

Pure water tastes like water, but it is the sheer balls of the company claiming this as an "energy" product that grinds my gears.

Celsius Apple Orchid Blend

Do you like apples? Energy drinks? How about apple flavored energy drinks? Well, you wont after this.

4C Totally Lite Tea 2 Go Three-Pack

A trilogy of misfires and miscalculations, none of the three were even palatable, but all were terrible.

XS Orange Blast

The humble orange fruit is easily mimicked without sugar or actual juice, so it is so startling when a company cannot do such a simple task.

Ironclad Cherry Lime Zero

I loved the can, but that alone could not salvage the noisome taste and dull kick.

Stacker 2 Java Shot Hopped Up Hazelnut

Miles ahead of its foul brother, this clearanced nasty is still many miles behind even the most mediocre.

Slap Black and White

My criticisms for this discontinued dud are pointless because... this is discontinued.

Starbucks Doubleshot White Chocolate

Cool can aside, this is a tired regurgitation of everything energy coffees always do wrong. Tasting of white chocolate and coffee only in theory, it is a wearily weak wreck in actuality.

Golazo Sugar Free

The original Golazo was a solid overall energy drink with a great taste, so it is a shame the sugar free version bombed as bad as it did.

Double Kick Energy Candy line

I was enthusiastically awaiting these promising energy candies, but each and every flavor would make even a child wince (plus, then you would have a caffeinated kid to deal with, and possibly child abuse papers). Without a doubt the worst of the year.

*these are not necessarily products that were released in 2012, but rather those that were reviewed in 2012.

No comments:

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. I do not take responsibility for any contents linked or referred to on my guest book/weblog. Photos are either mine or owned by their credited sources. All my photos are free to use without permission. If you see a picture that is yours and do not want it here, just email me and it will be removed.